top 10 ways to get rid of your roomate

[Stress_test]

I would begin wondering what the hell my ole lady was thinking to bring a guy home in the first place... Then I would have tossed his ass out in the cold with his used rubber. Who the fuck jerks off in a condom? That's bullshit! He's bonin somebody, or pokin holes in the roast beef, hamburger, or chickens when nobody is around. I guess the only bright side to that thought is that at least he used a condom and nobody is chewin on dead roasted sperm.

I mean that shit's plain nasty to even think about! But the last laugh would be on him...

Seriously, if the freak is as fuckin twisted as you say; what makes you think that he ain't already pullin nasty crap on you and your lady? He dresses up like a woman for fux sake, he obviously isn't very stable.

Now after all that shit stopped going through my mind: I would get him all kinds of drunk, stoned and passed out fucked up, while he is dressed in drag, and call an ambulance for him. After that episode; he wouldn't have much argument in court if he decided to contest an eviction...

 

[Bobby Stainless]

Evictions can take up to three months, depending on the state you are in.

 

[supermanlives]

i expect a long battle to evict. being as he was a lawyer. ............ this aint good

 

[supermanlives]

the old lady is very compassionate easy going person . she thinks everyone is her damn friend. we have had many roomates over theses years. a few tweekers,lesbians,drunks, and a few on crazy meds. each was shown the door before long. this one is the worst drinks prune juice and vodka at breakfast, starts arguments with me and the old lady. i guess i got to cull my extra plants to be safe before doing anything.

 

[Max Yields]

Whoah!!! Too much on my mind concerning this topic at the moment and I'm very high right now, so I'll keep it short with a simple solution... Put itching powder on his clothes, shoes, all his stuff you can think of. Here are a few good ones. His...it's...ahem, undergarments. The powder which is very easy to find online, will be strategically placed of course on the more sensitive areas. Be creative.

After he is constantly scratching and itching, tell him he needs to go because you don't want to catch what he has.
Make it a huge fuckin' deal and get his ass outta there asap!!!

I'm not sure but you might even have the law on your side concerning this matter, although it would be difficult proving its a disease...or maybe not. Things might never escalate that far anyhow so I wouldn't worry about it...but then again he is a fuckin' queer ass crossdressing faggot so he probably would call 'em...editI see he did already).
I'm not sure how well this would work, but it is MOST DEFINITELY worth a try..! The results may impress you. You have much more to gain then lose by trying out this idea of mine.

 

[diggdugg]

The upper decker is always good if he has his own bathroom. Shit in the toilet tank, it will stink awhile before he finds it.
Get rid of that dude man, sounds like a sick fuck that's causing you way to much grief. Your home is your refuge from the rest of this crazy ass world.

 

[Bobby Stainless]

in his shower.

 

[supermanlives]

i am thinking about a desert trip and pick up a few friends. you know snakes and maybe a scorpion or 2

 

[paladin420]

Take him on the trip..just bring back the scorpions

 

[Bobby Stainless]

 

[budbasket]

We have the worst foreign exchange neighbors that party till like 5am every morning, anyways there all Asians that are here just for school however they drive really nice cars. In my fairly ghetto (college student) complex there are 2 Mercedes(a mlk and a benz both 08 or newer), a few Lexus', a new mach 1 mustang, and several new nissans.

I can't really complain because this is a party town and my girlfriend and I are just act 20-30 years older then we really are. It just sucks them being so loud in our parking lot and shit. We have army neighbors who are off to the base by 5:30am and they just sit out in there trucks and blast country I think to get back at the Asians, it also gets to us though. So we either hear asian people laughing and talking at 4am then rednecks blasting country an hour later. Awesome way to start the day. My girlfriend and I just are 20-30 years ahead of our time, old couple in ready for bed by 8:30-9. Anyways I was tossing those cold packs, to keep lunches cold, outta the freezer the other day and was thinking how fucked it would be to melt the packs down, then cut a hole in a corner, and spray it all over their cars. It gets down to low teens/single digits at night here already so wouldn't take long to refreeze.

I do not condone vandalism, I really have never destroyed property that wasn't mine, besides harmless neighborhood tping, same thing as stealing in my book, but an idea I had and this seemed like a fairly good forum to bitch in. Stay safe/stay medicated-basket

 

[Stoner4Life]

get h^2 O to move in w/you guys

and he's got $900 a month to burn.

 

[redbudduckfoot]

you grow, right? what the fuck are you doing w a partner that pulls this shit? didnt you get a say in regards to who lives with you? if my girl ever even brought someone i didnt know to our house she would have about 30 seconds to get rid of him. then again, she would never pull that kind of shit.

how to get rid of him? i really dont know. hopefully you are in a med state; if not, this could get real messy.

 

[mrcreosote]

Cigarette burns in his pantyhose...

Makes em crazy...

 

[SeaMaiden]

Just start proceedings to evict him. If he's spent more than a week or two on your sofa he now has tenant rights. Yes, in California at least it's a minimum of 3mos, more like 6. This is why I have never been a roommate kind of gal. I have also been a landlord, so I have an idea of what you're in for. I suggest that your GF/wife begin making up for her horrendous mistake by delivering lots and lots of blow-jobs, delivered in earnest.

 

[djingo]

funny, most people workin at court are freaks at night.

a treat with ultrasound, deep low bass freq to be point at his/her bedroom for 24/7.
creature won´t hear it, but will soon start to pull the hairs out.

 

[supermanlives]

asshole called cops and said there was domestic violence and i grow weed. cops came ,no violence and my weed is legal . i culled my extras. cops couldnt do shit . roomate is definately on his way out of fucking here. and hell ya they couldnt take any o my weed.

 

[supermanlives]

payback is a bitch

 

[supermanlives]

now i am reallly mad. but i admit it was cool toking in front of the piggies and they couldnt do shit. this girlie dressing queer is on his way out one fucking way or another.

 

[longearedfriend]

superman I am really surprised to see this kind of post coming from you

you usually have everything under control