The differnce between kinky and perverted? when you're kinky you use a feather. When you're perverted you use the whole bird!
`mT
`mT
There's this movie, can't remember the name, and one of the stories in it is about this woman who gets encouraged by her girlfriend to put her finger up her boyfriend's ass while they're having sex. So she does it and it goes fine until afterwards when she smells her finger, and reacts with horror at the smell. So she goes and washes her finger, and it still smells, so she scrubs it harder, still not happy with it. Then she goes to a pharmacist to find the most potent cleanser for it. Still won't work. She scrubs that finger raw, while freaking out that the smell won't go away.Man who go to bed with itchy bottom, wake up with smelly finger.
There's this movie, can't remember the name, and one of the stories in it is about this woman who gets encouraged by her girlfriend to put her finger up her boyfriend's ass while they're having sex. So she does it and it goes fine until afterwards when she smells her finger, and reacts with horror at the smell. So she goes and washes her finger, and it still smells, so she scrubs it harder, still not happy with it. Then she goes to a pharmacist to find the most potent cleanser for it. Still won't work. She scrubs that finger raw, while freaking out that the smell won't go away.
Finally she goes to hospital and while she's there, she cuts off the finger... What was priceless was the look on the girl's face the whole time, utter disgust! Then the story ends when the girl tells her parents and her boyfriend why she cut off her finger, with the parents attacking the boyfriend...
Anyone know the name of that movie?
ahhhh...almost golf seaon for me...
A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups. Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golf bag and looks at her and says, "Im Mother Nature, and I dont like the way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you wont be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea." The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared. Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband "Hey, wheres your ball?" "Its over here in the pussy willows." The wife screams back, "DONT HIT THE BALL!!!! DONT HIT THE BALL!!!!"
Lil Johnny joke for Hank
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Johnny went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid.
Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!''