G
Guest
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big
bad
wolf crouched behind a log.
"My, what big brown eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."
The wolf jumps up & runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, &
this
time he's crouched behind a bush.
"My, what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."
Again, the wolf jumps up & runs away.
About 2 miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again
&
he's crouched behind a rock .
"My, what big white teeth you have, Mr. Wolf ."
With that the wolf jumps up & screams,
"Will you knock it off I'm trying to poop."
bad
wolf crouched behind a log.
"My, what big brown eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."
The wolf jumps up & runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, &
this
time he's crouched behind a bush.
"My, what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."
Again, the wolf jumps up & runs away.
About 2 miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again
&
he's crouched behind a rock .
"My, what big white teeth you have, Mr. Wolf ."
With that the wolf jumps up & screams,
"Will you knock it off I'm trying to poop."
hahahaha that was a nice 1 journeyman
A man and woman are on holiday trekking though asia....when they are in India, the go to a market, and come across a covered stall, the owner welcomes them quickly and offers them refreshment out of the sun!
The wife has a look around at all the nick nacks and ponders on gifts to take home...
The husband sees a pair of sandals and asks how much they are...the shop owner says, "Ahh, sir, these are very special magic sandals, when a man puts these on, he will make love like a wild animal"
"I dont need em anyway" said the man, of course but his wife said"I dunno, we could with giving anything a go, try em on honey, please...." so he does... and at the very moment when he finished doing up the strap on the second sandal he stood bolt upright, with a crazy, aminal glint in his eye, ...pure lust...then quick as a flash, he grabbed hold of the shopkeeper, turned him around, bent him over the table and started pulling his own trousers down.... and all the time the shopkeeper is screaming "AAAAHHHHH NOOO, SIIRRRRR YOUVE GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET,SIIIRRRRR YOU GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET AAAAHHHHHHHNOOOO"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
The wife has a look around at all the nick nacks and ponders on gifts to take home...
The husband sees a pair of sandals and asks how much they are...the shop owner says, "Ahh, sir, these are very special magic sandals, when a man puts these on, he will make love like a wild animal"
"I dont need em anyway" said the man, of course but his wife said"I dunno, we could with giving anything a go, try em on honey, please...." so he does... and at the very moment when he finished doing up the strap on the second sandal he stood bolt upright, with a crazy, aminal glint in his eye, ...pure lust...then quick as a flash, he grabbed hold of the shopkeeper, turned him around, bent him over the table and started pulling his own trousers down.... and all the time the shopkeeper is screaming "AAAAHHHHH NOOO, SIIRRRRR YOUVE GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET,SIIIRRRRR YOU GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET AAAAHHHHHHHNOOOO"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Gamera
Active member
hahahahaha! Wrong feet, that's what's wrong with me!
ok here we go:
One day Winston Churchill was having a rendezvous with a new concubine for the first time. While disrobing, the concubine says to him, "My what a small organ you have". Winston calmly replied, "My dear. I had no idea I would be playing in a cathedral".
ok here we go:
One day Winston Churchill was having a rendezvous with a new concubine for the first time. While disrobing, the concubine says to him, "My what a small organ you have". Winston calmly replied, "My dear. I had no idea I would be playing in a cathedral".
both very funny thnax for the laugh
cpt.kush
Active member
ok..lil' jimmy was in school one day and ms.brown the teacher say's ..today kids we'll be doing our vocabulary words!... but instead of spelling them we'll use them in a sentence ..so she gose down each row till she gets to jimmy ..ms.brown says jimmy your word is URINATE...lil jimmy thinks for a moment.. then with a sly grinn he looks at ms.brown and says URINATE..ms.brown your an 8 but if you had bigger tit's you'd be a 10!!!
cpt.kush
Active member
well after dealing with lil' jimmy ms.brown is ready for her next class and this is going to be a good class for ms.brown has lolly pops for the kids ..class starts and ms.brown tells the kids today we're going to match the color of the candys with there flavor so ms. brown gives each child 5 different lolly pops they open the red one and she ask what flavor is this they taste it and all say CHERRY!!...next they do the blue one they all say it's GRAPE!!..then the green one ..they all say it's APPLE!!..well just then they open and taste the clear one and after a few guesses ms.brown says i'll give you a hint it's what your mommy calls your dad when he comes home from work ..still puzzled the children think long and hard just when she thought she'll tell them the flavor.. lil cindy jumps up and yells SPIT IT OUT,SPIT IT OUT!!..IT"S ASSHOLE IT"S ASSHOLE!!
wikidcalibudgrl
Active member
Short one here...
What's Michel Jacksons' favorite key to sing in?
What's Michel Jacksons' favorite key to sing in?
wikidcalibudgrl
Active member
A Minor
G
Guest
S
skeezo
...
monkeygrow69
New member
I GOT ONE OF THOSE NEW CAR STEREO`S .........Its one of the new voice activated ones where ya just shout ........classic/rock/dance etc and it auto finds the right sort of station whilst driving along....
Although the other day some kids ran out in front of me...and i screamed....FUCKING KIDS.....!!!!!
and the stereo started playing micheal jackson..........
Although the other day some kids ran out in front of me...and i screamed....FUCKING KIDS.....!!!!!
and the stereo started playing micheal jackson..........
what do the starship enterprise and scott toilet tissue have in common
they both circle uranus looking for klingons
they both circle uranus looking for klingons
Homer Simpson
New member
I was really drunk on night at Moe's. When I was pissing in the bathroom I saw a leprchaun pissing in the stall next to me. I said" hey, your a leprechaun. Don't I get a wish." he said because I didn't acually catch him I didn't get a wish. he said he'd grant me any wish if I let him give it to me in the ass.
I didn't want to do it but If he could give me a 10 inch penis it would be worth it. So we made a deal, I dropped my pants and bent over. After a couple minutes I looked back at him and said "man, I can't believe I getting screwed by a leprechaun"
He replied " I can't belive you think I'm a leprechaun"
I didn't want to do it but If he could give me a 10 inch penis it would be worth it. So we made a deal, I dropped my pants and bent over. After a couple minutes I looked back at him and said "man, I can't believe I getting screwed by a leprechaun"
He replied " I can't belive you think I'm a leprechaun"
G
Guest
Had to share this one:
A pastor wanted to raise money for his church, and on being told that there was a fortune to be made in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. At the local auction, however, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise, the donkey came in third.
The next day the local paper carried this headline: "Pastor's Ass Shows". The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won!
The local paper read: "Pastor's Ass Out Front". The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper read: " Bishop Scratches Pastor's Ass".
The bishop was fit to be tied. He ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing the news, posted this headline the next day: "Nun Has Best Ass in Town". The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars.
The next day, the paper read: "Nun Sells Ass For $10.00". After the bishop was revived, he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: "Nun Announces Her Ass Is Wild and Free".
The bishop was buried the next day.
A pastor wanted to raise money for his church, and on being told that there was a fortune to be made in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. At the local auction, however, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise, the donkey came in third.
The next day the local paper carried this headline: "Pastor's Ass Shows". The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won!
The local paper read: "Pastor's Ass Out Front". The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper read: " Bishop Scratches Pastor's Ass".
The bishop was fit to be tied. He ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing the news, posted this headline the next day: "Nun Has Best Ass in Town". The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars.
The next day, the paper read: "Nun Sells Ass For $10.00". After the bishop was revived, he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: "Nun Announces Her Ass Is Wild and Free".
The bishop was buried the next day.
