S
strain_searcher
Michael Jackson is straight.
S
strain_searcher
why did the fag cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.
Einsteinguy
Member
> Communicating w/co-workers
>
> It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
> throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
> normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from
> some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language = will no
> longer be tolerated
>
> We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately
> express your feelings when communicating with coworkers, therefore, a list
> of TRY SAYING new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of
ideas
> and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of
> offending our more sensitive employees
>
>
> Try Saying
>
> Instead of
>
>
> He's not familiar with the problem.
>
> He's got his head up his ass.
>
>
> I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
>
> Fuck it, I'm on salary.
>
>
> I love a challenge.
>
> This job sucks.
>
>
> You want me to take care of that?
>
> Who the hell died and made you boss?
>
>
> Yes, we really should discuss it.
>
> Another fucking meeting!!!!
>
>
> Perhaps I can work late.
>
> When the fuck do you expect me to do this?
>
>
> I'm certain that is not feasible
>
> No fucking way
>
>
> Really?
>
> You've got to be shitting me
>
>
> Perhaps you should check with ...
>
> Tell someone who gives a shit.
>
>
> Of course I'm concerned
>
> Ask me if I give a shit.
>
>
> I wasn't involved in that project.
>
> Its not my fucking problem
>
>
> That's interesting.
>
> What the fuck?!?!
>
>
> I'm not sure I can implement this
>
> Fuck it, it won't work.
>
>
> I'll try to schedule that.
>
> Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
>
>
> Are you sure this is a problem?
>
> Who the fuck cares?
>
>
> Excuse me sir?
>
> Eat shit and die motherfucker.
>
>
> So you weren't happy with it?
>
> Kiss my ass.
>
>
> I don't think you understand.
>
> Shove it up your ass.
>
>
> I see
>
> Blow me.
>
>
> I don't think this will be a problem.
>
> I really don't give a shit.
>
>
> He's somewhat insensitive.
>
> He's a fucking prick.
>
>
> She's an aggressive go getter.
>
> She's a ball busting bitch.
>
>
> I think you could use more training.
>
> You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Einstein
>
> It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
> throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
> normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from
> some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language = will no
> longer be tolerated
>
> We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately
> express your feelings when communicating with coworkers, therefore, a list
> of TRY SAYING new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of
ideas
> and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of
> offending our more sensitive employees
>
>
> Try Saying
>
> Instead of
>
>
> He's not familiar with the problem.
>
> He's got his head up his ass.
>
>
> I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
>
> Fuck it, I'm on salary.
>
>
> I love a challenge.
>
> This job sucks.
>
>
> You want me to take care of that?
>
> Who the hell died and made you boss?
>
>
> Yes, we really should discuss it.
>
> Another fucking meeting!!!!
>
>
> Perhaps I can work late.
>
> When the fuck do you expect me to do this?
>
>
> I'm certain that is not feasible
>
> No fucking way
>
>
> Really?
>
> You've got to be shitting me
>
>
> Perhaps you should check with ...
>
> Tell someone who gives a shit.
>
>
> Of course I'm concerned
>
> Ask me if I give a shit.
>
>
> I wasn't involved in that project.
>
> Its not my fucking problem
>
>
> That's interesting.
>
> What the fuck?!?!
>
>
> I'm not sure I can implement this
>
> Fuck it, it won't work.
>
>
> I'll try to schedule that.
>
> Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
>
>
> Are you sure this is a problem?
>
> Who the fuck cares?
>
>
> Excuse me sir?
>
> Eat shit and die motherfucker.
>
>
> So you weren't happy with it?
>
> Kiss my ass.
>
>
> I don't think you understand.
>
> Shove it up your ass.
>
>
> I see
>
> Blow me.
>
>
> I don't think this will be a problem.
>
> I really don't give a shit.
>
>
> He's somewhat insensitive.
>
> He's a fucking prick.
>
>
> She's an aggressive go getter.
>
> She's a ball busting bitch.
>
>
> I think you could use more training.
>
> You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Einstein
S
skeezo
makes me laff
makes me laff
...
makes me laff
...
2 gay irish guys moved in nextdoor they are named michael fitzpatrick
and patrick fitzmichael
and patrick fitzmichael
G
Guest
One day Little Sally got her "monthly bleeding" for the first time in her life. Having failed to understand what was going on and being really frightened, she decided to share her trouble with little Joey.
When she found Joey she told him what was happeing, but he didn't quite understand so she showed him what her problem was.
Joey's face got very serious and he said, "You know, I'm no doctor, but it looks like someone ripped your balls off!"
When she found Joey she told him what was happeing, but he didn't quite understand so she showed him what her problem was.
Joey's face got very serious and he said, "You know, I'm no doctor, but it looks like someone ripped your balls off!"
warning, any1 who is easily offended should not read this joke. U will have to scroll right down to see it coz then u got to make an effoert and make a specific decision to read ir...so dont blame me.
A little boy was in the bath with his gran!, when she got out he saw her private parts. "whats that between ur legs nana?" he asked, to which his gran replied
"Its my bunny rabbit" and the boy was satisfied.
A few days later he was in the bath with his mother, and when she got out, he saw her private parts" Is that ur bunny Rabbit between your legs?" and his mum said yes( a bit embarrassed though!) and the boy said" Nana's got one of thsoe, but its been run over and all its guts are hanging out!
A little boy was in the bath with his gran!, when she got out he saw her private parts. "whats that between ur legs nana?" he asked, to which his gran replied
"Its my bunny rabbit" and the boy was satisfied.
A few days later he was in the bath with his mother, and when she got out, he saw her private parts" Is that ur bunny Rabbit between your legs?" and his mum said yes( a bit embarrassed though!) and the boy said" Nana's got one of thsoe, but its been run over and all its guts are hanging out!
i thought this was funny
i thought this was funny
Carnation Milk
When opening a can of Carnation evaporated milk next time, just smile
> and think of this:
>
> A little old lady from Newfoundland had worked in and around her
> family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of
> hard work and little compensation.
>
> When canned Carnation milk became available in grocery stores in the
> 1940's she read an advertisement offering $5000 for the best slogan.
> The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation milk is best of
> all", she thought I know all about dairy farms. I can do this. She
> sent in her entry and about a week later a black limo drove up in
> front of her house.
>
> A man got out and said; "Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are
> here to award you $1000 even though we will not be able to use it.
>
> Here is her entry:
>
> Carnation milk is best of all,
> No tits to pull, no hay to haul.
> No buckets to wash, no shit to pitch,
> Just poke a hole in the son-of-a-bitch
i thought this was funny
Carnation Milk
When opening a can of Carnation evaporated milk next time, just smile
> and think of this:
>
> A little old lady from Newfoundland had worked in and around her
> family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of
> hard work and little compensation.
>
> When canned Carnation milk became available in grocery stores in the
> 1940's she read an advertisement offering $5000 for the best slogan.
> The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation milk is best of
> all", she thought I know all about dairy farms. I can do this. She
> sent in her entry and about a week later a black limo drove up in
> front of her house.
>
> A man got out and said; "Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are
> here to award you $1000 even though we will not be able to use it.
>
> Here is her entry:
>
> Carnation milk is best of all,
> No tits to pull, no hay to haul.
> No buckets to wash, no shit to pitch,
> Just poke a hole in the son-of-a-bitch
Guvnor
Active member
Only people from the U.K may get this joke:
Michael jackson last week was accussed of the rape of Victoria Beckham, his lawyers are confident he wont be found guilty due to his solid alibi at the time of the rape.
He claims to be in Brooklyn the whole time
Guvnor
Sorry to anyone who took offence to that joke
Michael jackson last week was accussed of the rape of Victoria Beckham, his lawyers are confident he wont be found guilty due to his solid alibi at the time of the rape.
He claims to be in Brooklyn the whole time
Guvnor
Sorry to anyone who took offence to that joke
A man walks into his favorite local bar and orders a beer. He notices a man at the end of the bar drinking a thick green concauction. "I'll have one of those, Sam" the man says. "Ok but only 1" he replys passing the drink to him. The man drinks it down amazed by how wonderful it is. "That is great, hit me again Sam". "Nope, only 1 you will get way to wasted." "What? Are you saying i can't hold my fucking alcohol? Give me another drink." He downs a second, followed by a third and then heads out of the bar. The man returns 2 weeks later, " I'll have a beer Sam". "Hey, haven't seen you in awhile" replies Sam "Yeah I was so messed up when i left here last time." "I know" replied Sam. "No you don't" says the man. "I blew Chunks." " I told you only one drink or you would get sick." the bartender replies. " No you don't understand Chunks is my dog."
G
Guest
you know how after someone famous dies all the bad stuff that person has ever done comes to light?
well apparantly some bad info on the late Pope has come to light...It appears while still a priest back in Poland he got a nun pregnant.
In his defense tho, it was not his fault. The nun had no business being dressed as an alterboy.
apologies to all persons of catholic faith.
well apparantly some bad info on the late Pope has come to light...It appears while still a priest back in Poland he got a nun pregnant.
In his defense tho, it was not his fault. The nun had no business being dressed as an alterboy.
apologies to all persons of catholic faith.
usawontstopme
Member
pope must have been more nervous than a catholic priest at a little league baseball game!!
usawontstopme
Member
i got a joke Bush is president
hahahahahahahahahahaha good one gamera
