How can you tell if your a stoner...

[bitchhitsbongs]

You know your a stoner when you buy a T-shirt with YOU KNOW YOUR A STONER WHEN...


~every story you tell begins with, "We were really high and..."

~someone asks for a dime and you tell them you're out of herb.

~your video collection consists of endless Cheech and Chong movies.

~you clean out your car and smoke the shake you found on your car mats.

~your breakfast is a spliff, OJ, and a bowl packed with Fruity Pebbles.

~you eat everything in the kitchen but Spam... then you eat the Spam.

~every vacation you wind up in Amsterdam or Jamaica.

~you're known as "Smokey" to your friends.

~you want to have kids named Herb, Bud and MaryJane.

~someone finds a roach in your room and it's not a bad thing.

~you hang out with people you don't like, just cause they got buds.

~if your life was made into a movie, it would be called "Waiting to Inhale."

~all you want to do is drink & smoke & eat & smoke & chill & smoke...

~you think everyone is staring at you when nobody is around.

~your best friend just happens to be your dealer.

~your bumper sticker reads "Honk for Hemp."

~your bong becomes an extension of your arm.

~the High Times centerfold turns you on.

~your alarm is set for 4:20 a.m. and p.m.

~you wake and bake.

 

[Purplestuffed]

"You know you are a stoner when you have a Costco card for snacks only......................."

 

[aholex]

when you hold the bowl for the next person until you notice its your dog....and then say" i bet if she had thumbs, sheld hit it!"

 

[Logos]

You know you are smoking too much when you get lost going home, and you are in your own neighborhood.

 

[Logos]

Another: You know you're smoking too much when it is too much trouble to clean your pipe so that you can smoke some more.

 

[kmk420kali]

If you have ever...used a Zig-Zag as a Post-It Note...you might be a stoner--
If you have more than 3 pictures of Tommy Chong on your walls at home....you might be a stone--
If you have your local Head Shop on speed dial....you might be a Stoner--
If your local Head Shop has YOU, on their speed dial....you might be a stoner--

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you're a stoner when.......
You can't remember the last time you actually put a sandwich in a baggie.

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you're a stoner when.......
you realize the best photo album you ever kept is right
here @ ICMag.com in your gallery

 

[Stoner4Life]

YOU MIGHT BE A STONER IF.......
IF THE ZIG-ZAG MAN HAS A TATTOO OF YOU ON HIS ARM.

 

[oil beef hooked]

You know your a stoner when you brush something of your shoulder and find its the carpet.

 

[NZjay]

you know you're on a stoner website when most cant spell "you're". lol

 

[dignityx]

You know you're a stoner when you search for your glasses everywhere in the house for ½ an hour, and then finally find them - on your nose ....

 

[panopticist]

You know you're a stoner if you forgotten that hash also refers to a food item...

Person: "I'm making hash this evening."
Me: "Sweet, are you going to dry sieve or use ice to extract it?"
Person: "What are you talking about?"

 

[Big Brother]

What makes u a stoner

What makes u a stoner

How can you tell if you are a stoner, well firsty if you grow almost year around, and if you grow both inside and outside, and your personaly library contains more than one grow book, if you were stoned watching a rocky horror picture show and if were ever stoned at a GreatFull Dead Concert.

 

[SmokeMan]

you can tell when you always have cotton mouth and dry lips.

Dam I need something to drink and where the fuk is my chapstick!!

 

[Don Cotyle]

You know your a stoner when you know the opposite is wrong,and this makes sence to you...Only users lose drugs

When your Lady sends you to the store for bread and milk and you come back with $20 worth of munchies and forgot to get the bread and milk.

When smoke will get you thru times of no money better than money wll get you thru times of no smoke!!!

 

[DoobieDuck]

Just a little tid bit I posted in the stoner moments thread..true life
This DoobieDuck was fixin the bathroom sink...not stoned. Laying on my back, wedged within the sink cabinet, arms out stretched many inches further than they are capable of...I began to carefully remove the sink trap from under the sink...armed with giant tools of terror, huge pipe wrenches, a sawsall..some channel lock pliers...I turned and twisted, wrenched and wristed, pulled and cussed, yanked and wd 40 misstid...and finally...movement..the piece was free. Just part one...now.. being the trap is full of gunk, water, hair, and who knows what...I tried very hard to keep it level as to not spill any of this excrement and get it out to the world it hasn't seen in, I think, centuries. Plus I had just cleaned the entire area that it was leaking on to a spotless condition. Moving it very slowly...precisely balanced, from under the cabinet, I moved it like it was an 5000 year old antique porcelain vase with the original wine still in it....so far with the utmost precision of a skilled plummer..a brain surgeon. Up in the air I hoisted it as I leaned my body forward at the same time...like some sort of new Yoga pose. Not a drop has dripped from within the vessel! I then hovered it over the sink for a split second...you know..like the Jetsons flying saucers did effortlessly.. but this was, for this disabled duck, a gut wrenching, bending, and twisting of my body into positions even my doctor advises against. Then in one swift, precise, coreo-graphed motion..I dumped the entire contents down the drain...one problem suddenly arose....I had just removed that device from the drain thus...the entire contents of the trap then rushed from the sink, out the pipe, in my face...on the floor...needless to say, all over my wife’s goodies I had so nicely and previously cleaned and stacked there. I don't think I would have ever made this error stoned...but who's to say...I have no more to say.....DD

 

[Gobwats]

Just a little tid bit I posted in the stoner moments thread..true life
This DoobieDuck was fixin the bathroom sink...not stoned. Laying on my back, wedged within the sink cabinet, arms out stretched many inches further than they are capable of...I began to carefully remove the sink trap from under the sink...armed with giant tools of terror, huge pipe wrenches, a sawsall..some channel lock pliers...I turned and twisted, wrenched and wristed, pulled and cussed, yanked and wd 40 misstid...and finally...movement..the piece was free. Just part one...now.. being the trap is full of gunk, water, hair, and who knows what...I tried very hard to keep it level as to not spill any of this excrement and get it out to the world it hasn't seen in, I think, centuries. Plus I had just cleaned the entire area that it was leaking on to a spotless condition. Moving it very slowly...precisely balanced, from under the cabinet, I moved it like it was an 5000 year old antique porcelain vase with the original wine still in it....so far with the utmost precision of a skilled plummer..a brain surgeon. Up in the air I hoisted it as I leaned my body forward at the same time...like some sort of new Yoga pose. Not a drop has dripped from within the vessel! I then hovered it over the sink for a split second...you know..like the Jetsons flying saucers did effortlessly.. but this was, for this disabled duck, a gut wrenching, bending, and twisting of my body into positions even my doctor advises against. Then in one swift, precise, coreo-graphed motion..I dumped the entire contents down the drain...one problem suddenly arose....I had just removed that device from the drain thus...the entire contents of the trap then rushed from the sink, out the pipe, in my face...on the floor...needless to say, all over my wife’s goodies I had so nicely and previously cleaned and stacked there. I don't think I would have ever made this error stoned...but who's to say...I have no more to say.....DD

I somehow had a feeling how that story was going to end, hope you were able to get the gunk cleaned up without the wifey getting too upset with you. Had you been stoned at least you could have laughed at yourself after you did it (been there, done similar things.) Used to work with a guy that absolutely could not function unless he was stoned. I talked to him one day about running the saws as stoned as he was, so he showed up straight the next morning...at lunch time I gave him a joint and told him to go smoke it as he worked a helluva lot safer stoned, lol.

 

[Botanist]

when you forget your stoned.

 

[damitrius777]

ooops wrong thread