? for growers with young kids?

[OrganicOzarks]

I would say by 3 or 4 they can tell an adult, and the adult would be able to understand what they are actually talking about. I will say every kid is different. Some you just know that they can't keep a secret, and others can. I do not believe the #1 rule applies to all children.

I don't want to get into personal details, but I will say honesty goes a long, long, way. You will be amazed at what it will do for you. Also I second the homeschooling option.

If you happen to live in one of those special places in America that is known for growing then your kids will probably grow up different than then other kids anyway. So don't put to much over thought into anything.

I can say this, the irony of honesty is that most kids will rebel against you and not want to smoke. Ain't psychology a motherfucker.

 

[softyellowlight]

If you think you can hide anything from kids you are seriously deluding yourself, whether or not they 'talk' is another matter.

I personally wouldn't put the weight of having to lie on any kid,if questioned directly, even though it's none of anybody's fucking business.

But, this is your kid you're talking about.

This is silly. Padlock a stealthy cabinet, put it in your walk-in closet, put a real lock on your bedroom or closet door. You can definitely hide quite a bit from people you live with if you take proper caution.

 

[VerdantGreen]

One word....

Homeschooling.

i think that unless you are a teacher with a lot of time on your hands, you would be doing your kids a vast disservice by homeschooling them, and even if you were qualified to do so, they would miss all the other things you learn at school like how to get on and communicate with other people. the vast majority of people ive met that were homeschooled has issues and related to others badly.
furthermore, in the Uk at least, you get inspected and checked up on regularly if you opt to homeschool your kids

The biggest issues I see are those that come from hiding it... You basically teach your kids it's ok to lie and hide things. Trust me... they know "Something" is going on and that's enough to blow it for them.

i think they will understand why it was best to hide it from them. i dont even lie to my kids about father christmas, never have.


VG

 

[Luv-U-Long-Time]

This is silly. Padlock a stealthy cabinet, put it in your walk-in closet, put a real lock on your bedroom or closet door. You can definitely hide quite a bit from people you live with if you take proper caution.

That may work for you,but the guy who grows to feed his family,who actually has children,understands exactly what I'm talking about.Understandably, not everyone has the means to move grows offsite,but not understanding what the effects of having a grow in a home where children live is just selfish justification.

 

[dubwise]

This is a great discussion, lots of good points for it and against it.

 

[skullznroses]

You know, I think that Stealth Shadow has a good point, even if he comes off poorly in saying it. Theres no need to be a dick, when its easy to take higher ground when you don't have kids.

The reality check that you don't want to hear is that you ARE being majorly selfish to grow with kids around, cause they are innocent and even harmless crime effects children in a major way. Its okay to admit personal/selfish motives, and get over it, but its not alright to chalk the idea up to an asshole and move on.

I don't have kids, but you know what if I did, I wouldn't let them stop me from doing what I feel is right. The truth is that you are following the old school example of "do as I say not as I do" not letting your true actions speak for themselves. Someday they will understand that it was done in all kindness and security, but for now they are growing up being lied to. Kids do know when their parents conceal stuff from them, and if thats your style then so be it. Just remember the bigger the fence you build around something the more people will want to know whats inside.

(sorry for the soapbox)

 

[pinecone]

The reality check that you don't want to hear is that you ARE being majorly selfish to grow with kids around, cause they are innocent and even harmless crime effects children in a major way. Its okay to admit personal/selfish motives, and get over it, but its not alright to chalk the idea up to an asshole and move on.

Maybe this is self serving, but I would make a distinction between parents that run a grow-op out of their home and parents that grow a few plants for personal consumption in a closet somewhere. The former is hard to keep hidden and is far more likely to involve money, unsavory characters, harmful chemicals, a bust, and the associated risk of jail time and/or having the children removed from the house.

Pine

 

[VerdantGreen]

....

The reality check that you don't want to hear is that you ARE being majorly selfish to grow with kids around, cause they are innocent and even harmless crime effects children in a major way. Its okay to admit personal/selfish motives, and get over it, but its not alright to chalk the idea up to an asshole and move on.

I don't have kids, but you know what if I did, I wouldn't let them stop me from doing what I feel is right. The truth is that you are following the old school example of "do as I say not as I do" not letting your true actions speak for themselves. Someday they will understand that it was done in all kindness and security, but for now they are growing up being lied to. Kids do know when their parents conceal stuff from them, and if thats your style then so be it. Just remember the bigger the fence you build around something the more people will want to know whats inside.

(sorry for the soapbox)

it is being selfish, but bringing up kids isnt just about one thing or issue, and doing a good job of it isnt either.
i dont really see it as lying if they know nothing and you take care to not make it suspicious, it is possible or has been for me so far. my kids are both bright as a button and would grill me about anything they suspected so i know they dont.
what kids want and need most is your time, really guys if you havent got kids then saying what you would or wouldnt do, or judging other parents is totally meaningless. you cannot put yourself in our position, you dont know.

VG

 

[blazeoneup]

I kept my kids out of the loop, I kept my grows behind locked doors and I do all my smoking on the second story of my home. My kids are not allowed on the second story to prevent them from being exposed to any second hand smoke from my habbit. I've always kept the smell down in the grow and made sure the smell doesn't linger through the house. I had no issue's keeping them from knowing what was going on. They never seemed suspicious or anything and I do think I done well keeping them out of the loop.

However I ended up being raided by the swat team and arrested. When I got out of jail the kids had a lot of questions for me. So this brings me to another point. When you keep your kids out of the loop be prepared to explain to them what happened if the time ever arrives that you have to face the long arm of the law. They will ask questions and if/when that time comes your gonna have to make up a lie or tell them the truth. I chose to lie my way out of it and not explain the truth to them because they are still young. I just don't wanna expose them to it this early in life.

I was hit with a lot of questions from my oldest. Questions like "Daddy why did you go to jail" or "Daddy why did the cops take our computers and camera's" "Daddy why do they think your a bad guy" "Daddy did you do something bad". It sucks having to lie to your children I do not like lying to my kids but I don't wanna tell them before they are old enough and mature enough to understand the situation in full. I know it sucked going through that whole situation.

Which brings me to another point. I feel like a piece of crap knowing my kids had to go through all that because of my doings. However I feel like what I done never had any effect on them prior to the cops bursting in pulling their guns and exposing them to a rather violent situation.

I don't know how other states laws are but I know I never had any issue's with my children other than them having to watch daddy have guns put to his head and get arrested. I wasn't charged with child endangerment, I never got a visit from child protective services, and they let my woman and kids leave the house after they secured the scene and questioned my women they allowed her to leave with the kids.

To the cops benefit they did tell my kids as they were leaving that daddy was gonna be fine and not to worry. However they wouldn't let me say goodbye I was in the back bedroom only able to hear them talking to my children. My kids had to watch daddy get pushed down to the ground with a gun to my head and a swat officer putting his foot on my head and handcuffing me with zip ties.

I regret my kids having to be exposed to that whole situation. I think that was worse then anything I've ever exposed them to myself. I just made up a story to keep the kids from knowing why they raided the house. I'm just not ready to set them down and have that chat yet. I'd rather let it go I keep them occupied with hobbies of their own so I think it's best to let them just forget that it happened.

If you keep your kids away from it, keep your grows behind locked doors and the smell down you have no real worries of them ever telling anyone. I think it's best to keep them from being exposed to it. I mean once they are older I may see things differently but I don't see any reason to tell or expose young children to marijuana.

Prior to getting busted my biggest worry wasn't losing possessions or being busted in general. My biggest worry was what would happen to my children if I were to be busted, I would not know how to live with myself if I were to lose custody of my children over growing a plant.

I know now as long as you handle your grow properly and keep you stash put away and your house isn't a dirty pig pin you don't really have to worry about any issue's with your children. Just because you have a grow and you smoke marijuana doesn't mean your not capable of taking care of your children and providing them a safe environment.

 

[Luv-U-Long-Time]

Maybe this is self serving, but I would make a distinction between parents that run a grow-op out of their home and parents that grow a few plants for personal consumption in a closet somewhere. The former is hard to keep hidden and is far more likely to involve money, unsavory characters, harmful chemicals, a bust, and the associated risk of jail time and/or having the children removed from the house.

Pine

I suppose I would tend to agree with you on most,if not all,of your points,If I didn't live to the contrary of the stereotype.I guess we should preface the conversation with this:There is a right and a wrong way to go about everything.With that being said,I do feel some kind of way about having an OP,no matter how tight my game(sorry to go Hood) in the house with kids.I employ the honesty is the best policy with children in pre/teen years.Talk about a dichotomy.Tough spot.

 

[blazeoneup]

I suppose I would tend to agree with you on most,if not all,of your points,If I didn't live to the contrary of the stereotype.I guess we should preface the conversation with this:There is a right and a wrong way to go about everything.With that being said,I do feel some kind of way about having an OP,no matter how tight my game(sorry to go Hood) in the house with kids.I employ the honesty is the best policy with children in pre/teen years.Talk about a dichotomy.Tough spot.

I can understand the whole having a grow in the home with children isn't the best thing to do, but I do believe a parent can have their own hobbies and personal private life and they can do it without effecting their children.

I mean we all have sex with our women usually multiple times a week and we do this silently without our kids knowing. We do it while their asleep or away at school etc etc. Do you tell your children all the naughty things you do to mommy when their watchful eyes are resting at night? I mean why not be honest with them so they know exactly who you are right?

To those who grow outside the home their children live in and talk about being honest with them. Do you tell you kids about your grow house take them with you to tend to the gardens? Do you puff openly in front of them and expose them to second hand smoke? If not, It sounds hypocritical to me. I personally believe what you do in your personal time and life is fine and your kids do not need to be exposed to it or even know about it. Having kid's is a good thing, loving them, protecting them, taking care of them is what they need. Just because they don't know every little thing you do doesn't mean your not doing your job as a parent. Just because you have a grow in your home doesn't make you a bad parent or hiding that from your kids isn't a bad thing either.

Do your job as a parent, love your children, take care of them, and enjoy your life. Parents have the right to some privacy it's really that simple.

I know what I am saying sounds somewhat hypocritical in the sense that I did grow in my own home and I was busted and my kids did have to go through that horrible raid. I know if I never grew at my home they wouldn't have ever been exposed to that however I feel like my being raided was unjust and a complete disregard to my rights as a civil human being. That raid was the only exposure my kids ever got to anything related to my hobby and habit. If it were not for these unjust laws they wouldn't have been exposed to it.

Finally I just believe we should be able to have our own private lives and our kids do not need to be exposed to it, and just because we have some secrets doesn't make us any less of a parent.

 

[Luv-U-Long-Time]

I understand what you're saying,blaze1.I guess I should have also stated that this is my own personal moral dilemma and in no way judge what decisions others may make in the same spot.Each situation must fit the individual I suppose. While I do not have any qualms with laying my own liberty on the line,I can't gamble with that of my children's. Hence my juxtaposed stance,which may seem hypocritical.

 

[jonnybgood29]

well said blaze, if i had some place else to grow, it would not be at my house. unfortunately i cannot afford someplace else to grow for personal medications, and if the laws werent the way they are, it wouldnt cost 120-150 for mediocre medication which there is no way that i can afford. i cannot even afford to by most of the genetics that i have been fortunate to have donated to me by friends and companies that i do test grows for.... shit, one friend is even sending me his used bulb, since i cannot even afford to replace mine right now. of course, i could always do without my medication and allow my kids to see me suffer from blinding migrains and back pain that is crippling, and depression that would make most people resort to drastic measure, or i could take medication prescribed by doctors that would have me numb and out of my mind and not even know that i have children... or i coan grow my meds for my personal use and be a functioning part of society that is not a legal drug addict.

i keep my children in the dark so they do not have to worry that they put daddy in jail because he said something to the wrong person, or make them lie for daddy. what they dont know can harm them iff daddy is a stupid ass and doesnt keep shit in the dark where it belongs. as blaze said. it my personal business and everyone else that doesnt neeeeed to know isnt going to!

 

[jonnybgood29]

sorry for the rant, i just get upset when people get on their pedistal and preach that their way is the only way that matters, did not mean to offend anybody, just make my views a little more clear.

 

[FlaDankster]

My kids are out of the loop......but they are not dumb.They don't see any thing pertaining to my garden and we don't out right smoke in front of them.Not sayin one hasn't snuck up on mom and dad burnin down in the back yard or any thing either.

Not gonna get all into details an chit but.....

my oldest has been around a garden since she was born,she knows what the scoop is and is any thing but naive.

I want my kids to question authority just like me when time comes to do so,isn't what we all do buy growin an smokin?.......how else is this chit hole of a planet gonna have some change.

I feel that keeping my kids out of the loop because of the law is what is wrong,not that i grow.

 

[Luv-U-Long-Time]

well said blaze, if i had some place else to grow, it would not be at my house. unfortunately i cannot afford someplace else to grow for personal medications, and if the laws werent the way they are, it wouldnt cost 120-150 for mediocre medication which there is no way that i can afford. i cannot even afford to by most of the genetics that i have been fortunate to have donated to me by friends and companies that i do test grows for.... shit, one friend is even sending me his used bulb, since i cannot even afford to replace mine right now. of course, i could always do without my medication and allow my kids to see me suffer from blinding migrains and back pain that is crippling, and depression that would make most people resort to drastic measure, or i could take medication prescribed by doctors that would have me numb and out of my mind and not even know that i have children... or i coan grow my meds for my personal use and be a functioning part of society that is not a legal drug addict.

i keep my children in the dark so they do not have to worry that they put daddy in jail because he said something to the wrong person, or make them lie for daddy. what they dont know can harm them iff daddy is a stupid ass and doesnt keep shit in the dark where it belongs. as blaze said. it my personal business and everyone else that doesnt neeeeed to know isnt going to!

I don't think anyone was up in arms over a medicine chest with a lightbulb in it, my point was more to my own personal situation w/multiple K's running.Also was referring more to the legality and potential harm that a 'under the prison' state like mine would do to me and mine.

Well paying jobs are hard to come by, you do what you have to until you can do it right.Which is my intention.I'd hardly take this stance if I was running a micro grow.

Having sex with my old lady might cost me, but it doesn't land me in prison for hiding it from my kids.Especially smart ones.

 

[Weird]

i left a healthy 6 figure career to raise them at the ages of 2 & 5 when their mother had a mental breakdown, i raised them solo for 5 years before we reconciled

i was diagnosed with manic depression so bad at the age of 15 that after a year inpatient my prognosis was death or permanent institutionalization

i spent a decade sober trying it their way, American pharmacology and psychology

my father committed suicide after taking paxil for depression, my aunts first words after i showed up as his body was being wheeled away, did you hide the pills (wanted to save my uncles med license)

2 of my first cousins on my dads side also committed suicide as well as my great uncle


its really tip of the ice berg shit really compared to the big picture of my life but
my kids are both honor students and well received socially and academically, received high accolades like class presidency and principles awards as well as get me compliments like "you have great kids" from other parents

does it make me a shitty parent or a selfish parent because I make the choices I do?

i dont know, if you ask me it makes the casual observer and critic a shitty judge

i could go into a discourse of right and wrong regarding the subject it is not as subjective as you would think and there is a definitive cause and effect, right and wrong in child rearing and marijuana is not a catalyst to bad parenting

can its use and cultivation be consider a bad decision on some scenarios? perhaps

has it ruined more childhoods than Budweiser?

no and i have testimony on that one as well

my mother was a raging drunk, guess its all good as long as its legal

 

[Brother Bear]

I want my kids to question authority just like me when time comes to do so,isn't what we all do buy growin an smokin?.......how else is this chit hole of a planet gonna have some change.

I feel that keeping my kids out of the loop because of the law is what is wrong,not that i grow.

 

[vintner]

Great thread. IMHO Kids of any age should have no knowledge of what you do. & before they're of an age to snoop around & find your grow, it needs to be moved. Childeren are easily coerced which makes them untrustworthy. The cops frequently came into my 7 year old nephews school to preach to them about how drugs are bad & illegal (including smoking and drinking) & to ask them if Mom or Dad does drugs or grows drugs or makes drugs in their home. LEO showed him pictures of plants & pipes & syringes... No, it's best to stay safe, & stay w/your kids so you can show them how ignorant LEO really is.

 

[jonnybgood29]

actually luv, my rant was not really directed toward you. you made simple points that were not meant to inflame, rather to show your point of view. also if you look at my grows, they are not micro, but definately not commercial either. i grow for me and my wife, which also has pain management issues and severe migrains that are not touched by the most severe meds. if i was caught with what i grow, it would mean 5-10 in jail which is absolutely insane, but it is still better than taking food from my childrens mouths to pay for substandard chemically sprayed, crap that circulates my area, that can actually make matters worse.

my rant was directed toward a couple of intentionally unmentioned persons that decided to respond to a question that was not directed towards them( no chilren) and get on there soap box telling me that i am selfish to grow when i would have to deal with some unsavory people that could rob me, or kill me for my money, sell me spme that is laced with rat poison to beef it up, spryed with who knows what, or just be a cop and bust me anyway. in my eyes, these people are the ones that are selfish by putting us down instead of trying to change the system that makes this conversation necessary in the first place.


and i also do not look down on the larger grower, but if i was doing a commercial grow that was netting money, than yes part of that money would be spent on getting a place to do a remote grow! sorry if you thought i was directing any of my anger towards you luv