What did she do this time?

[Conrad Shepard]

weird ass shit man, weird ass shit...

So, what are the other things she's beeen doing, the kids told you about? Sorry, damn we're nosy, hehe but hey, your anonymous anyways right?

And, was your current GF with you the whole time, while the ex was there?

 

[Ronley]

I thought it was going to be something a lot more serious then unwanted pregnancies. Like while she was drawing blood from a pacient who has HIV or some other infectious disease she accidently stabbed herself or someone else.

 

[stealthballer]

To address some of the questions

daughter just turned 5 on the 19th, son will be 4 in july

The kids old nanny told me my ex broke the lease on her house and told the nanny she has 2 weeks to pack and get out. Nanny was a friend of both of is for about 5-6 years, was a friend before the kids.

I pushed hard for her to be brought into the house, so someone familiar and someone I knew would be good to the kids would be in their lives, since I can't be.

Nanny says the guy ex was dating was very very verbally abusive to the ex and had an out of control temper. Ex knew guy since august, broke lease moved in with him in january.

Apparently everyone that is close to her told her to get out of the relationship.

My kids told me "jim" was no longer their daddy and that he was mean.

They called me by my first name the entire time here and really didn't know me from adam.

This makes 5 daddies for the kids is as many years, I tried to fight once, and I can't keep up with the finances, her parents backed her up and paid for her legal expenses while I paid for a crappy lawyer out of the phonebook.


Kids stayed with me and with my folks, as did the ex, she never offered any explanations for anything, acted like it was normal that all this happened.

Honestly this whole thing has fucked my head up something terrible.

my current chick wasn't around, she lives in the city and I live about an hour out so we don't see each other as often as we prolly should.

I really wanted her to get to meet the kids too, Oh well, at least my folks got some time with them.

later guys

 

[Mt Toaker]

You should really talk to her about having her kids understand that you are their father even though you do not get to see them very often. The fact that they have had FIVE "Dads" already could seriously mess them up in the head and I'm sure isn't healthy for them. I'm no shrink but I feel like this could be a commonsense thing, you have one father and one mother and they should be treated so. I have a step mother and I love her dearly but she is still not my mom, no one else ever could be.

Also from what I understand from this thread she doesn't seem like the most stable person, she could be a great mother I don't know but from what I am seeing they could be better off with you. If you are in the right situation have you considered trying to have the kids instead of her? I hope I'm no sticking my nose too far into your business but coming from a broken home I know how important it is to be with a parent who is going to be more stable and a better role model than just being with mommy. . . .

 

[stealthballer]

You should really talk to her about having her kids understand that you are their father even though you do not get to see them very often. The fact that they have had FIVE "Dads" already could seriously mess them up in the head and I'm sure isn't healthy for them. I'm no shrink but I feel like this could be a commonsense thing, you have one father and one mother and they should be treated so. I have a step mother and I love her dearly but she is still not my mom, no one else ever could be.

Also from what I understand from this thread she doesn't seem like the most stable person, she could be a great mother I don't know but from what I am seeing they could be better off with you. If you are in the right situation have you considered trying to have the kids instead of her? I hope I'm no sticking my nose too far into your business but coming from a broken home I know how important it is to be with a parent who is going to be more stable and a better role model than just being with mommy. . . .

I am far more stable, I don't go from relationship to relationship and I have lived at a total of 4 addresses since I was born. She makes more money than I do, and from an income standpoint is more stable than me. My income varies from week to week, so thats pretty much the knock on me.

I can't change anything I would have to go to her state and fight for them now, I can't afford it, won't be able to for a couple years I imagine.

I wished she had been here longer I was going to suggest the kids could summer with me, she could come and go as she pleased.

In july both the kids knew I was dad and understood what had happened.
My daughter called me mean more than once this trip, she was my little angel before. Total daddy's girl, now my son likes me more than she does.

Meh well, whined enough, life is life, and it is what we make it. I can't let this get me down because it will effect my being prepared later in life.

 

[ItsGrowTime]

Sounds like she should just have an abortion and move on from angry pot dealing ex-bf. Not a huge deal unless she's a die hard pro-lifer.

 

[JJScorpio]

There are a lot of things here that bother me.

First of all, the only things you discuss with the kids, unless they are being abused, is that mommy is a good person and loves the kids very much. This discussing 5 daddys came from an adult if the kids said it. Neither of them are old enough to be remembering that.

Next, if what the "nanny" is saying is true, why didn't she make a call to either you or child protective services and get those kids out of that environment? She seems like she wants to talk now, but it doesn't seem like she really gave two craps when this was happening.

If what you're saying is true, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. You're ex and kids are getting kicked out of their home and as of now have no where to go? That would scare the hell out of me. That means she's going to have to take whatever housing she can find, and that will include what ever environment goes along with it. Didn't you bother to tell her that maybe the kids could stay with you until she was situated? I would have explained to her what I had bveen told, and that if she didn't temporarily leave them with you then you had no choice but to call preventitive services to not only watch the kids but to help her find housing and to get her some help if she needed it. I would let her know that I wasn't doing it to hurt her, but to help her. I'd also make the call in the form of asking for help for her, and not to punish her.

The key here is the kids and making sure they are settled in a descent place when they are safe. If you're unsure what to do and finances are tough, don't be afraid to ask for help......

 

[Babbabud]

Well I would exhaust as many other avenues as possble before calling CPS. Once those ppl get in your life I think you might have a very hard time getting them out. First and foremost the kids have to be safe. But bringing the government into your space should be considered carefully. I understand your point JJ and the kids are what matters..... but I would use all other avenues first.
I dont think they dont "have anywhere at all to go" I mean after all her parents help pay her lawyer bills.

 

[z0ngsong]

fuck 20 minutes down the drain...

 

[JJScorpio]

Well I would exhaust as many other avenues as possble before calling CPS. Once those ppl get in your life I think you might have a very hard time getting them out. First and foremost the kids have to be safe. But bringing the government into your space should be considered carefully. I understand your point JJ and the kids are what matters..... but I would use all other avenues first.
I dont think they dont "have anywhere at all to go" I mean after all her parents help pay her lawyer bills.

I said the wrong thing at the end of my last post. Thx for pointing it out.

What I meant to say is if they need help most states have a preventitive unit to help families that are without a home or might need a little guidance.

It appears the ex has gotten herself into a bind and you need to be their for support and not to criticize or use this as a time to get even like some people do.

My ex always spent a lot of time talking about me to my children. I swore I would never play that game and bit my lip for many years. Now the kids are in their teens they have both told me how glad they were that I never talked badly about their mother. They both have said it was hard on them listening to that. Kids don't want to be involved in that.

If you take the high road now and when the kids get older they will look up to you for it. Just let them know that you're there to help if they need it

 

[stealthballer]

This was more of a power play on her part than her not truly having anywhere else.

 

[tokinjoe]

Dude I'm speechless.....Almost.....My concern here pretty much echoes everyone elses. The kids. As the mother of your children, if she is running guys in and out and after FIVE, she can't get one to stay more than what, a year?? Definitely some problems there. I believe in role models for kids and if I may say your wife is hardly a role model.

My guess is your daughter said you are mean because she has rules at your house and doesn't at mom's? This whole deal is all jacked up and the worst part is the kids have no choice other than to ride along this roller coaster of a life their mother is providing....Dude, legal representation or not, I find it hard to believe that if you provide a stable home, you have a hell of a chance of getting your kids. Seems like there is no structure or stability in their life whatsoever. I don't know your challenges as you did mention your income varies but either way if you can do it, it's worth it. Sorry I butted in here. Just my .02. I wish you the best my friend.

 

[.♠.]

Are their lawyers or firms that would do this for a reduced fee, or for free? I have no idea, but it is worth looking into.

Also, as long as you are a worker you could apply for a loan to help handle leagal fees.

The only way to trully know your children are safe is if they are with you.

Peace

 

[HerbGlaze]

CPS.. ive had to deal with them once.
Hahaha my son ran his mouth once (Teacher overheard) saying I let him smoke pot and once they questioned me and did a backround check on his medical files everything was good.. jesus.. i HATE it when people dont go through the steps and just jump to a conspiracy.. lol.

 

[Mr Celsius]

Sorry to hear about the bitch, fuck stupid ho's. That sucks that your kids will learn from one... bitchs will be bitchs.

Just build up your assets and play the same game she did.

 

[Youareborg]

Sounds like she should just have an abortion and move on from angry pot dealing ex-bf. Not a huge deal unless she's a die hard pro-lifer.

Hey, depending on your personal beliefs, if she followed this advice (not that she's reading this stuff of course) she would end up being a "murderer" like so many people were guessing at the start of this thread.

I'm sorry if this offended anyone. I have a somewhat twisted sense of humor on occasion.

But seriously, Stealth, You've got to figure out a way to do what's best for your kids and find a way to start working towards that ASAP... all this bullshit about her having the kids call her boyfriends "dad" or whatever is not right at all, not to mention completely disrespectful to you. From this and a few other things you have said, the only logical conclusion we can come to is she has VERY poor judgment, and that points to other problems existing that we have no way to know about... If I were you that would scare the hell out of me... I hope with all my heart that this gets worked out soon.

Good luck.

 

[tokinjoe]

One has to wonder what she would think about the kids calling his girlfriend "mom". I'm not bashing women here, but I've seen this time and time again. She can't hardly wait to put the "new man" in front of her kids. He's a GREAT guy, etc etc etc. A short while later they are calling him daddy while the real "daddy" watches from afar as she dumps this "great guy" for another "great guy" and now puts HIM in front of the kids ASAP. Few months later there's another GREAT guy. 10-15 great guys later the kids are all screwed up, and unless she's living with the guy(s) there isn't a damn thing good ole dad can do about it.

Try having them call your girlfriend mom...Wanna see World War III ?? Amazing the hypocracy.....Too bad there isn't a psycopath test....All is going well, all of a sudden one day, up jumps the fucking CRAZY and it's on.....Outta nowhere....I'm convinced when dating we all put on our best face in the beginning. Kinda like you aren't dating each other, you are dating each others "representative". Once that's over you get what you get, and got whatcha got. Too bad most peeps can't just sit down and work out divorce details, custody, etc. We have to involve attorneys and judges, etc. Good luck bro.