Weird - Wacky - Funny News

[Capt.Ahab]

Giant python attacks Indonesian man before being eaten:

Pekanbaru (Indonesia) (AFP) – A giant python attacked an Indonesian man, nearly severing his arm, before hungry villagers chopped up the reptile and ate it, a police chief said Wednesday.

Security guard Robert Nababan crossed paths with the giant creature while patrolling an oil palm plantation in the remote Batang Gansal subdistrict of Sumatra island on Saturday.

“The python was 7.8 metres long (25.6 feet), it was unbelievably huge,”....

https://www.breitbart.com/news/giant-python-attacks-indonesian-man-before-being-eaten/

 

[ozzieAI]

IS THIS the most north Queensland thing you have ever seen?
A quiet lunch at a restaurant in Mackay’s CBD quickly turned into an episode of the Crocodile Hunter, when one man channelled his inner Steve Irwin to return a stray snake to the wild, after it slithered into Lone Star Rib House.

Mason and Katrina Garland were just about to head to the airport to finish their four-day trip visiting their father Scott.
Little did they know their quiet lunch, turned into more than just a plate of ribs.
When they got up to pay for their meals, they were interrupted by a snake that was hugging the entrance of the restaurant.

“I thought it was a toy snake (at first) I walked past it twice,” joked Scott.
Owner of the restaurant Rakesh Yadav contemplated calling the police or a snake catcher, before Mason, who is up visiting from Cobar in central western New South Wales, decided to step up.
He said he sees a lot of snakes down there, but he wouldn’t touch them like he did today.
Despite looking like he had been a snake catcher all his life, that was his first time.

“At one stage I did (think it was going to turn and bite me), and I panicked, but yeah it was all right,” he said.

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/re...s-story/111e57a1c7df9cb830d7153df7879b2a#null

 

[ozzieAI]

A REAL estate agent has found a new home for a shark after she wrangled the slippery customer out of a rock pool.
Melissa Hatheier has become a social media sensation after witnesses caught her Monday morning encounter with a Port Jackson in Cronulla, in Sydney’s south, on camera.

“I got home from the gym, and my gorgeous mum who swims every morning down here in the rock pool rang and said this there is a shark in the pool,” she told Channel 9’s Today show.
“And I said, OK don’t worry, I will come down. So I came down, there was a bit of a crew down here, and had a look and he was a little Port Jackson and was doing laps of the pool and I said, you know I’m going to go in and check him out.

“I jumped in and I thought, ‘I reckon I can probably get him out.’ And Mum, god love her, called 000 so the police came down as well.
“And they didn’t know what to do. So I said, I think I can just grab him. So I herded him into the shallows and then I just sort of got on my knees. With his fins, I picked him up and helped him back.
“He was getting stressed because he was bumping into the rocks and I was thinking I just need to put him back where he is meant to be.”

And, it is not the first time Ms Hatheier has been up close and personal with nature.
“I was surfing out here about six months ago with Tyler from up the road and there was a massive hump back and its baby,” she said. “We paddled out and went up close to that and we got a drone shot of that.”

Yesterday’s heroics also have a touching family story to explain the inspiration.
“You know what, I lost my beautiful dad nearly a year ago, to cancer,” she said. “The last thing he said is, ‘Please look after Mum. So we are looking after Mum. I made sure the pool was safe and she can swim.”

The video, filmed by Ms Hatheier’s daughter Shannon, shows the brave real estate agent throwing the shark into the ocean, to rapturous applause by those watching.
The footage was uploaded to Facebook where it’s been viewed more than nine thousand times.

“Our in house Shark Wrangler Melissa Hatheier wrestling a shark out of Oak Park Rock Pool yesterday morning! Nice work Mel! #nextlevel #classicMel” the post accompanying the video reads.
Hundreds reacted to the video, with one poster saying: “I would have walked on water to get out of the pool. You’re a brave woman.”
Another said: “This is hands down the most Australian thing I have ever seen. Holy mackerel.”
“My worst fear has come true!!!! A shark in the oak park pool! On another note, this chick is a dead set legend,” said another commentator.

http://www.news.com.au/technology/s...l/news-story/aac59283dc55a727eb4eb114b24add88

 

[shithawk420]

i would of just eaten that shark.

 

[metsäkana]

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/theres-gold-in-switzerlands-sewage?

i always told people swiss poop gold

 

[shithawk420]

Who knew the philosopher stone was actually a gall stone

 

[Robrites]

 

[Robrites]

 

[Robrites]

 

[Robrites]

 

[shithawk420]

i fucking love that one Rob.Jim Lahey would approve!

 

[Robrites]

 

[Green Squall]

Man Busted For Disguising His Pot Plants As Bonsai Trees

Man Busted For Disguising His Pot Plants As Bonsai Trees

Poor guy was just trying to grow some weed for personal use. He will probably get jail time for this.

Satoshi Ohashi, a 35-year old janitor living in the Higashiyodogawa Ward of Osaka, Japan, was arrested at his home last month for cultivating and selling “taima”—the Japanese word for marijuana (pronounced “tie-mah”)—whichresembled bonsai trees due to his unique cultivation methods.

Ohashi treated his pot plants as if they were bonsai trees, rather than employ the usual cultivation and production methods to grow pot plants, which normally grow over a meter high. Ohashi’s plants maxed out at 40 centimeters (15.748 inches) high instead.

Literally translated, “bon-sai” means “planted in a container.”
Bonsai defoliation involves cutting all the leaves of the tiny tree during the summer. In doing so, you force the tree to grow new leaves, leading to a reduction in the size of the leaves and an increase in ramification.

Another very important aspect of a bonsai is its “nebari” (Japanese for “root-flare”)—the surface roots that provide visual balance to a tree.

Creating a nebari can be done using two methods: by regularly pruning the downward growing roots, or by applying a propagation technique called “toriki,” or “air layering.”

The principal of layering is to force a tree or branch to form new roots at a certain point by interrupting the stream of nutrients from the existing root system. Air-layering can be used for several purposes: reducing the length of a trunk, growing a better nebari, or selecting a branch to be grown as a separate tree.

Police discovered 21 bonsai pot plants, each approximately 12 to 15 inches high, in Ohashi’s house.

Approximately 212 grams of cannabis worth about 1.2 million yen (equivalent to $10,550) was confiscated during the bust. Ohashi was arrested and charged with “suspicion of cultivating 21 cannabis plants.”

According to the Kinki Welfare Bureau Narcotics Control Division, Ohashi explained to police how he had used bonsai techniques to trim, prune and manicure the plants—so that he could maximize his grow yield in his small apartment space.

Ohashi matter-of-factly told the authorities that this was the first time he had produced such a great cannabis crop.

Growing weed in Japan is notoriously risky, especially considering that Japanese authorities treat it with the same disdain, punishment and drug class distinction as heroin. Jail time is almost always a certainty.

Another Japanese marijuana grower, Sataru Washimi of Hokkaido, was recently incarcerated after the authorities were alerted in response to an incessant smoke alarm emanating from his home.
The alarm was set off by a space heater that was drying a crop of harvested pot plants, hanging upside-down in his apartment.

Unfortunately, Washimi was in Tokyo at the time and had ignored his friend’s advice not to leave his plants unattended.

https://hightimes.com/news/man-busted-disguising-pot-plants-bonsai-trees/

 

[Robrites]

DOT reminds drivers deer can't read signs

DOT reminds drivers deer can't read signs

DES MOINES, Iowa (KCRG-TV9) -- The Iowa Department of Transportation says people ask them why they don't put signs up for deer to let them know when its safe to cross roadways.

We actually get this question on a pretty regular basis.
Q. Why don't you put these signs where it is safer for the deer to cross?
A. Deer can't read signs. Drivers can. This sign isn't intended to tell deer where to cross, it's for drivers to be alert that deer have been in this area in the past.


The DOT made the post to remind people fall is breeding season for deer.
In Iowa from January 1 to October 23, 2017, there have been 3, 344 crashes with animals.
According to their data, there has been 156 injuries and one fatality from the accidents.
If that's not enough to make you be more alert when you see deer signs, from those accidents, there have been $14,690,650 in property damage reported.

 

[vta]

Vaseline-covered man wearing only a thong pulled over for speeding

by Nick VaVerk

John Wayne Kellerman was busted for going 57 mph in a 45 mph zone in Garland County, Oklahoma. When the officer approached Kellerman, he saw something incredibly bizarre.

Deputy Daryl Beebe found a nearly-naked Kellerman sitting in the driver's seat, wearing only a bikini thong to cover his genitals.

Kellerman had also slathered Vaseline on his hands and on the upper and lower parts of his body. He admitted to the officer that he had been masturbating while he was driving.

The lubed up man offered Beebe a rag to wipe the Vaseline off of the ID card. Beebe's report continues:

"He refused Kellerman's 'semen rag' and returned to his patrol car."

Kellerman's license hadn't been valid since 1985, and spent much of the last 27 years in prison for domestic assault, auto theft, and possession of narcotics.

He was arraigned for speeding and driving with a revoked license, and has been freed on $1,000 bond. The police sergeant who completed a car inventory was advised "that the driver's area in the vehicle was extremely greasy due to the Vaseline."

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/cri...ns-masturbating-multitasker-article-1.3587665

 

[Green Squall]

400-pound headless tuna found in the woods of Massachusetts fishing town

400-pound headless tuna found in the woods of Massachusetts fishing town

Environmental authorities are investigating a whale of a find. Or, rather, a tuna. Specifically, how a 400-pound, headless tuna came to be found in the woods.

Massachusetts Environmental Police and NOAA Fisheries' Office of Law Enforcement are conducting a joint investigation into the matter. The fish was found in a wooded area of Gloucester off Revere Street and first reported by The Gloucester Times. Neither organization would comment on the matter, citing the ongoing investigation.

The fish was so large it required a tow truck to haul it from the scene.

The saltwater fish varies in species from the bullet tuna, which weighs up to four pounds, to the bluefin. The largest member of the family, the Atlantic bluefin, have measured up to 1,500 pounds. Atlantic bluefin tuna is a highly valued fish, due to the demand for its meat in sushi and sashimi, leading to overfishing.
Fishing is regulated off the coast of Massachusetts, allowing tuna to be caught between June and November.

While few details on the matter were available, Maj. Patrick Moran of the Environmental Police told the Gloucester Times that the investigation is of its kind the department has handled.

 

[shithawk420]

Looks like you got to try your roasted tuna head after all squall!why didn't you send me the rest?we were supposed to make sushi!?

 

[Weezard]

What can I tell ya? Bears n wolves are known to steal.
And I've watched bears eat fish, they like to eat the head first.

 

[Capt.Ahab]

LOL. I wish this happened more often.

LOL. I wish this happened more often.

"No bond for man who shot himself in penis while robbing hot dog stand'

"Pouncy had pulled out the gun and demanded cash from two employees, pressing the gun to the head of a 39-year-old worker, Antonietti said.

The victim, who had been passing a bucket filled with grease over the counter, called for his co-worker to hand over the cash from the register. As they passed their wallets and a stack of singles to Pouncy, the bucket tipped and bills went flying, Antonietti said.

Still pointing the gun at the workers, Pouncy stooped over to collect the cash, Antonietti said. Shifting the gun in his waistband as he ran out, he apparently pulled the trigger, firing a bullet that struck him in the penis, Antonietti said."

https://chicago.suntimes.com/news/man-who-shot-himself-in-penis-charged-with-west-pullman-robbery/

 

[Robrites]