Why are redneck murders so hard to solve?
Cause the DNA's all the same and there's no dental records
Gotta love Jeff foxworthy
Cause the DNA's all the same and there's no dental records
Gotta love Jeff foxworthy
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G
Guest
hey KG thats a good one. i dont have a joke but if you want to laugh your ass off check out this kid. poor bastard. you gotta see this. http://www.break.com/index/kidscaredgame.htmlKharmaGirl said:Why are redneck murders so hard to solve?
Cause the DNA's all the same and there's no dental records
Gotta love Jeff foxworthy
Last edited:
grandmesajoker
Active member
Proper capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
Heard this one from my sister-in-law's Scottish dad a few years ago:
A drunk Scotsman left the bar late one night, stumbling over himself. Eventually, he passed out in the bushes.
About that time two young girls walked by and noticed the guy out cold in the bushes.
One says to the other, "Aye, do ye wonder if it's true what they say about what they don't wear under their kilts?"
The other replies, "I don't know, let's find out!"
They quietly crept up to the sleeping Scotsman, carefully lifting his kilt about an inch or so, and both gasped in amazement.
They marveled for a moment, then one whispered, "We really must go. Let's leave a present for him."
One girl untied the blue ribbon from her hair and tied it to the drunk Scotsman's member, and quickly they hurried off.
A few hours pass, and the Scotsman comes to, and heeds nature's call.
He stumbles up to a tree, lifts his kilt, and is very confused at what he sees.
After a few moments of pondering, he says,
"Oh, Laddie, I don't know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!"
Good joke, but a much better song
A drunk Scotsman left the bar late one night, stumbling over himself. Eventually, he passed out in the bushes.
About that time two young girls walked by and noticed the guy out cold in the bushes.
One says to the other, "Aye, do ye wonder if it's true what they say about what they don't wear under their kilts?"
The other replies, "I don't know, let's find out!"
They quietly crept up to the sleeping Scotsman, carefully lifting his kilt about an inch or so, and both gasped in amazement.
They marveled for a moment, then one whispered, "We really must go. Let's leave a present for him."
One girl untied the blue ribbon from her hair and tied it to the drunk Scotsman's member, and quickly they hurried off.
A few hours pass, and the Scotsman comes to, and heeds nature's call.
He stumbles up to a tree, lifts his kilt, and is very confused at what he sees.
After a few moments of pondering, he says,
"Oh, Laddie, I don't know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!"
Good joke, but a much better song
G
Guest
here is one for all those aware of the whale that was in the Thames river in London recently.
ichbingeil
Member
Hear what happened when Grandma burnt the molasses cookies?
She wreck'em.
She wreck'em.
G
Guest
Does this therad matter how dark teh humour is i herd these off some german guy he was kinda strange lol anyway check it out.......
Whats Funnier than a dead Baby?...........................
.....................A dead Baby in a clown suit.
Whats Funnier than a dead Baby?...........................
.....................A dead Baby in a clown suit.
Martha Stewart
Member
^^ good one KG!
-What do You call 500 Indians without nipples??-
( The Indian-nipple-less 500 )
Martha S.
-What do You call 500 Indians without nipples??-
( The Indian-nipple-less 500 )
Martha S.
G
Guest
Heres a funny lawyer joke. A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.
The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.
"Aren’t you going to get a drink yourself?" asked the doctor.
"Sure, after the police leave." replied the lawyer.
The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.
"Aren’t you going to get a drink yourself?" asked the doctor.
"Sure, after the police leave." replied the lawyer.
whats 60 feet long and smells like PISS
the CONGA LINE AT THE OLD FOLKS HOME
the CONGA LINE AT THE OLD FOLKS HOME
G
Guest
HOW TO INSTALL A WIRELESS SECURITY SYSTEM
Hate high priced security systems?
1. Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair.
2. Put the boots outside your front door on top of a copy of "Guns and Ammo" magazine.
3. Put a dog dish beside it. A really b-i-g dish.
4. Leave a note on your front door that says something like:
Bubba
Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammo.
Back in 1/2 hour.
Don't disturb the Pit bulls.
They've just been wormed
Hate high priced security systems?
1. Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair.
2. Put the boots outside your front door on top of a copy of "Guns and Ammo" magazine.
3. Put a dog dish beside it. A really b-i-g dish.
4. Leave a note on your front door that says something like:
Bubba
Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammo.
Back in 1/2 hour.
Don't disturb the Pit bulls.
They've just been wormed
truthought
Member
WHY DID THE CONDOM FLY ACROSS THE ROOM?
IT WAS PISSED OFF!!
IT WAS PISSED OFF!!
bloodshot
Member
cough_cough_eer said:you all have probably heard this one befor
Whats the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver both approaching a stop sign?
give up
well the drunk driver is going to speed right though it with out even stoping
the stoned driver is going to stop and wait for it to turn green
That was hilarious, I won't ever forget that one...and it would happen too
.
G
Guest
my bum is imperfect it has a hole in it.
what happens if you go to russia with your zippa flying low? Chernobyl fall out.
what do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede? A walkie talkie
Did you hear about princess Diana? She was all over the radio and the dash board and the steering wheel and the bonnet and the road and my bonnet and the child i hit coz i woz smoking weed by the traffic lights coz i stopped coz they were green and the kid was a stoner who was looking at the green traffic light aswell coz he was a med user.
what happens if you go to russia with your zippa flying low? Chernobyl fall out.
what do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede? A walkie talkie
Did you hear about princess Diana? She was all over the radio and the dash board and the steering wheel and the bonnet and the road and my bonnet and the child i hit coz i woz smoking weed by the traffic lights coz i stopped coz they were green and the kid was a stoner who was looking at the green traffic light aswell coz he was a med user.
G
Guest
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back
and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.
The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of
his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without
missing a beat, blurts out..........
"Holy shit ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"
and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.
The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of
his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without
missing a beat, blurts out..........
"Holy shit ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"
G
Guest
How many men does it take to mop a floor? None, it's a women's job.
Nevermind
Nevermind
G
Guest
My wife left me...
I don't understand.
After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses;
I had to give up drinking beer.
I was not a big drinker maybe a 12 pack on weekends.
Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day
she came home from grocery shopping and when I looked at the
receipt and saw $45 in makeup.
I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"
She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you."
I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for"
I don't think she'll be back
I don't understand.
After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses;
I had to give up drinking beer.
I was not a big drinker maybe a 12 pack on weekends.
Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day
she came home from grocery shopping and when I looked at the
receipt and saw $45 in makeup.
I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"
She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you."
I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for"
I don't think she'll be back
Bruce leef
Member
How many overgrowers does it take to screw in a light bulb???????????????????????
3-------------- one to put it in and two to argue how the old one was better...
3-------------- one to put it in and two to argue how the old one was better...
overgrowin
New member
A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the
counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd
really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual
urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!!
The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it."
counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd
really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual
urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!!
The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it."
G
Guest
Read a Joke, Post a Joke!
Read a Joke, Post a Joke!
I looked for a joke thread
Whats your best joke...make us laugh, or just laugh!
If something makes you laugh... bump the thread!
I went to a friends house today, who had just broken up with His girlfriend and I was lookin around, and I noticed he had a tampon on top of His television.
I said " man what the hell is with the tampon, on the TV?"
He shook His head and said, " thats to remind me of the cunt that took my DVD player...player!"
Have fun!
Willie!
Read a Joke, Post a Joke!
I looked for a joke thread
Whats your best joke...make us laugh, or just laugh!
If something makes you laugh... bump the thread!
I went to a friends house today, who had just broken up with His girlfriend and I was lookin around, and I noticed he had a tampon on top of His television.
I said " man what the hell is with the tampon, on the TV?"
He shook His head and said, " thats to remind me of the cunt that took my DVD player...player!"
Have fun!
Willie!
Latest posts
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Tutorial CanG | Regeln für Grower und Konsumenten in Deutschland- Latest: Hermanthegerman
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Latest posts
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Tutorial CanG | Regeln für Grower und Konsumenten in Deutschland
- Latest: Hermanthegerman
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