Sexuality - giving and taking.

[Ganglere]

I am aware that I risk becoming Yummy2, but that can't be helped.

Here is the deal. I'm with this girl, and she's pretty great. Most of her atributes are a perfect match for me. However, when it comes to sex, she's extremely passive. She's down with me pleasing her, she actually gets pretty wild. But she never take her turn. Her idea of sex is me working my ass off and her lying there enjoying herself. I would do anything for her (or any girl I'm with), and I frequently do.

After having been together for quite some time I am starting to feel really frustrated and I am considering ending it. With my upbringing it feels wrong to finnish my relationship with this reasoning, but I feel like I'm loosing out on my life. And I feel taken advantage off.

What I'd like to know is: do you think you would stand for this? Is sexual problems (even admittedly minor ones) a good reason for breaking up with somebody? I love her and shit, but love-schmove...

Input would be grand

 

[Marijuanasaur]

Communicate about it. theres nothing wrong with that certainly.

 

[clp]

To be honest doesn't quite sound like "Love" yet. People toss that word around WAY to lightly.
Are you actually in a serious relationship with her or is it just a we hang out, fuck, go seperate ways type of thing.
Sounds like you should try talking to her, she can't really know what you want unless you let her know. Communication is a huge part of any relationship.
Tell her you like an aggressive girl, she'll probably get off being in control too when it actually happens.
Hope this helps bud

 

[intotheunknown]

give it some time...
talk to her about it, maybe shes shy?? ran into a few of those before...
and after a while, the freak in her might come out of the closet.

and man, if you really dig her, whats the big deal?
youre NEVER going to find that one that meets every standard you set. trust me.

 

[zomg1]

Chances are she can't read minds, talk to her about it, or suffer in silence.

 

[SmokeMe]

Drug's

 

[Ganglere]

Thanks

Thanks

As usual you guys bring some sense to the table

It is love for sure, it's just that in my screwed up head that just ain't enough sometimes.


I think I need some therapy, but I don't even know if it exists...

Guess I'll try to man up and talk it over

Thanks alot for not shitting on me, I have no illusions regarding my own greatness. But it's nice of you not being A-holes just because you had the opportunity... Thanks and props

 

[clp]

We try not to be A-holes here on IC
Hope it helps! Talking is almost always the best option for resolution, no matter if its with friends, politics, or your significant other
Good luck!

 

[the_red_bull]

Oh don't worry about being "Yummy2.0". People already try calling me that because I offend people and they think it hurts my feelings. Do I think I would stand for this... absolutely not. I'd break up with her, and I'd do it in public and I'd be honest about why I was doing it and then I would spread a lot of viscious rumors about her. Hope I helped.

 

[Miss Blunted]

She may be insecure or inexperienced. Or, she may like to be dominated and prefers to be completely submissive....but she should still be working it a little. There's a lot you can do with your hips on the bottom....and leg extension

I honestly like to be submissive. But, I know that a little suprise morning ride for my man or a nice, long BJ is how you have to make up for that. Give it and take it!

Sometimes it takes a girl a while to get sexually comfortable with you, then she may just let loose on ya! Hehehe...give her some time. Us ladies can be slow to come around to you on certain things.

 

[GHUA]

Chances are she can't read minds, talk to her about it, or suffer in silence.

YES

Really, you have to talk to her about it. Be gentle and helpful, try to give her ideas and be supportive, so she doesn't feel it is just you criticizing. It's probably a tender topic for her too, so just try to have a conversation.

Chances are she could be having more fun too, if she participated more actively.

It's very silly to break up with her before even talking to her about it. You never know why she might be holding back! Give it a chance, and if you are still unsatisfied, reconsider your relationship and take it from there.

 

[Haps]

People obey their nature's, it is not a fault, just the way we are made. She could learn, and maybe it will be a good thing for her, and you. But mostly, she will try, then slip back, and counter attack you with some deficiency in your nature, real or percieved, so that she can feel better about it without changing.

Give her a talk and a chance, then in a season or two, if it ain;t better, cull her, as a kindness, or pay for it forever.

 

[gdtrfb]

i'm not saying 'don't talk', but sometimes subtle actions have value.

give 'just lay there' a try your own self. she may be a passive partner because you've always been the active partner.

 

[Lazyman]

Miss Blunted hit the nail on the head I think. I bet your girl would like to be tied up, hair pulled, forced to gag on your tool, choking etc....but if you aren't the type who can take the role of the dominant male, or feel uncomfy treating her like a submissive slut than you guys will continue to have chemistry probs. If you can, then have fun with it! Make her bring home a girlfriend for you both to play with too, those are orders!

 

[Chief]

I wouldnt talk about it like your not happy with the sex shell be offended for sure. The best way to get a bj is to ask for a bj.

 

[Joeski]

dude im sorry but uve got urself to blame for this mess.... rules in the bedroom/car etc need to be well established after the first few times.... im sorry but you fucked up

 

[supermanlives]

tell her you got a lollipop for her

 

[intotheunknown]

another point

another point

man, i have been through some shit with women, and honestly sex should be the least of your concerns. thats one thing that i still have yet to figure out about humans, is why sex seems to be the most, if not just one of the more important things to them. i could give a shit less about sex, really. ive had so much of it, its just sex. its great and all. but its the least of my worries. if i cant get along with a girl, have nothing in common with her. i sure as hell dont want to have sex with her. i dont care how hot she is. well unless ive been drinking. but, what im trying to say is if you have that "connection" with her, sex should be on the bottom of your list... more spare change to throw at you.
hope everything works out for you. give it time, and re-think priorities.

 

[accessndx]

I've read nothing here that a cattle prod wouldn't fix almost immediately.

Life's too short to be fucking around with people and beating around the bush too long.

 

[love?]

The big question is; is she also like this outside bed?

You know... expecting or even demanding all kinds of shit without giving back, except maybe something that she wanted to give but that you didn't really even want.

Anyway my advice for you, in the long run, is don't get caught like Tiger. (and now we have both Tiger and Yummybud mentioned in an ICMag relationship thread yay).

LOL