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saving yourself for marriage
- Thread starter SkiFreeYeti
- Start date
Of course marriage is no guarantee that you will be together forever. Marriage is an institution. But, you can also make it more than that if you cared enough to try to find a person who appears to be right for you. That can take years and years, which means that, just because you have been together for 10 years and you feel like you "know" each other, doesn't mean that you are right as husband and wife.
There are also hypocrites who say that they won't have sex before marriage, yet they'll be okay with "going in the back door."
That said, even if you aren't going to wait until marriage, it's important to try to save that first time with someone for whom you have special feelings/care for tremendously. I guess I'm old school like dank.frank when it comes to love
There are also hypocrites who say that they won't have sex before marriage, yet they'll be okay with "going in the back door."
That said, even if you aren't going to wait until marriage, it's important to try to save that first time with someone for whom you have special feelings/care for tremendously. I guess I'm old school like dank.frank when it comes to love
Screw saving yourself for marriage and screw getting married. Chill with who you want to chill with and stay safe. Find a chick you dig and who digs you and live a life that doesn't put pressure on that. Live together if you like or live apart, doesn't matter as long as you both are happy.
Trying-to-blend
Member
Ditto on the whole post...
I'm not the most well endowed male, but every single woman i've been with(really been with, not just boned) has either told me directly or told a friend who then wanted to verify themselves(always rejected of course, i don't cheat!), that i was the best they'd ever have. Why? I read my lover's body, emotions and responses. If i notice THEY like something, i'll do it, even if it doesn't do shit for me.
Aim for the others' happiness,and you will find your own...
I am not professing to be "a great lover"...only stating that I find it quite obtuse the attitude that most people take towards sex.
Part of the problem is that everyone is convinced that life is all about being happy. I say the hell with that. Happiness is a gift. Life is hard. If it wasn't then we would never appreciate happiness when it does grace us. The simple fact of the matter is, I DON'T pursue happiness. I pursue what needs to be done to continue surviving. If by chance, along the way, I find myself in moments of happiness, then I consider myself blessed and lucky and fortunate. HOWEVER, I DON'T expect it, nor do I think the meaning of life is pursuing it.
That in essence is part of the problem with relationships. As soon as someone is unhappy, they think that something is wrong, that something needs to change, that something needs to be fixed. I'm not saying live 10 years in misery...but at the same time, drop all this hollywood fairytale BULL CRAP that has been brainwashed into our skulls and shoveled at us in heaps and live in the reality that is life. It sucks 90% of the time...lol. Suck it up. Work through it...keep your focus and your mind towards a central goal and accomplishment. Let happiness find you in your endeavors...don't seek things to make you happy. It is only through hard work and determination and struggling, that we even understand that happiness is to be treasured in the first place.
Anyone that thinks happiness is a right or that they deserve it is way off track, in my opinion. I honestly think that the pursuit of happiness often leads to misery in the long run, because very few people truly understand what makes them happy in the first place. Always trying to fill this empty hollow void some where deep in their beings...either through drugs and alcohol or fast women or material possessions...and God forbid...but yes, even through the hurried and pressured success of their own children...living through them what they couldn't do when they were young. It is a sick and vicious cycle....this aimless pursuit.
I simply take it as it comes...and try to make the best of what is placed before me. And in fact, I find myself quiet CONTENT...maybe not always "happy", but I find content to be more satisfying at the end of the day, because I know I am not in some rat race looking for that bigger piece of cheese. I often am able to sit back and smirk at those that chase their tails and hide themselves within their poster made, television cut and paste, hypocrisy of a lifestyle....I don't feel I am any better than these people, but I do feel just a bit wiser and even though I may not have the status quo like they do...I know who I am. Which is a hell of a lot more than most people can ever claim to say...
And to the Rock, man, no offense, but...this site has NOT gone down hill. The vibes in this place have increased one hundred fold in the past few months...there are all kinds of things taking place and all kinds of AMAZING community works and projects being done....just get yourself involved in something besides the toker's lounge. You just need to find yourself a good group of people on here that think like you...oh wait...those that think like you, have LEFT. Better yet...open your eyes up a bit more and I think you will find it to be much better than you currently realize. There is a ton of great people here and a wealth of information...change that attitude, bro! =)
dank.Frank
Part of the problem is that everyone is convinced that life is all about being happy. I say the hell with that. Happiness is a gift. Life is hard. If it wasn't then we would never appreciate happiness when it does grace us. The simple fact of the matter is, I DON'T pursue happiness. I pursue what needs to be done to continue surviving. If by chance, along the way, I find myself in moments of happiness, then I consider myself blessed and lucky and fortunate. HOWEVER, I DON'T expect it, nor do I think the meaning of life is pursuing it.
That in essence is part of the problem with relationships. As soon as someone is unhappy, they think that something is wrong, that something needs to change, that something needs to be fixed. I'm not saying live 10 years in misery...but at the same time, drop all this hollywood fairytale BULL CRAP that has been brainwashed into our skulls and shoveled at us in heaps and live in the reality that is life. It sucks 90% of the time...lol. Suck it up. Work through it...keep your focus and your mind towards a central goal and accomplishment. Let happiness find you in your endeavors...don't seek things to make you happy. It is only through hard work and determination and struggling, that we even understand that happiness is to be treasured in the first place.
Anyone that thinks happiness is a right or that they deserve it is way off track, in my opinion. I honestly think that the pursuit of happiness often leads to misery in the long run, because very few people truly understand what makes them happy in the first place. Always trying to fill this empty hollow void some where deep in their beings...either through drugs and alcohol or fast women or material possessions...and God forbid...but yes, even through the hurried and pressured success of their own children...living through them what they couldn't do when they were young. It is a sick and vicious cycle....this aimless pursuit.
I simply take it as it comes...and try to make the best of what is placed before me. And in fact, I find myself quiet CONTENT...maybe not always "happy", but I find content to be more satisfying at the end of the day, because I know I am not in some rat race looking for that bigger piece of cheese. I often am able to sit back and smirk at those that chase their tails and hide themselves within their poster made, television cut and paste, hypocrisy of a lifestyle....I don't feel I am any better than these people, but I do feel just a bit wiser and even though I may not have the status quo like they do...I know who I am. Which is a hell of a lot more than most people can ever claim to say...
And to the Rock, man, no offense, but...this site has NOT gone down hill. The vibes in this place have increased one hundred fold in the past few months...there are all kinds of things taking place and all kinds of AMAZING community works and projects being done....just get yourself involved in something besides the toker's lounge. You just need to find yourself a good group of people on here that think like you...oh wait...those that think like you, have LEFT. Better yet...open your eyes up a bit more and I think you will find it to be much better than you currently realize. There is a ton of great people here and a wealth of information...change that attitude, bro! =)
dank.Frank
Megas
Member
I don't know.. I don't care.. I'm out....
a woman's vagine is the holiest of holes. lucky is a man who ventures within.
bro i'm sorry but "i had a topless mormon in my bed" is fucking classic man.
great quote. did she have a nice rack? you should have gone for the brown eye. i knew a catholic girl who was a vaginal virgin but took it in the pooper because she wanted to save it for marriage. i love peoples logic and reasoning. makes the world a colorful place, don't it?
TOPLESS MORMON!!!!! LMFAO
FrankRizzo
Listen to me jerky
Yep. Sex if far to important to leave until after you decide to get married. What is two people decide to wait and then they don't click in bed? I don't think I could ever agree to get married to someone I've never had an intimate relationship with. Really it's just a piece paper when it comes down to it. Maybe to some it represents more and I respect if someone has those beliefs. But no way in hell could I make that kind of commitment without knowing 100% what I'm getting into and that means knowing what her horizontal mambo was like.
if you are saving yourself for marrage you better get married by 18 or you arent ever getting married, except maybe to some other really desperate person.
There's a reason everything good is compared to sex, it's because there isn't anything better!
Put another way: When you're old and grey, dying on a hospital bed, you're more likely to regret the things you did not do, than the things you did. Live your life to the fullest and enjoy its myriad of pleasures and delights.
I'm just a dirty hedonist though, my guiltless life shouldn't be modelled by others. Ha!
Put another way: When you're old and grey, dying on a hospital bed, you're more likely to regret the things you did not do, than the things you did. Live your life to the fullest and enjoy its myriad of pleasures and delights.
I'm just a dirty hedonist though, my guiltless life shouldn't be modelled by others. Ha!
ahhh man ive seen some hot mormon chicks before, secretly they want the dick but yeah its gonna be hard to get in them pants because mormoms always have cockblocking morman friends who advise them not to give it up...
H
h^2 O
yup some of the catholic girls are so whacked they actually do anal to "preserve their virginity." Grew up next to one. Buddy fingered her ass and said it was wicked loose. Nasty man.
Unless it is those choice you made that GOT you in the hospital bed in the first place...
AndreNicky
Member
Its funny people who actually have morals get ridiculed, you've all been brainwashed into this male culture that all the cool guys are getting tail non stop. Its pretty sickening. Life isn't all about earthly pleasure...
well whats life about then if not about enjoying it?
why did god gave me a dick and put countless pussies on the planet? im sure god doesnt want me to save myself up untill i marry some bitch i dont even like out of pure desperation. i think god is way cooler than that.
the truth is everyone has sexual desires and suppressing them can make you mentally and physically SICK!
i can NOT understand why we live in a society that actually encourages ppl to supress their sexual urges and desires it makes no fucking sense at all!
why did god gave me a dick and put countless pussies on the planet? im sure god doesnt want me to save myself up untill i marry some bitch i dont even like out of pure desperation. i think god is way cooler than that.
the truth is everyone has sexual desires and suppressing them can make you mentally and physically SICK!
i can NOT understand why we live in a society that actually encourages ppl to supress their sexual urges and desires it makes no fucking sense at all!
johnurse
Member
ha thats rich, i grew up mormon, very weird beliefs, you know joseph smith was accused of polygamy and denied it but it was soon after adopted by the church, forget the religious fanatics, find a woman who wants to please you as you would her, i do think its important to be faithful if that was established in the relationship
Ah, great minds think alike LOL
A Guide to Self-Control:
1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.
2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.
3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.
5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.
6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act."
The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.
9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind! The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.
As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some of these suggestions. Remember it is essential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated.
Suggestions:
1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to never again you will always be open to temptation.
5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.
10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.
12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.
13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.
14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.
15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.
16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.
17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.
18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.
20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.
21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan Never Gives Up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.
2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.
3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.
5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.
6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act."
The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.
9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind! The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.
As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some of these suggestions. Remember it is essential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated.
Suggestions:
1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to never again you will always be open to temptation.
5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.
10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.
12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.
13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.
14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.
15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.
16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.
17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.
18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.
20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.
21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan Never Gives Up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
