How would you tell ur nice nieghbor to f off?

[eddie torres]

I have a very nice nieghbor. But she doesnt quite take the hints. She thinks my family and I are so cool. Always wants to hang out or wants to watch my kids.(in which she would probably end up in my house at some point.)If i wasnt a grower i would take her up on it. but i am a grower. Looking for advice before i just totally dick out on her, which she doesnt really deserve, but may be nessecary.

 

[Al Botross]

give her a puppy or kitten , should keep her busy

 

[homebaked]

Avoiding her and keeping every conversation very basic and short. You don't have to dick out on her to be super busy, as long as the family agrees. That could raise even more suspicion.
If the family can agree then it shouldn't be too hard unless there are other factors.

Peace and good luck

 

[megayields]

I'd just walk over and say "bugger off mate"!

 

[GanjaPharma]

go over her place all smiles and warmth, and holding 2 copies of watchtower magazine. say "hey good buddy i wanted to share some good news with ya!" hand her the mags and look at your watch and exclaim: "o boy look at the time...late for church!" then a wink and a nod and into your car for an hour or so...

never see the chick ever ever again .

(make sure she aint already a momrmon/7th day adventist/scientologist/evangelical etc..or this plan could get all Wiley coyote on you)

 

[yerboyblue]

go over her place all smiles and warmth, and holding 2 copies of watchtower magazine. say "hey good buddy i wanted to share some good news with ya!" hand her the mags and look at your watch and exclaim: "o boy look at the time...late for church!" then a wink and a nod and into your car for an hour or so...

never see the chick ever ever again .

(make sure she aint already a momrmon/7th day adventist/scientologist/evangelical etc..or this plan could get all Wiley coyote on you)

Don't forget to go on a charged political rave about Mitt Romney.

 

[Iraganji]

It sounds like she's just a little lonely maybe, but mostly just happy to have nice neighbors she feels a connection with. I wish I had sound advise to give ya.
What I will say is out of all the replies you get here, think on the one/ones which best suit your personality and style.

Battles with neighbors can turn into a feud given enough time. Being a dick sounds like a bad idea to me.

If I were you, I'd figure out what makes her tick. If you understand her mind, you can better place yourself where you want to be, while she (and her imagination)
stays where you want her.

Peace and good luck

 

[myiqis55]

I had a neighbor like this once. I just explained to her that I was really busy and had no time to talk, converse. I was in and out of the house, didn't live there, but she didnt know. Asked her to keep an eye on it for me. I left for half a week and came back. She had gone to the store and bought "Be AWARE of DOG" signs and had put them on the outside fence of the property. This crazy bored bitch watched my grow like a hawk for 2 years, for free! Had no idea. Just gotta make it work for you.

 

[Warped1]

You know there is a thing called a deadbolt. Make sure there's no smell, just like you should, and there won't be a problem..no law against locking your doors

 

[irobot sd]

Depending on how close she lives to you.. 6' away no insulation stucco so-cal house where she can hear you every cough?. 1/4 acre away in the boonies? If its a metro area i'd say ween her away with a combo of tricks. If youre not in & out all day should work. Appear busy and avoid eye contact. This could develop into a full on ignore if you wanna take it there. Talk on cell or bluetooth when you come and go (fake it if u wanna take it there) have ear phones in ipod when you come and go. Hit the alarm on your car immediately when you get home. Wear sunglasses 24/7. Change your schedule around hers last case scenario. Some may better than others.. but. understand SOME people like their privacy and it should not raise susspiscion a neighbor who just minds his own business. Customer service voice tone people drive me crazy so good luck and keep your cool.

 

[cody2white]

Get a big dog and say it'll shit on her if she comes close. Say u have hepatitis and she's gotta stay away

 

[Tonygreen]

Bring her a cake, suddenly spend as much time there as you can, be a major infestation in her life as possible in the nicest way possible. Here is where it gets interesting. Start cutting her grass without asking when you do yours then the third time buy a bunch of fertilizer and burn her entire lawn, tell her you were going to fertilize both of your yards but you started on hers and ran out before you go to yours.

If she is still friendly to you after that, move.

 

[DU420]

Get the ok from the missus then hit her up for a three way.... Or just start walking around naked and stop to chat when ever possible....

 

[yerboyblue]

Get the ok from the missus then hit her up for a three way.... Or just start walking around naked and stop to chat when ever possible....

I like this idea. Cosign.

 

[grow_right]

i have found by changing the subject when it comes to babysitting works well. lol if all else fails, tell her your faimly ar hoarders and there is no space in your house for her! (just kidding).

i have found just by avoinding the subject is often best. soon she will understand. one never wants to upset the neighbors!

 

[BrnCow]

Suggest she take ole' Mikey for a ride at her ranch! If she goes for it let your ole lady run her ass off
...

 

[eddie torres]

i was crackin up at some of the responses. If she wasnt hidious looking the threeway idea could have worked." Bugger off mate" was the response i ended up using.

 

[SFVog]

next time she comes over you should begin acting like Alex Jones in the middle of the conversation. I mean get all crazy and whacky about how you're not gonna take it anymore and everybody has got to do something. Fear monger for as long as you can with a bunch of crazy conspiratorial non-sense about reptilians and how you got an eye out for them like that movie, They Live. Then everytime you notice her around, keep going where you left off.. tell her you're out for Bigfoot's blood cuz he got your brother when you went out looking for proof once.. after a week bring over some pictures of you hunting or something crazy, like a tinfoil hat for her to be safe.

 

[skullznroses]

"we really value our privacy, its kinda our family thing, hope it doesn't bother you"

invite her to a cookout at the park... tell her your house is boring, not a good place to entertain,... we like you so much we want to do something fun if/when (never) we hang out

 

[eddie torres]

SVFog you crack me up too. i laughed for a good min.alex jones. " they live" We would get along. too bad you werent my nieghbor.