A lot of anger inside me
- Thread starter whiterabbit9
- Start date
T
TroubleGuy
I know a couple people who were bullied way too much in high school, and they're cool dudes and all, but a lot of people are intimidated by them because they always look really pissed even if they're not. combine a naturally unnapproachable look with any number of ways to scare a childhood nemesis, lol... i'm sure they could find some hilarious ways of messing with someone who used to mess with them...i know i could if i had the opportunity.
Silver Bullet; [B said:
Silver Bullet; [B said:Techniques are what make the martial art what it is. These small nuances in execution make all the difference. Tae Kwon Do doesn't have the kicks of muay thai or the punches of boxing."
I was actually referring to the mechanics of the Karate moves, but you have in fact correctly pointed out that Muay Thai uses shin and boxing techniques that are relatively unique.
No disrespect meant to Muay Thai practitioners, but I over looked them because I never practiced it due to considering Thai boxing a sport instead of down and dirty.
That is not to say that they can't pummel with the best, but things like joint locks and breaks, or load of coal moves like thrusting sidekicks and full power straight punches that break things are not typically allowed in activities done for sport.
Because we are all the sum total of our past experience, my fencing and aikido have affected my personal style. Aside from a correctly delivered technique, martial arts to me is about Ki, tempo, and timing. More about proper technique in a moment.
When I give my opponent 100% of my attention I note his Ki before his move flows through his eyes and then his face before he ever starts a move. I also note the tempo of the engagement.
Once an opponent sets up a rhythm or routine, he is cold meat. If I can gain distance, I can hit him at will and there is nothing they can do about it. There are two easy vulnerabilities.
First, every time they change directions their Ki changes first and at the moment when their Ki is shifting and their body has yet started to change directions, you can hit them with a single tempo blow and there is not sufficient time for them to react.
Secondly, if two opponents are exchanging blows at a given tempo, the first one to change the tempo has a good chance of arriving. For instance suddenly changing from ¼ notes to 1/8th notes.
When I describe a properly executed technique, the punches in kicks in Karate all have a snap designed to gain speed. Looking at the formula ½ of the mass X the square of the velocity for energy, it is easy to see that if you double the size of the fist it doubles the energy, but if you double the speed you quadruple the energy.
For instance, a properly executed straight punch is more like cracking a whip, in that the return is at the same speed as the delivery. That whock that you hear is the gi sleeve exceeding the speed of sound as your fist changes direction. It is delivered in one tempo, with no preparatory wind up and is instantly poised for a follow-up.
Such a blow between the eyes invariably breaks the nose if not the sinuses, which makes the eyes water, nose bleed and run, and rings their bell enough to disorient them while you deliver a coup de gras.
Most of the bar room brawls that I have witnessed ended up grappling on the floor and short punching one another. At that point all style and technique are out the window so I prefer to end things as instantly as possible using my superior speed before a larger opponent can use their weight to an advantage.
If the fight is in motion, unless there is a lot of posturing, mostly a practitioner’s limbic system takes over and responds automatically. That is where the practice, practice, practice comes in, so when the timing of “Now” arrives, your body just does it before you even think about it.
Unless you stay in practice, that goes away. There is a truism that says if you are a shodan who hasn’t practiced in six months, you are no longer a shodan.
Gray Wolf
Silver Bullet; [B said:"I strongly beg to differ that the difference in styles are negligible. [/b]
Techniques are what make the martial art what it is. These small nuances in execution make all the difference. Tae Kwon Do doesn't have the kicks of muay thai or the punches of boxing."
I was actually refering to the mechanics of Karate, but you have in fact correctly pointed out that muay thai uses shin and boxing techniques that are relatively unique.
No disrespect meant to muay thai practitioners, but I over looked them because I never practiced it due to considering Thai boxing a sport instead of down and dirty.
That is not to say that they can't pummel with the best, but things like joint locks and breaks, or load of coal moves like thrusting sidekicks and full power straight punches that break things are not typically allowed in activities done for sport.
Nah, I got nothing against light contact at all. Just some schools ONLY let you spar with light contact. Thats my only qualm there.
Wing Chun was designed by a woman for larger opponents? LOL. I didn't know that. Thats kinda funny.
I started off on a traditional martial arts path in Wushu & TKD. When I started doing mma and sparring harder, I struggled with the bad habit of kicking with my foot. I've put myself out of training many times for kicking full blast with my foot instead of my shin. I strongly beg to differ that the difference in styles are negligible.
Techniques are what make the martial art what it is. These small nuances in execution make all the difference. Tae Kwon Do doesn't have the kicks of muay thai or the punches of boxing. If you go light sparring, then it's no problem to kick with ur foot
One more thing though, you don't see a muay thai fighter throw a side kick like a TKD guy... unless they did TKD first.
Oh ya, and if you think you're going to run through somebody with a 3 hit combo, you're likely in for a rude awakening. Traditional martial arts often have the habit of saying stuff like: "yeah, one or two hits from this bad boy combination and they are going to be out cold." Quick KOs happen, but they shouldn't be expected...even if ur hits land good.
man the posts are still coming crazy, thanks guys
you guys know what's up
and yeah I don't have have an ass kicker face, but I have something in my eyes
(like someone said above, the look)
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anyway, the thought that someone like this is going into ambulance "care" is absurd.
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so I decided to write him a message, that I wanted to talk to him, when did he have 5 minutes for me
he didnt answer, so I wrote him another one, hey eric, I just wanted to let you know, if you ever hear i'm gone, I just want you to remember that intimidation and bullying shit you did on me
I had to stress about going to phys ed
and you want to be a paramedic and save lives ?
you have a hard time letting people live
I hope you will think about your life
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that's it, and after that, I felt a little bad, I didn't want to get back at him too bad
so I sent him another one
----
hey, but I'm not holding a grudge, if you had to treat people like shit
there must have been a reason he needed to treat another human being like total shit
I kept it at that
I live in a small city btw
so now it's time to see if I can get my shit together
you guys know what's up
and yeah I don't have have an ass kicker face, but I have something in my eyes
(like someone said above, the look)
-----
anyway, the thought that someone like this is going into ambulance "care" is absurd.
-----
so I decided to write him a message, that I wanted to talk to him, when did he have 5 minutes for me
he didnt answer, so I wrote him another one, hey eric, I just wanted to let you know, if you ever hear i'm gone, I just want you to remember that intimidation and bullying shit you did on me
I had to stress about going to phys ed
and you want to be a paramedic and save lives ?
you have a hard time letting people live
I hope you will think about your life
--------------
that's it, and after that, I felt a little bad, I didn't want to get back at him too bad
so I sent him another one
----
hey, but I'm not holding a grudge, if you had to treat people like shit
there must have been a reason he needed to treat another human being like total shit
I kept it at that
I live in a small city btw
so now it's time to see if I can get my shit together
T
Teeg420
he he gray wolf, i totally understand when you say the majority of bar room brawls end up on the floor as well do the majority of other fights, that is why i prefer brazilian jiu jitsu it is proven to work. But i feel in order to be a good fighter one must well rounded and be willing to accept other styles as well. Muay thai great elbows and leg kicks, those guys have powerful legs, western boxing the jab and hook are also good weapons.
I have a long journey myself in order to be a well rounded fighter, but I love it for mostly the discipline and the new outlook it gives you to attack life on a daily basis. Like I was told you just dont train BJJ, you train for LIFE! One of the most influential things my instructor told me when I first started.
Akido does that mostly deal with pressure points? cause i saw a vid on youtube and some of the arts are exactly that just an art they dont work well in a real life situation. For example one can practice where to hit someone for a knock out but untill they start knocking out people they dont know if its going to be effective. Kind of like theory and practice, if you dont practice theory than thats all it is just theory.
I have a long journey myself in order to be a well rounded fighter, but I love it for mostly the discipline and the new outlook it gives you to attack life on a daily basis. Like I was told you just dont train BJJ, you train for LIFE! One of the most influential things my instructor told me when I first started.
Akido does that mostly deal with pressure points? cause i saw a vid on youtube and some of the arts are exactly that just an art they dont work well in a real life situation. For example one can practice where to hit someone for a knock out but untill they start knocking out people they dont know if its going to be effective. Kind of like theory and practice, if you dont practice theory than thats all it is just theory.
Frostynugz
Member
I'm gonna share my story with you bro. Growing up, I lived in a small remote mining and logging town .(3800people) The community was 50% english and 50% french. I went to a Segregated Catholic school. Top floor was english kids only! To this day i have no idea what a single inch of the 2nd floor looks like. Also we weren't "allowed" on the other side of the school yard because fights would always errupt between english kids and french kids. I moved there in 1st grade. Being bi-lingual I figured I could make friends on both sides.
Second day of school the bullying started. 2 english kids in the 5th grade would come over, corner me behind the portables where there was no teacher supervision and shove me to the ground, not let me get up, shake the shit out of me, anything to get me to cry. Well from that day on i was the "new baby" in school. i became the easy target for these shitbags and their friends. Every single day until I graduated to highschool they'd wail on me. Went to the teachers and they didn't do shit because they didn't want any huge fights with the parents because there was "enough tension" between the parents of each culture. Talk about a frigging cop- out the teachers were too scared of upsetting parents so now I have to suffer? WTF? Even walking or biking home made no difference. They'd hide in the bushes and tackle me off my bike to get at me several times. My legs are scarred to shit as a result.
Over the years I had people spit on me, throw lit cigarrettes in my face you name it man. I took their shit for 7yrs man. Finally during that summer before Highschool i decided enough was enough. If i didn't do something when i got to highschool this would follow me forever. We only had 1 highschool in the town. So now i'd be forced to spend the next few years roaming the halls worrying about these assholes and their "followers". Sure enough during the 1st week one these guys comes over trying to start shit. I dunno what happenned but the normal fear and shaky hands, butterflies in the stomach, they weren't there. Instead a rage built, I freaked out right there and called the guy out. All he had to say for himself was "whoa man calm down why you freaking out?" to which i replied "If you think i'm going to keep going through life scared of you and your friends you have another thing comming. If any of you so much as come near me again i swear I'll beat you so bad that by the time you regain conciousness you'll be upgradded to eating through a tube" Never EVER had a problem with them again. I'll always remember that day.
Later that year i started lifting weights. I wanted to be stronger and have more confidence. I moved away later that summer to another community about an hour away. I finished my highschool there with no issues. As mad as you are man, Karma will work TRUST me. I prayed for it to get those pricks some nights when i was younger. And you know what? By the end of highschool i had grown to 6'10 and about 290lbs. I decided to take a trip back to that small town as i had stayed in touch with friends. you know what i saw when i wentback. Same assholes doin the same thing. Most of them didn't even finish school, and the ones that did were working dead end BS jobs and were miserable for the most part. The icing on the cake was when they came over trying to befriend me "Hey man haven't seen you forever, shit you've grown huh?" are these clowns serious? i mean really, you did not just try to shake my hand. So I said to them " If you think for 1 second I've forgotten what you did to me you're f-ing crazy. don't ever talk to me again or so help me god you'll be carried off" Long story short, did i want to savagely beat them? YES Could I have? Blindfolded. Why didn't I? At the end of the day it isn't going to TRUELY better you as a person and you haven't done much more then stoop to their level.
One thing I'll suggest don't ever feel bad or sorry after sending that prick an email. Sure who knows maybe he had a shitty home life growing up and took it out on you. Then again maybe he just liked the idea of feeling "empowered". Either way this guy has made you feel bad enough for long enough. So today ask yourself if you're going to let this guy TAKE any more confidence from you from now on. Because that stops when YOU decide to stop LETTING him do it. You have it in you man, you just gotta believe in yourself and say that this shit STOPS today. Because as you've read in others posts, there's always going to be a bully in life. Even later on. So taking this big first step is going to ensure that you start down a positive road to where you won't have to be fearful of encountering a bully or being picked on or made fun of. Because from what i've learned 99% of the time once you stick up for yourself they leave you alone. Bullies only target people they know won't say shit or fight back. It actually takes pathetic to a whole new level. As for him wanting to be a paramedic, pffft don't waste your time being concerned for this guy because he wont get far in that career with the attitude he's been carrying. Let him carry that burden not you. Karma will fix the rest. Check out the TV show Bully Beatdown on MTV i love it and think you may as well. Good luck and best wishes bro.
Nugz
Second day of school the bullying started. 2 english kids in the 5th grade would come over, corner me behind the portables where there was no teacher supervision and shove me to the ground, not let me get up, shake the shit out of me, anything to get me to cry. Well from that day on i was the "new baby" in school. i became the easy target for these shitbags and their friends. Every single day until I graduated to highschool they'd wail on me. Went to the teachers and they didn't do shit because they didn't want any huge fights with the parents because there was "enough tension" between the parents of each culture. Talk about a frigging cop- out the teachers were too scared of upsetting parents so now I have to suffer? WTF? Even walking or biking home made no difference. They'd hide in the bushes and tackle me off my bike to get at me several times. My legs are scarred to shit as a result.
Over the years I had people spit on me, throw lit cigarrettes in my face you name it man. I took their shit for 7yrs man. Finally during that summer before Highschool i decided enough was enough. If i didn't do something when i got to highschool this would follow me forever. We only had 1 highschool in the town. So now i'd be forced to spend the next few years roaming the halls worrying about these assholes and their "followers". Sure enough during the 1st week one these guys comes over trying to start shit. I dunno what happenned but the normal fear and shaky hands, butterflies in the stomach, they weren't there. Instead a rage built, I freaked out right there and called the guy out. All he had to say for himself was "whoa man calm down why you freaking out?" to which i replied "If you think i'm going to keep going through life scared of you and your friends you have another thing comming. If any of you so much as come near me again i swear I'll beat you so bad that by the time you regain conciousness you'll be upgradded to eating through a tube" Never EVER had a problem with them again. I'll always remember that day.
Later that year i started lifting weights. I wanted to be stronger and have more confidence. I moved away later that summer to another community about an hour away. I finished my highschool there with no issues. As mad as you are man, Karma will work TRUST me. I prayed for it to get those pricks some nights when i was younger. And you know what? By the end of highschool i had grown to 6'10 and about 290lbs. I decided to take a trip back to that small town as i had stayed in touch with friends. you know what i saw when i wentback. Same assholes doin the same thing. Most of them didn't even finish school, and the ones that did were working dead end BS jobs and were miserable for the most part. The icing on the cake was when they came over trying to befriend me "Hey man haven't seen you forever, shit you've grown huh?" are these clowns serious? i mean really, you did not just try to shake my hand. So I said to them " If you think for 1 second I've forgotten what you did to me you're f-ing crazy. don't ever talk to me again or so help me god you'll be carried off" Long story short, did i want to savagely beat them? YES Could I have? Blindfolded. Why didn't I? At the end of the day it isn't going to TRUELY better you as a person and you haven't done much more then stoop to their level.
One thing I'll suggest don't ever feel bad or sorry after sending that prick an email. Sure who knows maybe he had a shitty home life growing up and took it out on you. Then again maybe he just liked the idea of feeling "empowered". Either way this guy has made you feel bad enough for long enough. So today ask yourself if you're going to let this guy TAKE any more confidence from you from now on. Because that stops when YOU decide to stop LETTING him do it. You have it in you man, you just gotta believe in yourself and say that this shit STOPS today. Because as you've read in others posts, there's always going to be a bully in life. Even later on. So taking this big first step is going to ensure that you start down a positive road to where you won't have to be fearful of encountering a bully or being picked on or made fun of. Because from what i've learned 99% of the time once you stick up for yourself they leave you alone. Bullies only target people they know won't say shit or fight back. It actually takes pathetic to a whole new level. As for him wanting to be a paramedic, pffft don't waste your time being concerned for this guy because he wont get far in that career with the attitude he's been carrying. Let him carry that burden not you. Karma will fix the rest. Check out the TV show Bully Beatdown on MTV i love it and think you may as well. Good luck and best wishes bro.
Nugz
Hey Frostynugz, by the end of high school I was 5'6 and about 160lbs. So you best stay in line of I may have to muss ya up. jk
wr9, you're getting lots of posts cause we've all been there bra. The different suggestions shows we all deal with things differently. But we deal with em.
You already got yer shit together dude IMO, you dealt with it.
thanks again
i went to the dojo, to try it out for a month, but they open only later on
i am hoping for the best
i went to the dojo, to try it out for a month, but they open only later on
i am hoping for the best
Silver Bullet
Member
Do you seriously believe that there are straight punches that are too deadly to use in full contact muay thai?
There's a new obscure sport called MMA (mixed martial arts). It's kinda new and not very popular, but maybe you've perhaps heard of it or caught a glimpse of it on TV?
Always amazes me how there's still a small sect of older people from the traditional martial arts that still think their system of kung fu is the best for the street and too deadly for the octagon or ring.
Anyways...I'll let the TS make his own decision from here. I honestly can't stand trying to talk to someone who does aikido or krav maga or anything to do with forms. (no offense, you seem like a very amicable guy). It's always the same conversation.
Kizzattack
Member
To be fair, some of the older Asian martial arts (Wing Chun, for example) have eye gouging, groin kicking and throat stomping that would be very effective in the street but far too extreme for the octagon.
I know what you mean though. There are still people out there flaunting the traditional matrial arts like they're some mysticle, esoteric system that can only be used in the most dangerous of situations due to their potential to kill, but really they're not used much in the octagon because Jujitsu generally dominates over any other style 1v1.
HindukushMaster
Active member
Everything goes 360, If you dont avenge yourself with that dude someone else will. I would put 1000$ down right now that someone else or multiple people have fcked him up physically already. I advocate for you to definitely get back at him when the time is right and dont do anything stupid such as kill or anything uncivil. Maybe break his face and just let him know the tables have turned and you will never forget... Ive been holdin down 9 years of pain myself. I kinda know how you feel. You dont forget
Did that really happen? Or did you imagine that, and think this would be an awesome scene in a movie, because I do that all the time. I'm not so sure this happen.
For me it came naturally,
My first fight was in 2nd grade and I was on this swing and jumped off for fun....you know. So once this other kid took my swing after I jumped. I asked him once, "hey thats my swing give it back" and he said "NO!" I just started bombing on him, lol! imagine that a 7 year old kid fight.
Cannabis manages my anger and makes me use it in more creative ways. Videogames work too! Especially COD4.
Peace
My first fight was in 2nd grade and I was on this swing and jumped off for fun....you know. So once this other kid took my swing after I jumped. I asked him once, "hey thats my swing give it back" and he said "NO!" I just started bombing on him, lol! imagine that a 7 year old kid fight.
Cannabis manages my anger and makes me use it in more creative ways. Videogames work too! Especially COD4.
Peace
smokesalot420
Member
Yeah when I was 8, a guy (I was already a small kid) who was 2 years older then me and bigger then me messed with me, I bit him in the arm when we were fighting.... Everyone thought I was crazy after that and I was never messed with there again. You just have to stand up for yourself since most others wont do it for you.
basilfarmer
Member
If I were you my friend, I would consider a martial art that is geared to being really effective, like Krav Maga or jujitsu (not the one that is all ground fighting, the one that has kicks & blows too), kung fu would not be my choice; of course, the instructors integridy & knowledge base is really important too.
Under no circumstances enter a fair fight under fair terms, and if you dont want this coming back and forth like a war of vengeance, its best if your mark doesnt see it coming or 'who done it'. Too many times I have dont dirty deeds on people and set up another equally deservant enemy to take the blame. Its not as hard as you think.. its just timing. He just had a fight with some other major asshole? oh ok, now is the time to inject skunk essence into his car through the weather stripping above the window with a hyodermic needle.
tisk tisk, he'll never get that smell out. whats worse is an untraceable communication informing him that something WAY worse is coming down the pike and he has no one to blame but himself. psychologically, it will eat him alive
some people have to learn manners & decency the hard way, that is their tough luck though
in ones euphoria you must resist the temptation to talk about it, sorry, but thats paramount, ya cant have your cake and eat it too, its satisfyig enough listening to jabberings from other about what so and so did to dicked#1, just dont be the one to bring it up
teeeee heee heeee
by the way, I almost never need to set someone straight anymore. cuz i either ignore the retard if its some silly traffic thingy or people that know me get a sense that its best to just not fuck with me, also I avoid shit heads and places where they congregate... not that I'm blaming you, in my younger days I had lots of similar experiences
Under no circumstances enter a fair fight under fair terms, and if you dont want this coming back and forth like a war of vengeance, its best if your mark doesnt see it coming or 'who done it'. Too many times I have dont dirty deeds on people and set up another equally deservant enemy to take the blame. Its not as hard as you think.. its just timing. He just had a fight with some other major asshole? oh ok, now is the time to inject skunk essence into his car through the weather stripping above the window with a hyodermic needle.
tisk tisk, he'll never get that smell out. whats worse is an untraceable communication informing him that something WAY worse is coming down the pike and he has no one to blame but himself. psychologically, it will eat him alive
some people have to learn manners & decency the hard way, that is their tough luck though
in ones euphoria you must resist the temptation to talk about it, sorry, but thats paramount, ya cant have your cake and eat it too, its satisfyig enough listening to jabberings from other about what so and so did to dicked#1, just dont be the one to bring it up
teeeee heee heeee
by the way, I almost never need to set someone straight anymore. cuz i either ignore the retard if its some silly traffic thingy or people that know me get a sense that its best to just not fuck with me, also I avoid shit heads and places where they congregate... not that I'm blaming you, in my younger days I had lots of similar experiences
In my experience, anyone who has made it far enough to fight in the octagon is well versed in techniques to survive such a blow such as iron shirt or oblique deflection.
The skin and bone at their contact points is also densified and desensitized through constant pummeling, so that hard contact using things like the shin and instep are no longer painful.
Yup, even have a few DVD's in my collection but got tired of watching burly folks without discernable technique grapple on the floor and short punch each other.
Glad I could add levity to your day and I know that you will be equally amazed when I reveal to you that in my dotage I share your amazement about people who think anyone short of an octagon contender can take a full straight punch between the eyes without being impaired enough to be at a serious disadvantage trying to protect their eyes or legs from being gouged out or broken.
I certainly am old and without question no expert on martial arts because it was a tool in passing for me that ended 25 years ago when my knees went out. I also never sought to be champion in my finest moment, because I saw what the champions had to dedicate to do so.
I can say with absolute certainty that the only two times I ever center punched someone full force between the eyes, the fight was over, whether they were still stumbling around or not.
I can also assuredly state that those times my students reported delivering a full power straight punch between the eyes, the fight was over too.
That is not to say that a better man could not have shrugged it off and persevered, only that they did not and the average bully is unlikely to do so either.
Well thank you! You seem like am amicable guy too and I’m hoping that TS has benefited from the exchange!
I actually took Aikido to better understand how Ki applies to all the martial arts and European fencing. Its founder was a master at Karate, Jujitsu, and Kendo who originally developed Aikido as the ultimate fighting art for the royal family.
Despite my mixed background, my personal limbic system response is still mostly Karate but until you have watched the worlds Aikido master walk through six black belt military MP's like they were chaff in the wind, we are not on the same page.
How about taking a revolver from an MP pointing it point blank between his eyes from ten feet away and them firing several dye blanks to no avail as he closed the distance and redirected the muzzle to their head?
May you realize the embrace of the Great Spirit SB! Please go forth and experience martial arts with gusto and if your life experiences lead you in a circle so that our paths cross again, perhaps we can discuss it again. We seem to agree that martial arts are real time action, despite stumbling over the style nuances.
Gray Wolf
lots of good advice in here, i wanna add my two cents.
in middle school i was the bully, or really i was down with the popular group and we picked on all the "inferior" kids.
then i showed up in high school, reverted to the bottom of the totem poll and without my possee.
I had it pretty tough in high school, some how i always found myself in trouble with jocks and the older kids. I had alot of inner rage in me from getting "punked" in high school by football players and such. I remember when two 6'5+ meathead f*ckers rolled up on me because i was friends with someone they didnt like, embassassing me in front of a girl i was dating.
I had visions in my head of columbine, etc. I had such a desire to come back and shoot these kids i could have probably been put under watch by the police or something.
Instead of that, i found other ways to channel my rage, albiet not good ones either. I relieved myself through graffiti art in high school, it filled back my courage meter after a day of depletion. i dont recommend doing this, but find something that makes you happy and will ease that tension away. Some kids choose to learn Muay Thai or Boxing, stuff like that.
Instead of trying to fight them, i found a new crowd at other schools to hang out with.
I still harbor lots of resentment towards certain jocks that got into problems with me in high school, i can still seee their faces, and i still feel a sense of hatred within me.
Who knows what would happen if i ever ran into one of these meatheads again, i am a much different person now than i was in high school, im sure they would be in for a surprise if they wanted to "relive" their bullying memories.
in middle school i was the bully, or really i was down with the popular group and we picked on all the "inferior" kids.
then i showed up in high school, reverted to the bottom of the totem poll and without my possee.
I had it pretty tough in high school, some how i always found myself in trouble with jocks and the older kids. I had alot of inner rage in me from getting "punked" in high school by football players and such. I remember when two 6'5+ meathead f*ckers rolled up on me because i was friends with someone they didnt like, embassassing me in front of a girl i was dating.
I had visions in my head of columbine, etc. I had such a desire to come back and shoot these kids i could have probably been put under watch by the police or something.
Instead of that, i found other ways to channel my rage, albiet not good ones either. I relieved myself through graffiti art in high school, it filled back my courage meter after a day of depletion. i dont recommend doing this, but find something that makes you happy and will ease that tension away. Some kids choose to learn Muay Thai or Boxing, stuff like that.
Instead of trying to fight them, i found a new crowd at other schools to hang out with.
I still harbor lots of resentment towards certain jocks that got into problems with me in high school, i can still seee their faces, and i still feel a sense of hatred within me.
Who knows what would happen if i ever ran into one of these meatheads again, i am a much different person now than i was in high school, im sure they would be in for a surprise if they wanted to "relive" their bullying memories.
for real, sometimes i feel like i am the victim of my anger and range.
my grandpa has a terrible temper problem dude litterally turns bright red when mad, i think i have some of his traits because i tend to flip out and lose it sometimes when provoked.
Ive been in so many fights i can barely remember them all.
growing up in San Francisco, inner city, i had to defend my pockets everyday just taking the bus home.
kids were constantly testing eachother with attempted robberies, jackings, punkings, etc.
i remember when some bully tried to rob for me a dollar on the back of the bus, i pulled out my weapon and told him to do it. this was when i was only like 15 too, by that age i already had a defensive mentality.
i am glad to live in relative peace now, although this morning we heard gun shots in our neighborhood..woohoo for oakland!
