A lot of anger inside me
- Thread starter whiterabbit9
- Start date
Joe Hawkins
Active member
thehun.com
Bullies.
Bullies.
May this old retired Native American half breed and former student of the martial arts offer some perhaps overly long winded insight?
I could have written exactly what you did about an abusive father and being bullied as a child.
As an adult I am (was) only 5’ 8” tall, and didn’t reach that height until I was 22 and already out of the military. I was like a magnet that attracted every bully within range. I also suffered badly from acrophobia from a long childhood fall.
I’ve found that taking my phobias head on works best for me, with a little afore sight and planning. For instance, I over came my acrophobia by learning to skydive, and as if by magic bullies stopped picking on me when I was no longer afraid of them from studying martial arts.
I am old and gray now and never revealed to many people my martial arts back ground, but no sober men and only a few drunk bullies even picked on me after I stopped broadcasting fear signals, because I do not seek out conflict and the last thing a bully is looking for is to get hurt. They are afraid themselves and are seeking out a weaker pigeon.
Trust me when I say that I look like neither a pigeon nor a threatening challenge. I didn’t achieve success overnight, but after reaching only a green belt, I sent the next 6’ plus, 250# plus bully who attacked me to the receiving ward with a broken nose, collapsed sinuses, urinating blood, swollen testicles, and a concussion. Green belt proficiency is easy to achieve in a relatively short period of time.
I continued to study various martial arts for the next decade and a half or so and have never found it necessary to seriously injure anyone since the first encounter. In reflection, even though I had taken martial arts, I was still afraid of the last bully and drew him in. I also kept up my counter attack until he stopped grappling with me, not understanding he was stunned by the first straight punch between the eyes and trying to pin me to save himself.
Fortunately, after truly understanding how much damage a four brick punch delivers between someone’s eyes, or how easy it is to break both of someone’s legs to make them short enough to give a concussion, I’ve never broadcast enough fear to attract a bully again. I have also only had to hit one drunk one time since then to make my point and end the dance.
I taught the women in my rape proof classes to skip the testicles and start by breaking a leg so that the assailant at least couldn’t chase them and if necessary, poke out both their eyes so they also couldn’t see to chase them.
I also suggested that all my students read The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musash, so as to better understand that martial arts is not about pure defense, it about attack, attack, attack, in defense.
If you know your assailant is going to attack, why wait? Take him out and save yourself some bruises. You can’t reliably block all attacks and sooner or later one will get through if you drag it out.
Best to remember however that once you have thwarted their attack, any further aggression on your part makes you the aggressor and subject to scrutiny and prosecution by the local protect and serve folks.
That moves us to the next point, which is that someone who has been bullied like me and thee, has deep pools of repressed anger. I burned off that energy over the years using strenuous aerobic workouts and sitting meditation.
Sitting meditation brings your attention to the here and now, which is important if you are watching for signs that the other person is executing an attack. It also gets you out of your head where you are worrying about the attack.
A competent sensei can teach you to sit Zazen (sitting Zen meditation), in addition to learning martial techniques. I recommend that if you seek one out, that you look for a school that does light contact sparring, in addition to katas and attack counter lines.
Tempo, timing, and focus are critical to the execution of a technique and your body must learn to do it on autopilot with everyone dancing around. You accomplish that through practice, practice, practice, so that it becomes like driving a car, while your attention is dealing with other issues.
My long way of saying do your homework and build your confidence and bullies usually go else where.
May you realize the embrace of the Great Spirit!
Gray Wolf
Bullies.
May this old retired Native American half breed and former student of the martial arts offer some perhaps overly long winded insight?
I could have written exactly what you did about an abusive father and being bullied as a child.
As an adult I am (was) only 5’ 8” tall, and didn’t reach that height until I was 22 and already out of the military. I was like a magnet that attracted every bully within range. I also suffered badly from acrophobia from a long childhood fall.
I’ve found that taking my phobias head on works best for me, with a little afore sight and planning. For instance, I over came my acrophobia by learning to skydive, and as if by magic bullies stopped picking on me when I was no longer afraid of them from studying martial arts.
I am old and gray now and never revealed to many people my martial arts back ground, but no sober men and only a few drunk bullies even picked on me after I stopped broadcasting fear signals, because I do not seek out conflict and the last thing a bully is looking for is to get hurt. They are afraid themselves and are seeking out a weaker pigeon.
Trust me when I say that I look like neither a pigeon nor a threatening challenge. I didn’t achieve success overnight, but after reaching only a green belt, I sent the next 6’ plus, 250# plus bully who attacked me to the receiving ward with a broken nose, collapsed sinuses, urinating blood, swollen testicles, and a concussion. Green belt proficiency is easy to achieve in a relatively short period of time.
I continued to study various martial arts for the next decade and a half or so and have never found it necessary to seriously injure anyone since the first encounter. In reflection, even though I had taken martial arts, I was still afraid of the last bully and drew him in. I also kept up my counter attack until he stopped grappling with me, not understanding he was stunned by the first straight punch between the eyes and trying to pin me to save himself.
Fortunately, after truly understanding how much damage a four brick punch delivers between someone’s eyes, or how easy it is to break both of someone’s legs to make them short enough to give a concussion, I’ve never broadcast enough fear to attract a bully again. I have also only had to hit one drunk one time since then to make my point and end the dance.
I taught the women in my rape proof classes to skip the testicles and start by breaking a leg so that the assailant at least couldn’t chase them and if necessary, poke out both their eyes so they also couldn’t see to chase them.
I also suggested that all my students read The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musash, so as to better understand that martial arts is not about pure defense, it about attack, attack, attack, in defense.
If you know your assailant is going to attack, why wait? Take him out and save yourself some bruises. You can’t reliably block all attacks and sooner or later one will get through if you drag it out.
Best to remember however that once you have thwarted their attack, any further aggression on your part makes you the aggressor and subject to scrutiny and prosecution by the local protect and serve folks.
That moves us to the next point, which is that someone who has been bullied like me and thee, has deep pools of repressed anger. I burned off that energy over the years using strenuous aerobic workouts and sitting meditation.
Sitting meditation brings your attention to the here and now, which is important if you are watching for signs that the other person is executing an attack. It also gets you out of your head where you are worrying about the attack.
A competent sensei can teach you to sit Zazen (sitting Zen meditation), in addition to learning martial techniques. I recommend that if you seek one out, that you look for a school that does light contact sparring, in addition to katas and attack counter lines.
Tempo, timing, and focus are critical to the execution of a technique and your body must learn to do it on autopilot with everyone dancing around. You accomplish that through practice, practice, practice, so that it becomes like driving a car, while your attention is dealing with other issues.
My long way of saying do your homework and build your confidence and bullies usually go else where.
May you realize the embrace of the Great Spirit!
Gray Wolf
M
movingtocally
T
Teeg420
hey gray wolf what style of martial arts do you train? Cool story, im assuming you are training tae kwon do or something like that?
Yes, thanks for writing that out man, tomorow i'm off to the dojo
it's time for change
are you saying my writing seems crazy ?
it's down to earth, easily readable
it's time for change
are you saying my writing seems crazy ?
it's down to earth, easily readable
Weedninja
Member
I grew up as a skinny white kid in a black neighborhood. I met some really cool guys and I met some assholes that wanted to turn me into a punching bag. I say "wanted" because I fought back. ALWAYS. And I never fought back and regretted it.
If the dude fucks with you again, here's my favorite move: Shove him into something solid, preferably a wall. He'll think that you just want a shoving match and that you're not going to do any more than that. Right after he impacts against the wall and is still shocked, punch him as hard as you possibly can. Watch for the eye sockets and teeth because they're very expensive if you get sued.
If the dude fucks with you again, here's my favorite move: Shove him into something solid, preferably a wall. He'll think that you just want a shoving match and that you're not going to do any more than that. Right after he impacts against the wall and is still shocked, punch him as hard as you possibly can. Watch for the eye sockets and teeth because they're very expensive if you get sued.
Silver Bullet
Member
I recommend a school where you don't do kata/forms, but rather learn how to fight. Although, kata/forms are great exercise and can really help you improve ur flexibility. Not to cut down other martial arts (because I've done most of them myself), but "light sparring" isn't going to cut it. The best it will do for you is help you get your timing down.
Most important when looking at a school, is if it fits in with you or not. Just watch them and see if its something you would like to do. Don't do Krav Maga whatever you decide. That is the dumbest crap out there and has nothing to offer unless you're a cop and its a really good school.
whiterabbit9, hang in there. Don't let it get to you. I don't know, if a dude dented my car on purpose I'd probably jump in there face and let em think real hard up close and personal. I can't kick ass legally but I can react like they'll be grounded and pounded real quick. Some bullies will lose interest, some will take it to the next level. That's when you stand your ground and demand he make good on the damage. Save the under the table revenge for the dweebs that do that kind of shit to others. The only thing bullies understand is the same language. It's a bunch of bullshit for a couple of dudes to square off and nothing happens but it's part of the game. Sometimes you gotta play. Use your head, not your heart. Not all battles are won, don't lose the war.
Most of these fucks want to feel they have one up on others and are looking for that look on your face when yer pissed and reluctant to respond. The older you get the less patience you'll have for that kind of bullshit. You'll run into these fucks later in life and get a chance to see the look on their face for a change.
EDIT:
If you can't kick the fuckers ass and can't or won't call the cops, play dirty.
Most of these fucks want to feel they have one up on others and are looking for that look on your face when yer pissed and reluctant to respond. The older you get the less patience you'll have for that kind of bullshit. You'll run into these fucks later in life and get a chance to see the look on their face for a change.
EDIT:
You're fine dude, maybe not that convincing as an ass kicker. That's where playing the game helps in certain situations. It's not something you can bust out in the second half though. Calling the cops might be the thing to do if you weigh the circumstances and feel personally outmatched, especially if a crime is committed. They get paid to help you when you need it.
If you can't kick the fuckers ass and can't or won't call the cops, play dirty.
Well i've kicked ass and had ass kicked it's all the same in the end.
I've learned alot about ppl threw the years!!!!!!
But if you'd like to change this guy go up to him and forgive him it will be the last thing he is thinking you would do. Might just change his outlook on life,
Hell you could be in trouble some day and he might be the only one there to save you
I've learned alot about ppl threw the years!!!!!!
But if you'd like to change this guy go up to him and forgive him it will be the last thing he is thinking you would do. Might just change his outlook on life,
Hell you could be in trouble some day and he might be the only one there to save you
Weedninja
Member
An excellent set of makeshift brass knuckles can be made by taking a padlock that fits over your middle finger comfortably and that won't compress and break your finger(very important) when they receive an impact. The best thing is that if you're slick about it, no-one will know that you used a weapon.
I also have a lot of built up anger
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want to deat wiht anger?!?!?!
go take a class or two in how to breath deeply...
you can nip your ANGER off at the bud this way...
even if you were a JEW getting rolled in ww2...
BUT you see...
once your anger is gone...
the REASONS for it will STILL be there...
and depending on how reasonable you are...
many of them will still ring quite true....
reasons FARE MORE unassailable given your newly DISemotional vantage...
so what... this guys like several decades of life infront of him....
to FURTHER inbed the MIND FUCK he did on you...
into all the poor smucks he CHARMS as he meets and greets the unwarned general public...
as they interact innocently with someone whos should have been convicted of henious crimes years ago and rotting for life in the gallows somewhere???
well, mind you the justice system is a WHORE for power...
so obviously they have well paying interest it keeping the story...
of the vetrans and prison guards and church goings folks ACTUAL inpact from public debate...
you want to be happy?!!!
or you want to do whats right???
hard choice...
but the way you tell it...
i SAY you should wrap a wire around the fuckers neck and MAKE the news....
basilfarmer
Member
lots of good posts here 
i was sure I was going to be gagged with nausea with drivel about pushy adice to be a sheep and not a man, my faith in ic has been restored, independant free thinkers rule
anyway, the thought that someone like this is going into ambulance "care" is absurd.
i was sure I was going to be gagged with nausea with drivel about pushy adice to be a sheep and not a man, my faith in ic has been restored, independant free thinkers rule
anyway, the thought that someone like this is going into ambulance "care" is absurd.
Yeah, the kata controversy continues to this day. Like all things, I am guessing that it is neither, but some balance in the middle.
I personally found that my students expanded their automatic bag of tricks by practicing katas. If I just had them spar they used the same old moves over and over under the pressure of competition and looked like street brawlers.
As far as expecting to win a fight after taking first place in the kata competition, as you allude, it is obviously a joke. You only learn timing, tempo, and focus by actual practice in real time flowing situations.
Define light contact. E=1/2MV2. Properly executed karate kicks and punches are crippling and disabling blows that reliably break things. In light contact you can still land blows other than the face and groin, but if your opponent can't continue the bout, you lose.
For instance, I just described a punch between the eyes that will reliably break four bricks and add that 8 brick kicks will snap legs and ribs like twigs. Until a novice gets reasonably proficient at light contact, I suggest most of their careers in martial arts would be short lived starting with full contact at full power.
There is nothing once they gain proficiency that prevents them from moving to full contact and full contact happens pretty often in a dojo anyway by accident with new students trying to get their focus down pat or getting even with their opponent who just punched or kicked too hard.
Your point is spot on dealing with bullies in the dojo. In light contact you can crowd people despite their continueing to score points as you do so, which are technically crippling or disabling.
When a new student kept walking over other students and started having too many accidents, we started having progressively harder accidents with them until they either changed their ways or left.
As far as which style is best, anyone that wins as far as I am concerned. Despite the movies showing long drawn out battles, I have never seen a serious one last more than a few seconds. The basic blows and kicks are pretty much the same and the difference is in their execution. Any one of those blows, regardless of the style, in most cases should do the trick.
I say most cases, because the hard Korean styles are strikingly different than a light fast style like Wing Chun, which was designed by a woman to be used against much larger opponents. For instance they use single sunfist for both the block and the riposte in situations that a Korean style would use a hard block, followed by a straight punch.
Way fast, and Bruce Lee was rumored to be able to break bricks and boards with a sunfist, but I never could.
I agree with shopping for schools and finding one that feels like you. If a person sticks with it, there is a good chance that they will try several before it is all over.
Gray Wolf
I personally found that my students expanded their automatic bag of tricks by practicing katas. If I just had them spar they used the same old moves over and over under the pressure of competition and looked like street brawlers.
As far as expecting to win a fight after taking first place in the kata competition, as you allude, it is obviously a joke. You only learn timing, tempo, and focus by actual practice in real time flowing situations.
Define light contact. E=1/2MV2. Properly executed karate kicks and punches are crippling and disabling blows that reliably break things. In light contact you can still land blows other than the face and groin, but if your opponent can't continue the bout, you lose.
For instance, I just described a punch between the eyes that will reliably break four bricks and add that 8 brick kicks will snap legs and ribs like twigs. Until a novice gets reasonably proficient at light contact, I suggest most of their careers in martial arts would be short lived starting with full contact at full power.
There is nothing once they gain proficiency that prevents them from moving to full contact and full contact happens pretty often in a dojo anyway by accident with new students trying to get their focus down pat or getting even with their opponent who just punched or kicked too hard.
Your point is spot on dealing with bullies in the dojo. In light contact you can crowd people despite their continueing to score points as you do so, which are technically crippling or disabling.
When a new student kept walking over other students and started having too many accidents, we started having progressively harder accidents with them until they either changed their ways or left.
As far as which style is best, anyone that wins as far as I am concerned. Despite the movies showing long drawn out battles, I have never seen a serious one last more than a few seconds. The basic blows and kicks are pretty much the same and the difference is in their execution. Any one of those blows, regardless of the style, in most cases should do the trick.
I say most cases, because the hard Korean styles are strikingly different than a light fast style like Wing Chun, which was designed by a woman to be used against much larger opponents. For instance they use single sunfist for both the block and the riposte in situations that a Korean style would use a hard block, followed by a straight punch.
Way fast, and Bruce Lee was rumored to be able to break bricks and boards with a sunfist, but I never could.
I agree with shopping for schools and finding one that feels like you. If a person sticks with it, there is a good chance that they will try several before it is all over.
Gray Wolf
Not to cut down other martial arts (because I've done most of them myself), but "light sparring" isn't going to cut it. The best it will do for you is help you get your timing down.
Most important when looking at a school, is if it fits in with you or not. Just watch them and see if its something you would like to do. Don't do Krav Maga whatever you decide. That is the dumbest crap out there and has nothing to offer unless you're a cop and its a really good school.
I mostly studied Woo Ying Mun (Americanized Korean). I also did Aikido and fenced Kendo, as well as foil, saber, and epee. I picked the Woo Ying Mun dojo because their students were reliably winning most of the tournaments at the time.
Later I kept coming back even when I was playing at other dojos because I got free instructions for teaching a fencing class.
Gray Wolf
Later I kept coming back even when I was playing at other dojos because I got free instructions for teaching a fencing class.
Gray Wolf
Silver Bullet
Member
Nah, I got nothing against light contact at all. Just some schools ONLY let you spar with light contact. Thats my only qualm there.
Wing Chun was designed by a woman for larger opponents? LOL. I didn't know that. Thats kinda funny.
I started off on a traditional martial arts path in Wushu & TKD. When I started doing mma and sparring harder, I struggled with the bad habit of kicking with my foot. I've put myself out of training many times for kicking full blast with my foot instead of my shin. I strongly beg to differ that the difference in styles are negligible.
Techniques are what make the martial art what it is. These small nuances in execution make all the difference. Tae Kwon Do doesn't have the kicks of muay thai or the punches of boxing. If you go light sparring, then it's no problem to kick with ur foot
One more thing though, you don't see a muay thai fighter throw a side kick like a TKD guy... unless they did TKD first.
Oh ya, and if you think you're going to run through somebody with a 3 hit combo, you're likely in for a rude awakening. Traditional martial arts often have the habit of saying stuff like: "yeah, one or two hits from this bad boy combination and they are going to be out cold." Quick KOs happen, but they shouldn't be expected...even if ur hits land good.
Wing Chun was designed by a woman for larger opponents? LOL. I didn't know that. Thats kinda funny.
I started off on a traditional martial arts path in Wushu & TKD. When I started doing mma and sparring harder, I struggled with the bad habit of kicking with my foot. I've put myself out of training many times for kicking full blast with my foot instead of my shin. I strongly beg to differ that the difference in styles are negligible.
Techniques are what make the martial art what it is. These small nuances in execution make all the difference. Tae Kwon Do doesn't have the kicks of muay thai or the punches of boxing. If you go light sparring, then it's no problem to kick with ur foot
One more thing though, you don't see a muay thai fighter throw a side kick like a TKD guy... unless they did TKD first.
Oh ya, and if you think you're going to run through somebody with a 3 hit combo, you're likely in for a rude awakening. Traditional martial arts often have the habit of saying stuff like: "yeah, one or two hits from this bad boy combination and they are going to be out cold." Quick KOs happen, but they shouldn't be expected...even if ur hits land good.
C
Chamba
there's no best style.....what's important is the quality and experience of the instructor or trainer and the attitude of the student or trainee.
T
TroubleGuy
I say confront the childhood nemesis. You don't have to be violent about it, but if you confront the dude and he's still an arrogant prick, who knows what could happen? 
People who get picked on as a kid tend to be the people that can scare others very easily if they want to. Sometimes all it takes is a facial expression and people are avoiding ya..so scare the guy if he's still an ass, don't break his head open. Scare him good enough and he'll leave you alone for good.
People who get picked on as a kid tend to be the people that can scare others very easily if they want to. Sometimes all it takes is a facial expression and people are avoiding ya..so scare the guy if he's still an ass, don't break his head open. Scare him good enough and he'll leave you alone for good.
