Need ideas for what to tell people my occupation is?

[mjr99]

long story short, things are working out in the game, but people are starting to wonder how such a knucklehead like myself is balling so i need to think of what to tell my family/friends that i do for a living that lets me sleep in and play golf 5 days a week.

what do you all that dont work tell people you do? I have no education and barely graduated high school. Ideas?

 

[Diiirty]

just tell them you work

 

[bipotato]

If you're "balling" and acting as you describe, it won't take a rocket scientist (or senior detective) to figure out that you're a "drug dealer".

 

[3dDream]

read up on stocks.... you're a daytrader

read up on programming.... you're a freelance programmer

read up on art..... you're and artist

Just pick a job that can work from home and do some research to fill in the gaps.

 

[mjr99]

Im not a street dealer though. Only one guy knows i grow. Im not even a smoker. Nobody has a clue as of right now.

But theyre starting to ask about my job so i need ideas for a fake job that pays a loser like myself 30-40k a year. Something that is hard to go into detail about or just boring.

 

[bipotato]

Tell them you're a gay male prostitute.

 

[mjr99]

read up on stocks.... you're a daytrader

read up on programming.... you're a freelance programmer

read up on art..... you're and artist

Just pick a job that can work from home and do some research to fill in the gaps.

This is what i was fishing for. Daytrading ive considered, but it seems a bit above me.

 

[bipotato]

...but it seems a bit above me.

Which is why gay male prostitute or pot grower / "drug dealer" works.

 

[buddymate]

Professional gambler,playing poker at night online

 

[3dDream]

Take $1000 of your roller bucks and open a scottrade account.... it's really not hard, buy stock in companies you like. Use a mac, buy apple, etc.

 

[bigwity]

tell em to mind their own fucking business say youve been left some cash by a dead relative

 

[bipotato]

Thing is, once you're seen constantly behaving like a "drug dealer" (or "pot grower" to those who discriminate), no matter what you say or tell "them" their minds are already made up and there's not much that'll convince them otherwise.

People aren't as dumb as you think they are. A successful bluff usually requires you to tell a consistent story all the way through, you can't just expect everyone to believe "Surprise! Guess what, I'm not a drug dealer! Here's my reasoning/cover-up story: ...".

If I were you, I'd go for the gay male prostitute cover. Boy, am I glad I don't act like a dumb douchebag baller.

 

[Kalicokitty]

You do google advertising, or what ever that email everyone gets is that's says "Make $200 a day part time from home"
Some type of vauge internet job.
You research web sites and match up advertisers with sites that you think would generate a lot of business from having a banner on it.

That will account for the free time and money.

I like the stock trader suggestion except for one thing, when someone who knows stocks starts asking you questions your cover will be blown by your lack of knowledge.

 

[haveaNOSday]

Do like me, make a happy family, buy a house, start a grow op in your basement and split the work for your basement garden with your wife and kids. That way you can actually get a real job. Noone will ever know that you "Ball" out.

 

[mrred]

start buying bars of gold and put them in a saftey deposit box at the bank, get a job that you work at least 2 days a week, start living more modest/simple, if your car is new or has rims, sell that shit and buy a older model or put the stock ones back on.

you never seen that dave chapelle stand up saying how he wears and mask and drives a dump truck to go on dates. and if she dont like him he'll pull off the mask and be like IM RICH BITCH

if you live in a state like FL, drive a humvee with rims, got a house, wearing gold chains around your neck, and got no job is the key part, the cops fucking envy and hate you cause their not you,

getting a actual job is you best bet

 

[bipotato]

start buying bars of gold

These guys agree...

Gold bars will definitely save you from being scrutinized as a drug dealer...

It'll be fun cashing in actual gold bullions, too!

 

[PistilPete]

You're a paid consultant. That phrase can cover a very wide array of b.s.
Your "consulting jobs" can change at anytime and are usually very boring and/or hard to explain to people.

 

[bipotato]

Do like me, make a happy family, buy a house, start a grow op in your basement and split the work for your basement garden with your wife and kids. That way you can actually get a real job. Noone will ever know that you "Ball" out.

I like the idea of splitting up the commercial grow work with the wife & children. The hallmark & poster image of a happy family.

"Laura, you transplant, Bobby & Sarah, change the reservoirs. Remember, A/Micro first!"

 

[Mike Seed]

long story short, things are working out in the game, but people are starting to wonder how such a knucklehead like myself is balling so i need to think of what to tell my family/friends that i do for a living that lets me sleep in and play golf 5 days a week.

what do you all that dont work tell people you do? I have no education and barely graduated high school. Ideas?

Can you say you do computer consulting? What about gold farming on WoW? There is making money in virtual worlds. There is online design.

You should have sown the seeds for your new future with cash long ago. I know i have. Everyone knows i have a job (which i do not), and that I do long term contract work of a software project that i created and market to clients. I am also starting an internet store out of my garage to further allow me to claim "some" money on my taxes just for Social Security purposes in the long run.

You have to lay the ground work for this stuff in advance.

Maybe you need to say you are working for someone else who does some sort of home improvement like HVAC or Carpet installers, and you are an assistant.

If you want to be really exotic say you are an organ transporter.

 

[Sir_Nugget]

1 year or less of day trading = more profitable than a 1000 pound outdoor plant grow