The Origen of my numbness. What's yours?

[hunt4genetics]

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks a few days ago. I was an emotional, sensitive, warm caring person. I still am to a great extent, but it's fake. I have traced the origen of my numbness. It was back in 2004, I received a link via e-mail. A buddy sent me a link to ogrish.com. It was the beheading of Nick Berg. I watched it once. I didn't know what to think. Then I watched it again, then again. It was sorta like hot peppers. At 1st your fear it, then you can maintain, then you look forward to it.
After that was the Korean man's beheading, and so on and so on.

Can you trace back the moment or events that desensitized and numbed you?

peace

 

[whiterabbit9]

hmmmm

there is truth to your thing man

must be all the trauma i've been through

bullying, and violence

at home and at school

 

[mean mr.mustard]

America

 

[cueball93]

mostly recent events for me( like both my parents in hospital)

whatever happens in life, youve gotta keep posotive(i find).

 

[kaotic]

WOMEN. And the real world. It was not a happy welcome.

 

[whiterabbit9]

^^

nope it wasn't

we gotta make the best of tough

 

[MobbDeep]

bitches and living in the hood..its funny how 1 whore can fuck it up for the rest of them..

 

[kaotic]

Its funny how 1 whore can fuck it up for the rest of them..

Ditto

 

[noreaga]

People, and not having enough sour to self medicate, budrot, powdery mildew...the list goes on and on

 

[geopolitical]

Gunshots, knives, stab wounds and surgeries, watching people die in front of me.


However my numbness is from neuropathy. . .

 

[JohnnyATL]

theres some video of chechnyan rebals beheading some russian soldiers its pretty grusome

 

[MoldyFrogToe]

weed

 

[mrred]

theres some video of chechnyan rebals beheading some russian soldiers its pretty grusome

i know which one you was talking about, this was from orgrish too. you could heard the blood bubbleing in his air passage way. there only 1 other video that matches this one in vividness

 

[cashmunny]

I'm no expert but that doesn't sound like a good thing.

Although, I think it's natural to be curious about death.

The thing that really gives me hope is not that we have love and compassion for our fellow beings sometimes, but that we have it for them IN SPITE of what they do to us.

 

[MobbDeep]

I'm no expert but that doesn't sound like a good thing.

Although, I think it's natural to be curious about death.

The thing that really gives me hope is not that we have love and compassion for our fellow beings sometimes, but that we have it for them IN SPITE of what they do to us.

 

[nomaad]

wow. this thread is a downer. you folks might want to try switching to sativas or something. lol. go out and help some people who need help (i'm not making any judgments about anybody) and you will feel instantly less numb and way more alive. After that, learn a new skill... the more productive for the world (however useless it would be if we all died in a massive pandemic or alien invasion or terrorist bombing) the better it will make you feel.

letting go of the mommy issues wouldn't be a bad idea either.

 

[whiterabbit9]

enjoy your good fortune

some people have had poopoo lives

 

[cashmunny]

A good example of what I'm talking about.

 

[nomaad]

I know people who have had shit lives who don't moan about it... most of em spent a minute pissing and moaning... feeling sorry for themselves... hiding in booze or junk or meth or jesus...

but a little inspiration goes a long way. seriously... find yourself somebody with a shittier life than you and help em out somehow. your life will instantly seem less shitty.

I am not trying to insult you miserable sunzabitchez I thought I offered a serious way to not feel so numb, that;s all. I said clearly that I wasn't judging. Just offered a strategy to ameliorate the misery.

By the way... that image of shit is really effective. I can literally smell and taste the smell of turd when I look at it. Bravo.

 

[cornflake]

the truth is that as nice as helping someone less than yourself might feel good for a little while after, and may do every time you do it. If you continue to do good things for others you may well develop a terrific life, and you may in fact heal a past wound but that isn't addressing the issue (at least not specifically).

It isn't about being a momma's boy either. A wound to the soul (for example, my father would pin me by the throat to a wall until I passed out, or until he'd punched my face enough times that he felt he'd had a good enough time and he'd drop me to the floor, where I'd wake in the next few hours and try to hide somewhere until he'd settled down or fell asleep. The child version of me was unable to process those experiences as you or I would now, I was too young and my brain seeks ways to protect me from this pain, and this type of self-protection might cause me problems later in life, as I become numbed out to the idea that my protectors (parents) will protect me. Instead I learn not to trust, and not to feel. This helped me as a child but has hurt me in innumerable ways since) isn't about moving on, pulling yourself up by your boot laces, or being a "man" (the concept of machismo male) as someone here suggested.

It takes a bigger man to face the origin of pain/numbness and then try to work out how to heal that wound.

I been working it for 30 years so far, and it still fucks my life at times (and I have completed my Degree in Psychology) and will do probably forever.

Not all of us can move on so easily.