The Origen of my numbness. What's yours?

[yortbogey]

been/there/donethat

been/there/donethat

i waz 9........watched my PYCHO....neighbor.......bury catz up too there necks in the dirt in the front yard.......really....live catz buried in dirt w/ head out.......then the sick phucker.......would mow the lawn......
YES....fireup the gas power lawn mower and clear cut the animals heads w/ the lawn mower.........brutal

that changed alot for me.........

yrz later i watch my best friend shoot dope in he'z vein until he and the pain went away..............SAD

I've seen death and dismeber.......I smelled burning ALIVE human flesh.......in a suburban in full flame w/ everyone trapped in side.....

I've done alot of search and recover in my younger dayz.....
pulled 19 yr old suicide out of the woodz.......bloated and blue......
missing the back of her head......

this and more still haunt my mind.......and fearz......

 

[MarquisBlack]

Not that it helps much, because there are real videos out there like this, and I'm sure you've seen them.

But the beheading of Nick Berg has some controversy behind it. There is a theory backed by alot of doctors who watched that video that Nick was already dead when the beheading was performed. (The people in the immediate vicinity weren't covered in pints of blood, etc..)

Like I said, not that it helps, but that's one instance where you can take solace in the fact that he might not have had to go through such a horrible ordeal after-all.

 

[Stoner4Life]

The Origin of my numbness.......

The Origin of my numbness.......



The massive inundation of news via every
imaginable media known to man.......

I've been desensitized to many humanitarian
issues by being pounded with it daily on TV,
radio, internet and in the newspapers, those
scanvertiser's, billboards, bus ads, etc, etc, etc.

 

[MrMcBean]

This is actually a very good thread.. I dont know if I have become numb.. but what really irritates me are the lies or half-truths we are fed by Governments all over the world. This is the society that I am supposed to belong to? The thought of working hard to partake in the system, contributing my part to keep shit the way it is, Its just not motivating me.

 

[roor smoker]

i know which one you was talking about, this was from orgrish too. you could heard the blood bubbleing in his air passage way. there only 1 other video that matches this one in vividness

yo that video is real as fuck

 

[cashmunny]

are you hitting on me? cuz that would be weird.

Yes. I can't help it. I have a thing for the psychologically impaired.

 

[nomaad]

lol. please explain to me how you came to the conclusion that i am psychologically impaired?

 

[cashmunny]

lol. please explain to me how you came to the conclusion that i am psychologically impaired?

Well you entered the thread in a fighting stance and your first post was an insult. It's ironic that you were pointing out the lack of "sunshine" in the thread by being insulting.

I'd say you're the last person in the world to be commenting on sunny dispositions given yours.

 

[nomaad]

how did i insult anybody? by saying that this thread is a downer? anything u took as insulting was probably intended as a joke... i didn't come in to fight... and you're not the first miserable sob (that time i wasn't kidding) to pick a fight over it.

if its insulting to be offered a course of action to mitigate your misery, you have a serious chip on your shoulder. not too much different than the guy who wrote the two long post literally making up as he went along what I wrote... I mean, come on guys... there is an actual printed transcript of the conversation. how can you just make shit up in light of that? lol. which of us is psychologically impaired. the guy who sticks his neck out to help some people who sound sad? or the guys who manufacture reasons in their head to jump down his throat. you guys are really funny.

And if you found the mommy issues comment insulting... right on. Be insulted. I think guys who generalize women to be all bitches and hoes because they were abandoned by their mom in some way to be fucking lame-as-fuck. Get over it. you're allowed to be fucked up and miserable, but to take it out on the undeserving is no better than any other kind of hate. (OK, OK... I am a hypocrite. I hate hippies. Burn me at the stake.)

 

[cashmunny]

A troll's presence is not required here. Please feel free to leave.

 

[nomaad]

OK. since you asked nicely. i should have never gotten involved here in the first place. i should stick to discussions about growing... and coming UP in life. always up, brothers.

 

[ureapwhatusow]

OK. since you asked nicely. i should have never gotten involved here in the first place. i should stick to discussions about growing... and coming UP in life. always up, brothers.

I understand where your coming from but remember if you are on the up, you don't know which way ya going till ya realize you've hit the bottom

 

[ureapwhatusow]

i have spent a long time learning to feel again regardless of the consequence

loss of feeling to me is a theft of one of the biggest gifts life has to offer

but with elation comes grief, joy is accompanied by sorrow, and the diametric of love is hate so feeling is not without its risks

weed is the only substance that helps me accept with how i feel opposed to trying to mask how i feel

 

[SuperZero]

I

 

[hunt4genetics]

Wow! I actually felt something. Did you guys hear about the dark haired gal from "One Day at a Time," Had a 10 year CONSENTUAL relationship with her father for 10 years! That slapped me out of my numbness for a few minutes.
This must have been what it was like before the fall of Rome.

10 years of boning daddy! What the Fook!


peace

 

[cashmunny]

Wow! I actually felt something. Did you guys hear about the dark haired gal from "One Day at a Time," Had a 10 year CONSENTUAL relationship with her father for 10 years! That slapped me out of my numbness for a few minutes.
This must have been what it was like before the fall of Rome.

10 years of boning daddy! What the Fook!


peace

Dad likes to grow his own.

 

[whiterabbit9]

i waz 9........watched my PYCHO....neighbor.......bury catz up too there necks in the dirt in the front yard.......really....live catz buried in dirt w/ head out.......then the sick phucker.......would mow the lawn......
YES....fireup the gas power lawn mower and clear cut the animals heads w/ the lawn mower.........brutal


I've seen death and dismeber.......I smelled burning ALIVE human flesh.......in a suburban in full flame w/ everyone trapped in side.....

I've done alot of search and recover in my younger dayz.....
pulled 19 yr old suicide out of the woodz.......bloated and blue......
missing the back of her head......

this and more still haunt my mind.......and fearz......

no...f*cking...way....

mowing cat's heads ?.....................................

I heard it all

p.s.

noomad and cashmunny, I like you both, play nice
maybe edit your attacking posts

 

[canadiancracker]

watching my dad beat my mother, but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, it also taught me to never hit woman, or bully weaker people.. maybe terminator 2 lol, i watched that movie 3 million times when i was young and can still watch it and know it line for line lol.... but you gotta stay positive and remember 1 person can make a difference. Even if its only a difference to 1 person its better than being a pain in the ass complainer lol

 

[movingtocally]

I watched The Russian Hammer Video(I posted a thread about it here, somebody locked it). It, along with a string of other desensitizing events, actually helped me. In short, I just plain took shit too seriously and spent an inordinate amount of time beating myself up for all the wrong reasons. The visualization of the truth that I, nor you, nor any of us, "matter" in any visceral way is something I find to be a load off my shoulders. Now I can just have fun, right now, fuck everything else-the way it should be. Others find this interpretation of reality to be depressing. I guess that's sort of a microcosm of why there is so obviously no god yet religions prosper?

 

[whiterabbit9]

I finally found out why I am so fucked

I am pretty sure I am suffering from post traumatic stress disorder
because of all the bullying and abuse i've been through at home and at school

-flashbacks and replays which you are unable to switch off
-impaired concentration
-avoidance of anything that reminds you of the experience
-emotional numbness, anhedonia (inability to feel love or joy)
-low self-esteem and shattered self-confidence
-reactive depression (not endogenous depression)
-feelings of nervousness, anxiety
-hypersensitivity, whereby every remark is perceived as critical
-panic attacks
-irritability, sudden intense anger, occasional violent outbursts
-hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia)

I really need some help because I am going mad

if you think you have it bad lol
you don't

man no wonder I am so fucked.. and I've been alone in this shit forever ever since I was young

no wonder I am so angry

alot of the kids who shot down schools we're suffering from PTSD too
even if people get me really mad, i'd rather just shoot myself

i'd even rather fix myself and try to be happy