Weird - Wacky - Funny News

[Rocky Mtn Squid]

tdpelmedia.com - An arrest affidavit said that as Maines was being processed at the Pinellas County Jail, a body scan discovered a “anomaly” in her vaginal region. During a strip search of the suspect, authorities discovered “a glass crack pipe protruding from the defendant’s vagina,” according to officers’ notes.
The affidavit states that Maine then took the contraband from her body and “intentionally threw it on the ground and stepped on it in an effort to destroy evidence.” She then “tried to explain” that the item was really a sex toy, despite the fact that it was “consistent with a crack cocaine pipe” and coated in “burnt markings,” police noted.
According to the report, Maines was charged with having contraband in a county jail facility and tampering with evidence in connection with the event.

She was locked up after failing to post a $3,500 bail. Maines had been previously convicted of trespassing, disorderly conduct, fraud, battery, driving without a licence, and failing to appear in court.


RMS

 

[Hasch]

5 Strange Cases of Accused Animal Spies​

In April, Norwegian researchers apprehended a beluga whale that had been harassing local fishermen. According to Insider, experts at Norway’s Institute of Marine Research have come to the conclusion that the whale is likely a tool of the Russian military. The article reports, “[the whale] “had an attachment that could fit a GoPro camera and was likely used to hold surveillance equipment like cameras or other marine sensors.”


If this aquatic mammal is indeed an asset for the Russian government, it wouldn’t be the first animal trained for or accused of espionage. Here is a list of the five strangest cases of animals accused of being spies.

(1) The Bionic Shark

In 2006, the BBC reported on a supposed plan by US researchers to use sharks to track underwater vessels by implanting microchips in their brains. According to the article, the program, which was funded by the Pentagon’s Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), intended “to build on latest developments in brain implant technology which has already seen scientists controlling the movements of fish, rats and monkeys.”

The chip would essentially allow military personnel to “steer” the sharks from remote locations, using the animal’s natural stealth and heightened unwater senses to keep tabs on underwater vessels. As of today, it is unclear what results the research yielded.

(2) Eye In The Sky

Pigeons have a long and illustrious history in modern warfare. They were famously used to pass messages between battalions in World War I, but apparently, their military service does not end there.

According to the Smithsonian, B.F Skinner, a forefather of modern behavioral science, wanted to fit the birds with homing devices that would allow them to steer missiles toward their targets. The idea ultimately proved fruitless.

(3) The Cat That Came In From The Cold

The CIA got up to a lot of strange business in the 1960s. One of the strangest was an attempt by the organization to surgically alter household cats so that they could pass along audio recordings taken from Soviet embassies. The Smithsonian reports that “the team turned the cat into a transmitter—with…a wire running from the cat’s inner ear to a battery and instrument cluster implanted in its rib cage.”

The program was eventually scrapped because researchers couldn’t control the cat’s movements. It tended to simply wander off for its own mysterious reasons. How did they not see that coming? It was a cat. That is kind of what they do.

(4) Squirrelling Away More Than A Few Nuts

In 2007, Iranian officials rounded up more than a dozen squirrels around a nuclear enrichment plant and accused them of spying for the Israeli government. According to the state-sponsored Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA), “The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services.”

The squirrels could not be reached for comment to explain their actions. However, National Public Radio (NPR) did interview wildlife professor John Koprowski on the air at the time. Koprowski said that it was unlikely that a squirrel could be trained to carry out complex intelligence gathering techniques — unlikely, but not impossible.

I feel this is so sad and (if wanting to get more resolute) discussting!
Feeling entities are being trained and surgically altered in grotesque ways so the military can try out new ways to get at their enemies...

How dare we as humanity decide that we are so fu**Ing supperior to all other beings

 

[shithawk420]

Well if that's the case I got a whole nest of spy squirrels in my fucking attic.little bastards breached the facia and sofit and plotting in my walls.gonna have to send a cat spy or something up in there

 

[armedoldhippy]

Well if that's the case I got a whole nest of spy squirrels in my fucking attic.little bastards breached the facia and sofit and plotting in my walls.gonna have to send a cat spy or something up in there

good luck getting a cat to do anything you want it to...

 

[shithawk420]

yeah i know.they would probably kill the cat anyway.i like squirrels but they gotta go.i can hear them fucking or something.kinda jealous

 

[growshopfrank]

yeah i know.they would probably kill the cat anyway.i like squirrels but they gotta go.i can hear them fucking or something.kinda jealous

Know anyone that has a ferret? JS.

 

[shithawk420]

Oh man.that would be nuts.dont know anyone with a ferret.be funny though.id have squirrel farett fights and sell tickets

 

[armedoldhippy]

ferrets don't fuck around. guy i was in USAF with had a ferret & three guinea pigs in his room in barracks. well, they were found & he was told he had to get rid of them. just for the hell of it, he turned them all loose in his room to see what would happen. he had to re-paint his entire (sans ceiling) room, strip & wax the floor and wash all of his (and roomies bedding. THAT was a mistake.

 

[Rocky Mtn Squid]

‘Cocaine sharks’ might be feasting on drugs dumped off Florida coast, scientists say​

Sharks lurking off of Florida’s coast may be eating bundles of cocaine dumped in the ocean by US-bound drug smugglers — and scientists want to find out.

With the massive amounts of drugs washing up on beaches and being pulled out of the ocean by authorities each year, marine biologist Tom Hird wanted to investigate whether or not sharks had ingested cocaine as part of a new TV series “Cocaine Sharks” — which will premiere during Discovery Channel’s beloved “Shark Week” next week.

In the program, Hird and University of Florida environmental scientist Tracy Fanara conduct a number of experiments on sharks off the Florida Keys, where fishermen have reportedly told tales about drug-addicted fish.

“The deeper story here is the way that chemicals, pharmaceuticals and illicit drugs are entering our waterways — entering our oceans — and what effect that they then could go on to have on these delicate ocean ecosystems,” Hird told Live Science.

Hird and Fantana dove underwater and noticed some sharks acting strangely in the episode.

A hammerhead shark, a species that typically shies away from humans, darted right at them and appeared to be swimming askew.

At 60 feet below the surface, a sandbar shark was seen swimming in tight circles, appearing fixated on an object that was not there, according to the show.

Next, they tested how sharks reacted to the packages they dropped in the water which were similar in size and shape to cocaine bales.

In the experiment, they placed the fake bales next to dummy swans, and were shocked to watch sharks head directly for the bales and take bites out of them — with one shark even swimming away with one.

Hird and Fantana then attempted to ethically recreate the physical rush of cocaine with a highly-concentrated ball of fish powder to trigger a massive dopamine response from the sharks.

The sharks can be seen going wild, according to Live Science.

“I think we have got a potential scenario of what it may look like if you gave sharks cocaine,” Hird says on the program. “We gave them what I think is the next best thing. [It] set [their] brains aflame. It was crazy.”

For their final experiment, they dropped imitation bales of cocaine from an airplane to simulate how the drugs might actually get into the shark’s ecosystem.

Multiple shark species made a bee-line for the fakes, the scientists observed.

Hird said their experiments don’t prove that there are drug-addicted sharks consuming cocaine off Florida.

More experiments would have to be repeated and there could be a wide number of environmental reasons why the sharks responded in such a way.

“We have no idea what [cocaine] could do to the shark,” Hird told Live Science, adding that of the limited research that’s been done, different fish appear to react in different ways to the same chemical. “So we can’t even say well this is a baseline and go from here,” he said.

Source: NY Post


RMS

 

[Rocky Mtn Squid]

E.T. MOAN HOME

Tourists will soon be having the first sex in space – but fellas may flop for an odd reason, reveal boffins​

TOURISTS are likely to be having the first sex in space within the next decade, experts believe.

They will be able to start enjoying out-of-this-world bonks as more private rockets take off for the stars.

But fellas fancying an in-flight fumble may flop as lack of gravity will limit blood supply to todgers.

US-based space expert Lori Meggs said in an article for Nasa: “There’s no gravity to pull blood into the lower body.

“Instead, blood goes to the chest and head.”

Even so, experts reckon space tourism pioneers such as Virgin Galactic should expect travellers to try to establish the equivalent of the airline rompers’ Mile High Club.

It has already been dubbed the Kármán Line Club, named after the boundary 62 miles above sea level that marks the beginning of space.


Prof David Cullen said: “Considering the various motivations of space tourists and upcoming spacecraft developments . . .  we concluded that in-space sex will probably happen within the next ten years.”

Prof Cullen of Cranfield University, Beds, said research was needed into the effects of conception in space as, even if tourists used contraception, it might not work.

He said there was also a potential for ectopic pregnancies or developmental abnormalities in embryos.

Cosmonaut Valery Polyakov spent a staggering 14 months in space in the 90s.


The Russian adventurer reportedly grew close with fellow astronaut Elena Kondakova during their time together on the Mir space station.

But the pair and Kremlin officials furiously denied the claims that they had stripped off and bonked for all mankind in the cramped cabin.

SOURCE: The Sun

RMS

 

[armedoldhippy]

Sharks lurking off of Florida’s coast may be eating bundles of cocaine dumped in the ocean by US-bound drug smugglers — and scientists want to find out.

well fuck! just piss-test them like they did me! how damn complicated could it be?

 

[Rocky Mtn Squid]

RMS

 

[shithawk420]

E.T. MOAN HOME

Tourists will soon be having the first sex in space – but fellas may flop for an odd reason, reveal boffins​

TOURISTS are likely to be having the first sex in space within the next decade, experts believe.

They will be able to start enjoying out-of-this-world bonks as more private rockets take off for the stars.

But fellas fancying an in-flight fumble may flop as lack of gravity will limit blood supply to todgers.

US-based space expert Lori Meggs said in an article for Nasa: “There’s no gravity to pull blood into the lower body.

“Instead, blood goes to the chest and head.”

Even so, experts reckon space tourism pioneers such as Virgin Galactic should expect travellers to try to establish the equivalent of the airline rompers’ Mile High Club.

It has already been dubbed the Kármán Line Club, named after the boundary 62 miles above sea level that marks the beginning of space.


Prof David Cullen said: “Considering the various motivations of space tourists and upcoming spacecraft developments . . .  we concluded that in-space sex will probably happen within the next ten years.”

Prof Cullen of Cranfield University, Beds, said research was needed into the effects of conception in space as, even if tourists used contraception, it might not work.

He said there was also a potential for ectopic pregnancies or developmental abnormalities in embryos.

Cosmonaut Valery Polyakov spent a staggering 14 months in space in the 90s.


The Russian adventurer reportedly grew close with fellow astronaut Elena Kondakova during their time together on the Mir space station.

But the pair and Kremlin officials furiously denied the claims that they had stripped off and bonked for all mankind in the cramped cabin.

SOURCE: The Sun

RMS

nothing a little space viagra cant cure

 

[Jellyfish]

The US military paid $6000 to buy grandma's donated cadaver so they could strap her to a chair and blow her up in a blast test. Yeah, that tracks.

 

[JKD]

Same story via Reuters:

How a great-grandmother’s body came to be used in an Army blast test

The story of how Doris Stauffer became part of a military experiment against family wish casts light on a growing but unregulated industry: human body brokers.

www.reuters.com

 

[armedoldhippy]

$6000 ? fuck, i'll start digging them back up for that kind of money...

 

[Rocky Mtn Squid]

It’s the swing awakening.

There’s nothing wrong with decorating your patch of grass with lawn flamingos — if that’s what you’re into, of course.

In a new first-person report penned for RV Travel, road tripper Nanci Dixon revealed that those charming pink statuettes outside of tents and RVs are sending a sexy message: Swingers camp here.

Typically, swinging can be defined as a couple getting together sexually with another person, per InStyle, or even swapping partners with another couple.

So, when Dixon arrived
But when her RV neighbor told her about the true meaning behind the flamingos, she was shocked.

He told her a
Of course, later, she found out why.

“Our neighbor then mentioned a heavily partying couple in an RV park that had a painting of his wife as a topless mermaid on the front of his coach,” Dixon wrote. “It started to sink in when the neighbor saw the pink flamingos waving in the breeze on the man’s golf cart.”

Apparently, these pink flamingos are a sign for swinging, and are popping up not just in RV parks, but on cruise ships and in front of houses, Dixon claimed.

In June, The Miami Herald also confirmed this phenomenon, writing that having it on your lawn “says that the occupant of that house is an identifying and practicing swinger.”

And, like there are many different sizes and kinds of plastic flamingos one can buy, there’s also different kinds of swinging.

There’s something called a “soft swap,” per InStyle, which means that you engage in sexual activities up until, or including, oral sex.

She was confused when the couple looked offended and said, “We don’t do that.”

Now, pink flamingos are not the only thing that signal to a swinger’s paradise.

Pineapples are another secret sign that represents your openness to swinging, according to The Miami Herald.

Last year, on TikTok, many users took to the app to further explain the phenomenon, which some said even happens at hotels and cruise ships.

Some may stick as people stick pictures of upside-down pineapples to their doors, which signals that you’re open to another person joining you later that evening (or morning!)

“People’s sex drives tend to go off the charts during vacations,” John Kamau, CEO of the hook-up app Cruise Ship Mingle, told The Post at the time, explaining that he’s shocked by the number of swinging couples signing up for his, uh, pineapple-friendly service.

And, it seems like swinging is for people of all ages — in February, The Post reported that residents from the Florida retirement complex the Villages were using different colored loofahs to distinguish their different swinging preferences.

For example, a purple loofah allegedly means that you just like to watch, while a pink loofah means you’re just down for a soft swap.


In 2009, The Post reported on the Villages, calling the community “ground zero for geriatrics who are seriously getting it on.”

SOURCE: NY Post

RMS

 

[shithawk420]

It’s the swing awakening.

There’s nothing wrong with decorating your patch of grass with lawn flamingos — if that’s what you’re into, of course.

In a new first-person report penned for RV Travel, road tripper Nanci Dixon revealed that those charming pink statuettes outside of tents and RVs are sending a sexy message: Swingers camp here.

Typically, swinging can be defined as a couple getting together sexually with another person, per InStyle, or even swapping partners with another couple.

So, when Dixon arrived
But when her RV neighbor told her about the true meaning behind the flamingos, she was shocked.

He told her a
Of course, later, she found out why.

“Our neighbor then mentioned a heavily partying couple in an RV park that had a painting of his wife as a topless mermaid on the front of his coach,” Dixon wrote. “It started to sink in when the neighbor saw the pink flamingos waving in the breeze on the man’s golf cart.”

Apparently, these pink flamingos are a sign for swinging, and are popping up not just in RV parks, but on cruise ships and in front of houses, Dixon claimed.

In June, The Miami Herald also confirmed this phenomenon, writing that having it on your lawn “says that the occupant of that house is an identifying and practicing swinger.”

And, like there are many different sizes and kinds of plastic flamingos one can buy, there’s also different kinds of swinging.

There’s something called a “soft swap,” per InStyle, which means that you engage in sexual activities up until, or including, oral sex.

She was confused when the couple looked offended and said, “We don’t do that.”

Now, pink flamingos are not the only thing that signal to a swinger’s paradise.

Pineapples are another secret sign that represents your openness to swinging, according to The Miami Herald.

Last year, on TikTok, many users took to the app to further explain the phenomenon, which some said even happens at hotels and cruise ships.

Some may stick as people stick pictures of upside-down pineapples to their doors, which signals that you’re open to another person joining you later that evening (or morning!)

“People’s sex drives tend to go off the charts during vacations,” John Kamau, CEO of the hook-up app Cruise Ship Mingle, told The Post at the time, explaining that he’s shocked by the number of swinging couples signing up for his, uh, pineapple-friendly service.

And, it seems like swinging is for people of all ages — in February, The Post reported that residents from the Florida retirement complex the Villages were using different colored loofahs to distinguish their different swinging preferences.

For example, a purple loofah allegedly means that you just like to watch, while a pink loofah means you’re just down for a soft swap.


In 2009, The Post reported on the Villages, calling the community “ground zero for geriatrics who are seriously getting it on.”

SOURCE: NY Post

RMS

i also heard pineapplles are a symbol for swinging.i dont know if its true.

 

[chilliwilli]

I always thought it's a bowl full of car keys.

 

[Frosty Nuggets]

Sure hope they have a lubrication station.