You are old enough I’m sure. Welcome anytimeGood to hear you're doing alright @Gypsy Nirvana !
By the way, how old do you have to be to pop in here? I feel old, but some of you guys probably have 30 years more on me.
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The Original O'l Farts Club.
- Thread starter Putembk
- Start date
Wow Gypsy ! You really are a “ Bionic Ninja” !Yeah but there is still alot of painful prodding and pulling of wires out of the body to go - they just took a huge long.wire out of my neck - and there are 4 more still in my heart- one in every chamber - and there's me thinking that when they pulled out the drainage hosepipes - it was gonna be all over - but naaaa - then the constant E.C.G's - checking my heart
- who am I to complain? - seems like the docs and med workers here have fixed me - just have to be a good boy in recovery and not overdo it -
No age limit! You will become an o'l fart.....it is your destiny! Welcome...Good to hear you're doing alright @Gypsy Nirvana !
By the way, how old do you have to be to pop in here? I feel old, but some of you guys probably have 30 years more on me.
BumSplodgeBrownPants
Well-known member
Thanks for the welcome.
I was born in '73 and the farts just come naturally.
I was born in '73 and the farts just come naturally.
I've found that because my oesophagus and trachea were so scratched during the operation - that if/when I eat solid food - even porridge - it tends to stick to the wound inside - so causes me to cough - which is very painful -- and could split open my STERNOTOMY - so I've just been eating soup and crackers
dunked in the soup - and yogurt - and bananas
mostly today -
- I'm VERY constipated - having not taken a dump since Sunday morning - and they have been giving me laxatives for 2 days now - only result so far - are a coupla very feeble farts - but they could be the precursor - for ridding myself of about - 3 kilos of very smelly rocks-
A spoonful or three of Coconut oil will set most people "Right" and I need to remember to take a jar with me as plugging up is the last thing my shortened intestine tract needs. It works better on me than most other options. A spoon with every meal will burst any damn dam. Never let it get established.So now its been 5 days since my bowels moved - I'm sitting on a suppositorie - wishing and hoping that it works - all this fentanyl and morphine has blocked me up - BAD
The doctors seem to be pleasedwith my rate of recovery - even downgrading my pain meds to dihydra codeine and paracetamol now
I need to ask if I can bring my own meds as I can stand a hell of a lot more pain stoned on my capsules. Even really ugly pain it moves off center and it's not all up in my face. Would get me off their meds faster I know from prior surgeries. Once home and accessed back on my turf I filled but never used any of the post op pain meds.
The Veteran's Admin will prescribe me what works out to 15 Tylenol and codeine every month for my surgical adhesions, but I have to actively pursue it and ask every month as they won't auto refill the script. Has to be mailed as well. They test me once a year to be sure I've been a good boy, and my drug panel only shows the ever-evil cannabis.
Since the Opioid is a double edge sword with constipation as the flipside to pain relief, I really have to be chewing my arm off to keep from screaming in pain before I resort them damned things. Missing most of my Colon I've lived the last 12 years in fear of a small bowel obstruction the #1 post op issue with what was done to me.
My surgeon was really clear on that. But a bad event of adhesion pain feels like... HAHAHAhahahaha where does it hurt? God it'd be funny if the pain wasn't so crippling. I don't do the things I want to like getting under an antique car and the pain monster doesn't come to visit.
A triggered pain event is really quite amazing and a thing to behold if it didn't hurt so fucking much. Feels like I've been slowly skewered in the belly with a large kitchen knife that takes about 10 seconds to reach my spine. Then the knife is slowly rotated in a clockwise direction a 360-degree rotation then yanked abruptly out. Feels like the knife is electrically charged and I'm being shocked at the same time.
Whole thing can take 30 to 45 seconds and leaves me gasping for breath and It's rare I don't drop to the floor and whimper like a whipped dog. The fun part it's a delayed event and happens 30 minutes after I wake it up. I have to think back and try and figure out what stupid thing I'd done. Pressing on the scar is usually what. No leaning into the engine bay of a car now. Belly on fender = bad news later.
Sober anything can wake it up and it last for hours. Sneezing, tying my shoes, bending to pick up my dropped keys, reaching for something really high, Whole laundry list of don't do's.
Stoned it takes a real bad move on my part to even wake it up.
Kat's wonderful hash capsule recipe has the walls melting again this morning as they always do. Headphones drilling holes in the brain matter. My hands looks like they are attached to someone else's body. God this stuff just never gets old.I've been looking over my shoulder for the last 12 years for that city bus to jump the curb and run me down with the devil on the bumper laughing as I'm mowed under. One shouldn't get to have this much uninterrupted fun on Cannabis. Is my dilated aorta the price of being absolutely blistered off my ass on Kats oil for the last 12 years? Is this the Bus I've looked for? LOL
My 250mg ramblings....... Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Someone get me a ladder!
Now this nurse has just come around fully armed with these huge Q-tips - swab like things - and has stuck one up me nose - daan me throat - around the family jewels - and two up me arse - she said ' it's because we move you to another ward today - and we have to check for viruses'.-Wow Gypsy ! You really are a “ Bionic Ninja” !
OleReynard
Well-known member
Shit wish I was born in 73, you're just a pup
BumSplodgeBrownPants
Well-known member
I am housetrained... Sort of.
OleReynard
Well-known member
The one in the ass was just because
BumSplodgeBrownPants
Well-known member
Here's my pup...
Bit of excitement in the neighborhood as a house about 6 away burned. By the time it was over we had 8 engines on site. Stubborn fire kept blazing back up and they kept chopping more holes in the roof.
Not really sure what use the hook and ladder truck was, but it arrived first.
He looks like he wants a big ole smooch
Good to hear you're doing alright @Gypsy Nirvana !
By the way, how old do you have to be to pop in here? I feel old, but some of you guys probably have 30 years more on me.
welcome aboard
first cup of coffee is free
anyone seen Unca Walt this fine morning?…
BumSplodgeBrownPants
Well-known member
30kg of cuddly toy he is. My big baby.He looks like he wants a big ole smooch
I'll give him a belly rub later from you!
I have pimples older than you.......
OleReynard
Well-known member
Sure you don't want the gal with brown pants and maroon top, gray hair?
CharlesU Farley
Well-known member
No he won't
, but by that time at least he'll be able to have a hard on and do something with it.
CharlesU Farley
Well-known member
One of my favorite lines, I've got _underwear_ older than you.
