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The Original O'l Farts Club.
- Thread starter Putembk
- Start date
CharlesU Farley
Well-known member
In the immortal words of Steve Winwood, you got to roll with it baby!I've found that because my oesophagus and trachea were so scratched during the operation - that if/when I eat solid food - even porridge - it tends to stick to the wound inside - so causes me to cough - which is very painful -- and could split open my STERNOTOMY - so I've just been eating soup and crackers
dunked in the soup - and yogurt - and bananas
mostly today -
- I'm VERY constipated - having not taken a dump since Sunday morning - and they have been giving me laxatives for 2 days now - only result so far - are a coupla very feeble farts - but they could be the precursor - for ridding myself of about - 3 kilos of very smelly rocks-
The fact that you're farting is a _good_ thing. Means all those smooth muscles that were paralyzed when you were under anesthesia are now back in _working_ order.
Just got to get all those muscles moving in coordination (peristalsis), so they can squeeze those turds out your...
_A_nal c_A_nal.
That's confusing as shit in print, just think of emphasizing the sound "A" in both of those words.
The technical term that us medical people use is just like Borat, the "ah noose"
I hope my sick fuck humor is translating correctly, while you're reading this in the hospital. I wonder.
Congrats Gypsy. Just two days ago you were about having heart surgery and one day later here you are, in good spirits and all. For less serious conditions our forefathers were plastered with slugs and witchcraft, tied in the stable for years and fed only goat blood, and as soon as they could stand up they had to go to fight invaders. Despite all our complaints, hospitals nowadays are fantastic places that fix us most of the times, give you drugs and lunch and a lot of the staff are foreigners.
Can't follow the thread regularly, got a 3 yo grandnephew visiting and cannot sit down for more than five minutes.
Rubio has been with me since his birth 12 years ago. The other four too. They don't know what a collar is.
Can't follow the thread regularly, got a 3 yo grandnephew visiting and cannot sit down for more than five minutes.
Rubio has been with me since his birth 12 years ago. The other four too. They don't know what a collar is.
Attachments
who dosent like a nice hearty soup!I've found that because my oesophagus and trachea were so scratched during the operation - that if/when I eat solid food - even porridge - it tends to stick to the wound inside - so causes me to cough - which is very painful -
- I'm VERY constipated - having not taken a dump since Sunday morning - and they have been giving me laxatives for 2 days now - only result so far - are a coupla very feeble farts - but they could be the precursor - for ridding myself of about - 3 kilos of very smelly rocks
i hear the opioids can have that effect on the bowls, just be ready
/pull my finger
OleReynard
Well-known member
I know I've eaten my share
oldmaninbc
Well-known member
You definitely don't want to open your Sternotomy! Post surgical days can be difficult.I've found that because my oesophagus and trachea were so scratched during the operation - that if/when I eat solid food - even porridge - it tends to stick to the wound inside - so causes me to cough - which is very painful -
- I'm VERY constipated - having not taken a dump since Sunday morning - and they have been giving me laxatives for 2 days now - only result so far - are a coupla very feeble farts - but they could be the precursor - for ridding myself of about - 3 kilos of very smelly rocks
From my understanding your a man who enjoys a good meal, you have my empathy.
I was so constipated from narcotics at one time, I had to go into emergency and have my compacted bowel cleaned out by hand. Talk about smelly and I felt incredibly embarrassed.
The things we have to go through to make our lives better
Walt and Gray Wolf are more like dragging 80 than pushing.
Walt can probably barely remember his 80th birthday.
was about to post something cheerful but I just lost my appetite
@Gray Wolf give us advance notice next time.
was about to post something cheerful but I just lost my appetite
If you can hold on, the ghastly picture will soon be on another page......................@Gray Wolf give us advance notice next time.
