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the elderly asylum
- Thread starter armedoldhippy
- Start date
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moose eater
Un-sportsman-like conduct!! I'm tossing an orange flag on the field as I type. You can't hint at an secret, then refuse to let 'er rip!!
A dozen of us are staying on -this- page, in THIS thread, logged in, until you come clean!!!
T
Teddybrae
Oh Life is such a tragedy for me. I exist today as a puppet-person "... mesmerised by past experience and conditioned to identify exclusively with Form." (Tolle, 2005) I cannot find Peace. My internal dialogue is filled with bullshit and will not leave me be! My thoughts go round in circles and the Heavenly conclusion I have been taught I am due seems as far away today as it seemed when I first heard the Promise. So now, near the end, I wonder: Was Life all lies?!
I will go to my grave anxiously ... burdened by the unresolved Griefs of a Lifetime. I will become more and more Miserable realising that no matter how hard I try I can leave nothing behind me. (Make me a memorial. Then plough it over and plant it when I am forgotten.)
I hear you protest: But what about your children? Ah, I say, they are by me but not of me. They are people in their own right and belong to the trans-generational stream of Ancestry, the family Script, that produced me too and fashioned fairy tales of my pending life-involvement as a wondrous Hero.
NO! My creation, as my Mother's mini-god, her little worker of future wonders, is in truth borne of the blood and shame of tragic pasts. There are no past Glories that can lead to future Happiness.
Is no one but me aware of the Irony?
I will go to my grave anxiously ... burdened by the unresolved Griefs of a Lifetime. I will become more and more Miserable realising that no matter how hard I try I can leave nothing behind me. (Make me a memorial. Then plough it over and plant it when I am forgotten.)
I hear you protest: But what about your children? Ah, I say, they are by me but not of me. They are people in their own right and belong to the trans-generational stream of Ancestry, the family Script, that produced me too and fashioned fairy tales of my pending life-involvement as a wondrous Hero.
NO! My creation, as my Mother's mini-god, her little worker of future wonders, is in truth borne of the blood and shame of tragic pasts. There are no past Glories that can lead to future Happiness.
Is no one but me aware of the Irony?
Damn buddy! I thought you said your 31 like me?! People have said I look and act rough sometimes but you got me beat! I got a small bald spot on my head and some gray on my head but I'm start juicing.i suggest you do the same! I listen to classical music too.you should check out modern Japanese composers.some of them are fantastic
I stupidly did something similar to this when the adventure began and was quickly smote ( smitten? ) ( I leave English to the English Ha! ) down by the legal G-d who sometimes watches over me. I must run this by him or face the ultimate wrath which I cannot afford.
Lucky fucker. I wish my wife had killed herself in 2006. The only thing my wife is killing are my hopes and dreams for a happy life.
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AOH, have you tried CBD oil yet? My guess is NO but I suggest you give it a try. It's a great choice for helping to cope with BS during trying times, like right now!!!
smoking whole CBD buds lately, with a "small" amount of good weed mixed in for full effect.
it makes me feel better physically, but i'm still a cranky old SOB on my good days. on my BAD days, i'm ...well, i don' wanna go there.
Bobby Boucher
Active member
Hypomania. My mind races at speeds that erode the body away like you wouldn't believe. I have the ability to make very novel connections and perform at very high levels, but it comes at the high price of not being able to turn off until my body and mind are completely exhausted, and often times not even then. For years now, I have been utterly incapable of sleeping for over an hour at time. I look fuckin' troubled.
I sweat acid. Everything I touch rusts, stains, or erodes away. I am the stress golem. I almost fully expect my increased adrenaline/cortisol output to lead to an early death.
Speaking of Japanese composers, I've been working on staccato beans for awhile now. I've inadvertently gone through the landmarks of emotions that guide me through piece you reminded me of a dozen times throughout this post, and fuck if I don't feel completely drained from the experience.
Pretty sure I had good hard stroke some time ago which left me seeing things that I probably shouldn't be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiN7wXViJx0
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I am grumpy all the fucking time. And, I smoke 15 to 20 joints a day plus rosin plus 1:1 CBD joints.
I think being in constant pain from head to toe might have something to do with it.
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I think being in constant pain from head to toe might have something to do with it.
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Bobby Boucher
Active member
Round of applause for all the tough fuckers in here that endure it with grace and dignity.
OK, that would not be me. LOL
Grace and Dignity were 2 twins I fucked when I was 22 years old. LOL
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Grace and Dignity were 2 twins I fucked when I was 22 years old. LOL
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Lol Ringo - I like the bawdy humour -
I just took a very hot bath - and when I got out of it - I felt like crap - although I felt great when I was in it - got all dizzy - and was slightly hallucinating - thought my lights were going out - and I was gonna faint or something - now I've cooled down a bit - I feel much better -
Any of you geriatric recalcitrant reprobates get the same thing happening to you? - 'cos it might be a sign I'm aging fast - and will soon be able to join the club here - lol
I just took a very hot bath - and when I got out of it - I felt like crap - although I felt great when I was in it - got all dizzy - and was slightly hallucinating - thought my lights were going out - and I was gonna faint or something - now I've cooled down a bit - I feel much better -
Any of you geriatric recalcitrant reprobates get the same thing happening to you? - 'cos it might be a sign I'm aging fast - and will soon be able to join the club here - lol
I live by myself so I only have my self to blame, I don’t need anyone to help me feel a different way. So I look at myself and see how I feel happy, mad, glad, or sad, so it is all in my mind. Most of the time I can keep the negativity away, but like most folks in a 65 year vessel, that I didn’t take the best care of myself things don’t work as good as they should. A good night sleep, not to much neuropathy pain, makes for a good day. Seems the way things are going my income is taking a big hit, but living a simple life and having prepared for this time in my life, everything is paid for and I live in a comfortable place. So my body deteriorating is unprevental I try to keep a positive outlook. That’s how I see myself, my friends call me a grumpy old Buddhaist but they don’t know what the hell they are talking about...
We get too soon old & too late smart . . .
Nah, it's normal, just a sign that you soaked in a tub of hot water for way too long.
I gave it up about 20yrs. ago, feel so much better now!
M
moose eater
It's an aging/circulation thing. When I go to the hot springs, if I stay in the hot spots of the outdoor rock pool too long, it feels like someone slipped me 4 valium. So I head into the cooler waters of either another tub, or another area of the rock pool when I feel the 'groggies' setting in. The cold can amp the circulation back up again.
They did, however, recently have an older gent die of a heart-attack (??) out there recently.
One good reason why I'll take a few good puffs before entering the pool, but why many advise against drinking any notable amount of alcohol when soaking in hot H2O; it can contribute to cardiac arrest. And I loathe being arrested, in any way, shape or form... Unless I'm falling..
YukonKronic
Active member
Mid 30s but I feel old as fuck. And pissed about it. Depression since childhood PTSD from watching a kid die, anxiety from losing my career over it almost my family and life and failing utterly to handle my wife’s consequent relapse to alcoholism as well as my treatments all while watching my step son start abusing drugs and alcohol before 15 and my daughter start showing symptoms of anxiety before age 8.
But I kicked the PTSD (pffft sort of... shits for life.) wife laid off so much sauce I started growing weed and my daughter is better adjusted since I started leaving with her and staying elsewhere when shit got too intense at home.
Now for the lumps in my back and impending bankruptcy...and addicted step son. And a new career that doesn’t mind me being headfucked until I’m not anymore. Did I mention the chronic stomach problems and complete lack of public sector financial support? Ha! Or the ever changing line up of new doctors that have to use 3 appointments just to catch up and then disappear only to be replaced?
Sigh. I got more. But I just fuckn can’t.
Fuck Old and Grumpy. How about just Grumpy and it’s getting old?
Whew... that actually felt kinda good. I’m a little riled up again now though. Think I’ll go find something to kick.
Thanks for the outlet.
But I kicked the PTSD (pffft sort of... shits for life.) wife laid off so much sauce I started growing weed and my daughter is better adjusted since I started leaving with her and staying elsewhere when shit got too intense at home.
Now for the lumps in my back and impending bankruptcy...and addicted step son. And a new career that doesn’t mind me being headfucked until I’m not anymore. Did I mention the chronic stomach problems and complete lack of public sector financial support? Ha! Or the ever changing line up of new doctors that have to use 3 appointments just to catch up and then disappear only to be replaced?
Sigh. I got more. But I just fuckn can’t.
Fuck Old and Grumpy. How about just Grumpy and it’s getting old?
Whew... that actually felt kinda good. I’m a little riled up again now though. Think I’ll go find something to kick.
Thanks for the outlet.
