Sexual frustration...

[southflorida]

grassroots...you should have a talk with her....ask her wtf is going on...i've been with my wife for 14 years...and the only time she has denied sex is when she has her period...and then the baby oil was handed to her.....lmao

we usually have sex around once a week...and maybe that is why either of us doesn't refuse when the other wants to get down...but in the end its like that zeppelin song usually.....''communication breakdown''

 

[GrassRoots]

From the frequency that some people have stated they have sex in this thread maybe I should be more grateful for what I have and I don't mean to offend anyone by saying that. I think the best thing to do and what a lot of you have indicated is to communicate about it and take it from there. I've been trying to keep a really cool head about it lately if she's not up for it. Getting angry never helps the situation so I'm just going to try to cut that out completely and talk to her about my feelings with this. I appreciate all the comments and suggestions.

GrassRoots

 

[Dr. G]

i was just talking to another couple about this same prob i have my girl doesnt every really enitiate? but thats ok cuz she still has sex with me 6/7 days a week unless its her period or either one of us are sick

but my buddy and his gf are the other way he doesnt want it and she does all the time

people are different you just gotta talk to them

 

[FreezerBoy]

Two things. Sex drive differs from one person to another; You have to take people the way they are. If your drives are that far out of sync, say, "thanks for the memories," and hit the road. If she wants to talk at that point, fine but, people deserve what they want and need. If you two don't match up naturally, make way for those that do.

 

[Bruja64]

I came here to tell a story about my mice & cannabis.....ah well....
Now I feel like I have to say something that no one else mentioned(just in case).
If a woman has been sexually abused in her past(be it early childhood or teenager or adult) she can have a multitude of issues around sex.
Have you ever talked to her about her past sexual experiances? Ok, I mean, specifically around sexual abuse.
That may not have a thing to do with her not wanting sex as much as you would like, but then again, it is possible.

Also, consider taking her out to buy sex toys(or YOU could just go buy some as a surprise). The first time someone took me to buy a vibrator was quite a turn-on(although I was embarrassed at first). Remember: "It's only kinky the first time".

Hand jobs suck for women. It is VERY tiring & BORING.
Someone mentioned giving her a massage. Just do it for her....see where it leads. And use some of that special kama sutra oil you bought at the toy store!

Good luck!

 

[BiG H3rB Tr3E]

Another reason prostitution should be legalized, it is the key to any happy marriage.

 

[curious29]

If you two started your relationship with a lot of sex, and now there barely is any, then there is a problem somewhere, and it might be someone else in her life on the down low or it just maybe time to part ways. There's nothing like being sexually frustrated. But, if in the beginning she acted like this and barely wanted sex, then you two really weren't too compatible from the start. Sex is a natural drug all in itself. It relieves stress, not to mention anger and frustration. And its a good way to excerise. Men or women both alike need to listen to this. We all need sex in our lives. If you aren't giving it to your spouse be careful cause someone else will!!!! Especially if you love them and want to keep them. I know alot of women won't agree with that, but there are some men out there who prefer not to have sex alot, so it goes for whoever.

 

[devilgoob]

Sometimes you need find someone who cares enough to move up and down rapidly on your junk to truly appreciate the brevity of true love.

Really, some people really arent compatible in sex drives and do split because of it.

There is not only the sexual release, but to deny someone something that they want like that...is really cutting of their balls. Some women dont see why we need it so much. Males try to spread their genes, females get prego...those are our genes and your brain can only fight them to a point. It is more important that you think! I cant explain it...

When you cant fuck, youre not a man, not in your DNA's mind.

 

[Guest]

try the medical route ,,,
take erect penis in right hand ,hold 1 picture of bitch in the other ,add a dose of lube(optional)and shake vigorously till sexual frustration is over ,restart pestering as soon as penis requires more medication

 

[Buddle]

This is a good topic.Kudos to Grass Roots for being comfortable enough to bring it up.
IMO constant pressure kills the passion spontaniety often brings to lovemaking.I personally would have a really hard time climaxing if I knew my partner didn't want it in the first place.
I certainly don't think its unreasonable to want sex when you're in a committed relationship.Sounds like communication and compromise are in store for you and your lady GrassRoots..Good luck..BL

 

[accessndx]

You need to do what I did: flip the tables 'round. I've been with the same gal for 16 years....when I was in my early 20's my sex drive was off the damn chart. I would pursue and chap her endlessly for sex.....and got frustrating denials. One day I turned around and basically said that it was uncool for her to be the only determining factor in the pursuit of sex. I warned her that someday she might be on the flipside of the coin and wouldn't like it. Well it's honestly funny that now we're in our mid to late 30's. My wife's sex drive is off the chart, and mine has slowed to a crawl.
Now guess who determines when and if we have sex. I find it ironic, and I never cease to mention it whenever it suits my evil streak.

I think the best thing I could have done at that juncture in my life where I was frustrated was to pull it all back....pretend that it didn't matter......then it will occur to her that something is amiss...and voila! You may find that you'll get what you're looking for.

These days I literally have to beat my wife off with a stick. I find myself throwing her a bone whenever I'm not stressed out about work....or other b.s.. My wife is still attractive, funny and everything she was back then....she's just sexually starved....and since I don't really have that same testosterone driven wave that comes in your late teens to mid 20's....I'm in the driver's seat.

Someone once said that there's a certain "peace" that develops with age....and that you're no longer a slave to your hormones. I would have to agree.

These days when we have sex, it's mutual, enjoyable....and has matured to where it should be.

One other thing: the romance thing is infuriating sometimes. I know chicks depend on it, but there is something to be said about having sloppy, dirty, impromptu sex. For women to become dependent on romance is ridiculous....and will curtail enounters. How many guys want to come in and throw down flowers, put on the candles and all the b.s. just to get off? It's alot of pomp and circumstance. When I do throw in romance, it doesn't come with a price. I do throw my wife flowers, take her out to dinner, hit her with the foot massage......but it usually doesn't end in sex, or at least doesn't have to. She gave me that whole schpeel about "romance" a long time ago, and I told her "that's nice....but if that has to occur every time, you better find don juan".

I always see gals giving this "romance" advice tip like it's something guys don't know. We know about it....it's just really time consuming and superflous for an every day bit. See how much romance your guy will pile on you if you actually give in once and awhile and just flip over and let him pound you from behind.....

Relationships are a give and take. Sometimes people think it's just about giving or taking.....it's both. Guys aren't big romance fans....that's why you don't see us watching Lifetime television.....crying when we see puppies...and reading Harlequin novels....

Our needs are simpler than that, and don't need packaging.

Chicks think their guys want to see them in sexy lingerie.....I could give a crap less about what you're wearing....I just want to see it in a pile on the floor with your heels to the moon. We don't need warm baths and sexy music......we don't need massages....we don't need chocolates.....or pillow talk. It's a two way street, but you don't really hear much about the other side of it. That's at least 50% of the problem.

Anyway, that's my freaking rant.

 

[devilgoob]

i like the previous by hazyfontazy, whack it to some foreign girls or something

 

[GET MO]

I had a girl once who liked to be raped, she only get off if you force her... I didnt like havetn ta do that shit, seemed too wierd to me. Then she'd have an attitude if I didnt rape her, I think she had some mental issues from her past or somethin, she was molested when she was younger. I dont condone or approve of rape, just sayin some woman do...

 

[B.C.]

This one time, at band camp... hehehe

This one time, at band camp... hehehe

Communication is the key.....( even if it is jus talking dirty! ) lol Then again, there's always rufies thing too. J/k Good Luck ! BC

 

[9Lives]

You need to do what I did: flip the tables 'round. I've been with the same gal for 16 years....when I was in my early 20's my sex drive was off the damn chart. I would pursue and chap her endlessly for sex.....and got frustrating denials. One day I turned around and basically said that it was uncool for her to be the only determining factor in the pursuit of sex. I warned her that someday she might be on the flipside of the coin and wouldn't like it. Well it's honestly funny that now we're in our mid to late 30's. My wife's sex drive is off the chart, and mine has slowed to a crawl.
Now guess who determines when and if we have sex. I find it ironic, and I never cease to mention it whenever it suits my evil streak.

I think the best thing I could have done at that juncture in my life where I was frustrated was to pull it all back....pretend that it didn't matter......then it will occur to her that something is amiss...and voila! You may find that you'll get what you're looking for.

These days I literally have to beat my wife off with a stick. I find myself throwing her a bone whenever I'm not stressed out about work....or other b.s.. My wife is still attractive, funny and everything she was back then....she's just sexually starved....and since I don't really have that same testosterone driven wave that comes in your late teens to mid 20's....I'm in the driver's seat.

Someone once said that there's a certain "peace" that develops with age....and that you're no longer a slave to your hormones. I would have to agree.

These days when we have sex, it's mutual, enjoyable....and has matured to where it should be.

One other thing: the romance thing is infuriating sometimes. I know chicks depend on it, but there is something to be said about having sloppy, dirty, impromptu sex. For women to become dependent on romance is ridiculous....and will curtail enounters. How many guys want to come in and throw down flowers, put on the candles and all the b.s. just to get off? It's alot of pomp and circumstance. When I do throw in romance, it doesn't come with a price. I do throw my wife flowers, take her out to dinner, hit her with the foot massage......but it usually doesn't end in sex, or at least doesn't have to. She gave me that whole schpeel about "romance" a long time ago, and I told her "that's nice....but if that has to occur every time, you better find don juan".

I always see gals giving this "romance" advice tip like it's something guys don't know. We know about it....it's just really time consuming and superflous for an every day bit. See how much romance your guy will pile on you if you actually give in once and awhile and just flip over and let him pound you from behind.....

Relationships are a give and take. Sometimes people think it's just about giving or taking.....it's both. Guys aren't big romance fans....that's why you don't see us watching Lifetime television.....crying when we see puppies...and reading Harlequin novels....

Our needs are simpler than that, and don't need packaging.

Chicks think their guys want to see them in sexy lingerie.....I could give a crap less about what you're wearing....I just want to see it in a pile on the floor with your heels to the moon. We don't need warm baths and sexy music......we don't need massages....we don't need chocolates.....or pillow talk. It's a two way street, but you don't really hear much about the other side of it. That's at least 50% of the problem.

Anyway, that's my freaking rant.

Don't take this wrong..but part of your post really reminded me of someone. LOL

Anyways..i have the exact same problem with the thread autor. And it sucks ass! Im a pretty decent looking guy too. Never had any problems with girls. I had regular fuck buddies when i was single. Now i sometime think im just wasting away waiting...Fucking Bullshit! I want sex 3 times a day every day! LOL though i know we are just different and i can't really hold it against her..

 

[Verite]

Sounds like she just needs a little muskrat love.

 

[Merfolk]

im 21, and ive been there - 4 years so far, i told her from the get go i want sex, and alot - its a mutual thing, i love foreplay, if you wont give it to me, ill get it elsewhere - (not so blunt like that but yea.) sometimes i feel when we do stuff, she is just doing it to please me, and i feel that the *passion* or her *wanting* to do it isnt there..and i get turned off -



I 2 years into with her, i flipped the script, and denied her ( even though i wanted it so bad, id just beat off right after words ) Gave her, her own medicine - and told her its how i felt...


Sometimes i still feel that way - Ah i hate these kind of threads

 

[GrassRoots]

I'll tell ya, I have flipped it on her in the past a few times and denied her sex just to let her see how it feels and she acts just like I do, like a bratty little kid who isn't getting what he/she wants. And to think, she's only had to deal with a few rejections from me over the past 6 years while I've been denied hundreds of times I feel a bit better about my position on this now thanks to the support of a lot of you. Sounds like it may not be wrong for me to get upset in the situation. Although I've been really trying to keep a cool level head about it as getting mad never really helps. I'm still waiting to start a good conversation with her about it but I really think I've come to the decision that if we can't get on the same page that it's not going to work for us.

 

[Vetus Fossor]

Buy yourself a rubber doll, name it after your girl friends least favorite girl friend. Let her catch you one time looking at the doll with lust in your eyes. Problem solved one way or the other. lol
Hi kid...how have you been? Found work yet?

 

[GET MO]

The problem is men are supposed to have multiple wives, damn american and new world laws!