well how do you figure? exactly? because i think i'm pretty self-depreciating, and i also sort of agree with that...but i'm trying? so how does that work into that equation?
ArcticBlast
ArcticBlast
Save ArcticBlast! A YummyBud Post
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dude, that is pretty hardcore
I also have to say 3 kids at 23, you are kind of stuck man, you know what will happen if you get kicked out or leave, you will have even more financial woes, than you do now
Judging by your post, you seem to care about her still, and you have not done anything yet, it was more of a fantasy.
Eventually she will get over it, my gf caught me flirtin online years ago, I hardly ever hear about it anymore
Bushwacker420
Member
Dude is she hot?? Hey, I'mm just yanking your chain. Just take care of the kids. I got divorced after almost 20 years of marriage and it sucked... and still does. I mean think about losing all you ever worked for, and all you ever had... cuz man i lost a lot... my son, my dogs.. my house... my cars...credit...I can go on, I have time. Please take care of your kids the best way you can, it will make a difference in your life. I don't get along with my ex, and my son won't talk to me ... I pay my child support.. but it's like wtf for? The only thing keeping me going is I have the best woman in the world... sorry guys but it's true. Take care of your kids. You will be glad you did.. be a good dad.
I added more to my last post, if you're replying to me.
Self-deprecation (more likely, self-loathing) and narcissism aren't mutually exclusive. It's your guilt turned inward negatively. Guilt means you might have a conscience and feelings, that's a good sign.
p.s. I hate facebook, all your private conversations out in the open for the GF/marketers/social engineers/authorities to see.
litebuzz
Member
hey dude...you don't want to be taken any advice from yummybud(no offense yum) but well come on...i don't need to explain.
sooo....just reading more..sorry i missed this part earlier...i know i sounded mean...i'm really not and i'm not a manhater...lol. i just learned in my mid twenties(i'm twice your age...married like 13 yrs) that i would never be taken in by a liar and cheat.
did i read that you haven't really cheated on the mother of your children ... as in no hot beef injection for real...just flirting...no penetration, right? ok, then i totally think you have more than the tools to do the right thing. if you've made it thru 3 kids without cheating then you sound sincere enough...so i'm pulling for you dude!
oh and another tip...not sure what goes down when you folks argue...but learn to fight nice. i know it sounds silly but while your mad and wanting to call her a fkn caaa---vagina...picture her gone from this life forever right after the words left your mouth. that's an icky feeling....makes ya wanna speak nicer. lol.
now...with regards to your needs...you're right, you do have emotional and physical needs. and i totally think partners should never deprive each other of that pleasure...well not for more than a few days...sometimes stuff happens. but by no means should you have to go weeks without nooky. this is where counseling will help...a good therapist will point out both sides. there's always two sides and both sides need work...its never just one way.
sooo....just reading more..sorry i missed this part earlier...i know i sounded mean...i'm really not and i'm not a manhater...lol. i just learned in my mid twenties(i'm twice your age...married like 13 yrs) that i would never be taken in by a liar and cheat.
did i read that you haven't really cheated on the mother of your children ... as in no hot beef injection for real...just flirting...no penetration, right? ok, then i totally think you have more than the tools to do the right thing. if you've made it thru 3 kids without cheating then you sound sincere enough...so i'm pulling for you dude!
oh and another tip...not sure what goes down when you folks argue...but learn to fight nice. i know it sounds silly but while your mad and wanting to call her a fkn caaa---vagina...picture her gone from this life forever right after the words left your mouth. that's an icky feeling....makes ya wanna speak nicer. lol.
now...with regards to your needs...you're right, you do have emotional and physical needs. and i totally think partners should never deprive each other of that pleasure...well not for more than a few days...sometimes stuff happens. but by no means should you have to go weeks without nooky. this is where counseling will help...a good therapist will point out both sides. there's always two sides and both sides need work...its never just one way.
Yeah that part actually makes a lot of sense dude. I have a lot of guilt that i was assuming was like regret or something, i dont know. But honestly, most of the answers/advice seems to be pointing to a couple of main points: quit being a douche, be good to your children, and grow the fuck up...which i think is excellent advice for everyone!
ArcticBlast
ArcticBlast
oh litebuzz thanks! i was like somewhat taken aback when i read your post, but it set this thread going in the right direction, so i cant complain!
but you're correct, i never cheated on her. i just compulsively (and chronically) talk online and stuff with girls. sometimes its previous girlfriends or hookups and stuff, which is a big no-no. and like i said before, whether you do it or not, its kind of the same if you get caught for it...only its more embarrassing, i think
i'm glad people are rooting for me though...because i honestly DON'T think i'm a TERRIBLE person...in fact i think i'm pretty nice and give people the benefit of the doubt usually... but we all have flaws, and mine is definitely a wandering eye. But i'm working on it, and that's what's important to me, now
ArcticBlast
but you're correct, i never cheated on her. i just compulsively (and chronically) talk online and stuff with girls. sometimes its previous girlfriends or hookups and stuff, which is a big no-no. and like i said before, whether you do it or not, its kind of the same if you get caught for it...only its more embarrassing, i think
i'm glad people are rooting for me though...because i honestly DON'T think i'm a TERRIBLE person...in fact i think i'm pretty nice and give people the benefit of the doubt usually... but we all have flaws, and mine is definitely a wandering eye. But i'm working on it, and that's what's important to me, now
ArcticBlast
I happen to be a man, and men love women. It is built into us from birth to "spread our seed". Its not uncommon for a male to want or like other women, we check out anything worthwhile that walks by. We are dogs in heat, leg humpers. Normally the alpha male, displays dominance and pases on his dominant genes. This is how the weak get weeded out. What you are having is a natural tendency, in the name of love some look past their natural tendencies. I believe as humans we are meant for compainonship, but that doesn't mean the alpha male doesn't get to see what the heard has to offer.
You have to make the choice to sacrifice your natural wants and needs for love and happiness with one woman, or find a bisexual girlfriend who doesn't mind if you get some strange from time to time. Love and sex are two different worlds, men can have sex with other women and not let their emotions get involved alot easier then women. You should have everything you want in life, have your cake and eat it to. You only get one shot at this, make the best of it.
Just my viewpoint, not the standard way of seeing things in most societys these days. I am a mammal and well aware of it, look at human tendencies from an outsiders viewpoint and you will see we are no different then most other animals.
Bark Bark!
You have to make the choice to sacrifice your natural wants and needs for love and happiness with one woman, or find a bisexual girlfriend who doesn't mind if you get some strange from time to time. Love and sex are two different worlds, men can have sex with other women and not let their emotions get involved alot easier then women. You should have everything you want in life, have your cake and eat it to. You only get one shot at this, make the best of it.
Just my viewpoint, not the standard way of seeing things in most societys these days. I am a mammal and well aware of it, look at human tendencies from an outsiders viewpoint and you will see we are no different then most other animals.
Bark Bark!
Bushwacker420
Member
Don't think you're alone, because we all have room for improvement... me especially,lol.
Pure, i totally understand the "zoological" arguement, seriously... that's been my rationale/reasoning/demise since i was young. That's definitely going to be the hardest part...to get past the whole "wanting every woman" thing...
honestly, i haven't been with a HUGE amount of women, and i thought that i was somehow "missing out" on my youth if i didn't fuck every willing girl...but there's gotta be something wrong with that, right? i mean, if everyone was like that, Brave New World wouldn't be science fiction, it'd be nonfiction.
I don't know, there's something about all this that has got me thinking differently...
but i sincerely appreciate ALL the opinions given so far!
and bushwacker, dont feel bad, nobody's perfect... no person is completely evil, or completely good...and it'd be equally weird if there was
ArcticBlast
honestly, i haven't been with a HUGE amount of women, and i thought that i was somehow "missing out" on my youth if i didn't fuck every willing girl...but there's gotta be something wrong with that, right? i mean, if everyone was like that, Brave New World wouldn't be science fiction, it'd be nonfiction.
I don't know, there's something about all this that has got me thinking differently...
but i sincerely appreciate ALL the opinions given so far!
and bushwacker, dont feel bad, nobody's perfect... no person is completely evil, or completely good...and it'd be equally weird if there was
ArcticBlast
Bushwacker420
Member
ArcticBlast, I'm pretty good with things right now. Like i said i have a great woman, and I'm making some changes in my life.... for the better. She has a great kid that needs a dad, and calls me dad, so I'm good. No I don't think you or anyone else around here is evil... and I know I'm not... usually. Life just kind of sucks sometimes, and we just have to do the best we can. PM me sometime if you want, Heck I always need another friend. Take care and grow safe.
YOU pm ME once you hit 50!
yeah man, nobody's perfect, but let's STRIVE for perfection!
ArcticBlast
yeah man, nobody's perfect, but let's STRIVE for perfection!
ArcticBlast
Bushwacker420
Member
Hey I'm working on my 50,lol. I never wanted to be perfect but wouldn't that be something?? Lmao
well supposedly jesus was perfect, and look where that got him? i stick to decent and good, thank you... lol
ArcticBlast
ArcticBlast
Bushwacker420
Member
Hmm well maybe good and decent would be good for now,lol.
S
sparkjumper
Did I read somewhere back there that I could hump a womens leg and she would appreciate it?
i just thought of this, but i told myself when i was like 16/17 that'd i'd never be a cheater and i'd be a good dad and such, because my dad dipped out on my mom and brother and myself for a younger woman.. weird how history repeats itself
well at least i realize it now!
ArcticBlast
well at least i realize it now!
ArcticBlast
haha what? sharkjumper you need to find that and quote it
ArcticBlast
edit: bigD, that's awesome! see, i cant distiguish playful flirting/banter and attraction/getting hit on.. i'm retarded, i know lol. and i brought that point up earlier with the girl...its like i cant flirt or play around with her anymore...that's no excuse i know, just an observation
ArcticBlast
edit: bigD, that's awesome! see, i cant distiguish playful flirting/banter and attraction/getting hit on.. i'm retarded, i know lol. and i brought that point up earlier with the girl...its like i cant flirt or play around with her anymore...that's no excuse i know, just an observation
You really have to look out for that. It IS very strange how that happens. You can hate how your Dad is.... but become just like him without realizing it.
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