-
Happy Birthday ICMag! Been 20 years since Gypsy Nirvana created the forum! We are celebrating with a 4/20 Giveaway and by launching a new Patreon tier called "420club". You can read more here.
-
Important notice: ICMag's T.O.U. has been updated. Please review it here. For your convenience, it is also available in the main forum menu, under 'Quick Links"!
Relationship Advice
- Thread starter whodi
- Start date
lotowork777
Member
Leave the relationship allready. There are so many chicks out there. Here in Norcal you see hot chicks with fuckin nerds all day long. So like me, you have a chance of meeting someone great with no baggage. You will have mad anxiety as a thinking man if you never leave her. It was her decision to have three kids.
whodi.....talking from experience.....a woman who has three kids is the same as a woman who has no kids...at least as a person
the most important question is ''do you really love her?'' and ''does she love you back?''
if you love each other....then let the past be the past....start from where you are now and continue to create your relationship with her daily...concerning the kids...for many people this is a very tough question...not everyone can handle it for a long time
but if you really ''love'' her and you think she is that ''special'' person.....don't be scared....communicate to her all your thoughts whatever they are and let the chips fall where they fall.....don't keep it inside of you
because if you keep it bottled up.....it will all eat you alive from the inside and most likely destroy your relationship
i'm 37 now......and after being married to a my wife for 13 years....i do not regret it in any way....and she had two kids when we met from another relationship
if you stay focused on creating a result (a genuinely loving, caring and supportive relationship with this woman, for example) and see where you stand at this moment......the actions that you must take will appear before you...and you will know what the right thing to do is
anyway...hope this helps...later
the most important question is ''do you really love her?'' and ''does she love you back?''
if you love each other....then let the past be the past....start from where you are now and continue to create your relationship with her daily...concerning the kids...for many people this is a very tough question...not everyone can handle it for a long time
but if you really ''love'' her and you think she is that ''special'' person.....don't be scared....communicate to her all your thoughts whatever they are and let the chips fall where they fall.....don't keep it inside of you
because if you keep it bottled up.....it will all eat you alive from the inside and most likely destroy your relationship
i'm 37 now......and after being married to a my wife for 13 years....i do not regret it in any way....and she had two kids when we met from another relationship
if you stay focused on creating a result (a genuinely loving, caring and supportive relationship with this woman, for example) and see where you stand at this moment......the actions that you must take will appear before you...and you will know what the right thing to do is
anyway...hope this helps...later
yukino_asano
Member
Think about her and what she went throught.
She didnt choose to be molested.
get over it in your head. Cause that is what is hurting.
If you cannot accept the past and get over it. then you should move on. Because that would be hurting yourself and her.
Good luck.
IMHO<
It's very fucked up, the number of women that have been raped or molested.
She didnt choose to be molested.
get over it in your head. Cause that is what is hurting.
If you cannot accept the past and get over it. then you should move on. Because that would be hurting yourself and her.
Good luck.
IMHO<
It's very fucked up, the number of women that have been raped or molested.
stealthballer
Active member
walk away and stay away
you won't but you are setting yourself for a shitty life experience.
you won't but you are setting yourself for a shitty life experience.
DonBong
Member
Yes U got to listen yourself, what U want and what U need.. Dont sit and think too much about the past! and it should be that if She is ok with the thing, then U should be ok with it too. It must of been hell for her when it happened and she have done the work going thru the whole thing and learned a way to smile, live and love. If U make her happy and satisfited, and she is enjoying life and loving U... damn, U should be a very proud man. But is it what U really want? I see U as a one lucky guy.. peace and love
stealthballer
Active member
whodi said:
how many girls have you been in love with?
as a sidenote, can I just mention her being sexually abused in the past may have something to do with why she likes the kinds of sex she does?
3kids=how many fathers?
do you have a history of wanting to rescue girls?
If you see a lost puppy dog with a limp do you feel the need to help it out?
walk away its not gonna end well.
Last edited:
stealthballer
Active member
Its been 5 months, that isn't real love just yet, real love is the 80 year old couple still holding hands in the mall. Not saying it can't get there just that I don't think it can.
This may well be the first "love" of your life. The first time you felt this way doesn't make it the end all be all just the first time you felt it.
Not to be a dick man, but you know this girl just as much as she has let you.
No one knows anyways after 5 months, I am an 18 months kinda guy myself.
Question: Discuss the kids and how soon you were introduced to them, where is their father and how dos he react to you being around?
Do you live with her?(sry I read the original post a couple days ago
Do the kids live with you?
This may well be the first "love" of your life. The first time you felt this way doesn't make it the end all be all just the first time you felt it.
Not to be a dick man, but you know this girl just as much as she has let you.
No one knows anyways after 5 months, I am an 18 months kinda guy myself.
Question: Discuss the kids and how soon you were introduced to them, where is their father and how dos he react to you being around?
Do you live with her?(sry I read the original post a couple days ago
Do the kids live with you?
stealthballer
Active member
the timeframe is about when you really know someone man, you can't really know someone in 5 months.
You are in love with her image to you, you can't possibly know her well enough at this point for it to be more than that.
I deal with damaged people pretty much daily, I have dated girls with baggage, the one fact in this is not once with any of the girls I dated did their past even enter into my mind as something that bothered me.
You need to listen to that part of your gut too, not just that part that is screaming out to love her.
Don't treat her too well man if you want to keep her.
That statement won't make much sense to you but with time it just might.
About the kids, my ex thinks I am too immature to handle things much like your GF thinks her ex isn't. Its really easy for girls to put all the blame on BF in the end just as it is with us. She had 3 kids with the guy, what? he just poof was a bad dad after the third one? Why keep squirting out kids then?
the story isn't as innocent as you convey it and I suspect as she has conveyed it to you.
The only thing you need to worry about though is if her past bothered you even for a moment its not fair to her or those kids for you to be there anymore.
You are in love with her image to you, you can't possibly know her well enough at this point for it to be more than that.
I deal with damaged people pretty much daily, I have dated girls with baggage, the one fact in this is not once with any of the girls I dated did their past even enter into my mind as something that bothered me.
You need to listen to that part of your gut too, not just that part that is screaming out to love her.
Don't treat her too well man if you want to keep her.
That statement won't make much sense to you but with time it just might.
About the kids, my ex thinks I am too immature to handle things much like your GF thinks her ex isn't. Its really easy for girls to put all the blame on BF in the end just as it is with us. She had 3 kids with the guy, what? he just poof was a bad dad after the third one? Why keep squirting out kids then?
the story isn't as innocent as you convey it and I suspect as she has conveyed it to you.
The only thing you need to worry about though is if her past bothered you even for a moment its not fair to her or those kids for you to be there anymore.
stealthballer
Active member
keep her kids for 24 hours by yourself
kids are a huge undertaking and she was probably the main caregiver for those kids when they were together. Poof they split and he should become father of the year when the dynamic of the relationship was likely never that way before?
how long after they split did you meet her?
here is how little my ex's past bothered me, found out she had taken part in more than one orgy. I was shocked when I heard but then I thought about it and decided it was kinda neat, I mean how many gangbangers have I met in my life? Only one that admitted to me. Never bothered me, and oh by the way, I am the most conservative person you will meet short of a priest or nun when it comes to sex. I don't believe in frivolous sex, pass judgement on those that do 9 times out of ten. I thought it was cool with her. That's how I knew I loved her.
2 kids later she turned out just as nutty as my gut shoulda told me but I was too much in love and my gut was right there for the ride.
your gut is telling you something that I really think you should listen to
kids are a huge undertaking and she was probably the main caregiver for those kids when they were together. Poof they split and he should become father of the year when the dynamic of the relationship was likely never that way before?
how long after they split did you meet her?
here is how little my ex's past bothered me, found out she had taken part in more than one orgy. I was shocked when I heard but then I thought about it and decided it was kinda neat, I mean how many gangbangers have I met in my life? Only one that admitted to me. Never bothered me, and oh by the way, I am the most conservative person you will meet short of a priest or nun when it comes to sex. I don't believe in frivolous sex, pass judgement on those that do 9 times out of ten. I thought it was cool with her. That's how I knew I loved her.
2 kids later she turned out just as nutty as my gut shoulda told me but I was too much in love and my gut was right there for the ride.
your gut is telling you something that I really think you should listen to
Last edited:
stealthballer
Active member
or you were her first chance to get out
I gotta study for a test I have to take in the morning, but man alarms are screaming in my head that you need to walk away.
You don't want to leave and I understand that but man, this isn't gonna go well for you.
I will be back later today or tomorrow, for the love of pete don't marry her between now and then. Assuming she is even divorced yet...
I gotta study for a test I have to take in the morning, but man alarms are screaming in my head that you need to walk away.
You don't want to leave and I understand that but man, this isn't gonna go well for you.
I will be back later today or tomorrow, for the love of pete don't marry her between now and then. Assuming she is even divorced yet...
whodi.....what is the main result you want in your relationship?
if you are not getting married to her.....than its ok to date and be in love with her....even if you move in and live and don't get married it is still ok
in the most extreme case...even if you get married to her.....you will still always have a choice to end the relationship if it is not what you will really want
so do not base your actions on how many kids she has....or with how many different men she had them with....or anything else ''shallow'' like that
the most important thing is do you really ''like'' her as a person...are you in love with her? is she in love with you?
if it is real it will last...and you will be more or less happy......if it is not real believe me....you will know it...within a short amount of time
from your posts it seems to me that you like her......so just try to create a genuinely loving relationship with her where you care for her and her kids and support them in their lives
a relationship has so much more chance of being rewarding if you enter it to ''give'' something rather than trying to ''take''....know what i mean?
if you are not getting married to her.....than its ok to date and be in love with her....even if you move in and live and don't get married it is still ok
in the most extreme case...even if you get married to her.....you will still always have a choice to end the relationship if it is not what you will really want
so do not base your actions on how many kids she has....or with how many different men she had them with....or anything else ''shallow'' like that
the most important thing is do you really ''like'' her as a person...are you in love with her? is she in love with you?
if it is real it will last...and you will be more or less happy......if it is not real believe me....you will know it...within a short amount of time
from your posts it seems to me that you like her......so just try to create a genuinely loving relationship with her where you care for her and her kids and support them in their lives
a relationship has so much more chance of being rewarding if you enter it to ''give'' something rather than trying to ''take''....know what i mean?
Last edited:
stealthballer
Active member
southflorida said:
lol
kids aren't ever about shallow or not, they are people, they effect things.
racial discrimination is shallow, caring about how many kids someone has is being prudent.
of course kids are not shallow......but as i wrote ''basing'' your actions on how many kids someone has imo is shallow
