Probation Blues

[OvergrowingKiwi]

cmon bro.. This is childs play.. Your'e old enough to have a son but you can't deal with probation?

Urine test...Fake Urine..Heat Pack.. Heavy Exercise.. Drinking water..

You made a mistake.. you had a weak moment and toked up.. No biggie
Theres still so many options available to you. Getting down wont do any good for your situation.

If you don't start making better choices you will end up back in jail eating noodle food. fuck jail.

 

[designer]

cmon bro.. This is childs play.. Your'e old enough to have a son but you can't deal with probation?

Urine test...Fake Urine..Heat Pack.. Heavy Exercise.. Drinking water..

You made a mistake.. you had a weak moment and toked up.. No biggie
Theres still so many options available to you. Getting down wont do any good for your situation.

If you don't start making better choices you will end up back in jail eating noodle food. fuck jail.

Yeah I have a plan when they call me down. The fellow is pretty close to me during testing, but in a pinch i think I can pull this off. And I only toked a bit. A week has gone by already. I am a pretty lean guy, more muscle than fat and I work out every day. I am sure this will be fine. I do a test before go in to see how that looks. If it's bad I will use plan B (Fake urine). It will be okay this time. I am just looking at a lot of this ahead of me and hate being told to not smoke.

 

[SmokinErb]

Oh shit I did this.


Any of you guys Make a Spread in Jail?

Guys would all pitch in food to make this thing called a spread just about every night. Main ingredient is Ramen noodles. After that anything goes. You make the noodles with tap water so they are cold when serving. You scoop it all up with tortillas they sell at the commissary. That was the big event. Guys would save rice and beans from our meals to throw in, sausage and corn chips (a spicy variety). I joked about making that when I get home. It is not for those watching their sodium.

We make something similar only it's called a "slam" here. Same idea, Ramen is the main ingredient, and then any and everything goes in it. summer sausage, beef sticks, chili from the trays, chips from commissary, hot sauce, cheese, whatever you can think of.

No tortilla chips though. Scoop that shit in a bowl and eat it. I still make 'em sometimes. They're good.

 

[SmokinErb]

Find a way to buy some time and dilute your piss. Tell him you're out of town but you'll be there as soon as possible and start chugging water. Dilute your shit. Piss once before you go and give a later sample. It should be straight up clear.

 

[HempKat]

They say it is bad luck to take anything out.

You do know they just tell you that because they want your stuff right?


Seriously though, there is no good safe way to use and do probation with urinalysis. Some things may work sometimes but nothing works 100% all of the time and is practical/realistic to do for 2-5 years (average length of probation).

The problem as you likely already know is that marijuana is detectable in urine for a month or more. Other drugs you might get away with because they only stick around for days. 3 weeks from now they could still violate you for the one hash slip you mention.

Alot of these probation offices in various states are somewhat understanding in that they realize it's difficult for an addict, fresh out of jail to stay clean. So often times they'll cut you some slack and not violate you on the first dirty as long as the subsequent dirties show the ovrall level declining and eventually there are no more dirties.

The best thing to do at this point is just stay clean until your off probation. I know it sucks and it'll probably mean avoiding your friends some but if they truely are friends they'll understand and respect where you're coming from. In fact if they're true friends they should help to keep you from giving in when you feel like giving in.

 

[greenmatter]

you already know what it is like when they get you in the system now do what you gotta do and get yourself out of it ... sucks yes .... choice no

 

[Hammerhead]

why where you in jail. First time offenders(cannabis) with no record= Probation at most ,

I guess they might have harsher penelties in none med states. Im sure The south would bend you over

 

[dxco]

Jail sucks -even worse than prison.
When you go to the drug assessment, LIE! DO NOT TELL THEM SHIT.
My wife took their little sample test & it said she was an alcoholic & drug addict! She doesn't drink (wine on passover, champaigne on new years), and smokes about a gram per year. -If she's got a drug problem, everybody does. Any why not. If I was charging $300 to see how much more money I could scam the state for, I wouldn't be turning away my qualified leads. Of course everybody's an addict -send more money, I'll open another treatment center.
If you were busted for DUI #3 or some repeat offense it may be difficult to act like you're an alter-boy but try to see what the assessor has against you -they probably don't know anything about you or your past "sins" against the government so you can tell them anything. Be careful!
Probation sucks! I had a three year "special parole" term in the 80's with all the trimmings -BUT, they only tested for real drugs -Not for herb so I was cool. If they do test for pot & you can't get a medical card but like to smoke you might be in trouble. Just try & pay off your fines & get off paper ASAP before it becomes a way of life -It's no way to live...
And if you're out doing shit that you deserve to be in with those toothless tweekers, knock it off & get a fuckin' job (I'm not talking about drug or herbal type offences but stealing & being a dirt-bag).
Good Luck to you!

PS: One more thing... The worst thing about those piss tests that check for THC is that herbal stays in your system for 30 days while the drugs that can really harm you are gone in 12 to 72 hours. How fucked up is that? It's easier for a crack-whore to conceal their use than a 4:20 smoker who smokes to take the edge off after a days work -which is better for your health than drinking a martini (by far).
DX

 

[SmokinErb]

In my experience with the probation system I have never once "randomly" been called to come in for a urine analysis. They have always occurred on a regularly scheduled monthly meeting. The way I always cheated the system was simple - cut back on smoking. I'd smoke following my meeting for a day or two. Then stay clean for the next 3 weeks or so until my probation meeting.

You can be clean, smoke a joint, it it will likely be out of your system within 48 hours. THC takes time to build up and be stored in fat. Smoke a joint 2 days in a row, and it'll take longer. Smoke a joint everyday for a week... good luck.

As much as I love cannabis, it's not worth going to jail over. Stay clean. Remove any tolerance you have, and then when you're allowed to smoke again? It'll be like your first time again.

@ dxco - That'w what I thought I needed to do as well. My hired attorney advised me otherwise. First he advised that I should get my own drug assessment done. Around here anyway, the probation department is the one that does the assessment - you can see how that's bad. So I had to pay more money to get my assessment done at a local mental health office. He advised to I be honest with my answers. His logic was that "they've heard it all, and sincerity will pay off." After they did the assessment they told me they were going to recommend IOP treatment, basically drug counseling. I started treatment on my own accord without being court ordered to on his advise as well. I get sentenced next week, so we'll see how it all turns out.

However, if you have an extensive drug history, you may want to discuss it with your lawyer, while I have experimented it was years ago and rather insignificant. Some words from my therapist/counselor "I don't think you're addicted to marijuana, or any other substance for that matter. I think you're addicted to growing it."

He was spot on lol.

 

[RoachClip]

So I did my time and my head is still reeling. Never did I ever meet a bigger bunch of assholes. I told them jail would not be so bad if it weren't for all the damn criminals. I also told them they were all ruining my whole jail experience. I swear every moment I was there was long and just about every encounter was close to a fight. A bunch of toothless maniacs that feel they need to defend some kind of honor all the time. Thank God I didn't hit someone or I would still be there.

Dude first off to me your jail experience is from your head, not from being in a federal or state because if you talked shit by bragging you told other inmates the prisons would be not so bad? - wtf?? have you ever did a bid or stay in a jail were it smelled like roses and had fields of lollipops..

Do you know what the prison term for joint, weed is? (stick) lag - a ese who has been doing time for a while, Jolt - i got a jolt meaning long sentence..

You think inmates are all toothless who have to defend or feel they have to defend some kind of honor, vato your ass has never hit any prison and you talk to nice and type to neat more like a kid or person with a imagination because you stick with your own race and area of the yard and chill with others who have no problems with you unless you disrespect them..

You say you worked in a kitchen, if you did time you could have said i worked in a I.K. - Inmate Kitchen, sorry to be the bad guy here but this pisses me off and to fuckin talk smack and call celly's toothless, dude we have more pride even if it's issued gear then you have for coming up with this story..

I'm packing a bowl and can't wait for your next story to share with us that you had in prison and maybe you can express to murderer's, gangbangers, their ruining your prison sentence because if you cried like this inside you would be a PC case, Protective Custody - meaning weak or untrustworthy!

Peace & Puffs Amigo...

 

[Nadicus_Maximus]

I almost hate to ask this question, but what are the odds of getting ass fucked by some bull queers?

 

[CANNATOPIA]

Best of luck to you.