Post op issues:

[buzzmobile]

I forgive Loggins and Messina for House at Pooh Corner.

 

[moose eater]

I forgive Loggins and Messina for House at Pooh Corner.

Thanks buzz. Lots of other pertinent tunes on that Lp, including some political commentary about the repetition in what sorts of folks get elected or seek office; "Same Old... (something or other), in a rare moment, the title escapes me. When the infection was raging, and likely present in my blood more than today, I was a bit foggier.

Still get spotting pink urine (blood, coming past the catheter. The supplements I've restarted (only those 'heavy-hitters' re. immune function/antioxidant, and related) turn the urine BP green-ish in color; high point of the day, not seeing blood or concentrated orange.

Still losing tissue through the catheter tube.

Trying not to bear down when sitting on the toilet, but during spasms, well... When in Rome, .....

I reluctantly see my PC Doc today, and have already mentioned to her via telephone the insult imparted when I was being checked in to the ER, and her chortling at my insistence that there were occurrences in this case that she's unaware of.

My intention, having heard her and another member of 'the thin white smock line' (similar to the thin blue line, and equally corrupt and damaging) and secret handshake club (where the Hippocratic Oath, like the Bill of Rights, has taken a back seat to the REAL priorities of that club), who've stated something to the effect of "It would be a shame to see this go that way" (i.e., legal action for medical malpractice), will be to assertively put the shoe on the other foot for them; "what if it was YOUR week+ of complaints after surgery, of things not being right, pointing directly to post-op issues, to AT LEAST include infection, and wasting over a month of your rehab time cleaning up someone else's negligent mess, while in agony and more debilitated than you -would've- been, waiting to get back to the primary task at hand of working on preventing the cancer from returning, would -you- be so fucking full of Ghandi if it was YOU??!!!"

I'm looking forward to the answer, with little concern over fall-out.

I've grown to despise 'closed systems' bureaucrats, persons who say they stand for something but don't, and a whole long list of folks I suspect would make far better compost than they do human beings.

Anyway, another morning of IV antibiotics, then in between that (the nurses there are AAAA++++, by the way, using ultrasound to hit a vein, so no bubbles, oopses, etc), getting resupplied with lycopene supplements, and maybe some more fresh mushrooms, then onto the secret handshake club Doc.

If I can't let this go and park it, finding some sort f internal peace with these motherfuckers, then I should make the BEST, most memorable war with them I can arrange. And if the cretins ever make the (literally) criminal mistake of destroying evidence or perjuring themselves in the court, then God won't be able to help them. I swear.

Started out the day with a repeated phone call to the IRS re. my younger son's missing refund; the bastards sent it to the wrong address; we have the original copy here, and it had the correct address. So they need to back-trace to see what happened to the check.

He's never filed for himself before this year, and he doesn't remember the SS # the way he does cheat codes for his electronic games (Yes, I pointed that out to him), so the 1st time we had them on the phone, they hung up on him after waiting God knows how long, "Because even if it's you, you can't be asking others for information on your form." He's 17!! Never filed before!! I swear to God, "come the fucking revolution, there'll be some changes. Substantial changes."

Anyway, as you can tell, I'm in battle mode. Didn't even want to see this Doc today after the BS that's transpired, and initially they'd given me the option of a telemedicine appt. rather than in person, but now, "With a situation this acute, we need to see you in person."Covid's popping in town, and they insist that for my well=-being (or more aptly, their liability and income), I now have to go and unnecessarily sit with the unwashed anti-masking cretins.

These days the joke is to put on my best Brooklyn gandma's accent, and say in Jewish tone, "Come to the hospital; get healthy!!!" The Docs don't appreciate the humor therein, but I SURE as fuck do. So I repeat it regularly in their presence, while showing them the multiple places that inadept nurses blew out veins trying to administer basic fucking IV's. For what ever reason, humor that highlights their system's failure, is lost on them. Go figger'.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grateful Dead, Live, Winterland, 12/31/78

'Samson & Delilah'

Grateful Dead - Samson and Delilah (Winterland 12/31/78) (Official Live Video) - YouTube

 

[buzzmobile]

Give 'em hell, moose eater.

 

[moose eater]

Thanks buzz.

The costs of 'battle' are mounting, and sometimes quantifiable.

My wife's disrupted sleep has brought her to compromised function, ranging from difficulty following basic driving directions, tearing at many referenced stressors, and more.

Yesterday's town trip, for the IV antibiotics, PC Doc visit, mail, paying bills and more, despite my waiting in the car much of the time, resulted in a visibly greater volume or presence of fresh blood and orange concentrated urine in the leg bag. Not knowing, definitively, all the why's, where's, what for's, etc., becomes a source of worry added to worry.

My local urologist & friend is closing his practice on May 31, and has agreed to continue seeing me via telemedicine. He's moving to a coastal community in the State, & I joked with him that our options include quickly building a small rental cabin, and decking it out with necessary medical gear, then holding him hostage there, or the prospect of my showing up on his porch with my halibut fishing gear.

But my truth about this change is that I fear 5/31 is too soon to pull the catheter, as the initial outlook for properly healing the leaking urethra was 1-3 months, and, as stated before, my immune system is still somewhat on crutches, due to various factors. If we rush this, & I end up back at square 1, my intention is to head over the rainbow. Never doing this shit again. Never.

So there's some logistics to work out here. I can pull the catheter at a much later date myself under normal circumstances, but these have been FAR from normal circumstances. And I have enough deep, personal info. re. the remaining urology Docs in town, that I'm not overly excited about utilizing the services of ANY of them.

Lots to be mapped out, and more to be overcome.

Sent a note to the intake person at the primary law firm of interest, inquiring about the status of my screening, and hope to see a reply soon.

More IV antibiotics this AM; hopefully with less blood showing in the catheter bag.

Had words with the receptionist at the PC Doc's yesterday, as well as one of the patients, re. persons in the CLINIC, wearing masks on their chin, or improperly in general, with our COVID #s popping, and personally knowing 2 persons who died from COVID in the hospital here in the last week; I think our culture/society/ Country/community needs a serious re-set. We seem to have devolved to a point of serious idiocy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Van Morrison, From the 'Veedon Fleece' Lp

'Streets of Arklow'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMQAOuJ29xU&list=PLzvx7Yj8xTWfpso7lJFfE7CwRGEZcfXr_&index=4


*A somber favorite of mine, for nearly 40 years now. Beautifully somber..

 

[Switcher56]

It never rains it pours doesn't it Moose. Hang in there good buddy, healthy vibes on their way

 

[moose eater]

It never rains it pours doesn't it Moose. Hang in there good buddy, healthy vibes on their way

Being lost in a struggle has sometimes been where I've excelled. Waiting, and weighing factors, trouble-shooting ruts way ahead is where the reality and hypothetical meet to drain energy, but the PTSD has me doing all of the above endlessly. A professional worrier.

Maybe with the recent torrential down-pour, there might be smooth sailing at some point; relying on the philosophical spiritual concept of homeostasis in the Universe, as it applies to life's experiences. Maybe, or maybe just bullshit to feed one's self to make the unendurable more endurable.

Another long talk with an old acquaintance and halibut fishing partner yesterday. We laughed. I think my outspoken humor and audacity in times of struggle lifted him up.

Nurses at the IV center are incredible. I told them we'd finally found where the hospital keeps their best nurses; in the basement, just like the crazy uncle, but mo' betta'. The nurses I've had most interaction with are off at least until next week and one of them longer, so we're holding off, but we're taking them some really good chocolates en masse next week; they've agreed to work harder for chocolate, good chocolate, and we intend to oblige them. One I'd initially misperceived head-butting with has had a number of human interactions with me. She's lost 2 aged family members to COVID, and was unable to get home to pay respects.

Too much fucking sadness these days, and I quietly cried with her as she shared her recent history. I'm not the only one re-evaluating the concept of justice in this life.

If these are our Golden Years, Heaven help those who are living in the pewter, silver or bronze period of life.

Urology Doc gave me some free samples of drugs yesterday to help stop spasms in bladder, penis, etc. Doubling up on the light-weight ones, as I always start anything new, legal or not, in the small end of the scale until I can ascertain whether the substances is friendly toward me.

Sunny outside, and I left my leg bag on, rather than immediately exchanging it for the night bag upon the return home. Might check my shop and drop in on the girls to assess the care they've bene given during my bed-rest. See if I can offer them anything of substance to address any malaise.

Maybe step outside and see what the raised beds in the gardens look like. Tilling of beds and the potato field will fall to my younger son's and wife's shoulders this year. It is what it is. Need to get a proper white hard-hat so I can supervise in style.

For the 1st time in a while, I'm headed to the vaporizer & the stash a forum member gifted me in Seattle, for some Kashmiri Azad land race sampling, to reminisce about the old Nepalese Black slab hash days; very nice stuff. Very nice stuff, indeed.

Just have to try harder to find the beauty in the swamp sometimes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Van Morrison, 'Veedon Fleece' Lp, again

'Linden Arden Stole the Highlights'

Van Morrison - Linden Arden Stole the Highlights (w/ lyrics) - YouTube

'Who was That Masked Man'

Van Morrison - Who Was That Masked Man (w/ lyrics) - YouTube

*This entire Lp touched my heart for decades, in so many times and places.

 

[Douglas.Curtis]

-Have you seen the video called "Chemical Farming and the Loss of Human Health"? It's from Zach Bush. A "triple board-certified physician specializing in internal medicine, endocrinology and hospice care." He spent 20 years researching oncology medicines and came to some startling realizations about what's going on.


In short, the medicine has been removed from our food supply and you are suffering greatly because of it. The long term solution is fungi/bacteria/enzyme rich organic foods, especially ones known to attack any of your specific issues. In the short term I myself would maximize the intake of beneficial foods for my blood type and remove all avoids. Completely avoid all synthetic, highly refined and non-food items, which basically means no packaged foods. Buying organic will also maximize your intake of beneficial anti-inflammatories. Lots and lots of garlic and strong onions is a must.

Meso products colloidal silver and platinum. (yes I'm prepared for some moron to post the blue dude picture again. Whatever.)
The silver is extremely beneficial against infections and the platinum is amazing for healing. I've used the Meso products and they're legit quality, speeding healing up significantly after my wife's surgery. Expensive but extremely effective.

Last, but certainly not least, I strongly recommend whole plant cannabis extract (roots included) and as much as you can consume on a daily basis. Many of the cannabinoids and several compounds in the roots are extremely powerful anti-inflammatories, the basis for some serious healing power. My wife skipped the truckload of ibuprofen they gave her after surgery and used only root oil to control inflammation.

Rooting for ya Moose, no pun intended.

 

[moose eater]

-Have you seen the video called "Chemical Farming and the Loss of Human Health"? It's from Zach Bush. A "triple board-certified physician specializing in internal medicine, endocrinology and hospice care." He spent 20 years researching oncology medicines and came to some startling realizations about what's going on.


In short, the medicine has been removed from our food supply and you are suffering greatly because of it. The long term solution is fungi/bacteria/enzyme rich organic foods, especially ones known to attack any of your specific issues. In the short term I myself would maximize the intake of beneficial foods for my blood type and remove all avoids. Completely avoid all synthetic, highly refined and non-food items, which basically means no packaged foods. Buying organic will also maximize your intake of beneficial anti-inflammatories. Lots and lots of garlic and strong onions is a must.

Meso products colloidal silver and platinum. (yes I'm prepared for some moron to post the blue dude picture again. Whatever.)
The silver is extremely beneficial against infections and the platinum is amazing for healing. I've used the Meso products and they're legit quality, speeding healing up significantly after my wife's surgery. Expensive but extremely effective.

Last, but certainly not least, I strongly recommend whole plant cannabis extract (roots included) and as much as you can consume on a daily basis. Many of the cannabinoids and several compounds in the roots are extremely powerful anti-inflammatories, the basis for some serious healing power. My wife skipped the truckload of ibuprofen they gave her after surgery and used only root oil to control inflammation.

Rooting for ya Moose, no pun intended.

Thanks. The diet I eat is already whole-plant, organic, vegan, so already ahead there.

Laid off most supplements and extracts when issues were more bleak, but have been ingesting those supplements lately that aid specifically in immune function & healing.

Someone I have limited/minimal contact with sent the video you posted the other day, but I was already aware of its content in a general sense, and the same person who sent that loaded other vids, excerpt, and insults into the message that were aimed at minimizing COVID, masks, and a lot of other otherwise 'solid' bits of current research and medical science, so I invested scant time in their message.

Otherwise, yes, organic whole plant nutrition is my current path. Thanks again.

 

[moose eater]

Had a Phone call with a long-time surrogate family & friend a bit ago. Years of memories.

Another friend of his, with whom I've visited and sat in when they played acoustic music, who visited us while we were catching wild trophy lake trout through the ice, a person who was a skilled bushman & wolf biologist, chasing wolves to tag and study, in snow shoes and small aircraft, decades ago in the Yukon Territory, who started what continued on for a while as a noteworthy bluegrass festival in the Yukon Territory, and who was healthy enough, despite having 2 types of cancer, to beat COVID a year and 3 months ago, back when they didn't even think to test for it (he was through it by the time they tested & confirmed he had it).

Well, that brave and sturdy soul, creative man that he is and has been, decided over a year ago, that he could spend his remaining time getting more fucked up by chemo, or he could take what life he had remaining, continue loving his family, kayaking, canoeing, riding his bike, etc., and follow the less encumbered path.

He's now coughing up pink blood, and one of the larger tumors is near his heart, making things more precarious.

He lives in a Country that offers physician-assisted death, and while his d'rothers would be to meet the other side in the Yukon, his current paperwork is in another province.

Our mutual friend & I spoke a fair while, while he cleaned and sorted his tools after work. We talked about his friend's courage and independence.

My friend, rarely shaken, summarized B's circumstances, then mine, and became weepy; an extreme rarity for him; I've never seen or heard him cry before, though he was quick to reel it in. I told him what I'd heard many years ago, that grief is for the living, and the living are the ones most affected by death. The dead have ended their pain & struggle.

There's a lot of cause for thoughtfulness in this tonight.

I can't toast Bobby with a beer, as that's off the table for me; perhaps a few ounces of prune juice instead. And maybe I'll finally lay out the cash for his amazing wolf book.

Cancer sucks, and bless those persons who flip it the bird, and take their lives back from the unending dehumanizing processes, to live the way they love to the last moment.

No, that's not about my post-op fuck-ups. It's about another guy with another form of cancer (2 forms, but he beat 1), who gathered his energy, and lived well, right to the impending end.

There's many similar souls around us, whose stories we'll never hear or read, virtually invisible to most, but I felt compelled to write this here, and to celebrate Bobby's life.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rolling Stones

'Salt of the Earth'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOiLH-2hTPQ

 

[rod58]

Too much fucking sadness these days, and I quietly cried with her as she shared her recent history. I'm not the only one re-evaluating the concept of justice in this life...
justice ?? there's no justice for people who need it most moose ..unfortunately .
keep as well as you can be my friend .

 

[moose eater]

Too much fucking sadness these days, and I quietly cried with her as she shared her recent history. I'm not the only one re-evaluating the concept of justice in this life...
justice ?? there's no justice for people who need it most moose ..unfortunately .
keep as well as you can be my friend .

Thank you, rod.

I haven't gotten a box suited to that hat yet; these days things seem to take more time, but it's coming.

Justice is something we're taught is right, to pursue, sometimes to teach or even force when we can, but short of homeostasis in physics/the physical world, there's really no natural existence of it.

I think for some of us who witness stark inequity, it becomes a pursuit out of resentment of its absence, or out of anger at the antithesis to it; the abusers of justice who seem to continuing to profit from others misery, who rarely visibly pay dues, other than for the rare spiritual epiphany we hope will come, but rarely does.

We focus hopefully, and sometimes apprehensively on misinterpreted words like 'karma', but that seems elusive too. Maybe because there are things or events we're not able or allowed to see.

Bobby's struggle in this plain is coming to an end. My struggle is still in the dice, but other factors impede my attitude. That's on me to stop being a puppet to the stimuli of the moment. The knee-jerk aspects of long-term PTSD aren't always my friend or helpful,but other times have saved my butt.

I need to discipline myself to see beauty at least as often as I see the converse, and to impart my own brand of justice, without allowing it absence to derail where and who I need to be.

My first morning in the local hospital they put me on suicide watch, because I answered their narrow black & white questions honestly. I told them 90% of this life and world are gray, not black & white, but as long as you're not wearing a (Customs) badge, I'm an open book; ask me what you want.

"Have you gone to sleep hoping not to wake up, (to drift away peacefully)?" HELL YES!! Ask any 85 senior citizens who live with discomfort and if they're being honest, the majority will answer 'YES'. (that was my answer).

"Do you ever have thoughts of harming yourself?" You guys are using inadequate and incorrect terms. How about you ask me (or patients) 'Have you had thoughts of ending the suffering? Asking me if I want to 'harm' myself ??!! Jesus fucking Christ; I've had all the harm I need; an end to suffering sometimes sounds like peace.

I didn't mention I'm friend with one of their Board members, who happens to belong to the Hemlock Society; that might've tweaked their gears a bit.

The second woman they had sit with me was completely unaware that there are MANY places that have laws legitimizing 'assisted suicide' or 'death with dignity'. I confronted the pattern of one entity super-imposing their religious values onto others, re. the presumptuous 'sanctity of life' bullshit, and what a blind spiritual intrusion THAT clusterfuck equates to.

The 1st woman they had sit with me was fabulous, we told stories (mostly me; you know I talk a lot), and when she left, we both wept and she hugged me. We shared a very similar view of life, the Cosmos, struggle, self-determination, and more.

I told the charge nurse that their inaccurate and poorly worded intake questions merely conditioned many to lie, to avoid the BS, but that's not my path.

I told them, asked them, If I was intent on dying at this time, do you really think I'd have come to a white ceiling room of intrusive strangers with loudspeakers going off all the time? I'd have gone to my lower property, and found a spruce tree to lean against, and looked up into a blue sky!! I came here to GET BETTER!!

Later they sent a licensed clinician from the psych dept to do an eval, my wife present, and I confronted all the same issues as above, noting I previously not only carried her professional license, but another license as well; she properly removed me from the 'suicide watch.' I'd simply needed to do business with someone with a brain, capable of seeing the world as it is, not through some super-imposed, inaccurate black and white delusional lenses.

And sometimes they ponder why people may not get well in hospitals!! Jesus Fucking Christ!!!

Yes rod, justice; been my source of rage, ever since I saw a family member put another's blood on the wall when I was 5 years old, where upon I attacked them with my little boy's elastic waist belt, and was properly conditioned to hate bullies, eventually losing my fear of them, for the resentment they cultivate.

Keep pursuing the justice that isn't but should be, though sometimes that pursuit finds us looking more like the bully, than who we needed to be.

Take care, We all have our warts. You're a kind and decent man.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spirit

'Nature's Way'

​​​​​​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsTK2LHZKPQ

 

[...CR500AF...]

Good to see ya...

 

[moose eater]

Good to see ya...

Thanks.

Yesterday, during the town trip for IV antibiotics, etc., there was nearly no pressure or discomfort in the area of the urethra between bladder and penis, locatedd between scrotum and rectum; the place where, at its worst, had felt like sitting on 3 rolls of quarters.

Catheter bag was mostly yellow (verging on green after supplements) with minimal 'solids' in the line and bag; some off-white cloudy tissue that may be a combinationof white blood cells having died in battle, and reparative tissues from inside the bladder wall; like General Patton sitting atop the ridge in Africa, 3watching his and Rommel's tanks blow each other to shit. The carnage is cleaner from a distance.

But no pussy scab material or glaring red clots/scabbiness for the healing areas within.

Today, during the ride home, the 'new' sensation in the same area of the urethra, between bladder and penis, it's a bit inflamed, heated, discomforted. Changes afoot, and hoping they're for the better.

Wondered how long before the Ertapenem loses its umph in the battle, or the critters opposing it organize into a more effective entity, and up their game? Again, just the guy in the vehicle, along for the ride.

Advised by one law firm to write to the Joint Commission on Accreditation (for hospitals), as well as the Washington State Dept of Health, and I figured for a final measure, the Hospital Board where the 'over-sights' occurred, informing them of my 'unhappy camper' status. This followed 2 of the 3 pit-bull-type top-notch legal firms passing on the case, though I'm waiting to hear from the third.

If that effort receives a strike-out, there's another 8-10 Olympic grade specialty law firms handling medical malpractice in that region/State I can continue rifling requests to, and will be doing just that. My pit-bull Irish side gets going in these times. My teeth are sunk in, and until I have to, I'm NOT letting go.

A friend from the South, years ago, was injured on the job during a period of time the State and corporatists had sold out workers rights, sending everything to binding arbitration, by law, no matter how serious. He'd lost wages, his health was failing, they gave him a disability rating that was a finessed form of butt-fucking him, and more. He was just a wise, old hill-country electrician. Attorney after attorney his case had no chance in hell, and they wouldn't take it. He went into the hearings/court, pro se' pro per, representing himself, no legal background, and slam-dunked the motherfuckers. That was a definitive day when 'Return of the Jedi' took on new meaning; he got back-wages, hospital bills paid, and LOTS more.. with no law training what so ever.

He and I don't always see the world through the same goggles, but he's a man of integrity, and we share that whole, "Fuck you, I'm not going away or backing down."

One law firm in my case sited the number of expert witnesses that would be required to p[rove 'causation'. Like I had what I ended up with going down? Or caused it myself, post facto? Seriously? The strange world of law; "if the glove does not fit, you must acquit..."

So as I gather energy to check ph, phosphorous levels, etc. with the girls in the shop, and get another soilless mix tested with H2O extraction and Mehlich III acid test, I need to craft a letter that will change only slightly, depending on recipients, to send to the Washington State Health Dept, JCAH folks, and the hospital board, specifically re. the area of practice in which the good surgeon operates, and continue trolling for a pit-bull law firm who might say, "Yeah, we 've got this; don't you worry about a thing." And that last bit, that would be Christmas. Or maybe I get a lump of coal, and have to park those particular talons and fangs for another day.

Of course, there's always the prospect or potential of keeping my July appt with the motherfucker, for a final face-to-face.

Made some miso soup yesterday with kombu, dashi, tofu, leeks, green onions, mushrooms, red chard, sea weed strips, vegetable stock, traditional miso paste, and other tidbits. Incredible stuff. eating some more right now. "I think I might be turning Japanese, I really think so." Probiotics RULE!! Especially in -good- Asian soups!!

Ordering Bobby's wolf book today, along with some new grapefruit spoons.

Local hospital refunded nearly $1,100.00 2 weeks ago, after implying they were sending a check, instead crediting it to a credit card with a Zero balance on it; so now I'm waiting another 2 weeks for my money to find its way to me in the form of a check; I pointed out that had the tables been reversed, every party involved likely would've wanted interest from me, but I'm now going to be waiting a month now for my cash, with Zero interest credited to me. Asked them how they felt about corporatism. Yes, it was a pointed rhetorical question. "Come the revolution..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John Lennon

'Nobody Told Me There'd Be days Like These'

John Lennon - Nobody Told Me [Remastered] [HQ] - YouTube

'I'm Just Sitting Here watching The Wheels Go 'Round'

John Lennon - Watching The Wheels - Lyrics - YouTube

 

[buzzmobile]

'Nobody Told Me There'd Be days Like These' is so right.
Strange days indeed.

Here's 11 seconds worth of getting beaten in a 22' skiff in a steady 20 knot east wind to make you feel better. Fishing is not always fun. LOL

I need to discipline myself to see beauty at least as often as I see the converse, and to impart my own brand of justice, without allowing it absence to derail where and who I need to be.

Maintain your righteous anger and guard against hatred, moose eater .

I hope for a peaceful restful day.

 

[moose eater]

'Nobody Told Me There'd Be days Like These' is so right.
Strange days indeed.

Here's 11 seconds worth of getting beaten in a 22' skiff in a steady 20 knot east wind to make you feel better. Fishing is not always fun. LOL



Maintain your righteous anger and guard against hatred, moose eater .

I hope for a peaceful restful day.

Thanks buzz.

1 of the first times I had my youngest son out in the 19' 1975 Grumman Square Stern Canoe I owned, with the same vintage 9.9 Evinrude OB, and a 1975 J. Klingel transom lift, we were headed into a wind gusting 20-30 knauts, with 2-3' choppy white caps on a long-ish narrow lake (Summit Lake, on the Richardson Hwy., south of Delta Jct. Alaska about 75 miles or so). I knew as long as we were headed straight, or even a bit diagonally, into the wind, or, to a slightly lesser degree, away from the wind, we were OK. Despite the bow spray he was taking with limited rain gear.

I played the throttle, as I would with our lake boat, so that coming down from crests wouldn't 'submarine' the bow. Lot of touch & go, sometimes. Like riding a bike, you have to 'feel it' & pay CLOSE attention to both wind & water.

The white-knuckle part for him, and moment of thoughtful caution was coming more or less into the wind, near the north end of a decent size Island, intending to do (more or less) a 180 degree turn.

On our way out, with less wind and chop, we'd merely followed the north shore of the Island, at a casual clip. But coming back, headed back to camp, with the conditions described, I knew that leaving such a narrow craft sideways exposed to the wind & waves might get pretty dangerous, so I needed to head north, into deeper water, allowing myself a place where, choosing the right moment between gusts and waves, I could pull off a more abrupt 180 degree turn, and not decelerate sufficiently, once we came about, to take water over the stern.

We made the turn, sizing up the wind & waves accordingly, and heading away from the wind (tail-wind pushing us), he had notably less bow spray on him, but by then we were both soaked.

He didn't like that boat much, but having had some 'hairy' experiences on larger water with my lake boat, despite a deep-V bow, and deeper sides, (times like losing power 17 miles up-lake, with a storm moving in on Aishihik Lake in the Yukon Territory), I think it's just partly what ever boat is in play; the rest is realizing the incredible power of water & wind.

My hatred is waning in some ways. If only for the energy it takes to maintain it. I'm tapped off and on, but can still manage intermittent strength for a heated rant toward the aloof bastards.

My wife's stress in this whole thing continues to show itself in clear and telling ways; forgetting a bag of groceries at the store, or how to get where she's going when driving, etc.

My impatience for BS is also piqued, and popped up with a pretty-boy wanna-be cop of a security guard at the hospital's ER yesterday (where we have to go on week-ends for access to my daily IV antibiotics); I believe he was trying to impress the 3 young nurses at the registration desk I needed to go to, asking me their questions for them, questioning why I was there. I told him and his shiny over-sized wanna-be badge, "I have an appointment with the Infusion Vtr for IV antibiotics. Why? Are you a Doctor?" My dismissiveness, by way of a question, caused some immediate ego-deflation for the young man, and he began to justify his boundary-challenged role intrusion, at which point I ignored him, and continued to address the admission folks/nurses.

Just not even a LITTLE bit tolerant of such nonsense these days.

Started carrying my .357 again the other day, after having forgotten to keep it with me in the car for the last several weeks; probably a sort of barometric reading on that same attitude. Not much of a Mr. Rogers candidate these days in WAY too many circumstances where brain-dead homo-sapiens are involved.

Time for some Vitamin C tea, and the morning trip to town for the daily course of Ertapenem.

Diagnosed a penile yeast infection lat night, resulting from the 'Godzillacillin,' and strongly suspect much of the irritation from the catheter, leading to bladder and penis spasms that leave me screaming to the Cosmos, was exacerbated or made MUCH worse by that condition. Pulled out a tube of Rx ointment that was past date 9 years ago, and that did the trick until a suitable substitute could arrive from town, late last night.

What a fucking course of obstacles THIS run has been. Trade-offs and ripple effects, left, right, and center.

Take care.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grateful Dead, Live, NYC, 10/31/80

'Ripple'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yJmBC7cMTM

 

[trichrider]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N_aBEc7U9Y

 

[moose eater]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N_aBEc7U9Y

Thanks trich. I nearly always rode alone. The last extended front-end custom bike I took on a long ride was about spring of 1980.

After that, between the early 90's and the New Millennium, I had 2 FLHS's; a 1991 (the lesser of the 2) and a very nice 1992. Put a lot of miles on them, crossing from Chula Vista up to Alaska on the '91, and the '92 went across Canada to Northern Manitoba, Alberta, all over Alaska, the ferries, Saskatchewan, British Columbia, and more.

Michael Mann's art goes back a long way, and memories there, too.

Looked at a 10 year old or so FLH Road King, the successor to the FLHS, but it will be a while before I can justify something like that, not to mention the physical issues of long-term travels on such a critter; used to do 650-900 miles in a day on a motorcycle. Don't see that happening again any time soon. But maybe later.

If it looks like the jig is up, and the count-down of one sort or another has begun, hastening the road to demise, my life insurance allows us to borrow from the end-pay-out, and use that as we see fit; perhaps a used motor home, another $10,000 for a decent condition Road King, and the ability to take the 3 of us and the pups to those places my son and I have frequented; Aishihik Lake, etc. And be able to all go at one time, having someone else tend the plants, if they're still an issue.

Didn't do the soilless mixes and doctoring of the plants yesterday, instead doing a complete break-down of the HRV, and cleaning fans with alcohol, soaking the giant core, and reconstructing it, as well as placing the bug screen and hardware cloth over the intake outside, to keep insects inside the unit to a minimum. Out-did myself, and was toasted by bed time.

Going to the shop shortly to ph the soilless mix I put together a month and a half ago, check for some phosphorous to add to the girls, as I know even with the increased amounts of P, the binding by Ca was still an issue. and I have a pretty stout CEC too. So more P it is.

A bit heart-broke on occasion about the terminal way in which I severed ties with my older son, but then I remind myself of his actions, and know that despite the grief, it was the proper thing to do, delivered with the edge it deserved. Made permanent by those words..

The whole thing re. the surgery fuck-ups, the more dismal prognosis re. cancer, the has-been nature of life and the lack of advance notice when one finds themselves potentially sliding down the laundry chute of life, leads to some serious intermittent depression. I need to get on that, or accept it. We'll see what happens there.

Take care.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Neil Young

'On The way Home'

On the Way Home (Live at Massey Hall 1971) - Bing video

 

[rod58]

sorry moose but i had to share this with you ..
at the local hospital here , twas late at night and the buzzer sounded outside so staff ran out and found this guy who was showing signs of being very , very ill !
they weren't at all sure of what could be wrong with him so he was duly xray'd ..
lo and behold they found that his arse was stuffed full with little plastic horses !!
24 of them !
his condition is described as STABLE !


sorry again mate but i thought a bit of humour wouldn't go astray ..

 

[buzzmobile]

The whole thing re. the surgery fuck-ups, the more dismal prognosis re. cancer, the has-been nature of life and the lack of advance notice when one finds themselves potentially sliding down the laundry chute of life, leads to some serious intermittent depression. I need to get on that, or accept it. We'll see what happens there.

Take care.

The depression during my recovery was a constant companion. I came close to accepting it as if it was a friend... a very tiresome friend with some odd habits. Lots of sleep and thoughts of "not being able to do what I used to do" scared me into getting outside of myself. My near acceptance of the depression had filled the house I shared with my wife, and she had to bear it while I wallowed in it and struggled with it.

Her burden was created by my depression. I had encapsulated my recovery and she was left to think the very same thoughts of cancer survival, loss of love, 'sliding down the laundry chute of life' alone. My 'need to get on that' depression activated when I looked beyond myself.

 

[moose eater]

sorry moose but i had to share this with you ..
at the local hospital here , twas late at night and the buzzer sounded outside so staff ran out and found this guy who was showing signs of being very , very ill !
they weren't at all sure of what could be wrong with him so he was duly xray'd ..
lo and behold they found that his arse was stuffed full with little plastic horses !!
24 of them !
his condition is described as STABLE !


sorry again mate but i thought a bit of humour wouldn't go astray ..

Humor's fine these days, rod. i don't always appreciate it, but other times accept it. Thanks for your sentiments. I know they were meant with the best intentions.


These days I get as much mileage form gallows' humor as anything. And there is a lot to laugh at, especially when mocking the caring nurturing modern medical field, for whom the Hippocratic Oath seems to be something to flatter themselves with in moments of delusion of grandeur, between cashing checks.

Hope you're well, and improving. Began the search of r a decent box for the hat yesterday; will need to load the crown up with some bubble wrap, to keep it from getting too discombobulated, and if Aussie Customs sees fit to unwrap the thing, hopefully they'll be courteous enough to replace the bubble wrap where it goes.

The Aussie--to-US power converter, I'll need to find a smaller box and make some arrangements for that contraption's air-travel, too.

Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bruce Cockburn

'All The diamonds in the World'

Bruce Cockburn - All The Diamonds In The World - Bing video