Fat Albert
Active member
....because all the guys are just going to say something along the lines of '.....f*ck her, move on, f*ck someone else.....' and I know that's not going to help me. 
My fiancee (23) and I (28) have been together for two years now. Before I met L-----, I never wanted to have kids. Meeting her changed all of that, and I'm convinced that I found the love of my life. We share(d) a deep, passionate, and all-encompassing love for each other, and began talking about spending the rest of our lives together soon after we met (about 6 months into it). I would lay down my life for her, and felt that God had finally merged my life's path with the one who was meant for me....and I still feel that way.
She moved to NYC this past summer. I'm about 120 miles away. She's leaving NYC at the end of the year and moving back to her hometown of Chicago. There's been some distance issues in our relationship, and we always emerged from them smelling like roses. I became convinced that our love for each other would supercede these issues. Lately she had been telling me how difficult it is for her to not be able to see me often. Her schedule in NYC is absolutely grueling; graduate-level courseload, plus a full-time internship. She is working literally from the moment she wakes up till the time she goes to bed. And it's been driving her into the ground and sucking the life out of her.
L----- is in musical theater. It's been her passion for the longest time, and she is a tremendously talented singer and actress. Her plan (for the longest time) was to move to NYC and make it on Broadway. This fit well with my plans, because I'll be here in the Northeast for another year or so. That way, we'd be close. However, she has an acting coach/agent back in Chicago who is able to get her a number of parts. So she decided to return to Chicago at the end of this calendar year, and stay there for a year or two to build up her resume.
I was supposed to visit her last night. As I'm driving to the train station in New Haven, she calls. She just got out of an 8-hour workshop, and she is exhausted. We were supposed to leave the city together this morning and spend the day with my parents, who absolutely adore her (she's quite fond of them as well). I say 'no problem, I'll just pick you up tomorrow morning'. And then it all comes pouring out.
She is physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. NYC is sucking the life out of her, and she's become a shell of her former self. She tells me that she loves me dearly, but right now she can't seem to summon the effort required to continue this relationship. She says that she has had a feeling that something isn't right, and she's been beating herself up over not having the energy to put into our relationship. Now, one month ago I had asked for a break. I wasn't being the best spouse in the world, and I wanted to re-group and re-discover my passion and love for her. She denied me, saying that if we take a break, we're done. So I re-committed myself to our relationship since that moment, and have made extra effort to do so; and I was very happy with how things were going. I felt better about myself and us, and even managed to improve my relationship with my parents during this time. And now this. She mentions taking a break; I say 'fine....I'll do anything that will help us out in the long run.' Then she says that she'll do it for my sake. I reply that if she's not going to do it for OUR sake, then we should just break up.
So now we're 'taking a break.' She'll be in town in 2 weeks. And I'm beside myself with hurt, grief, and pain. I'm praying to God that this will blow over, and that the stress of her current situation will eventually pass. There's no 'other guy'. She barely has time to even sit down, and we have mutual friends who are living with her. It's nothing of that nature. If it was, I'd be the first to say 'well, let's move on, then.' I just think that the city is killing her, and the thought of her moving to Chicago (much further away) is freaking her out. I know that honeymoons always end, and that all relationships come to a crossroads where folks can either walk away, or decide that what they're doing is worthy and make the effort to continue cultivating their love for each other. Our love is there. It's something tangible enough as to be recognized by all who see us together. How do I snatch our love from the jaws of circumstance?
Ladies, how do you find your way again when you've been lost?
Thank you so much to all who contribute to this thread. I'm in a really bad place right now.
Fat A
My fiancee (23) and I (28) have been together for two years now. Before I met L-----, I never wanted to have kids. Meeting her changed all of that, and I'm convinced that I found the love of my life. We share(d) a deep, passionate, and all-encompassing love for each other, and began talking about spending the rest of our lives together soon after we met (about 6 months into it). I would lay down my life for her, and felt that God had finally merged my life's path with the one who was meant for me....and I still feel that way.
She moved to NYC this past summer. I'm about 120 miles away. She's leaving NYC at the end of the year and moving back to her hometown of Chicago. There's been some distance issues in our relationship, and we always emerged from them smelling like roses. I became convinced that our love for each other would supercede these issues. Lately she had been telling me how difficult it is for her to not be able to see me often. Her schedule in NYC is absolutely grueling; graduate-level courseload, plus a full-time internship. She is working literally from the moment she wakes up till the time she goes to bed. And it's been driving her into the ground and sucking the life out of her.
L----- is in musical theater. It's been her passion for the longest time, and she is a tremendously talented singer and actress. Her plan (for the longest time) was to move to NYC and make it on Broadway. This fit well with my plans, because I'll be here in the Northeast for another year or so. That way, we'd be close. However, she has an acting coach/agent back in Chicago who is able to get her a number of parts. So she decided to return to Chicago at the end of this calendar year, and stay there for a year or two to build up her resume.
I was supposed to visit her last night. As I'm driving to the train station in New Haven, she calls. She just got out of an 8-hour workshop, and she is exhausted. We were supposed to leave the city together this morning and spend the day with my parents, who absolutely adore her (she's quite fond of them as well). I say 'no problem, I'll just pick you up tomorrow morning'. And then it all comes pouring out.
She is physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. NYC is sucking the life out of her, and she's become a shell of her former self. She tells me that she loves me dearly, but right now she can't seem to summon the effort required to continue this relationship. She says that she has had a feeling that something isn't right, and she's been beating herself up over not having the energy to put into our relationship. Now, one month ago I had asked for a break. I wasn't being the best spouse in the world, and I wanted to re-group and re-discover my passion and love for her. She denied me, saying that if we take a break, we're done. So I re-committed myself to our relationship since that moment, and have made extra effort to do so; and I was very happy with how things were going. I felt better about myself and us, and even managed to improve my relationship with my parents during this time. And now this. She mentions taking a break; I say 'fine....I'll do anything that will help us out in the long run.' Then she says that she'll do it for my sake. I reply that if she's not going to do it for OUR sake, then we should just break up.
So now we're 'taking a break.' She'll be in town in 2 weeks. And I'm beside myself with hurt, grief, and pain. I'm praying to God that this will blow over, and that the stress of her current situation will eventually pass. There's no 'other guy'. She barely has time to even sit down, and we have mutual friends who are living with her. It's nothing of that nature. If it was, I'd be the first to say 'well, let's move on, then.' I just think that the city is killing her, and the thought of her moving to Chicago (much further away) is freaking her out. I know that honeymoons always end, and that all relationships come to a crossroads where folks can either walk away, or decide that what they're doing is worthy and make the effort to continue cultivating their love for each other. Our love is there. It's something tangible enough as to be recognized by all who see us together. How do I snatch our love from the jaws of circumstance?
Ladies, how do you find your way again when you've been lost?
Thank you so much to all who contribute to this thread. I'm in a really bad place right now.
Fat A
Last edited:
