Drug test?? noooooo!!!!!

[lvclosetgrower]

Hey fellow icmaggers,

Well just like the title says I have to take a drug test for a job that I really need. It will be a conventional 5 panel drug screen, I guess that means urine. I really dont understand why employers drug test for THC but hey its either job or no job. Ive been unemployed for months, smoking heavly everyday on my stash of Nirvana big bud even smoked a couple hours before my interview. My question is what would be the best detox/kit to buy that will clean me up to pass the test??? thanks in advance for your responses peace




ps I was thinking of buying that plastic dildo thing that shoots synthetic piss

 

[TheGreenBastard]

When is your drug test, that could help narrow down your options. There are many methods but I don't want to bombard you with things that may not work in your situation.

 

[ganjapool]

I had to take one for a job this summer. I decided to go with quick fix synthetic urine instead of the detox. It cost around $30.I had to go to a doctors office to take the test, the good thing is I was able set up my appointment. I was able to pee without being watched. I just microwaved the bottle for 10 sec and taped it to my leg, there is a sticker thermometer on the bottle, the temp they look for at the doctors office is between 90 and 100.

 

[lvclosetgrower]

My test is tommorrow 11/5 and Im pretty nervous about it, I went out and bought magnum synthetic unisex urine and pure platinum magnum force liquid formula. I want to use the synthetic but Im not sure if they watch you, so I bought the drink just to be safe. That brought the total to $70 bucks, dam that could of went to herb or a fat piece.
Hey ganjapool please explain your story in more detail and what was the brand of the synthetic stuff? did you pass? thanks

 

[Bulldog11]

If you have a friend that doesn't smoke just take his pee and drink it, it will make your test come out negative, I swear. lol, jk. Please don't drink pee.

I have used the test pure drink and it always worked for me. Synthetic would be a sure thing however.

 

[lvclosetgrower]

Hey I tried that my buddy drinks alot but dosent smoke so I figured I would chug a glass full, now believe me or not I got hella drunk JK hahaha. I just wish it was ok for people to smoke a little jeeez

 

[pimpjuice]

those 5 panel tests are easy to beat just by drinking lots of water (a quart of something every 15mins before the test, half gatorade, half water works good). I've taken a bunch of those and have never failed.

 

[MMAJAY]

Doubtful they will watch. The safest way is to sub. If you smoke heavy its doubtful you can beat a urine test with your urine.

 

[RipVanWeed]

That synthetic urine got me busted.

I pulled off the scam in the Drs office, but I got called the next day and informed that my sample was fake!

I highly suggest finding a clean urine donor!

Respect,

 

[Barnt]

Rip we need more info. What brand/version #, how long did you have it, was it stored in the sun, etc.

 

[del...]

i've yet to hear about an employment test being watched over...iow, they give you a cup and send you to the bathroom where the sink faucets have been either taped or removed and the toilet has that blue shit added to the water...iow, it's usually safe to bring in a sample of clean pee and substitute! just tape a well sealed zip-lock full to your thigh and make it look/sound good! if per chance there is someone in the bathroom with you use the "shy bladder syndrome" excuse (it's a real thing...i have it too!). ask for some time so you can drink up coffee and come back later with a new plan...or so you tell them.

good luck

 

[ganjapool]

closetgrower, Yeah I passed the test, the name of the product is quick fix.
The nurse handed me a cup and directed me to a private bathroom, I closed the door and poured the synthetic urine to the cup and handed it back to her,she looked at the sticky therm on the side and sent me on my way.
If your nervous then just google the product you are using and read about people's experiences.

 

[enojadoperro]

http://www.quickfixurine.com/
I've used quick fix too, twice actually and it worked both times.
It has all the basic things they look for in urine.
Just make sure the temp gauge on the jar they have you piss in reads high enough.
If you nuke the bottle before you go and use the little heat pad plus have the bottle in your shorts it should be fine.
As a backup plan if the temp didn't get high enough I planned on rubbing my fingers together to get them hot then rub the temp gauge or if worse came to worse piss on the outside of the cup on the temp gauge.
You will fail if the temp is not within range so make sure it's hot enough when you leave your house.

 

[IE2KS_KUSH]

Hey man...
I used a drink product, and I had to re-test due to dilute sample, then I did it the right way, and got my wife's clean pee the morning of just 30 minutes before, and used it, and of course passed.
SUB
It is the only sure thing, I don't know if they watch you, I doubt it for a job screen, you can easily sub.
Good luck

 

[leafy_ferret]

Don't use women pee if your a guy... that's just bad, "i've heard stories" where the sample was busted for having birth control, or the woman was ovulating or some other weird shit.

 

[IE2KS_KUSH]

Don't use women pee if your a guy... that's just bad, "i've heard stories" where the sample was busted for having birth control, or the woman was ovulating or some other weird shit.

Well, I did it, a month ago, and unless they changed the way they do basic job pee tests, no, they don't test for gender, or pregnancy, or prostate cancer, or for anything, except for dope.
Is it possible to test for other things, is it possible to prove a sample is male or female, sure but they don't test for that.
I am just saying, it does not matter for a basic job screening whether or not you sub w/ male or female urine, not only have I "heard" that, it's also the truth, I know from actual experience.
YOu also have waaaay better piece of mind, no worrying of whether some drink worked, or if the sample was good, not all companies allow you to retake for a dilute, I was lucky.
Sub it,
Get an empty 4 oz bottle, or like an elmers glue bottle all cleaned out, get a few packs of those foot or hand warmers, and get those suckas cracked and warming about an hour before you are going to get the sample in the bottle.
Get the sample, in the bottle, if it's fresh like, they handed you the cup upon receipt, then put it into the bottle, w/ the warmers rubbber banded on it, and then just tuck it under your arm.

If need be, just heat it up to temp if it's not fresh, check it, heat it to 100*F and then bottle it..

Go to the facility and take it out in the parking lot and put in in your taint, nice and snug, walk in, be happy as fuck you are about to "piss on " the piss nazis, and fill out your form, go back, empty your pockets, go in, take it out, squeeze into the cup, re-tuck bottle, pull up your pants, walk out give her the other non dope smoking person's piss, and smile, because you just fuct off the piss nazis.
Leave piss nazi field office, go smoke a joint.

 

[Hash Zeppelin]

I wish drugs were legal. then a drug test would just be testing how good they are.

 

[Miss Blunted]

^^

 

[leafy_ferret]

I didn't say it was the truth just that i "heard it" Maybe they do it for probie tests or government jobs.

 

[IE2KS_KUSH]

^^
Maybe they do? I know they don't do it for regular civilian job screening piss tests though, and I have heard similar things as well, my wife was convinced that my "goose was cooked" but I'm here to say it's all ok.

Hey Hash, being illegal never stopped me from conducting my own "drug tests" don't let it hold you back! LOL! Test away!