CPC (Chronic Pain Club)
- Thread starter thekingofNY
- Start date
DevilsReject
Member
I hear that Trip, I am between a rock & a hard place, when i try to take less percs i feel sick, dizzy, like my head spins and i want to throw up. I hope after taking them for 2 years now I'm not addicted like a pain killer addict.
If I do take 4 a day I sleep all day & night long walking around my house like a zombie holding a sock in one hand & a shoe in the other hand..
If I do take 4 a day I sleep all day & night long walking around my house like a zombie holding a sock in one hand & a shoe in the other hand..
MW this is too bad..I'm not sure I've heard of peeps having this problem..and denying you of a good way to use cannabis, darn. Mayhe try the temple rub cure..that sure sounded nice amd relaxing to me..good luck in getting relief..DD
M
Marywanna
I must be the oddest pt in the world! Surely there are others that cannot tolerate pain meds! Now I don't want a headache,so I don't want to try again. First comes the headache,then the puking. First sucker, the guy at the dispensery told me to try half,then see if that works. I chewed it up so it would work faster. Felt okay,but after falling asleep woke up with the headache. Took some ibuprophen to get rid of it,800mgs. Next night,same thing, only this time I ate the whole thing. Smoking never gives me a headache! Wake up 6 hours later, the first sensation I feel is the damn head hurting.Didn't bother my guts or anything else just the head. I know the candy bar has a gram of hash and a gram of bud in it.At least thats what the guy told me. It is in five sections,like a Carmello bar does. Today I will try one whole section and see if that helps.It can't be the sugar in the candy,I eat sugar all the time....and chocolate too. Man I am a freak of nature!
herbwarts
Member
Aren't we all
M
Marywanna
LOL yeah I guess we are huh? DR,hate to tell you,you are addicted. That is certainly not your fault. My daughter suffers so badly from pain,has to take pain meds after 2 back surgeries that didn't help and is ashamed that she has to take them! This is just suck ass bullshit. Always with the surgeries,"oh,this will work". After, when it doesn't,you get the "well it isn't a sure thing". And now you are even more screwed up from scar tissue and adhesions. I don't really care if I am addicted to Xanax,I know I am. As long as he will give it to me I am going to take it. I have nothing else to fall back on,MJ helps but is not a cure-all. All these people that say they got off their pain meds after MJ,I don't believe them. I had nerves severed to stop pain and even that did not relieve all of it,it just made it a little less painful. The guy at the dispensary told me he was on all of them,fentynal patches,morphine,and now he smokes the magic herb and takes nothing? CMON,I don't believe that at all. I am not stupid or a noob at using MJ for med purposes. They just wanted me to sign up with them as a pt so they can grow more. Thats real compassion for ya,huh? Do they ever think that many people that are chronically ill are on disability and a fixed income? To tell people they can ditch all their RXs and just use MJ is crap and can be harmful in many cases. Using in conjuction with your other treatments seems more do-able to me. Forgive me ranting today. I feel awful and can't fight today so I am just going back to bed. Must be my day for my PITY PARTY,huh? MW
DR - It is a pretty ugly light bulb that goes off when you realize that you are now a junkie! I remember when I had been taking Avinza (time release morphine) for about 18 months, I went through a period where I was feeling really good and decided to stop taking it. I finally put it together why I suddenly had the flu - a couple of pills later, the flu symptoms magically disappeared. Nasty stuff.
DevilsReject
Member
I have to say Mary you are 100000% correct My Dear,
When i had my 3 back surgeries then a 4th to replace 2 titanium screws in my lower back the neurosurgeon said to me that the pain im receiving in my lower back now is the nerves and muscles and scare tissue.
I have 4 scares 2 at the top of my shoulders 5 inches long and 2 at the bottom of my back the same size and a small lump the goes right across my lower back and when i was being treated at the spinal chord injury nursing home/clinic the therapist told me that was all scare tissue.
I never regained any part of my life back, i can't do many things and can never work again plus the fact Mary is so right the surgeons tell you that you will recover and after this surgery and them meds bla bla bla you will be ok.
What they don't tell you is that because of your chronic back pain and the fact you will be on pain meds the rest of your life you will become an addict.
Just to prove my point, we live in a condo it is on the 3rd floor, only 7 steps to each flight of stairs and to get to the bottom theirs 5 sets of stairs and then a door and your in the back parking lot and that is were i take my dogs to go potty, well i was suppose to take my perc & valium an hour before i took the dogs out well, while their doing their thing i start to feel so sick and dizzy like i'm going to throw up and fall down, why is this happening even after a lousy 2 1/2 hours late for my meds i become sick, what the hell are these doing to me.
When i try to stop i can't i'm so depressed and my wife is working right now i feel isolated and never ever felt this depressed and if i don't take these meds i feel worst and sick and if i do i'm feeding a monster inside me and have less pain. no end or answers...
When i had my 3 back surgeries then a 4th to replace 2 titanium screws in my lower back the neurosurgeon said to me that the pain im receiving in my lower back now is the nerves and muscles and scare tissue.
I have 4 scares 2 at the top of my shoulders 5 inches long and 2 at the bottom of my back the same size and a small lump the goes right across my lower back and when i was being treated at the spinal chord injury nursing home/clinic the therapist told me that was all scare tissue.
I never regained any part of my life back, i can't do many things and can never work again plus the fact Mary is so right the surgeons tell you that you will recover and after this surgery and them meds bla bla bla you will be ok.
What they don't tell you is that because of your chronic back pain and the fact you will be on pain meds the rest of your life you will become an addict.
Just to prove my point, we live in a condo it is on the 3rd floor, only 7 steps to each flight of stairs and to get to the bottom theirs 5 sets of stairs and then a door and your in the back parking lot and that is were i take my dogs to go potty, well i was suppose to take my perc & valium an hour before i took the dogs out well, while their doing their thing i start to feel so sick and dizzy like i'm going to throw up and fall down, why is this happening even after a lousy 2 1/2 hours late for my meds i become sick, what the hell are these doing to me.
When i try to stop i can't i'm so depressed and my wife is working right now i feel isolated and never ever felt this depressed and if i don't take these meds i feel worst and sick and if i do i'm feeding a monster inside me and have less pain. no end or answers...
DR I have been following your issues for quite some time, one reason is that they are much like mine. But you hit a nerve with the quote here. You know what..I don't think you will ever be normal or gain back that life, sad my friend but true. You can work hard to move on but if you are anything like me you'll never be where you were. I think discussing it is a good thing though. I try now not to with my local friends and family because I think after 12 years of my stories they are shying away from me and I don't want to drive them away. I try to be upbeat..I put on a great show..but I am not the same person. Keep your head up friend..you have many friends here...your building a new life..DD
DevilsReject
Member
Hello DD,
You are so right, my Dr. told me that I must stop dwelling on my life before my accident and try to focus on right now and that I am still alive and lived through a massive head on collision and that I'm lucky to be walking again, so go enjoy your life and time with your family & friends.
You are a very Wise person DD and Thank You for putting things in prospective for me, It's not what I lost now It's what I have
You are so right, my Dr. told me that I must stop dwelling on my life before my accident and try to focus on right now and that I am still alive and lived through a massive head on collision and that I'm lucky to be walking again, so go enjoy your life and time with your family & friends.
You are a very Wise person DD and Thank You for putting things in prospective for me, It's not what I lost now It's what I have
M
Marywanna
Well DR easy for the Dr to say,now isn't it? But has he offered any suggestions for you? My stupid gastro Dr always says that shit,guess it makes him sleep better at night. He sluffed me off to the Pain Dr years ago. CHRONIC PT=MANY BUCKS FOR HIM.I am going back to Cleveland Clinic to a Rheumatologist before my insurance runs out. I need help that I can't get here in my area,at least not from the Drs I am going to.
Did that Headache go away Mary ????
EatMoGrass
Member
I find that anger is the absolute worst thing for my pain. And this woman I know is going far out of her way...
DevilsReject
Member
I'm very Depressed today, I don't care any more I'm thinking of drinking the bottle of southern comfort my son gave my wife and take all my percs and go lay down, I just can't wake up day in and day out knowing my life is what it is.....
DON'T DO IT !!!! I've been there and back, not worth it. grass always looks greener my friend
You think your feeling shitty? Imagine how the people who you love and who love you will feel when they find you rotting in their bathtub.
think of your son at least, be strong there is hope !!!!
It's funny you say that (well not really), but I've had a bad week and worse day (painwise), and I was eyeballing a bottle of wine, and my bottle of pills, and I don't drink. Sometimes it gets so depressing, you just need to knock yourself out with chemicals. I don't know about you, but my pain gets bad and I can't get comfortable to get to sleep. Sometimes I go 3-4 days on 3-4 hours of sleep. I was just prescribed ambien so hopefully i don't have to suffer through that anymore. It worked great the first two nights. What sucks so bad about relying on chemicals for comfort is that the tolerance builds so fast, so you just got to enjoy the relief while it lasts.
M
Marywanna
I think about that kind of stuff all the time......but I never do anything about it. I know what it feels like to have someone you love kill themselves. Besides your family wouldn't get your life insurance and always feel guilty,like they didn't do enough to help you. Just buy a Toyota and drive off a bridge then it's an accident. So I guess it comes down to how much of your depression is from your pain,or if you are just un-happy. I wonder how people much sicker than I am can take it,especially kids. Remember what Buck said about that little girl getting chemo next him,she took his hand to comfort him.
DevilsReject
Member
Hello everyone, Thanks for Your Support, I just have had a bad night and my stomach is in knotts and turning. I didn't mean to bring anyone down....
That story Buck told about the little girl broke my heart too Mary. Man, I loved that kid. 
I'm ashamed to admit that I too think about that 'stuff' all the time, (the a fore mentioned "perma-sleep cocktail"); I'm sure a lot of us do, even if only momentarily from time to time. And yes, I also feel ashamed that I am on opiates; especially when people who are able to do it naturally boast of their achievement. Or people who have never experienced real pain, (an 8-10), preach about how they would never take pain meds. I wish I could be there to see them reject the morphine when it's them laying on a gurney, with a broken back or collapsed hip. Until you have, you really shouldn't comment on the issue or judge my choice, imho. I can't wait until I am able to make milk, this is the only thing I see as being a possible alternative to pain meds, (at least that's where I'm putting my hope.) 'til then, just gotta be tough.
DD, you really hit me w/ the "good show" comment...
I just had to "put on a good show" for friends and I am exhausted, emotionally and physically. We went to Red Rocks for a concert on Sunday... I don't know if any of you have been there, but there are a LOT of stairs! I have been worrying about this for weeks, (since my bf got the tix.. I even tried to encourage him to sell them), I almost cried when we pulled up, dreading what was to come. First, we almost didn't get into the handicap lot b/c I couldn't find the stupid 'registration papers' for my damn parking pass. Then I had to take the "gimp bus" up to the venue; I had to leave my friends b/c the bus was 'short', and there was only 1 seat left. Feeling relieved after finding my friends, I then find out I still had to walk up about a thousand steps to get to our seats. (Thought we were 3rd row, but it was GA, so...) Holy crap was it tough, but I put on my suit of armor and tried to suck it up.
Oh and today, on our way back home, I had to stop to potty... as I'm walking, (well more waddling or hobbling), a lady sees me limping towards the restrooms, sees me, speeds up and dashes inside, (thinking it was just a single stall I guess.) There ends up being 3 stalls inside, all 3 were open, and she decides to take the handicapped stall! Even though she saw me, w/ cane, limping slowly towards the freaking restroom! (I only use the handicapped stall b/c they have hand rails and it's so hard to hold myself up... public potties are no where to sit!! lol.) Anyways, I was sore and crabby; and it really got my goat! I simply could not wait to complain about it here, lol.
It's tough feeling like you require all this extra help and people fussing over you b/c of your condition. It's embarrassing having someone tie your shoes for you, in front of thousands of people, b/c you can't bend over and do it yourself or having to sit on a special pad b/c the seats are too hard.
I could go on but I will resist. lol.
It is so nice to at least know I am not alone in this boat! Though I absolutely hate the thought of other people going through this. I do however, enjoy bitching here, entirely too much!
I hope that this finds you all doing well and properly medicated!!!
Stay tough, my friends!
I'm ashamed to admit that I too think about that 'stuff' all the time, (the a fore mentioned "perma-sleep cocktail"); I'm sure a lot of us do, even if only momentarily from time to time. And yes, I also feel ashamed that I am on opiates; especially when people who are able to do it naturally boast of their achievement. Or people who have never experienced real pain, (an 8-10), preach about how they would never take pain meds. I wish I could be there to see them reject the morphine when it's them laying on a gurney, with a broken back or collapsed hip. Until you have, you really shouldn't comment on the issue or judge my choice, imho. I can't wait until I am able to make milk, this is the only thing I see as being a possible alternative to pain meds, (at least that's where I'm putting my hope.) 'til then, just gotta be tough.
DD, you really hit me w/ the "good show" comment...
I just had to "put on a good show" for friends and I am exhausted, emotionally and physically. We went to Red Rocks for a concert on Sunday... I don't know if any of you have been there, but there are a LOT of stairs! I have been worrying about this for weeks, (since my bf got the tix.. I even tried to encourage him to sell them), I almost cried when we pulled up, dreading what was to come. First, we almost didn't get into the handicap lot b/c I couldn't find the stupid 'registration papers' for my damn parking pass. Then I had to take the "gimp bus" up to the venue; I had to leave my friends b/c the bus was 'short', and there was only 1 seat left. Feeling relieved after finding my friends, I then find out I still had to walk up about a thousand steps to get to our seats. (Thought we were 3rd row, but it was GA, so...) Holy crap was it tough, but I put on my suit of armor and tried to suck it up.
Oh and today, on our way back home, I had to stop to potty... as I'm walking, (well more waddling or hobbling), a lady sees me limping towards the restrooms, sees me, speeds up and dashes inside, (thinking it was just a single stall I guess.) There ends up being 3 stalls inside, all 3 were open, and she decides to take the handicapped stall! Even though she saw me, w/ cane, limping slowly towards the freaking restroom! (I only use the handicapped stall b/c they have hand rails and it's so hard to hold myself up... public potties are no where to sit!! lol.) Anyways, I was sore and crabby; and it really got my goat! I simply could not wait to complain about it here, lol.
It's tough feeling like you require all this extra help and people fussing over you b/c of your condition. It's embarrassing having someone tie your shoes for you, in front of thousands of people, b/c you can't bend over and do it yourself or having to sit on a special pad b/c the seats are too hard.
I could go on but I will resist. lol.
It is so nice to at least know I am not alone in this boat! Though I absolutely hate the thought of other people going through this. I do however, enjoy bitching here, entirely too much!
I hope that this finds you all doing well and properly medicated!!!
Stay tough, my friends!
