construction stories. the good and the bad

[CoCoSativas]

So I own a construction company. I see all sorts of bad work that makes me laugh, daily. Im a younger guy but I know the difference between a good job and a bad one.

Im more looking for storries from other pros, but as homeowners if you found anything wild post it up. Especially building code violations they are pretty funny sometimes. Scary but funny what guys pass as real work.

Ill start with a quicky because im at work. Making my deaf helper drive so I can post. I only have until I get to the site.

So yesterday we did a drywall patch repair above a shower. Really nice work there... Someone used a paint stirstick as a backing to screw his patchwork in. First he tried to do a California patch... The hole is a 10 5/8 x 17 3/4. To big for a California, so he decided to actually use a backing. Also its a cieling patch. Wtf California patch? Come on...



I got a wierd one too. So im doing hardwood flooring, back when I was 18. The guy I was working with asked me to clear this bedroom in a gay guys house. Im like Ok. I didnt have to I didnt work for him but why not im a decwnt guy.

I go into the room and flip up the bed, this goof has so many dildos under the bed you cant see the carpet. Seriously. So I go ask him to move it, hes like "isint that your job"? I was like fuck you clean it up or we are leaving you disgusting pig.

So he put them in the closet, pilled up against the door. Buddy I was working with opened the door and they fell all over him, a bunch hit the top of his head. I laughed until I was blue, called the guy we got the contact from and told him we are leaving. We would be back tomorrow after this moron removed the dildos from any area we could see them. Then I told the homeowner, who thought it was no big deal. I told him some guys would have had alot bigger problems than the guy with me that day. If it was me buddy would have hade a busted up face... Laugh at me after that ill show you...

A nicer one, not that standout but I had to dig a hole to cut a basement window today. So im digging, bitching and whatever. So this actually hot chick got on site and today and starts walking over to a Bob-Cat. So I walk over and start talking withher. I offered her 50 bucks to dig my whole for me. She was like nah... So I Started chatting her up, told her she looked real nice even in coveralls. So she starts to break. Gotta love girls man. A few more cocompliments and away she went, dug out a 6'l x 4'w x 3'd. In about 6 buckets she saved me all morning digging, and it didnt ecen cost me more than a flirt and a smile. Gotta love the ladies. Thanks sweeie for saving me time, money and alot of hassle.

Well hopefully some here have some goodies to share. Oldies are good too, I love old time construction stories.

Oh yeah, no one wants to hear about folks accidents unless they are funny. If someone got badly injured keep it to yourself or post another thread please. I saw someone shoot their hand with a Brad nailer once. Thats funny... Its stupid, and he wasnt all fucked up after so its AL good.

 

[CoCoSativas]

Nothing to crazy or interesting today. Pretty mild, I had to get a window cut in the concrete foundation of the joint im working on.

Nothing amazing happened but they guys were pretty funny. The foreman was yelling starwars quotes at his guys, shit like "stay on target" while these guys were lifting about 3 square feet of concrete, weighing about 350 lbs. He was a bit of a nut...

One of my guys was a moron walked right by the wall they were cutting. Just as they breached he got sprayed. Scared the shit out of him, it was pretty funny.



Concrete is rowdy. I love it

 

[CoCoSativas]

Oh goodie. Someone vrought a job to a construction site and now hes running around without anyone.

Hope the dog dosent get hurt. What a knobowner really smart

 

[CoCoSativas]

Nothing to crazy or interesting today. Pretty mild, I had to get a window cut in the concrete foundation of the joint im working on.

Nothing amazing happened but they guys were pretty funny. The foreman was yelling starwars quotes at his guys, shit like "stay on target" while these guys were lifting about 3 square feet of concrete, weighing about 350 lbs. He was a bit of a nut...

One of my guys was a moron walked right by the wall they were cutting. Just as they breached he got sprayed. Scared the shit out of him, it was pretty funny.



Concrete is rowdy. I love it

 

[whatsmells]

I am a super for a good size company. home depots, bass pro shops and so on. I should say I am more of a babysitter. The subs that come to the jobs now are worthless. They cant even read the plans. its only getting worse.

 

[vostok]

Whats your view on handling, removing and leaving, asbestos in these buildings from the 1960-1980's ..is it really over kill...or perhaps under kill...?

 

[CoCoSativas]

Whats your view on handling, removing and leaving, asbestos in these buildings from the 1960-1980's ..is it really over kill...or perhaps under kill...?

Dont touch that shit. I seal it and maek it off rather than abatement if possible.

So I sent my deaf employee to go remove wall paper from a shitty basement wall today, then tape and mud.

He texts me hey its not coming off that good, can I bring the garden hose downstairs and spray the walls.

I laughed my ass off and told him fuck no. Whats a matter with you... I found mold in the place already and the owner is a real cheap bastard. He wants to rent it for a profit, if he does though without dealing with the mold thats going to be a problem.

Plumber apprentice today also cut through a drywall board and hit a copper pipe in the wall. Boom. What a moron. Think before you cut dog! I love watching other trades bomb their work. Its pretty funn.

Folks, dont mess with mold, asbestos or anything like that, it could really hurt you. Call a professional and be smart and safe.

 

[blastfrompast]

Funny construction stories...

Hrm...couple years ago my FIL was re-shingling his roof.

Started out great, 5 guys up there and things were moving along fast. Then it was lunch time and the beers started flowing.

Well my FIL had the brilliant Idea that if he is laying the shingles his buddy could just use the air nailer to nail them down quickly behind him. Well his buddy was a bit to quick and BOOM....shingle nail thru the meat of his hand and there he is NAILED to the roof.

He goes white, I pull the nail out and we man-handle him off the roof. I grab my FAK from my go-bag and clean the wound quick.
So what does my dumb FIL wanna do right away...go back up on the roof. He stands up...eyes roll back and boom passed the fuck out..

Some people never learn.

Worst construction job... Busting out this huge front step that the previous owner poured himself. The fucking step had all sorts of scrap metal added to it for what I assume was a misguided attempt at structural integrity. Worst chipping job I have ever had...Took forever to bust apart. He used a whole role of chicken wire also...

 

[CoCoSativas]

Funny construction stories...

Hrm...couple years ago my FIL was re-shingling his roof.

Started out great, 5 guys up there and things were moving along fast. Then it was lunch time and the beers started flowing.

Well my FIL had the brilliant Idea that if he is laying the shingles his buddy could just use the air nailer to nail them down quickly behind him. Well his buddy was a bit to quick and BOOM....shingle nail thru the meat of his hand and there he is NAILED to the roof.

He goes white, I pull the nail out and we man-handle him off the roof. I grab my FAK from my go-bag and clean the wound quick.
So what does my dumb FIL wanna do right away...go back up on the roof. He stands up...eyes roll back and boom passed the fuck out..

Some people never learn.

Worst construction job... Busting out this huge front step that the previous owner poured himself. The fucking step had all sorts of scrap metal added to it for what I assume was a misguided attempt at structural integrity. Worst chipping job I have ever had...Took forever to bust apart. He used a whole role of chicken wire also...

Oh yeah those are goodies. Nailing hands and feet is fucking hillarious. It Hurst like hell and dosent leve someone disfigured so I get a laugh. Roofing nailer ouch, big nails being driven at high pressure. What a monkey goes back on the roof. No doubt he passes out... Booze and construction are no good.

That step is primo ive done those. Lol I have a special method for dealing with those. I just cut the concrete into pieces then bobcat or handbomb. Thats what the slaves are for.

Ive got a 16 year old drop out that cleans shit up and whatever. He wants me to mentor him. So im like Ok maybe, lets see you drive a nail into rhis framing. So I give him a nail and my framing hammer, tell him to get to it. After about 30 pounds he was like is there a trick? I laughed and drove it in one. Hes like wtf...

I guess high school dosent teach people real life skills anymore. Who cant swing a hammer... Maybe I cant blame it on school he is a dropout. Though so am I and im not mentally deficient.

Who knows why some peeps are as dumb as they are.

So we had some carpenters in the joint we are working on. Buddys complaining about the flavour of oak sawdust. OK ill give it to him its pretty bad but the exotics are worse.

So we start talking about our favourite and least favourite sawdust like we are planning on ordering some at a restaurant. Im like if I had a fav it would be either hickory or cherry. Buddys like I love spruce... Imlike are you OK, dude who loves the taste of sawdust. It just gets in your mouth, are you happy about it?

We talk some weird shit during the day. Next it will be fav paint to smell??? I hope not...

Keep em rolling folks I love hearing em.

 

[blastfrompast]

Sadly All I had was a jackhammer.... POS electric at that.

Had I had a quick cut saw it would have been a much quicker job.

I was supposed to be there to "supervise"...but after buddy got the point stuck the 3rd time I just took over.

 

[CoCoSativas]

Sadly All I had was a jackhammer.... POS electric at that.

Had I had a quick cut saw it would have been a much quicker job.

I was supposed to be there to "supervise"...but after buddy got the point stuck the 3rd time I just took over.

Jackhammers are fun. Electrics... They suck.
So do newbies...

 

[blastfrompast]

cocosat:

I always like my air chipping hammer....Lighter and it would bust the concrete like there was no tomorrow..

Man I sure DON"T miss those days.

 

[J.V]

I did a few years of construction work once upon a time.....As it was, I was the youngest labourer on the job......I was in my mid 20's at the time, everyone else was a generation older. One thing I come to learn, was being the young guy on the job always landed you the shit jobs that had to be done....Weather it be shoveling mud after it had poured rain, or cleaning concrete off form work, Man I sure don't miss that one bit.

I remember having to rock up on a job one day......These blokes
that I had worked on and off with, were given the task of having to pull these large concrete pipes out of a crossing that went over a large drain.....On either side of the crossing was an eight inch thick concrete head wall.....These engineers had decided to put in larger pipes, but wanted to leave the head walls intact.... So the leading hand is standing up on the crossing, while two other blokes are down in the bed of the drain with electric jack hammers chipping away at the concrete......The drain was dry at the time..So when I turn up, The leading hand tells me to zip down into the drain and grab one of the jack hammers and get into it.

After chipping away at the concrete for a while, I come to the see that we were getting nowhere fast...But I recalled another technique
that we had used on a different job a good while ago...So I said to the other bloke that was using the other jack hammer....." How about you grab the nine inch angle grinder and put a diamond tipped cutting blade into it, than make a series of parallel cuts into the concrete around the outside of the pipe.....That way we can make short work of this". Old mate gave me that look that said what a fuckin brilliant idea....Than staggered up the drain bank to have a word with the leading hand..

After a short while, he made his way back down the drain bank and attacked this concrete head wall with the 9 inch angle grinder...This time when I hit that head wall with the jack hammer concrete blew out in nice large chunks, as opposed to a small dribble before hand.
Within a few hours we had chipped thru one head wall and only had to do the other....
Only spent the day on that job, than was called else where.....All I know is they would of had a prick of a time trying to drag those large concrete pipes thru the opened up head walls....The joy of construction work.

 

[CoCoSativas]

Being the young guy on the job sucks unless you are the boss. Everyone trips out when we get on site. The young guy with the tattoos and sleevless shirts tells everyone what to do. I only employ one person younger than me, rest of the guys are way older than me. Sometimes they dont like listening to me but I sign their checks so they always do. Helps you can hear me from a mile away when im mad and could pick up any of my guys with one hand and throw them across the room. I may be the youngest but im the biggest and the strongest.

Im so glad weather is nice again. Winter was slow and ive been pretty broke. Nice to have some cash lining the wallet. Jobs are one the
flow again.

Cell service was poor so I couldnt update that well. Heres a pic of the concrete cutters cutting a window for us, they hit rebar, sparks! I dont have the type of gear to cut holes in foundations, so I call those guys.


Thanks for sharing the stories guys.

The window is done and im glad. That was a pain in the ass. Glad I just had to watch that one. Had to cough up 700 bucks but that was fair for what I made off the window alone.

I watched a painter spraying the cieling today, no mask, with his mouth hanging open. We were joking about him catching it with his mouth. Reminded me of this moron who started cutting a stack of drywall board with a circular saw in a joint we were working on. Real smart buddy. I was out of there, just went home for the day. I own a respirator but that was just dumb, I wasnt sticking around. That guy was to stupid to keep working on the same site so I waited for them to leave.

I have a cabinet job coming up possibly and maybe carving a bar. I love carving and im pretty skilled at it so I look forward to the challenge. Build bar, carve and scrape, then stain. We havent decided the wood but when that gets figured out I can get this cheap bastard a price

 

[Sisu]

Construction was fun a lot of years ago. I was a master of the HP 48, HP 42S, and the Wild theodolite. I miss it sometimes.

 

[CoCoSativas]

Construction was fun a lot of years ago. I was a master of the HP 48, HP 42S, and the Wild theodolite. I miss it sometimes.

You were a surveyor I take it? Calculator and theodolite equals surveyor to me, but could be wrong... Lol most guys my age would scratch their head, ask wtf that equipment is. I learned from old timers so I know how to work that stuff too. Even those old discontinued calcs... I may even have that shit in my shop. I collect all sorts of crap. My drywall tools I bought the whole lot for 50 bucks at a garage sale. Probably 2 grand in that box of suff

 

[CoCoSativas]

This thread started slow but glad to see otheres enjoyed their time in construction. I love it, love talking about it, hearing about it. Building shit is my life and I love everything about it. Even the goofballs we are exposed to on the job sometimes.

Yo anyone ever work with goof off, the one for graffiti removal? Lol dont breathe the fumes or you will get messed up. Im talking hearing your ex gf beg you to fuck her messed up. Its like combining acid with some type of other wierd drug to get that high. Its not cool.

My father in law says me and my guys are all pussies, because we get fucked up off that goof off. Hes like "ive used it for years" blah blah. Hes a dickhead. He thinks the blue cap Graff grit is for the same as the original. I cant wait for him to try the blue shit...

I hate when im on the same site as him. I yell once every week or two. He yells everyday. Hes a spas I had enough of the third day I knew him. I wanted to shut him up a couple times but my wife would make me more miserable if I do anything. I did pl his shoes to a plywood subfloor once. Pls this badass deck adhesive that never comes off... I love pl. Ive glued bricks to drywall with it, truck doors closed permanantly (dont fuck with the boss I do more than fire you if you steal my tools) jeez ive glued half the shit under the sun with pl.

Hey so I wanted to talk more about asbestos. It can be either very safe and actually helpfull, or it can be a hazard that kills you 20 years after handling it.

If you leave it be, it provides excellent insulation capabilities, and is very fireproof. As long as its undisturbed its perfectly safe.

Its only unsafe when moved, by folks who are untrained and unequipped to deal with it. It must be throughly wetted, and removed by folks who get certified to do it.

I actually was a mould and asbestos guy in the past. It sucked so I dont do it anymore. I let my cirtificate go and never renewed it. I hate putting the gear on so I call someone else and pay them to worry about it.

Take it from me, a guy who actually knows how to do that stuff, just leave it, or if you have to acall someone else. Lol I actqully just vapour barrier over it or I cement it in when possible. Way less risk for everyone in the world to leave it be and reap the benefits of it, as there is several. The health hazards detract from the benefits though, therefore we no longer use i.

 

[Bud Green]

More than 30 years ago, a very good buddy of mine was building a fancy fence in the customers backyard.
He was attaching some panels of redwood lattice to the 4x4 fence posts with a T-nailer and small wire gauge, one and a half inch T-nails...
He got going too fast and put a t-nail through his thumbnail and into the 4x4 post.. Ouch!
He reached over to his toolbox to get the side cutters, to cut the head off the t-nail. The side cutters were 8 inches beyond the reach of his other hand..
His helper was in the front yard operating the cement mixer and couldn't hear him hollering for 15 minutes, while my buddy stood there helpless, nailed to a fence post!
He didn't hear the last of that one, from his friends, for a very long time....

 

[CoCoSativas]

More than 30 years ago, a very good buddy of mine was building a fancy fence in the customers backyard.
He was attaching some panels of redwood lattice to the 4x4 fence posts with a T-nailer and small wire gauge, one and a half inch T-nails...
He got going too fast and put a t-nail through his thumbnail and into the 4x4 post.. Ouch!
He reached over to his toolbox to get the side cutters, to cut the head off the t-nail. The side cutters were 8 inches beyond the reach of his other hand..
His helper was in the front yard operating the cement mixer and couldn't hear him hollering for 15 minutes, while my buddy stood there helpless, nailed to a fence post!
He didn't hear the last of that one, from his friends, for a very long time....

Thats bad luck. I carry alot of tools in my pouches and hooks and holsters... I stepped on a siding nail once that went strait through the shank of my boot. Hurt like hell. I had my cats paw to pull it out... It bled for about a hour. Lol cats paw, crows foot, nail puller those things have too many names. My 16 year old clean up kid calls it the little crow bar because everyone calls it a different name. West Coast they call it cats paw, east they call it a crows foot. Its wierd though, im in western Canada, my father in law has never heard it called a cats paw and hes a local. But then again he dosent know what a rotary hammer is,he knows the tool, not what its callEd.

Anyone got any good demo storries? Couple months ago I had to go remove a retaining wall. I told the guy why not wqit till summer hes like no I want a early start. He was wierd so im like ill think about it.

I took a day then got back amd said sure. So we go in and start destroying this thing. Hes waiting all dressed up in what he thought would be good to wear for this. Runners and sweats... Im like Ok are you here to watch he says he wants to work, in exchange for me taking money off. Im like thats not how this works, if I did that id pay you my profit... No... So hE says he wants to help for free. Im like no... So he tells me he wants to work with us, and will fire me if I dont let him.

I laughed my ass off. Buddy we have a contract. By the way you being here is violating wcb rules leave or I do and you pay for me to sit for the day. All I have to do is fill out a hazzard assesment, submit it to the right people and voila jobs shut down. Possibly for good.

So he left, I assumed to leave me alone. Nope. He called in some other guys. They were like wtf theres already guys working. Whats wrong with this dink? So I explained to them hes being a nut and they should just invoice him and leave. I have a contract and hes just trying to piss me off so I terminate it. No thanks im doing the job and getting paid. You book my time, you either pay me and I do my work, or you pay me for wasting my time. Its clearly laid out in my booking and charging rules so people dont waste my time. You sign that contract im getting paid for the time you book. The minute I arive at your jobsite, you pay. Ive gone to too many jobs, had people ask me to do illegal shit, code violations, you name it, I say no, they fire me and dont pay. Yeah no more of that. You pay for every day booked unless we mutually agree to terminate or theres some amazing reason.

I the end he realized I wasnt a joker, theis is serious buisness, stop wasting my time. So he relented. Or so I though. I start movin pieces of this wall, ignoring him. He goes and picks up a big ass piece of the wall. I couldnt believe he actually lifted it. He was struggling so much, he looked like a little girl it was about 200 lbs, probably as much as he weighed. So he looks at me and strains out "I can do this" and dropped it on his right foot. Crunch! It was foul sounding. He screamed so loud the neighbours called 911 without even looking out the window. They thought he was dying.

He was OK, turned out the crunch wasnt as bad as it sounded. We got the thing off him and tried taking off his shoe to ice it. The paramedics had to cut it off, his foot grew a couple sized. Xray at the hospital showed way less damage than the doctor expected, he was real lucky. The cruch sounded sick, same with the scream, but he was lucky. He sure looked like a asshole when he came back from the hospital at the end of the day. We were wrapping up as him and his wife pulled up. I laughed so hard I had tears coming down, I could barely breath. He called me a dick and said not everyones cut out for construction... No shit man. Its OK I just think you are funny, its not like I think you are the dumbest person I ever saw..

 

[Sisu]

You were a surveyor I take it? Calculator and theodolite equals surveyor to me, but could be wrong... Lol most guys my age would scratch their head, ask wtf that equipment is. I learned from old timers so I know how to work that stuff too. Even those old discontinued calcs... I may even have that shit in my shop. I collect all sorts of crap. My drywall tools I bought the whole lot for 50 bucks at a garage sale. Probably 2 grand in that box of suff

That's right. I had done a lot of boundary work before I started serious construction work. I was really lucky to end up with a seriously experienced rod man. He could have ran crews anywhere but didn't want the responsibility. He taught me a lot and we went on to work some shutdowns together as a team. Met some good folks.