hiker , of course I dont mind and Im happy that you find them helpful.
and please have in mind, that every person is different , it has its own limitations, and its own needs.
I chose to study social sciences in the university as a way of self-"medication". Understanding in an orderely manner how society and how people act, helped me understand them better in order for me to become more social. I categorized social constructions the way I was making stamp collections, or categories of nude photos from the internet. that was funny and in the same moment helped me understand more complex emotions. The most difficult part I think, was the one I had to accept that people sometimes do the opposite thing of what they are feeling. Like the boy who pulls the hair of the girl he likes. Or like a person being aggressive because he feels unsecure.
Because being truthfull and sincere was a quality everybody publicly acknowledge as good, an aspie's urge to be sincere isnt constraint. And that is a problem, because public declarations are not necessarily sincere by themselves
So understanding for example that people can lie for a big variety of reasons, came to my mind as a big shock.
But all in all, that was a matter of time. I already had the tools and the will to do that. So in reality the most difficult part were the first steps, like that you have to think how much information you have to tell to others before they start to get bored Or knowing that shutting your mouth up sometimes, can be way more successful in your quest to be coooool.
On the other hand I know another aspie who never really cared about socializing. He is an electrical engineer and utterly content with having most of his social contacts with his wife and kids. For him, socializing was more frustrating than the gain he would have and chose to discard it, except for the bare social necessities or for subjects he finds fascinating.
Being a kid is a very frustrating world. Being a kid with a different way of understanding the world, is even more frustrating. Kids want to emulate and to copy what the others do, thats the way the human race survives. So the urge to be one of the people is great. And before you want to be something different, you want to be the same.
For aspies, this process is much more difficult and for some of them is even impossible.
Well my parents never thought I "had" something. Ok they understood that their kid was a bit of a loner (my mother constantly tried to help me socialize to my great embarrassment and most of the times I was unsucessfull, lol), that he liked computers, speaking compulsively about all kinds of things he found fascinating, and was talking to himself all the time, but thats all. So that was bad in some parts (as I described I envy the aspiekid clients of my girlfriend), but on the other hand I didnt have the pressure some other parents put on their aspie-children treating them as some kind of savage-savant.
Like you know, you maybe a loner or you may like rocking back and forth but you are definitely going to be the next turing or the next tesla or I dont know who because you know 1000factoids about trains or airplanes.
Well, I had this girlfriend that her nephew was an aspie (like 8years old) and when she learned that I was too, she started telling me very excited how bright he is (her nephew) and how he was going to a behavioral psychologist that was helping him (from what I heard she was torturing him), and how he would be a great scientist. Well truthfully, I wouldnt want to be in his shoes. I mean think of this chap. All the pressure he has to excel, above all the other handicaps he may have from his aspieness. I really hope than when hell turn 14 he will tell everyone to go to hell.
and please have in mind, that every person is different , it has its own limitations, and its own needs.
I chose to study social sciences in the university as a way of self-"medication". Understanding in an orderely manner how society and how people act, helped me understand them better in order for me to become more social. I categorized social constructions the way I was making stamp collections, or categories of nude photos from the internet. that was funny and in the same moment helped me understand more complex emotions. The most difficult part I think, was the one I had to accept that people sometimes do the opposite thing of what they are feeling. Like the boy who pulls the hair of the girl he likes. Or like a person being aggressive because he feels unsecure.
Because being truthfull and sincere was a quality everybody publicly acknowledge as good, an aspie's urge to be sincere isnt constraint. And that is a problem, because public declarations are not necessarily sincere by themselves
So understanding for example that people can lie for a big variety of reasons, came to my mind as a big shock.
But all in all, that was a matter of time. I already had the tools and the will to do that. So in reality the most difficult part were the first steps, like that you have to think how much information you have to tell to others before they start to get bored
Or knowing that shutting your mouth up sometimes, can be way more successful in your quest to be coooool. On the other hand I know another aspie who never really cared about socializing. He is an electrical engineer and utterly content with having most of his social contacts with his wife and kids. For him, socializing was more frustrating than the gain he would have and chose to discard it, except for the bare social necessities or for subjects he finds fascinating.
Being a kid is a very frustrating world. Being a kid with a different way of understanding the world, is even more frustrating. Kids want to emulate and to copy what the others do, thats the way the human race survives. So the urge to be one of the people is great. And before you want to be something different, you want to be the same.
For aspies, this process is much more difficult and for some of them is even impossible.
Well my parents never thought I "had" something. Ok they understood that their kid was a bit of a loner (my mother constantly tried to help me socialize to my great embarrassment and most of the times I was unsucessfull, lol), that he liked computers, speaking compulsively about all kinds of things he found fascinating, and was talking to himself all the time, but thats all. So that was bad in some parts (as I described I envy the aspiekid clients of my girlfriend), but on the other hand I didnt have the pressure some other parents put on their aspie-children treating them as some kind of savage-savant.
Like you know, you maybe a loner or you may like rocking back and forth but you are definitely going to be the next turing or the next tesla or I dont know who because you know 1000factoids about trains or airplanes.
Well, I had this girlfriend that her nephew was an aspie (like 8years old) and when she learned that I was too, she started telling me very excited how bright he is (her nephew) and how he was going to a behavioral psychologist that was helping him (from what I heard she was torturing him), and how he would be a great scientist. Well truthfully, I wouldnt want to be in his shoes. I mean think of this chap. All the pressure he has to excel, above all the other handicaps he may have from his aspieness. I really hope than when hell turn 14 he will tell everyone to go to hell.
