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Probation Blues

designer

designer

Member
You know I just got out of jail for some horrible sins. I got 80 days but, I got some time knocked off for working in the kitchen. Having never had a physical job before I was quite the laughing stock trying to find my way around and not get burned or slip on something. I did get hurt a couple of times, but you can't tell them or they will take you out and take away your good time (and more importantly access to food).

So I did my time and my head is still reeling. Never did I ever meet a bigger bunch of assholes. I told them jail would not be so bad if it weren't for all the damn criminals. I also told them they were all ruining my whole jail experience. I swear every moment I was there was long and just about every encounter was close to a fight. A bunch of toothless maniacs that feel they need to defend some kind of honor all the time. Thank God I didn't hit someone or I would still be there.

So I am on probation. I have all this shit I have to do. I have to go to get a $300 drug assessment, all kinds of stuff that cost money. And I have been away awhile, so I don't really have any money. I got a shit load of fines too. And I have to take a piss test at their whim. They can just call me and tell me to go pee for them. Last two times I did it the guy looked like he was drooling while he watched me. He really loves his job.

So I smoked some weed. I don't know what I was thinking. I was with some friends playing beer pong and I smoked some hash. I even bought some and I don't know why. I am just waiting now for the phone call to go take another piss test in front of Richard Simmons.
 
Captain Ginyu

Captain Ginyu

Member
I feel for ya! I knew buddies that were in the can, I even did a tiny stint too. Fact is, the fuckers pretty much own your ass. They only hope you screw up so they can put you back, and make money off your incarceration, from the rest of us sheep taxpayers.

That's how it basically is. Many out there don't realize there's a large percentage of inmates doing time for shit they got in trouble while in the joint. Many more have sentences exceeding the original ones. To be honest, it is extremely hard to stay out of trouble once they got your ass in the system. Try to survive without getting shanked by being a good little boy, ( I think not!)
 
bobcat1963

bobcat1963

Parker Schnobel
Veteran
You got yourself into a situation where you have to play by their rules.My advice is to play by them,get your name out of the "system"and move on.If you don't they will have you for a lot longer.If they say piss then come up pissing clean.Does it suck?Of course it does I have been there too.Just jump when they say jump and you will come out of it and go back to your daily thing.BC
 
designer

designer

Member
Oh I know all this shit. Being locked up that is ALL we talk about. I met many a dude back in there for probation violation. It's just going to be a long road and I put this out as a warning to others. Stay out of the system any way you can. Ironically I was ratted out by a girl I dumped because she was desperate to keep me away from another girl long enough for me to un-dump her. She is still trying to work me and deny that she did it. But hear this... She said, "You will curse the day you dump me on the streets in the middle of winter. Curse the day." She was shaking and pointing her finger at me. Then she calls a couple days later and asked why I didn't answer my phone. I said I was trying to get my laptop fixed (that she dumped coke into) and I was with my other ex. She screamed so loud on the phone and I just hung it up. A couple hours later I am sitting on the sofa eating a taco and there was a loud serious knock on the door. My son, someone I have instructed about checking the door before opening, just opened the door. Man in blue said he was looking for me on outstanding warrants. Long story short they take me in the face up to some old charges I was hoping the statute of limitations would run out on. Bitch is still calling me and yahooing me. Trying to deny she had anything to do with it. Telling me to give her a chance in a different location not so close to any of my other ex's.
 
R

rogerw

Member
I feel for you. This is what the popo wants you to do. Take the early out and then they fuck with you forever. They will always find a way to keep you in the system. It always pisses me . I think your better off doing the time and get out and be free of them. That is what they do not want you to do because the state has to pay for all of your expenses . It's a many billion dollar a year business with parole officers , new jails , the people to keep you locked up and all of the satellite jobs created from the laws we have now. About 1/2 are MJ related . Sort of make me sick of how the SYSTEM works and we let them do it to us.
 
Campfire

Campfire

Member
What a hideous, corrupt, twisted society America is becoming. Freedom my ass. It's all about money and power. Yeah I know, it's a tired old rant, but it's a VALID one.

I think people everywhere are getting real close to the boiling-over point, and Big Control's oppressive dictatorship is about to take a dive.
 
trichrider

trichrider

Kiss My Ring
Veteran
[/quote]...and I smoked some hash. I even bought some and I don't know why. I am just waiting now for the phone call to go take another piss test in front of Richard Simmons.[/quote]

the man knows that stoners are going to do this...they BANK on it.
always pushing the envelope...till it tears, and then whining about the results...

best of luck, friend.
 
M

MMJcali

Member
man I did 30 days awhile ago for some shit while in college. Yea most of the people in there are uneducated and hardened, but seriously man you don't know what they've been through. Surviving the system is all about respect. I kept my nose clean, didn't piss anyone off, and by the end of my stay people were actually sad to see me go (not me, i was like fuck yall im out!) but really, probie sucks so I hear you there...I had a friend who was in it for two years. To pass your next piss test, drink tons of water and exercise. you want to sweat it out.

the sooner you comply, the sooner you're a free man. you can smoke for a week straight to celebrate. good luck man, the good times are right around the corner.
 
S

SmokinErb

Member
I got in trouble too. The only way to get out of the system is to play by the rules.

I've been clean and sober since my arrest on July 9th. I'm hoping I get off home detention by April. That would mean 2 years of probation. It's not worth slipping up on. The way probation works? Let's say you were sentenced to 2 years probation, and you complete 20 months before failing a piss test. You don't have a mere 4 more months to finish up in jail, you have the whole 2 years.

Parole > Probation. Each day on parole you complete comes off your sentence. Probation isn't complete until its complete.
 
designer

designer

Member
MMJcali said:
man I did 30 days awhile ago for some shit while in college. Yea most of the people in there are uneducated and hardened, but seriously man you don't know what they've been through. Surviving the system is all about respect. I kept my nose clean, didn't piss anyone off, and by the end of my stay people were actually sad to see me go (not me, i was like fuck yall im out!) but really, probie sucks so I hear you there...I had a friend who was in it for two years. To pass your next piss test, drink tons of water and exercise. you want to sweat it out.

the sooner you comply, the sooner you're a free man. you can smoke for a week straight to celebrate. good luck man, the good times are right around the corner.
Click to expand...


Yeah I joke about the people. I had a rough time at first because I am not the atypical inmate. I have had a pretty good life and initially I complained about Everything. By the end of my stay I think I seen tears in the eyes of a couple of the guys and almost did some hugging. I said I would stay in contact with them, but so far I haven't. I gave all my commissary and spare stuff to the poorest. They say it is bad luck to take anything out.

And about the probation... I did sort of fuck up. I have to stay away from everyone I think. I have some great friends, but they all seem to have hash now. I can say no to bud, but hash is my thing. Just smelling it on them after they come in from smoking makes me get to jonesing. I smoked some one night, about 4 hits. I bought an eighth of this hash and have some bud, but I am just keeping that around for chicks. I gave my pipes away.
 
yortbogey

yortbogey

To Have More ... Desire Less
Veteran
what ever dos'nt kill U ....only makeZ.....U stronger........:ying:
just learn to CYA.......cover your ass.........

and YES........learn to play the game...........
 
designer

designer

Member
There are some rules in jail. You have to give everything away or you will come back.

If you start a book you have to finish it or you will be back to finish it.

Stuff like that.

No ratting or implied ratting. And believe it not, people sort of rat a lot. I mean saying the wrong thing in front of the wrong people is a form of ratting. You never want to imply anything in front of the police. It's serious business. Being called a rat or being a rat is a certain fight.
 
HighDesertJoe

HighDesertJoe

COME ON PEOPLE NOW
Veteran
PRUNO For Everybody
my brother spent 6 months in county a couple words he taught me
Tea Bag
Donkey Punch
Reach Around
and to this day he doen't close the bathroom door when he's in there.
Good Luck Dude
 
supermanlives

supermanlives

Active member
Veteran
designer said:
There are some rules in jail. You have to give everything away or you will come back.

If you start a book you have to finish it or you will be back to finish it.

Stuff like that.

No ratting or implied ratting. And believe it not, people sort of rat a lot. I mean saying the wrong thing in front of the wrong people is a form of ratting. You never want to imply anything in front of the police. It's serious business. Being called a rat or being a rat is a certain fight.
Click to expand...
your not supposed to leave any graffiti or you will come back. also upon release you get drenched with water to wash away the jail sentance and not come back
 
S

SmokinErb

Member
Yep. If you write your name in the cell, you'll be back to see it. If you don't finish a book, you'll be back to finish it.

Never heard the gotta give all your shit away or you'll be back, but I do that regardless. As if I want jailhouse clothing, hygiene products and food anyway.
 
designer

designer

Member
SmokinErb said:
Yep. If you write your name in the cell, you'll be back to see it. If you don't finish a book, you'll be back to finish it.

Never heard the gotta give all your shit away or you'll be back, but I do that regardless. As if I want jailhouse clothing, hygiene products and food anyway.
Click to expand...


Oh shit I did this.


Any of you guys Make a Spread in Jail?

Guys would all pitch in food to make this thing called a spread just about every night. Main ingredient is Ramen noodles. After that anything goes. You make the noodles with tap water so they are cold when serving. You scoop it all up with tortillas they sell at the commissary. That was the big event. Guys would save rice and beans from our meals to throw in, sausage and corn chips (a spicy variety). I joked about making that when I get home. It is not for those watching their sodium.
 
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