Post Favorite Simpsons Quote

[ShroomDr]

'To make a long story short' is a phrase who's origins are complicated and rambling. Grandpa

 

[WelderDan]

"We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe...so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.

Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumble bees on 'em. 'Gimme five bees for a quarter', you'd say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was...that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..." - Grandpa Simpson

 

[Maj.Cottonmouth]

"We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe...so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.

Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumble bees on 'em. 'Gimme five bees for a quarter', you'd say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was...that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..." - Grandpa Simpson

WINNER!

 

[bentom187]

not my favorite but still funny.

 

[cody2white]

Why you little!

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

 

[yortbogey]

So then I said to the cop, "No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk." ~ Lenny

 

[ShroomDr]

Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that ... building ... thingie ... where our beds and TV ... is.

 

[angustotse]

But I don't even believe in Jeebus! - Homer


They call them fingers, but I never see them fing
Whoah, there they go - Otto

I also like this one:

Maybe just once, someone will call me, Sir, without adding, You're making a scene. -Homer

 

[John Deere]

I don't know why; it's a perfectly cromulent word. - Miss Hoover

Lisa: Bart! What are you doing here?
Bart: Uh, (stammers) not smoking reefer.
Blues Musician: Uh, that's right. We--we all not smokin' reefer.

 

[ShroomDr]

Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot, that he himself could not eat it?
-Homer to Ned

 

[RudolfTheRed]

'Now don't worry, I'm not a stabbin' hobo, I'm a singin' hobo! :singing: Nothing beats the hobo life! Stabbin' folks with my hobo knife! ' -- the singing hobo

 

[guerilla415]

What I wouldnt give to hear another one of Lisa's jazzy tunes

Homer playing saxaphone: Saxamaphone
Saxamaphone

 

[ShroomDr]

Frank Grimes: Your home is a palace; i live above a bowling alley.. and below another.
Homer: Wow.

Frank Grimes: You, You were in outerspace?
Homer: Sure... Youve never been?

 

[guerilla415]

Why are my bones so brittle? Ive been drinking plenty of...Malk???

Malk
Now with vitamin R!

 

[jahrastafareye]

"are you going to start any fires ralph?"
"in my house , we call 'em uh-ohs."


"my names rod and my hobbies include being quiet...and .. diabetes."
-ned flanders in a video he made for rod or tods birthday.

 

[guerilla415]

Stupid Sexy Flanders!!!

 

[Anti]

so many memories flooding back... keep it up ya'll. -.\nti

 

[-BG-]

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
-Homer

 

[guerilla415]

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to tell them that your prejudice against all races.

 

[Vesuvius]

bacon up that sausage boy