Culture-shock: Social Retard Moves From Midwest to SW Coast

[catman]

Hello all

I have lived a very sheltered life in small town-rural America and now I must survive in a major city in the Southwest Coast. I'm use to coming in to contact with no more than two dozen people a day and I struggled even in those environments in part because I have several mental illnesses. I knew I wasn't going to be able to handle to this all, but I desperately needed a change as I had no desire to live.

I feel like I have thousands of specifics questions, but they are so overwhelming that I don't know what to say. So for starters, any advice what so ever is much appreciated regardless if you can relate or not. I have gone from a place where one can leave the keys in the ignition at night to a place where nobody looks each other in the eye. Things should be better in the long run, but I just don't know how I'm suppose to cope with all these changes, everyday struggles, and so forth without help from others, but there just are very few people who can relate to me and my circumstances. I figured this would be a good move for my health in the long run, but it could be a long time before I can have my medicine and it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I rarely have turned to others in the past for help and that is one reason I'm such a mess right now. Thanks for reading. -catman

 

[Cheeb]

embrace the change brother!

I think you did the perfect thing.

 

[Govinda]

Most of the people on the street as just as scared as you are, just remember that the majority of those out there would appreciate a little show of humanity from you just as much as you would from them. It alright if your social execution isn't flawless, only the most confused and self-absorbed will fail to recognize and benefit from an attempt at kindness. Even if you don't have many friends you can begin to inject some more interaction into your life, make small talk with employees at places you go often, generally the conversation is a welcome relief from work.

 

[kyndone]

i moved from a very small town on the coast of nor Ca. ( pop. 3000) to Las Vegas, when i was 19, major culture shock, i was the type of personality who wanted to make friends with anyone, and everyone, which turned out bad, 98% of the time, but in the long run, it taught me, what i wanted in a true friend, bad side is, i dont trust anyone anymore, and i have become very introverted, vegas was a good place to learn about bad people, i have lived in so Ca. for the last 15 years, and i love it here, more expensive to live but this weather makes it worth it, some family close to new york said it was 15 below. burr, no thanks., you picked a good place to be, and people are usually only the not look you in the eye type, till they get to know you, make yourself happy, and you will be able to make others happy.its messed up out there, you gotta be careful who you trust, but you will find good people.

 

[bombadil.360]

hey catman, do you have a cat already in your new place? if not, what r u waiting for? go adopt one.

maybe a puppy too? raise them together and they will get along just fine.

talk to people, to the pretty ladies, oh the ladies, gotta love them. just have fun talking, joke around, be light hearted, and honest, frank, you know? true to the brew, no need to put another head on top of the one you already got.

where's the herb out there?

just the fact you moved out there shows you have what it takes to learn to ride any situation.

peace and light

 

[mriko]

Catman, I can somewhat relate to what's your going through. Some social settings requiring repeated and mutliple interactions can get pretty unnerving to me and hard to deal with.

Self-confidence is one main thing to work on. By moving from your quite little place to that big city, you probably have also moved from being someone (in your small community people knew you, who you are, and so on, right ?), to being a "nobody".
You're just one person among a few millions others and this dive in anonymity can be rough for some.

Confront, as much as you can, your fears and anxieties. This remains one of the surest way to get rid of agoraphobic tendencis. Go easy, step by step, and try to be relaxed and smiley, smiling always makes things better, for you as much as for others.

As written above, beware of whom you'll put your trust into. Cities are just urban jungle and lots of predators in there, but also lots of good people (man, that is deep thinking... lol !)


And, last but not least, which straing are you smoking ? Find the right genetics for you, those who can help you with socializing. Acapulco gold is nice for that...


Just my 2 cents... take care !


Irie !

 

[ben ttech]

Hello all

I have lived a very sheltered life in small town-rural America

everything you were led to believe was a lie.

 

[mriko]

everything you were led to believe was a lie.

humpf, everything we are led to believe is a lie, wether your in big cities or countryside, big cities certainly even worse !

Irie !

 

[catman]

Most of the people on the street as just as scared as you are, just remember that the majority of those out there would appreciate a little show of humanity from you just as much as you would from them. Even if you don't have many friends you can begin to inject some more interaction into your life, make small talk with employees at places you go often, generally the conversation is a welcome relief from work.

I've already been surprised about how nice some people are. I'm just in a terrible neighborhood and though I'd like to leave, it saddens me how prevalent discrimination and segregation is here regarding social economic class, race, etc.

I don't go anywhere, but to get necessities. I can sometimes do small talk, but the reality is I'm just not interested much in other people and they can't stand me.

i moved from a very small town on the coast of nor Ca. ( pop. 3000) to Las Vegas, when i was 19, major culture shock, i was the type of personality who wanted to make friends with anyone, and everyone, which turned out bad, 98% of the time, but in the long run, it taught me, what i wanted in a true friend, bad side is, i dont trust anyone anymore, and i have become very introverted, vegas was a good place to learn about bad people, i have lived in so Ca. for the last 15 years, and i love it here, more expensive to live but this weather makes it worth it, some family close to new york said it was 15 below. burr, no thanks., you picked a good place to be, and people are usually only the not look you in the eye type, till they get to know you, make yourself happy, and you will be able to make others happy.its messed up out there, you gotta be careful who you trust, but you will find good people.

Vegas would for sure be more different than where I'm at, but where I am come from, high school classes consist of about a dozen students. I hardly trust anyone either and I value my future too much to risk dealing with the wrong people, but what good is the future if I'm not even able to function in the now. A good person to me is someone who realizes I suffer and they will help me. There is no one out there like that. In the past I've always played along with manipulation to get my medicine unless I was providing for myself. I still will keep going to doctors, but it is hard to trust them when they don't even trust each other. If I ever mention what another doctor said, they really do just call them idiots. There is nobody who is truly invested in me beside myself and I jumped into trying to understand my illnesses and I'm sinking to the bottom. I agree that society is messed up and that wouldn't bother me so much if anyone tried to do anything about it.

hey catman, do you have a cat already in your new place? if not, what r u waiting for? go adopt one.

talk to people, to the pretty ladies, oh the ladies, gotta love them. just have fun talking, joke around, be light hearted, and honest, frank, you know? true to the brew, no need to put another head on top of the one you already got.

where's the herb out there?

just the fact you moved out there shows you have what it takes to learn to ride any situation.

I don't have a cat yet, but I wish I did. If I can get my shit together I will get a house and then I can get one. I'd volunteer with animals again, but it doesn't work well with my work hours.

I'm only interested in finding a life-long partner and I'm excessively picky on top of just being weird. I want to have my shit together before I start a family. I still have scars from previous relationships. It will always be difficult for me to do such things, but what hurts the most is how people misunderstand and treat me.

I'm sure there is plenty of meds out there, but I am so afraid to get into any trouble what so ever. I really, really want to get into the game legally and I'm okay with waiting for that to happen. I don't want to risk losing that nor do I not want to suffer. Sometimes I do feel like I can handle any situation, but the reality is I struggle with so many simple things so people overlook what I'm great at if they even give me the chance.

Self-confidence is one main thing to work on. By moving from your quite little place to that big city, you probably have also moved from being someone (in your small community people knew you, who you are, and so on, right ?), to being a "nobody".
You're just one person among a few millions others and this dive in anonymity can be rough for some.

Confront, as much as you can, your fears and anxieties. This remains one of the surest way to get rid of agoraphobic tendencis. Go easy, step by step, and try to be relaxed and smiley, smiling always makes things better, for you as much as for others.

As written above, beware of whom you'll put your trust into. Cities are just urban jungle and lots of predators in there, but also lots of good people (man, that is deep thinking... lol !)

I was a 'nobody' even in my previous small community and I'm not just saying that out of apathy. I really think your advice is good as people do have 'identity shifts' when changing their surroundings, but my quasi-friends are still with me, on the internet. I just put on a facade that everything is going great and that does seem to attract more people, but I truly enjoy helping those who need it most. I usually only need help with silly favors that anyone can do such as getting medicine.

I don't know what relaxation is. I'm not happy doing nothing and I can't find anything worth doing. Yeah, I sound depressed. I have been for many years and I've taken all sorts of pills and what has helped me the most causes me major stress. Being a grower changed my identity in both good and bad ways. Now, I'm sad because I want the good things that come from it, but I can't have them. And I'm left with the negative mentality of having to be safe-no matter what. Hell, I'm worried I could get charged for conspiracy because other people have the keys to my door. I am fortunate that I have a family who could help me get a house, but just earlier today I shared the feelings I am now and they don't think it is a good idea anymore. I do want a house for the right reasons, but my number one priority would be to treat myself safe and I know that should not be number one. All I can do is cause myself more stress and/or be upset with those who govern. I'm a do-er and not a bitcher, but advocating would also create more stress and draw attention to me.

And, last but not least, which straing are you smoking ? Find the right genetics for you, those who can help you with socializing. Acapulco gold is nice for that...

I have no idea, but I don't more than a few days more left. I would almost say that I don't like indicas at all, but they are better than nothing at times. I have grown DG's Merlin Magic (Acapulco Gold x C99) and it was great medicine that just can not be found floating around. I know it works for me and I know it will work for other people. I want to get into the canna industry to help people foremost and not just make money.

I know what my calling is, but it seems so far away like it could never happen, but so did this move. Without medication I just can't be me and I'm fucked anyway I can get back on it in the near future. I'd pack my bags and move to CA in a heart-beat if things don't work out well with my company. I've been used and abused by this company time and time again, but things are the best they ever have been.

I don't know what the hell to do. Maybe I can find a good doctor or a good lady will find me. Until then, all I really have is people who don't know on the internet. It at least makes me feel better that some of you are willing to offer help just to someone who needs it without expecting to get anything out of it aside from the joy of doing it. Thanks everyone. I feel a little better knowing you guys exist and having gotten some things off my chest. I'm not even sure what I'm feeling or what to say. I'm not frustrated or sad, I feel like I'm in a sate of nothing to cope with those emotions. I'm wanting to cry, but these fucking medications I am prescribed time and time again numb me. I could go on for hours and I will in my head, but I'll leave it at that for now. Thanks again for all the replies.

 

[turbolaser4528]

I hear ya, try to be strong brotha and remember tomorrow is always a new day !

Maybe try some 5-htp, always gives me a nice serotonin boost when I'm feelin down and can be acquired cheaply at your local CVS or GNC.


I don't know what else to say ?!?! Can you get a medical card ? That would alleviate some major stress in regards to growing and finding quality meds.

 

[Bacchus]

Smile often.... Join a club or group.... social, religious, alcoholic, athletic..... get out there and meet the people.

 

[bullybigbud]

I hear ya ...

I hear ya ...

Catman - I totally relate. Moved from a small, safe, and very popular town that ranks high on the best places to live in the US to a huge southern city. I left for a job that I subsequently lost anyway due to the economy (my yankee balls may have had something to do with it too). Be grateful you don't live in a uber conservative city. I can't tell you how hard is to fit in here. I don't trust anyone. The hard core bible beaters are the most hypocritical people you will ever meet. A lot of people like it here because you can be fake, conniving, dishonest, and fit right in. Being honest and real is a weakness here. Wouldn't want to expose the truth. Struggle everyday when I have to be out with others. I find music can be a good friend and inspiring. Being jobless has hit me harder than I could ever imagine. I'm not alone so that makes it easier but the stresses of a bad economy and living in a backwards ass city puts enormous stress on a relationship. I could go on but just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Hang in there !
bbb

 

[PoopyTeaBags]

catman.... if you live in a shity neighborhood... you are not where you need to be... This is not where you want to meet new people.... I lived in the city for the first 26 years of my life... Its a great place to be FROM but not to live IMHO...

Ive learned alot dealing with scum 24/7 and the first thing to do is trust your instincts... 90% of people in the city are not worth your time... its hard to meet real nice people when your just moved... best bet is a new job.. .even if you dont need it.. i find restaurants and places with alot of people are a decent find...

and really i dont have many friends of my own due to choice... IC MAG can be your best friend... ive have more friends on here then i do in real life... stick with it and the most important thing i can tell you is to do shit to stay out of your own head....

you can be your own worse nightmare... Less thought you give it the better you will be off.. find a video game maybe facebook some people in that area... little things...

 

[johnny butt]

Yo Catman, you have some friends around here bro.

Don't get down too much, but you have to do what makes you happy now. Whether that's another cab thread, or a fine little lady to poke, you just gotta do it man. You might have to sift through some crap to find the nice people but they're out there, and in the meantime you have to do your best to make yourself happy. Don't rely on others for that. Once you're good on your own, it makes it that much easier to meet people.


Either way, you got some buds around here bro, feel free to hit me up whenever for whatever.

JB

 

[StoneByName]

Already been said but join a club, night class, sport etc. You will meet new people who live near ya and gain useful skills.