Married & Divorced Members: Knowing She's the right one?

[GrassRoots]

Hey everyone, I'm considering marriage. How did you know your partner was the right one for you?

And for you divorced members, offer us advice about the red flags you wish you could have noticed before you got married.

Support me, scare me, whatever. Bring on some stories and advice!

 

[WeldFlash420]

Love at first sight, then it was five yrs of hell til things smoothed out. Now 12 yrs from the day, its become the best journey of my life so far....good luck with yours....peace and shine on.

 

[Classyathome]

Mine was a combo of her and her family...

I knew pretty quick that she was the "ONE", and her family was the most loving, beautiful group of folks I'd ever spent time with.

I adore my mother-in-law (I quit smokin cigs almost 5 yrs ago, because she told me to), and my late father-in-law was one of my best friends (he's been gone 14 yrs., and I miss him every day).

All her brothers and sisters are MY brothers and sisters now - they all made me feel like one of the family right from day 1...

My wife is my best friend - we have had some rough spots (mostly me), but we always work it out, and we have 2 beautiful sons, and a wonderful life together...

I lucked out - but kid her that SHE got the crappy deal.

It takes alot of work to stay in love - but an effort that paid me back 1,000,000 fold...

 

[GeorgeSmiley]

I can say that with my wife it was love at first site but......

I don't think anyone ever "knows" you just have to try and you will succeed or fail.


Cheers
George

 

[the lonely shoe]

my wife neither drinks (well v.rarely)....nor smokes......she just lets me get on with it...... guess i'm one of the lucky ones

 

[flyingkite]

my wife neither drinks (well v.rarely)....nor smokes......she just lets me get on with it...... guess i'm one of the lucky ones

Yes you are...

 

[kannubis]

It is only right as long as you both keep making the effort to make it feel right.
Today's belief in a disposable society attitude is one of the biggest reasons for divorce rates being so out of whack.
You gotta keep putting the effort into maintaining the relationship just like tending your garden.
It has to be right for you!

 

[Haps]

Marraige is a trap. If you can not live without her, well ya can't. But you will pay, and pay, and compromise, and loose your liberty. Run away if you can.

 

[Miss Blunted]

It's a 2 way street, if one of you takes a turn off of it, it's over. For better or worse, cliche as it sounds, take that litterally...because it will be better in times and worse in others. I'll let you know when I get to the end of my life and sum it all up whether it was worth it or not, haha

 

[Stoner4Life]

the fact that you're here asking us stoners for love advice
tells me that she ain't the one, you'll know it when it's right.

btw, does Yummybud know you're trying to work his corner?
best step off bro 'fore he lays some whup ass on ya.......

 

[GrassRoots]

Too funny. I was going to make a yummybud comment in the original post, since this seems like something he'll be asking about eventually.

You're probably right s4l, if she was the one, I probably wouldn't be asking. Truth be told, I don't see the point of marriage when the two of us don't want to have kids. I'm committed now, what's the ceremony going to do but make it expensive and more difficult if either of us ever changes our minds/hearts?

Anyway, I'm just scared. We get along so well most of the time but she's a lot like her Mom. I feel that I'm a lot like her Dad. Her parents don't get along well at all. They should be divorced. There had to have been a time where they felt more like we do now. I'm scared of going down the road that her parents are on. Doesn't look fun.

Keep it coming though guys and gals. I know we've got a lot of older members with plenty of life experience that I can learn from.

 

[cyberwax]

Love at first sight is like finding a pair of pants that fit on the first try, but you know they will wear out in time, like every other pair you've had.

So only advice i have is follow your heart until your mind fills in.

 

[JacuzziSplot]

Well my marriage didnt work out mainly because she was the type who needs constant attention and I am the type who likes to have time with my friends away from my girl. Plus we were both very stubborn. I would watch out if she calls you every couple of hours whenever you leave and/or asks your friends casual questions to try and catch you lying big red flag. Girls like that my be very passionate and excited but you will grow to resent them.

If you cant trust each other 100% you will never respect each other.

 

[the lonely shoe]

Love at first sight is like finding a pair of pants that fit on the first try, but you know they will wear out in time, like every other pair you've had.

So only advice i have is follow your heart until your mind fills in.

i find that with my missus' knickers
sometimes i have to wear my own!!!!

 

[Double Kindness]

My husband said he fell in love with me on our 3rd date when I cooked him a Korean dinner in his tiny kitchen with chopsticks wearing heels... I knew he was the one a few months later when I saw what kind of person he was and not what was just on the outside. We have had times when it would have been so much easier to quit and walk away, but we stuck and fought it out to stay together... and honestly there are times that seem that are endless when the other person is your least favorite person in the world, but we duked it out and have made it a few more years further down the road and have a much better relationship now, which I do attribute to us both being cannabis users and now growers.

I do have to second the thought that if you're asking us... then you're probably not ready to get married.

 

[ResinKing]

Im not married , but I know my woman wants to someday , I have never spoke about this with her as I feel if I did , she might think Im thinkin about asking her !! But I know a lot of married people like you's do , and I tell ya MOST OF THEM AINT HAPPY ! im not saying dont get married , but what difference does it really mean in your life. You might get some tax breaks depending on where you live and it will cost you a shitload of cash on the ''big day'' Usually they say when you get married , its all downhill from there..

 

[ROJO145]

Maybe Im getting old,but I miss the days when men kept there feelings inside,to much open forumn MUSH!!All you sensitive fuckers out there searchin for the right lady!!Keep all that personal shit to yourselves or go finda fuckin relationship forum!!
I detest the Yummification that I see goin on around here

 

[feral]

I was with the same woman for 17 years with 14 of those living together. 2 kids, house, pets. But we worked different hours and basically never saw each other. We grew apart. The last 2 years were shear hell. She wanted out and I wanted us to stay together for the kids.
Even if you are without a doubt, sure 100%, no questions asked that she is the one just remember one thing, time does change everything. If you can accept that you'll be good to go.

 

[bombadil.360]

btw, does Yummybud know you're trying to work his corner?
best step off bro 'fore he lays some whup ass on ya.......

oh shit!!!!!!!!!!!! now it is on, watch out because the Yums does not ride with blanks!

 

[GrassRoots]

So here we are 7 months later and.....(drum roll).......I'm going to ask her to marry me this weekend. I've never been happier, she's a great girl and these days I am sure that she is the right one for me. Thanks for the advice and jokes.

I'm taking her on a picnic to one of our favorite state parks this sunday and asking her there. I asked her parents permission yesterday and it all went well (as expected). I was going to wait for our anniversary, the middle of next month, but I'm just too excited and can't wait!

Wish me luck. Thanks again guys and gals.