The heartbreak of alcoholism.

[nephilthim]

my dad is an alcoholic whose money enables him the ability to never look inward.I dont like to talk to him,and haven't spoken to him in just about a year,and I have no regrets.
he told me a few years back that I wished him dead and I didn't love him.I laughed at him looked him right in the eye and said no dad you got it all wrong I love you very much,I just don't like you.
that said I wish you could find the peace between love and like and which one to dispense to help you son.I wouldn't want anyone to die in a snowbank.
a friend of mine in idaho whose parents had both died had problems with alcohol as well as his anger,and had a habit of picking fights with friends random people.
he started in on me one night i had about 15 inches and a hundred pounds over him.
I told him josh I know what you are doing, I am telling you right now I will not fight you,and the very thought depresses me.
he just looked at me for a while sighed and realised I wasn't going to be baited.
do whatever your heart tells you but be at peace with your decision,go to a children of alcoholics meeting and you will find kindred spirits seeking and offering help and support.

 

[motaloca]

I feel for you as a father and alcoholic myself. I pretty much have my drinking under control now.
I lost my uncle to alcohol last year.
hope you and your son sort out things.
peace

 

[Mr.tokemann420]

Sounds like the boys givin up all hope, now he's speeding down the road to death..without love or support he'll just keep trying to escape reality untill he eventually becomes ill or loses all will to live and ends himself..not tryin to sound harsh man but someone needs to let u know the outcome of the situation.. family blaimming each other, thinkin to yourself..if i would of done that instead i bet he'd still be alive type thoughts night after night.. just not the way u wanna go, but then again with some ppl thats the only way. anyway i wish u and your family the best and hope ur son gets a grip and pulls thru.

peace an love.

 

[PnkFloydianSlip]

Have you considered treating him with Iboga?

 

[kweezy]

tough love man.. u juss gotta do it

 

[draco]

my sincere thanks to all. there is a lot of history that i won't go into here but he has been in recovery ten times. he made some bad choices for friends early on and it seems that his expectations for this life are very low - many of his old friends are struggling with addictions. i guess he thinks addictions are a normal part of life? i just don't know...

this is the hardest decision i have ever made and i feel just awful. he knows that i love him. i know that i may never see him again in this life and if that's the case, part of me will die. i know this. either he will survive or he won't and i will live with the outcome.

it's all been on me since his mom died and i did my best. i will not watch this horror story continue to unfold and support it by allowing it to flourish, further ruining my life, that of my spouse and others that love and care for him.

i allowed it for far too long.

 

[PnkFloydianSlip]

Ibogine therapy can work in one treatment with no withdrawal symptoms, whatsoever. I read that the whole rehab program lasts only a week or so. It has been a subject of fascination of mine for a while now even tho I have no chemical addictions.. Iboga/Ibogine= real medicine. just food for thought.

 

[antimatter]

This is a sad story I would really try and get him into a treatment center and into AA or NA meetings or something if you haven't already. I don't really know what to say, is there anywhere you can give him shelter but not have him live with you. Definitely don't give him money for alcohol/drugs.

Addictions are a normal part of life, and poor/rich doesn't matter. Im addicted to health and growing, others are addicted to crack its just how things go.

 

[tinman]

If you got to that point, you did the right thing. Alcoholics are the most selfish beings there are and they will kill you slowly. A lot of the time trying to help them just enables their disease even more.

Until he wants to change, he won't....I hope he can pull it together for you. I've had alcohol related deaths all over my family and it's unfair to everyone.

truer words have not been spoken here my friend. im here if ya need to talk,just pm me. helping you is the only way i can repay the gift so freely given to me.
tinman

 

[draco]

thanks for the thoughtful replies everyone.

i guess i just need to spill it a little... there are some real humans here and all i can say is thanks.

my heart finally spoke with one voice - but brutal truth is hard to swallow.

one day at a time... i'm grateful that the other four are healthy and doing well.

show your love today everyone...

 

[blinx420]

I go on drinking binges for months if I want to but I have control over it to where I can just stop an smoke pot to keep me busy have you tried turning him into a pot head?

 

[captain kirk]

i feel for ya Draco... my dad was an alcoholic and my wife seems to have a problem as well... really really hard to deal with.. i have 2 sons myself and cant imagine going through that with them...

stick by your decision ....and if you havent let him know that you love him..

this post just breaks my heart... you and your son are in my thoughts and prayers!!!

much love

 

[tinman]

thanks for the thoughtful replies everyone.

i guess i just need to spill it a little... there are some real humans here and all i can say is thanks.

my heart finally spoke with one voice - but brutal truth is hard to swallow.

one day at a time... i'm grateful that the other four are healthy and doing well.

show your love today everyone...

yer a good man and father!!! props! we're here when ya need us.
brotherly love to you and your family.........tinman

 

[poina]

First off, my sympathy. Hard thing for a man to have to do.
Second, you did the RIGHT thing.

Your son needs to fully understand the lifelong battle he has on his hands and he also needs to KNOW you will be there for him if he can deliver.

I think you handled things well but would advise you to talk to him soon, set the ground rules for your relationship. Tough love, man

Alcoholism has wrecked 4 generations of my family, what's fucking hard to believe is it's legal.

 

[jd4083]

I go on drinking binges for months if I want to but I have control over it to where I can just stop an smoke pot to keep me busy have you tried turning him into a pot head?

Is this a serious post or what? Gimme a fuckin break...this guy's got a real issue and you're posting stuff like this. Come on. The last thing his drug addict son needs is a new vice to try to replace an old one...

 

[ol briarhopper]

Let me state my qualifications to post this thread....I am a recovering alcoholic myself and wasted a lot of valuable time on the sauce.Your son will grow up.Us guys dont really mature until after 30.I myself was about 40 when I realized I was sick and needed help.Your son has to realize it himself that he needs help.You cant force sobriety on him...it wont work.His genetic makeup may have something to do with his problem.Genetic alcoholism is very real.But dont give up on him....he needs you now more than ever.My family never gave up on me and I finally realized they were right.I started drinking every thing I could get when I was about 12 and by the time I was in my early 20s I was full blown.Those beer commercials in the 70s with those bikini clad chicks playin volleyball were great but they forgot to mention anything about being careful so that you didnt become an alcoholic.Anyway....thats my story and it kind of sounds like your sons.Dont give up Dad.He will still make you proud.....ol briar

 

[ol briarhopper]

P.S.....I am the fuckin youth gone wild.

 

[Moldy Dreads]

as an alcoholic it takes every ounce of energy from yourself and others around you to stay dry. my opinion is you did the wrong thing....dont bite me just my opinion. the bottle can be a persons best friend when you have nothing to lose and right now i imagine he feels that way. a few weeks just doesnt cure the addiction its a lifelong process, and hes your boy you need to be there to help him no matter what. 20 years down the road he may say "dad man i was going through a tuff time and you was always there to help". not picking up your phone is not a good idea he may be willing to try now that he sees whats happening to him and his loved ones. i wish you and him the best bud, i hope you dont see my post as you being the bad man i just see things through my point of view ive seen many friends and loved ones like him go into a downward spiral and when they hit the ground theres nobody there for them so they just pick the bottle up again or just say fuck it and end it all. my blessings are with you and him.

I totally agree that he needs help and not be ignored.If you ignore him, he will get more self destructive. He is begging for help, but may be too proud, and the bottle is the only thing that brings a temporary euphoria and fuck-everything feeling....why is alcohol so popular in society yet herb is demonized, terrible..

Best of luck to you, maybe a different approach would help?
Tell him he's all you got in the world? Shit, I don't know what to say, so sad his mom died too..

 

[Quiet_Riot]

Alcoholism has wrecked 4 generations of my family, what's fucking hard to believe is it's legal.

You got the answer to why it's legal in your own sentence, it simply splits, divides people and their minds, souls and hearts.
And it's "good" money... Tsk... But if it weren't legal, more would properly die, and more crime(?!) would arrise, I can imagine...


Hope you and your son will be a good terms soon as possible, reach out to him maybe, you're "the adult". I know alcoholics takes your energy. Believe me... And I hope that he of course stops drinking. Sounds like he thinks he has nothing and noone in this world, maybe you help him change that perspective. But then again, it's him who needs to make the dicisions, actively, in the end, to get beginning again!
Hope & Peace

 

[SpasticGramps]

That's brutal man. Alcohol addiction is devasting for a family.

As hard as it was you should know that you did the right thing by not "enabling" him. Addicts can only help themselves in the end and can suck the life out of sober people's lives.

Wishing you all the best man. Life is a tough game to play. Sometimes you are dealt some real shitty hands. That's hard to hear.