The heartbreak of alcoholism.

[draco]

this will be short

six years active alcoholic, my son is now homeless. i put him out in the street.

hardest damn thing. his mom died when he was five ( he is now mid 20's) and it's been a long torturous road for him. five weeks ago (after a week in ic where he blew .48), i offered our home for a while under conditions, hoping he would smell the coffee. he was good for a week or two after he got here and then two nights ago he shows up in the kitchen stinkin drunk - could hardly stand. been drinking right under my nose for some days it turns out...

somehow i got him to the ER; they treated him and took him to detox in a nearby city. today i packed his stuff and dropped it off at the facility along with a letter, a family picture and names and addresses for the shelter. he tried calling a lot when he was discharged but i didn't pick up.

 

[kiree]

oh, man....that sucks.... mid 20's ? people usually call those guys "students", not "alcoholics"....does he drink because of his problems or does he just celebrate somethin every day ?

 

[draco]

oh, man....that sucks.... mid 20's ? people usually call those guys "students", not "alcoholics"....does he drink because of his problems or does he just celebrate somethin every day ?

he ain't got much to celebrate.

 

[Iron_Lion]

alcoholics are the hardest people to deal with. i had a few alcholic uncles and when they'd get drunk I'd want to beat the shit out of them.
I have no love for drunks.

 

[TrichyTrichy]

lots of love to you during this difficult time.

 

[kiree]

i think that breaking the connection with him will make the situation even harder for him....alcoholism is a tough topic. Like some drugs it leads to physical dependence, so you cant just expect him to stop drinking. He needs some professional help and the support from his family. It would suck to see a young man waste his life for a bottle of gin. Everyone can get over it, he just needs some support.

alcoholics are the hardest people to deal with. i had a few alcholic uncles and when they'd get drunk I'd want to beat the shit out of them.
I have no love for drunks.

Yeah..thats the problem with most of us...my father once came home drunk from a party (he never drinks alcohol)....he slapped me because Im "an addict" and grow weed....I was like 19...I went outside to chill out, when I heard him shouthing at my little brother and my mother (he was 8 and everything was happening at 3 am)....i ran inside and knocked the fu*k outta him....he was unconscious till morning....the next morning he said that he doesnt remember anything and that he was sorry....2 years later he said that he remembers what I did, but that it is OK....alcohol is a bitch

 

[draco]

thanks Trichy

 

[tinman]

this will be short

six years active alcoholic, my son is now homeless. i put him out in the street.

hardest damn thing. his mom died when he was five ( he is now mid 20's) and it's been a long torturous road for him. five weeks ago (after a week in ic where he blew .48), i offered our home for a while under conditions, hoping he would smell the coffee. he was good for a week or two after he got here and then two nights ago he shows up in the kitchen stinkin drunk - could hardly stand. been drinking right under my nose for some days it turns out...

somehow i got him to the ER; they treated him and took him to detox in a nearby city. today i packed his stuff and dropped it off at the facility along with a letter, a family picture and names and addresses for the shelter. he tried calling a lot when he was discharged but i didn't pick up.

hey man,my heart goes out to ya. im a recovered alcoholic for 20 years now and it can still take work. i lost my son a few months back to a drug overdose and havent got thru it yet. keep on hopin and prayin(or whatever you do for strength) and thing will go the way theyre guna go. do the right thing and dont blame yerself if he dont wake up! this sickness destroys familys so be cafull not to let him do that to ya'll.......kind regards,tinman

 

[spyvsspy]

Wow, sorry to hear Draco. That's a tough situation any way you slice it. Alcoholism is a tough addiction to deal with. Tinman gave some great advice about not blaming yourself. My girlfriends step father is a recovering (on and off) alcoholic. He's a great man (Dr.) when he's not drinking, but as soon as he gets one drink in him, shit hits the fan. It tore their family apart because everyone in the family ended up blaming themselves, don't let it happen to yours. As tough as it is, sounds like you made the right decision. Stay strong, and you'll be in my prayers.
-spy

 

[fart star]

draco,

I feel you man. Been around alcoholism quite a bit in my short life. To cut him off is probably a hard, hard decision. Allowing him a place to crash and continue to drink is just going to enable him to continue his path of waste. He's got alot of life left if he wakes up from his haze. Thats his journey though but you've got yours to live too, as hard as it is right now. I'll send some vibes for you guys peace

 

[steppinRazor]

wow. my condolences to you and your son.
i know how rough it can be in this situation, not as a parent but as an alcoholic.
i know you feel like you've done all you can - and im sure you really have.
obviously being in an IC unit hasnt phased him much, being on the streets will phase him, but it wont phase his alcoholism.

i encourage you to stay in contact with him im some shape or form, and offer the ultimatum - accepting long term treatment.

i have alot to say but after i type it its deleted pretty quickly after, as i am a hypocrite
i blew a .496 after being found in a snow drift unconscious back in december..

 

[Classyathome]

this will be short

six years active alcoholic, my son is now homeless. i put him out in the street.

hardest damn thing. his mom died when he was five ( he is now mid 20's) and it's been a long torturous road for him. five weeks ago (after a week in ic where he blew .48), i offered our home for a while under conditions, hoping he would smell the coffee. he was good for a week or two after he got here and then two nights ago he shows up in the kitchen stinkin drunk - could hardly stand. been drinking right under my nose for some days it turns out...

somehow i got him to the ER; they treated him and took him to detox in a nearby city. today i packed his stuff and dropped it off at the facility along with a letter, a family picture and names and addresses for the shelter. he tried calling a lot when he was discharged but i didn't pick up.

I feel for ya, man. I'm a father, and that choice would kill me.

I have my own prob w/ the bottle - went 10 yrs sober after a DUI. I was sober at my stag.

I was married 4 yrs before my wife saw me take a drink. She still prefers me high to drunk, and she isn't pleased about me gettin' high.

My boys both hate to see me drink - even just a couple o' beers.

Truth is, I don't enjoy booze, and would rather not ever drink again. But, don't always have weed, and a man hasta get crazy sometimes...

I hope your son gets help - peace and pot to you and him both...

 

[buckeye-leaf]

as an alcoholic it takes every ounce of energy from yourself and others around you to stay dry. my opinion is you did the wrong thing....dont bite me just my opinion. the bottle can be a persons best friend when you have nothing to lose and right now i imagine he feels that way. a few weeks just doesnt cure the addiction its a lifelong process, and hes your boy you need to be there to help him no matter what. 20 years down the road he may say "dad man i was going through a tuff time and you was always there to help". not picking up your phone is not a good idea he may be willing to try now that he sees whats happening to him and his loved ones. i wish you and him the best bud, i hope you dont see my post as you being the bad man i just see things through my point of view ive seen many friends and loved ones like him go into a downward spiral and when they hit the ground theres nobody there for them so they just pick the bottle up again or just say fuck it and end it all. my blessings are with you and him.

 

[jd4083]

For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. I was into stupid amounts of stupid drugs when I was younger and it was a similar wake-up call from a family member that eventually got me to snap out of it. I wish your son (and yourself) the best, it is tough but if and when your son wants help it will eventually get better.

 

[etinarcadiaego]

Tough place to be. My mother is an alcoholic. No power or force under the sun came make them see the light, I kid you not, nothing you say or do, no matter how profound, will bring about a change.

The change comes from inside them, and that's all about a matter of time. Sadly some never live long enough for the change to occur . . .

Best of luck man

 

[bs0]

Any possibility of getting him involved in something new? New hobby, change of scenery, treatment facility, anything? This is going to be one of the hardest things your son has ever had to defeat and he needs your love, not your abandonment. What if the positions were reversed?

 

[Haps]

Tough is OK, but you left out the love. A son is a gift, you have thrown yours away.

Part of any alcoholics problem is always his relationship with his father, this may not be your fault, but it will be real to him. He needs and craves your acceptance at some level whether he knows it or not. He can only find it in a bottle now.

I can not advise you, nor condem you, or him, just tell you these truths. Speaking as an alcoholic and father who died with a .55 seven years ago. I needed the love of my children to come back.
H

 

[jd4083]

Tough is OK, but you left out the love. A son is a gift, you have thrown yours away.

Part of any alcoholics problem is always his relationship with his father, this may not be your fault, but it will be real to him. He needs and craves your acceptance at some level whether he knows it or not. He can only find it in a bottle now.

I can not advise you, nor condem you, or him, just tell you these truths. Speaking as an alcoholic and father who died with a .55 seven years ago. I needed the love of my children to come back.
H

This is simply not true.

 

[Miss Blunted]

If you got to that point, you did the right thing. Alcoholics are the most selfish beings there are and they will kill you slowly. A lot of the time trying to help them just enables their disease even more.

Until he wants to change, he won't....I hope he can pull it together for you. I've had alcohol related deaths all over my family and it's unfair to everyone.

 

[AcroPhobic]

My best friend, 31 years old has been an alcoholic since he was 21. The people at rehab said he missed 1st and 2nd stages and went full blown into 3rd stage at an early age. He's been in and out of rehab, detox, hospitals countless times over the past 10 years and was an active member of AA. He'd be sober for awhile then he'd relapse and start the cycle all over again. It was a never ending cycle of being sober and relapsing. Well last year in March he relasped on alcohol agin after staying clean for almost a year. Tragically he relapsed and commited suicide in his apartment because HE KNEW he couldnt be saved and he thought he was a FAILURE TO HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Police found the living room covered in blood and he was in bathroom sitting on floor dead. He broke a vodka bottle and slashed his wrists and bled out. Alcohol is EVIL. It destroyed my friend and turned him into a monster.