When did you tell your kids what you do?

[SeaMaiden]

Respect you All for the honest attitude you espouse. Twelve is probly on the low side...but as SeaMaiden found out, you gotta play the hand you're dealt. My boy was aware from the git-go and because of that he was able to make his own, informed, decisions on his own as the times came. And he had no fear of condemnation by his parents, Love goes a long way.

I hid what I did as long as I could from my boys. They have had issues with drugs. I was extremely open and honest and taught them everything I felt they needed to know about sex and protection, and as a result they've never gotten anyone pregnant and have had, in my opinion, healthier relationships with women because of it. I should have been much more open. But I was AFRAID, very afraid, and I didn't want to put them in the position of having to lie for their mother (D.A.R.E. shit at school).

Now I have a granddaughter and she knows what my smoking flowers are, what they're for and who can use them. There are some smoking flowers she likes the smell of, some she loves the smell of, and others that stink. She knows that it's my medicine and that, just like sex, cigarettes and booze, it's for adults, not kids. I'm also teaching her about her body and sex (reproduction) the same way I did my own boys because it's clear to me that her parents don't seem to know *how*. Her father becomes very embarrassed when she asks questions. Well, I'm not afraid of my body, nor am I embarrassed by it so I treat all questions about the functions and differences of our bodies the same. I even printed out a "Book of Guts" for her, so that she could see the things she asks about. Like where do my kidney stones come from.

I mean, when a kid asks you WHY are there boys and girls, there really IS only one reason--to make babies. Which she ain't doin' until she's finished her education, got a job and a home and has gotten married. She knows the routine.

 

[Sat X RB]

Sorry off thread ... but I MUST say this SeaMaiden ...

Saw a young Australian Feminist on tele the other day ... and she was questioning gender roles and the pressure on young women to focus on beauty ... their own beauty ... when as it will turn out for them in the long run ... that their personal beauty has very little do to with anything at all! (excluding their beautiful souls which commerce is NOT at all interested in).

 

[DeepestCover]

I don't have kids and I doubt I'll ever stop growing, when the time comes and I'm blessed with my own family I'll tell them everything.

Here is a little something tha should be a mandatory read in schools and shit: A childrens storybook about MJ.

http://www.justaplant.com/story/index.html

Just realized it ends at page 15, but it has some more pages, when u come to page 15 just change the "15end.html" to "15.html.

 

[homebaked]

its very hard to conceal something in your house from the other people that live there. As a single father raising 3 kids (at the time I started to grow) when they became curious of what I was doing downstairs. I had no choice but sit and have the talk. I knew it was only a matter of very little time before they went searching.

The two oldest (boys) became very interested in the growing aspect. It was a long time after them knowing about it, that i ever smoked with them. They had to display to me that they were responsible enough. Of course this would have been different if they had needed the medicinal aspect of the plant for any reason.

OF course I had to lock my drying cab!!!! I started noticing disappearing buds around day 3 of drying. hmmmm

 

[BlueMonk]

My son is 7 and I generally only smoke after we put him in bed. Then I take a few hits and shower. Of course, he isn't always asleep and I go upstairs to check on him many nights.

A couple of months ago we smelled where a skunk had been run over. He said that it stunk and smelled like Daddy after a shower!

My day is coming when I have to come clean. Have always said that I will tell him the truth. But like Verdant points out it is a burden to have your kid keeping a secret for you. I don't look forward to the day.

 

[Piel]

I started smoking again, medically, about four or five years ago and I told my son´s two years ago. They were old enough to know and they are open about not using. I´d rather have them stay away from drugs but in the old days nothing could stop me so...

 

[_Ina_]

Hallo,everyone! that kind of threads are always very interesting to me because i have 5 years old kid to. She have seen my plants since her birth so she never asks what is thisI told her that i,m the greatest gardener everi will never lie her and i wont let the politics lie her first about cannabis(like those from that program D.A.R.E.you mentioned).The problem is I must educate her grandma firstWe are living in post communistic country(ex eastern block shit)and most of the older people think that weed is something very dangerous,some awful drug that can probably ruin your life or even kill uHere the brain washing about weed was extremely strong. in the same time many of them drink like hell and smoke tobacco and it is something normal. u can always hear old people say;"When we were young there was no narcotics like weed,we didn't go out all night,we were working!"Yeah,i bet it was just great in the communism

 

[Agaricus]

I have to take back the part in my post about the parents being reluctant to contradict the DARE nazis. They've set her down and told her the truth, but she still sides with the "authorities." It's scary how they can turn kids against their families. It brings to mind Germany in the thirties.

 

[187020]

My kids often refer to me as Cravenmore instead of dad, and I believe they've negative repped me here on IC !! They also know l lay with loosely moraled women and how I sometimes compensate them...aside from my vices, it's a storybook life of Jewish values and white picket fences!

Be all peace

 

[pearlemae]

My question is what the hell kind of sports camp is it where the older kids are sucking on a bong!! Was there no adult supervision? Why was there even a bong at a summer sports camp any way, it not the Olympics by any stretch. I personally would be pissed if my kid came home and said all the older kids were doing it. Sounds kind of fucked up. My children are all in their 30's and I have 12 grand kids and I would be pissed if my one of my grandsons came home and told me about the bong at sports camp. There are places to smoke and places not to, sports camp is the later. This is my opinion on the whole deal.

 

[187020]

Don't bitch while you're hittin it pearlemae...

 

[tamworthrope]

My kids were no problem. From the time the oldest asked about the "bendable cigarettes" we've had a pretty good dialogue. Now they're both tokers, and so is my oldest granddaughter. It was a rush having 3 generations passing a bowl.

However, there's a potentially bad situation brewing.

My friend's granddaughter (she's 12) has been brainwashed by the DARe demons and her "health" teacher so badly that when she caught grammy toking she broke down crying, sure that grammy was gonna die, and she wouldn't visit for months. Now when she does she follows grammy around trying to catch her.

The hell of it is, grammy's a cancer survivor with a good part of her stomach, esophagus and colon gone and uses weed for pain and to help her eat enough to keep her weight up.

She's even blathered to her uncle, a retired -or is it retarded - coast guard commander. We found out he's the nut who pulled up "buckwheat's" plants a couple years ago. Needless to say he feeds her fears. He also tells buckwheat's mother that she could have her house confiscated for a bag or a plant.

I caught hell when I told her that the teacher was lying. "When you smoke pot it goes to your brain and when it's in your brain it can kill you." Some family members think teachers shouldn't be contradicted. Respect for "authority" and all that bullshit.

Her parents are tokers -one of them abstaining now because her job piss tests - but for some reason they're reluctant to tell her the truth. I'm gathering information for them about telling your kids the truth about drugs, and some documents from the National Institutes of Health about cannabinoids being useful in treating and preventing cancer. I hope it gives them the incentive to undo what's being taught in school.

Thanks to the thread starter for this thread I needed it.

This is exactly why I never told my kids. No disrespect meant but in my eyes it shouldn't be the responsibility of your kids to keep your habit secret.
Lets be honest here smoking pot for 90% of us has to remain a secret even in med states because most employers have grounds to fire you for it. So again I'm not trying to disrespect anyone but I heard peeps say "you shouldn't lie to your kids" well I say they shouldn't have to lie for you. To put that kind of responsibility on a 12 or even 18 year old isn't right because it isn't their problem its yours. I wont buy someone telling me that they never told their kids not to tell anyone because you don't have to they know it has to be a secret.
My kid is 21 years old and i have to find the right time to tell him/her I just don't think its time yet because they still live at home and are in college. Do i think they have probably tried weed sure but that's not the point in my mind. The point is if I tell them and they live with me they have to keep it a secret or both of us could be out of a job and college these are the facts. Who Am I to ask someone to keep a secret they never asked to be part of.

I repeat I love this thread and will read everyone's input because this is a hard thing to deal with.

 

[simple green]

Personally, I don't think a 12 year old is too young for a parent to tell that they smoke weed. I think a parent that explains it well will gain a lot of credibility when it's time to talk about what not to do.

I would say, however, that I would never tell a 12 year old son or daughter that I grow (unless it's in one of those med-legal states and is accepted....then it's all good). If you're in one of the many states where growing is flat out illegal, I think that info is way too juicy for a kid to hold on to quietly as they go through the next 10 crazy years of their life. I don't think a 12 year old can fully grasp the consequences to sharing such a secret, nor can a drunk 17 year old out with his friends who want to score some weed. Too much temptation for a kid to talk...

Mid to late 20's, a good 'kid' can start to see the big picture, and it's also around that age where the parent-child relationship changes and becomes more of an equal/mutual respect thing....

 

[VerdantGreen]

i agree, if it was just me smoking then id be much more likely to be completely honest about it, but if growing is illegal then thats different. i wouldnt want my child to carry the guilt of having dropped me in it.

 

[cali2]

Thanks for all the replies! I live in the bay area, very liberal place when it comes to weed. I'm not ashamed of growing or smoking, when the plant got on his radar I felt like I had to tell him about before some douche kid or anti adult got to him. He's a smart kid and I'm glad I talked to him about it. I wasn't to pleased about the lack of supervision at the camp, it was a well known college soccer camp. The group he placed in was with the elite older kids who where chosen for some national team or some shit so whatever. I'm really glad there was no booze I would have had to take some action on that.

 

[dansbuds]

Kids at 12 no alot more than you think they do . & they have they're own opinion about MMJ by then with or without ever talking to you . your job is to educate them about the real MMJ culture . how & when you want to do this has way to many variables to say its a good time . each situation is different . all i can say is use your judgement & make sure they know every side of the culture ... good & bad .

My kids grew up knowing all about MJ .... it was in their lives sense birth . they knew the smells knew the effects in had on the people around them & as they got older & started hearing from different authorities about the dangers & consequences of having it or smoking it .... they had enough common sense to question what they were hearing & came to us & asked questions .... which we answered as best as we could .

good luck man ...your going to need it

 

[ButterFace]

thanks

thanks

great thread here - thanks op

I think this thread will bring about many opinions and help others make their decisions of when is the right time to educate their kids on this fascinating plant.

I look forward to coming back to this thread and hearing everyone's thoughts.

cheers and thanks again!

 

[Iron_Lion]

It's a sticky situation. I knew kids in high school and middle school that had parents that grew, they told a few friends and then they would tell other people. The parents never got busted or robbed, I guess that's a good thing.

If your kids like you I think there is a better chance they will keep it a secret.

I always knew my dad smoked ever since I was little, I knew because of the funny smell he'd have when he came up from the basement.

I never knew what to make of it. Growing up in the 80's they really demonized MJ, our culture is a lot more accepting now and at least the people I know it is much more common to be a weed smoker then an alcoholic.

When I was growing up, I made up my own mind to accept it as a good thing because my dad smoked herb and we had a good life, I could not say the same for kids I knew with an alcoholic parent(s).

I grew up around drunks and learned very early that it was a shitty way to go thru life. It's a shame some fragments of society still look down on it.

 

[StressQueen]

My now 24yr old was brought up with the 'no cannabis until you're finished with High School' moto, and if you try meth, I'll kill you.
I've always ben honest about my use and feelings about recreational drugs in general. I can't remember how old she was when she started asking about 'drugs', but early teens for sure.
Right after she graduated HS, I bought an oz rolled a few and smoked with her. She prefers canna (thank goodness) over alcohol these days has never tried meth, I'm a happy mum.

 

[vonforne]

My son is twelve, he went to a sports camp and was around older kids smoking a bong. He told me about it and I broke it all down to him. I showed him what it looked like and the whole deal.Too soon?

Better you to gain his trust and that he knows the truth before the school and that DARE program brainwashes him and he calls the cops on you.

I started smoking @ 12.....in 1975. I wish my old man had broke it down for me.