Weird - Wacky - Funny News

[Robrites]

Driver accused of crashing into marijuana dispensary while high on marijuana

Driver accused of crashing into marijuana dispensary while high on marijuana

An 18-year-old man was arrested early Sunday on suspicion of driving while high on marijuana after he crashed into a marijuana dispensary in Happy Valley.

Alan Alcantara hit an empty parked car near Stumptown Cannabis on Southeast 82nd Avenue around 1:05 a.m. and then crashed into the back wall of the business, according to a probable cause affidavit. He caused more than $1,000 in damages to the other car and the building, court papers said.

Alcantara's passenger was taken to a hospital with a concussion, and Alcantara admitted to a Clackamas County sheriff's deputy to using marijuana before the crash, the affidavit said. He was booked into the Clackamas County Jail on suspicion of driving under the influence of intoxicants, reckless driving, reckless endangering, criminal mischief and fourth-degree assault.

A worker at Stumptown Cannabis said Tuesday that the business was closed at the time of the crash and that boards have been put up on the wall that was hit.

-- Everton Bailey Jr.
oregonlive.com

 

[Green Squall]

Man beats friend for refusing to eat ramen noodles, police say

Man beats friend for refusing to eat ramen noodles, police say

MOHTON, Pa. – Police say a central Pennsylvania man beat his friend for refusing to eat some ramen noodles.


Brecknock Township police say 23-year-old Brian Douglas Hunter had cooked the noodles about 11:30 p.m. Thursday and became angry when his 20-year-old friend refused to eat them.


Police say Hunter punched the other man in the right eye 10 to 15 times. Police say the victim had bruises, swelling and a 1-inch cut under his eye.


Online court records don't list an attorney or arraignment information for Hunter. Police say he's being charged with simple assault and harassment.

 

[shithawk420]

haha that's hilarious GS! eating the ramen would be worse then the beating lol

 

[Robrites]

 

[HOPS5K]

Steamboat Springs, Colorado - 11:41 p.m. Officers were called to a report of a kid in a camouflage hoodie who appeared to be stealing a Swisher Sweet from a gas station in the first block of Anglers Drive. Police did not find any evidence that the kid stole a Swisher Sweet.

 

[kaochiu]

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-36711288

An enraged Australian man called police after his father burned his prized cannabis plants in a bonfire, reports say.

The father, who lives in the Northern Territory town of Humpty Doo, reportedly set the plants ablaze after repeated disputes with his son.

Police said the son called them as he believed burning the plants was a worse crime than drug possession.

Police said neither man would face any charges.

"Things came to a head yesterday evening and the father allegedly threw all of his son's cannabis plants onto the bonfire and completely destroyed them," Duty Superintendent Jorgensen told the Australian Broadcasting Corp.

"This enraged the son, he called us and told us everything basically."

 

[Robrites]

Pa. man accused of illegally owning human brain, using embalming fluid to get high

Pa. man accused of illegally owning human brain, using embalming fluid to get high

CARLISLE, Pa. — A central Pennsylvania man was charged Thursday after police say he sprayed fluid used to embalm a human brain on marijuana that he then smoked.

State police in Carlisle charged Joshua Lee Long, 26, with abuse of a corpse and conspiracy.

Court records indicate Long's aunt contacted detectives on June 21 after finding a human brain in a department store bag under a porch while cleaning out a trailer.

Long allegedly told her during a phone conversation from the Cumberland County jail that he used the formaldehyde-soaked pot to get high.

"The defendant related that he knew it was illegal to have the brain and that he and (another man) would spray the embalming fluid on 'weed' to get high," wrote Trooper John Boardman, the investigator.

Court records indicate a coroner concluded the brain was real and that Long supposedly named it Freddy.

The coroners who examined the brain believe it was most likely a stolen teaching specimen, according to the arrest affidavit.

Long remains in jail, and court records did not list a lawyer for him.

 

[Robrites]

Bend police corporal cited in Oregon doughnut shop crash

Bend police corporal cited in Oregon doughnut shop crash

BEND, Ore. — Court records show a police corporal in central Oregon was cited after crashing his patrol car into a doughnut shop.

The Bulletin reports that records show Bend Cpl. Robert Emerson was fined $260 for the March incident.

Oregon State Police say Emerson collided with a pickup truck, slid across an intersection, hit a pedestrian and smashed into the Dough Nut. According to Bulletin archives, no shop employees or customers were injured.

Emerson and pedestrian Brian Zacher of Tualatin were taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

Bend Police Chief Jim Porter says the corporal likely had his emergency lights and siren activated and was responding to a report of someone fleeing in a stolen vehicle. Porter says the department is still deciding whether or not to discipline Emerson.

-- The Associated Press

http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/index.ssf/2016/08/bend_police_corporal_cited_in.html

 

[Green Squall]

Creepy clown sightings expand to second South Carolina city

Creepy clown sightings expand to second South Carolina city

Police say they are doing extra patrols in a Winston-Salem neighborhood after two children reported seeing a clown trying to lure kids into the woods with treats.

Police said in a news release that officers were called to the area around 8:30 p.m. Sunday.

The suspect allegedly tried to lure the kids with treats. The suspect was reportedly seen by two children and heard, but not seen, by one adult. The suspect fled the area when officers arrived.

The "clown" was described as wearing white overalls, white gloves, red shoes with red bushy hair, a white face and a red nose.

About four hours later, a caller who refused to give a name reported another sighting about 2 miles away. Police say again they found no evidence of a clown.

Several unverified clown sightings in northern South Carolina have been in the news recently.

In the Greenville area, multiple law enforcement agencies are investigating a rash of incidents involving clown sightings at apartment complexes and other areas of Greenville and Spartanburg counties according to FoxCarolina.com.

Deputies in Greenville County said the clowns were initially seen in wooded areas, where they allegedly tried to entice children to join them, but sightings have now increased with reports that clowns were also knocking on the doors of homes.

Investigators said no conclusive photo or video evidence has surfaced.

New of the sighting became public after Fox Carolina received a letter that was sent out to residents at the Fleetwood Manor Apartments on August 24th.


http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/09/0...ngs-expand-to-second-south-carolina-city.html

 

[Green Squall]

'Killer clown' sightings spread to Florida, Virginia, Colorado

'Killer clown' sightings spread to Florida, Virginia, Colorado

Reports of “killer clowns” have emerged in three new states, as Virginia, Florida and Colorado struggle with Internet rumors and reported sightings that have left several towns shaken.

Residents and authorities in Palm Bay, Fla., have been on high alert since a resident reported seeing two “creepy clowns” staring at her from across a road as she walked her dog. And in Marion County, Fla., deputies are concerned after it emerged that a Facebook viral video, depicting a clown standing silently on the side of the road in the dark, had been filmed along a main thoroughfare in the area.

The video has more than a million views on Facebook.

In Henrico County, Va., a mother and daughter captured a “creepy clown” leering at them from another car during rush hour.
The clown matches the description of another creepy carnival act, reported to be hanging out near the edge of a forest in nearby Augusta County, Va. Authorities there responded to a 911 call from a father fishing with his two children just after 9 p.m. on Saturday.

According to the police report, the father “was approached by two separate vehicles leaving the area at a high rate of speed. Both vehicles stopped to warn him that several people in the adjacent woodland area were dressed up as clowns. According to the caller, the people leaving the area were pretty upset over the clown sightings.”

Authorities were not able to locate the clowns.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/09/28/killer-clown-sightings-spread-to-florida-virginia-colorado.html

 

[Robrites]

Washington man busted using cardboard cutout of Donald Trump in carpool lane

Washington man busted using cardboard cutout of Donald Trump in carpool lane

A driver in Washington was ticketed Tuesday morning after a state trooper spotted him riding in the carpool lane with presidential hopeful Donald Trump.

It wasn't actually Trump, of course, but a cardboard cutout of the business mogul the driver was attempting to pass off as his second passenger along State Route 167 near Auburn, Washington State Patrol spokesman Rick Johnson said via Twitter.

The driver appeared to have good humor about the incident and the ensuing $136 fine, though. The trooper who pulled him over told him the yelling likeness of Trump was "awesome," according to the Seattle PI, and the driver responded, saying "I thought you'd like that."

 

[Robrites]

Seattle man asks police to help find briefcase full of cocaine

Seattle man asks police to help find briefcase full of cocaine

SEATTLE, Sept. 28 (UPI) -- A man in Seattle, Wash., was arrested after attempting to claim a misplaced briefcase filled with cocaine.

According to the Seattle police department blotter, a man brought the briefcase to officer Doug Jorgenson saying another man left the briefcase behind after walking his dog.

Jorgenson opened the briefcase in hopes of identifying the owner and found four large bags and 27 smaller ones filled with cocaine.

In addition, the briefcase contained a scale, 50 diazepam pills, and a small amount of marijuana as well as a 19-year-old man's ID card and cellphone.

The 19-year-old later approached officers outside of a Seattle Seahawks game inquiring about the missing briefcase.

"It contained some important work paperwork and he really needed it back," he said, according to officers.

Police said the man was later arrested for possession of narcotics with intent to distribute.

 

[Betterhaff]

Massachusetts cops raided an 81-year-old’s home to cut down a single medical marijuan

Massachusetts cops raided an 81-year-old’s home to cut down a single medical marijuan

Massachusetts cops raided an 81-year-old’s home to cut down a single medical marijuana plant

Police hit the home by helicopter — to take a plant used for an elderly woman’s arthritis.

If you were trying to come up with a headline that perfectly demonstrated why so many people have turned against keeping marijuana illegal, you probably couldn’t do better than this real headline from the Daily Hampshire Gazette in Massachusetts: “Raid! National Guard, State Police descend on 81-year-old’s property to seize single pot plant.”

The story is just as absurd as it sounds. On September 21, the Massachusetts National Guard and State Police descended on 81-year-old Margaret Holcomb's home in Amherst using a military-style helicopter to chop down a single marijuana plant that they claim was in “plain view.” The raid was part of a broader operation in which police seized 44 plants in Massachusetts homes, with none of the property owners charged with anything — just their plants taken and destroyed.

Holcomb said she was growing the plant for medical purposes — to ease her arthritis and glaucoma and help her sleep at night. She does not, however, have a medical marijuana card authorizing her to grow pot, because she reportedly worries about the hurdles involved in getting a doctor to sign off on it.

Given those facts, it’s safe to say the raid did absolutely nothing for public safety. Stopping an elderly woman from taking a relatively harmless drug for medical purposes does no one any good whatsoever. As Holcomb put it, the raid won’t even stop her from getting marijuana; she said she’ll likely just grow another plant.

Yet police wasted time and money deploying a helicopter — likely paid for in part through federal funds, according to the Daily Hampshire Gazette — to seize not just Holcomb’s sole marijuana plant but dozens of others across the state on that one day. They argue the actions were necessary because the plants were in plain view and therefore illegal, even though Holcomb’s pot plant was hidden away in her fenced-off backyard behind a raspberry patch. (It was likely detected with a thermal imager.)

There’s a good chance that after November, this wouldn’t be something police would do — Massachusetts is among five states that will vote on whether to fully legalize marijuana later this year.

The raid exemplifies why these votes are happening. According to, a 2015 Pew Research Center survey, 53 percent of Americans support legalization, citing its medicinal benefits, its relatively low risk compared with other drugs, the benefits of regulation and tax revenue, and the current financial costs of prohibition. The raid touched on all of these issues, from seizing a relatively harmless drug used as medicine to deploying an expensive helicopter to raid an 81-year-old woman’s home.
---------

What’s the hourly cost to operate a helicopter? Those guys must have been real proud of themselves for such a big haul.

 

[Robrites]

Fake News Site Sparks Concern Over ‘Deadly Marijuana’ Recall Claim

Fake News Site Sparks Concern Over ‘Deadly Marijuana’ Recall Claim

What are they smoking?

A fake news report about a marijuana recall is creating some buzz online after claiming that four people died and 49 others were hospitalized in Colorado on account of bad weed.

There are a few obvious problems with the story, published by the Boston Tribune on Tuesday. First, the Tribune (motto: “News You Can Trust”) is a fake news site ― Snopes.com lists it among a number of “sites that appear to be legitimate local news bearing shocking (but fake) stories.”

Colorado’s Marijuana Enforcement Division made this very point, noting that the Tribune is known for “satirical” news. A spokesman for the agency also told The Huffington Post that any public health and safety advisories can be found on its website. The agency doesn’t know of any such recall or illnesses, he said.

Still, that hasn’t stopped readers from thinking the rumor is true. As of Wednesday afternoon, the Tribune’s article had been shared on Facebook thousands of times, with many commenters expressing outrage over its claims that synthetic marijuana was slipped into a Denver business’ products.

The article ― which appears more fear-mongering than funny ― claims that a Denver-based manufacturer and distributor identified as “Rite Greens L.L.C.” rolled back its products in response to the recall.

 

[Weezard]

"claims that a Denver-based manufacturer and distributor identified as “Rite Greens L.L.C.” rolled back its products in response to the recall. "

I just checked their website.
True, or not, Ritegreens is doing a recall just in case.

 

[Green Squall]

Man interrupts bear sex, pays the price

Man interrupts bear sex, pays the price

Funny story but it pisses me off that they plan on murdering the bear if found. Humans suck!


You don't want to find yourself between a bear and its mate when it's "business time."

Dan Richman must have missed the "do not disturb" sign.

Officials believe the 54-year-old hiker interrupted a pair of bears that were trying to mate when he was attacked Monday in the Sierra Madre foothills of California, the Los Angeles Times reports.

According to KABC, Richman was going along a trail when he saw a bear on its hind legs 50 to 100 feet away. It was his first time seeing a bear in person.

"I was pretty freaked out," he tells KTLA. Richman turned around to leave and saw a second bear much closer. His attempt to scare it off by yelling failed, and it attacked when he tried to run by it.

Richman played dead, letting the bear put its jaws around his neck, until it gave up. Richman ran off, not realizing how injured he was until he reached safety.

He had a head injury and multiple cuts to his head, legs, feet, and torso. He says he's "fortunate" to have survived, and a local police chief describes it as a "pretty good bear attack."

A spokesperson tells the Times a state game warden believes the bears "may have been a mating pair that was interrupted." “The hiker probably just surprised the bears and they reacted the way an animal with teeth and claws does, attack,” the spokesperson says.

Officials plan to euthanize the bear if it's caught. And Richman says he plans to bring a buddy next time he hits the trail.

 

[Robrites]

Troopers: Man on LSD saves dog from imaginary fire

Troopers: Man on LSD saves dog from imaginary fire

HALFMOON -- A Halfmoon man allegedly broke into his neighbor's house to save the family dog from a fire, Thursday night. But there was no fire, troopers say he was on LSD and hallucinating.

Troopers say 43-year-old Michael Orchard of Inglewood Drive told them he mixed LSD with cough medicine, Thursday afternoon. And they found him, standing heroically with a dog in his arms outside of what he thought was a giant inferno.

"He believed that the residence was on fire. And he was rescuing the dog," said Trooper Mark Cepiel, Troop G Spokesperson.

Neighbors tell us Orchard went around the neighborhood banging on doors yelling about a fire. Since no one would help, because there was no fire. The animal lover took matters into his own hands to save the dog. Allegedly driving his black BMW sedan through the fence. Troopers say once Orchard got through this fence with his vehicle, he got out, went up to the back door, smashed through it, and went inside to save the family's large white dog.

Orchard was charged with second degree burglary and third degree criminal mischief and put in county jail on $15,000 bail.

Neighbors didn't want to go on camera because they're scared of retribution in the tightly packed development. Several neighbors listed things Orchard has allegedly destroyed in the past.

We asked Trooper Cepiel why there were no drug charges if Orchard was allegedly high.

"He drove over yards and through the fence. At no point was he on the roadway. And no illegal substances were found in his possession," said Cepiel.

Troopers say Orchard was very cooperative. The developers say they've already ordered the victims a new door. The dog was unharmed.

 

[Robrites]

Forest Grove police log: No one attacked by clowns

Forest Grove police log: No one attacked by clowns

Oct. 9

• Police responded to a domestic disturbance after a man learned his wife was having a relationship with his boss.

• At a separate domestic disturbance, a husband and wife accused each other of being mentally ill.

• Police searched a neighborhood after a young boy thought he saw a clown standing outside his window. Police found no clown in the area.

Oct. 10

• A resident reported five men dressed in black wearing masks entered her bedroom from between the air conditioner and a plastic screen. The men reportedly looked around the room, moved her dresser and then disappeared into the closet. The caller denied drug use except some cold medicine and marijuana.

• A caller complained of several "dirty looking people" in the area of a shopping center. The caller admitted they were not doing anything wrong. They were just hanging out and missing teeth.

• A man called to report issues with his landlord and could not get into his apartment. It turned out the man had locked himself out and had not even tried calling his landlord yet. He was advised to do so or call a locksmith.

Oct. 11

• The woman from the day before called again to report multiple burglars in different corners of her apartment. She again admitted to taking multiple medications and her husband later shared with police that she had recently smoked a "funny tasting" cigarette. A family member will be staying to monitor the situation.

• Multiple officers and a K9 unit from Beaverton searched the area after two boys reported a masked man broke a window and attempted to enter their residence. After discrepancies began to surface, the boys finally confessed they had made up the story. Both are facing repercussions.

• Police checked on a report of three children being abused by their parents. Officers learned that although divorcing after the father caught their mother cheating, no abuse or domestic violence was occurring.

Oct. 12

• Police arrested a man following the theft of Hostess and Rice Krispies treats from a local convenience store.

• Police responded to a domestic disturbance between two people going through a break-up. The man complained he had tools missing and the woman complained she had clothes missing.

• A local assisted living center called for one of their elderly residents. The resident reported that her grandson came to visit her and that she was afraid of him and did not want him to return. The center will call police if he returns.

Oct. 13

• A man called police after getting locked inside a laundromat. He hung up on the officer who explained to him how he could get out.

• A 15-year-old damaged a residence and hit his parents after getting upset over having his cell phone taken away. He was arrested and taken to the juvenile detention center.

• A bartender at a local establishment asked for assistance in removing three men who were "acting crazy."

Oct. 14

• Police responded to a fight between two men in a parking lot. One was bleeding from the nose when police arrived. Officers determined the fight was between two best friends concerning who made the most money. Neither wanted to press charges against the other.

• Police responded to a call of possible shots fired. Officers determined the shots were illegal explosive fireworks being lit to celebrate a man's acceptance into the Peace Corps.

• A man showed up at the hospital with serious injuries claiming he had been attacked by a clown. Police determined this story to be false. The case is still under investigation.

Oct. 15

• Police assisted on several downed trees and cleared clogged storm drains.

• A man arrived at the hospital with a gunshot wound to his hand. The man said his gun accidentally went off while he was handling it. The case is under investigation.

• While responding to an under-age drinking party, an officer located a separate and unrelated under-age party. After getting consent to enter the residence, police found a minor sitting on the toilet and unresponsive from intoxication. The minor was transported to the hospital by ambulance.

 

[Robrites]

Accused Bank Robber Duped Dad Into Giving Her A Ride To ‘Job Interview’: Police

Accused Bank Robber Duped Dad Into Giving Her A Ride To ‘Job Interview’: Police

A Florida woman accused of robbing a bank may have gotten her father involved in a crime without him knowing.

Chelsea Wilson was arrested Friday morning after she allegedly robbed a TD Bank in Fort Lauderdale on Thursday afternoon.

Police said Wilson’s father told them he drove her to the bank because she told him she was going to a job interview, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel.

Sometime between leaving the car and going to the “job interview,” the 24-year-old suspect covered her blonde locks with a red wig and hat and put on sunglasses, according to a complaint obtained by Local10.com.

Wilson allegedly entered the bank shortly before 4 p.m. and handed the teller a handwritten note demanding money:

“You have exactly one minute to give me all your $50 & $100 bills from both your drawers or I will shoot you! No dye packs, no alarms follow these instructions and no one will get hurt, act normal.”

Wilson made off with $300 and exited the bank parking lot in an SUV that FBI agents later determined was registered to her father. Wilson’s father said he thought the cash his daughter had was an advance, according to authorities.

A witness reported Wilson after recognizing her as someone wanted in connection with four other recent robberies, according to the Palm Beach Post.

Wilson admitted to committing all five robberies and said she spent the money collected from the most recent heist on groceries, according to Local10.com.

Jail records show that Wilson is behind bars in the Broward County Jail.

 

[Robrites]

Typo has Russian charity urging public to 'exterminate beavers.' Whoops

Typo has Russian charity urging public to 'exterminate beavers.' Whoops

A Russian charity ordered some holiday leaflets urging people to "Do good" and donate. We can totally get behind that. But an exceedingly unfortunate typographical error changed the message to "Exterminate beavers!" and we're sort of appalled by that, partly because we like animals, and partly because we too have been burned by the typo gods, though perhaps not quite so dramatically. So now the charity is -- understandably -- all up in arms, and the printers are allegedly claiming that it's all a lot of fuss over nothing because "no one will notice" the mistake. (Take it from us, printers: You mess up in print, people notice. Oh, boy, do they notice. We have the emails and voice mails to prove it.)

Elsewhere in Russia, people are freaking out over an invasion of spiders, and not simply because they're spiders. Oh, no, that would be too easy. Rather, they're convinced that this particular incident proves that, as the story says, "a poisonous monster from outer space was beginning its conquest of Earth." They reached this conclusion because, the story says, "[t]he spooky arachnid has face-like markings on its day-glow abdomen that bear a striking resemblance to little green aliens from planet Mars." So a spider expert weighs in and confirms that the critters are in fact common in the area and don't pose any risk to humans. And remarkably, the story never addresses that "little green aliens from planet Mars" claim again, because why bother pointing out that we have no evidence of little green aliens from Mars or anywhere else? Honestly, sometimes we think our species would be better off being conquered by spiders from Mars.

Backing up our Bring-on-the-Martian-spider-overlords sentiments is the story about one neighbor attacking another with a weed eater, leaving the victim with 74 cuts on his legs and quite possibly lasting psychological damage. ""Now every time I hear a weed eater, I start to cringe," the victim says. The good news: Should the Martians send spiders to kill us all, one Florida man (you just knew this was a Florida man) is armed with a weed eater and ready to do battle.

Because we pretty much want to run screaming from all humanity at this point, here's a video of a baby bunny. And some baby beavers, desperately hoping Russians don't respond to the mistaken plea to kill them. And some golden retriever puppies being adorable and sweetly oblivious of the coming Martian spider apocalypse.
http://www.oregonlive.com/weird-news/2016/10/offbeat_typo_has_russian_chari.html