Stoned_Ranger
Member
Hah! Great stuff! We could all use a good laugh with times being the way they are.Keep 'em coming!
SR
SR
I grow weed.."Recession" what??
But yeah....this one made me laugh!!
But yeah....this one made me laugh!!
designer you're a funny fucker,
but looks ain't everything.......
Love it!
G
greenmatter
a 1/4 oz. at McDonalds ? would we blame obama for that?
starwatcher
Member
Here is a sick tastless joke for ya.
Three faggots sitting in a hot tub.
All of a sudden a clump of semen plops to the surface.
One faggot looks to the other and says "who farted"
Three faggots sitting in a hot tub.
All of a sudden a clump of semen plops to the surface.
One faggot looks to the other and says "who farted"
taxes
taxes
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
'Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
It's time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Airline surcharge tax
Airline Fuel Tax
Airport Maintenance Tax
Building Permit Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Death Tax
Dog License Tax
Driving Permit Tax
Environmental Tax (Fee)
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment (UI)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Gasoline Tax (too much per litre)
Gross Receipts Tax
Health Tax
Hunting License Tax
HydroTax
Inheritance Tax
Interest Tax
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Mortgage Tax
Personal Income Tax
Property Tax
Poverty Tax
Prescription Drug Tax
Provincial Income and Sales tax
Real Estate Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Retail Sales Tax
Service Charge Tax
School Tax
Telephone Federal Tax
Telephone Federal, Provincial and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Water Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
--- and in 2010 the HST
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 60 years ago, & our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had a large middle class, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What in "Hell" happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'
taxes
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
'Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
It's time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Airline surcharge tax
Airline Fuel Tax
Airport Maintenance Tax
Building Permit Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Death Tax
Dog License Tax
Driving Permit Tax
Environmental Tax (Fee)
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment (UI)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Gasoline Tax (too much per litre)
Gross Receipts Tax
Health Tax
Hunting License Tax
HydroTax
Inheritance Tax
Interest Tax
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Mortgage Tax
Personal Income Tax
Property Tax
Poverty Tax
Prescription Drug Tax
Provincial Income and Sales tax
Real Estate Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Retail Sales Tax
Service Charge Tax
School Tax
Telephone Federal Tax
Telephone Federal, Provincial and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Water Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
--- and in 2010 the HST
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 60 years ago, & our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had a large middle class, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What in "Hell" happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic.....
And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass, and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.
The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary, prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:
"You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."
And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass, and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.
The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary, prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:
"You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."
G
greenmatter
Q.what do you call a 4 foot tall mexican?
A.a paragraph .....
WHY??????
cause he is to short to be an essay .........
A.a paragraph .....
WHY??????
cause he is to short to be an essay .........
Pecans in the Cemetery
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me...'
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!'
The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'
The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...?
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me...'
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!'
The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'
The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...?
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat,
and one says to the other, "I hear that the people
In this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live
In America , we might as well do as the Americans do."
As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling,
"Hot Dogs, get your dogs here," and they both walk
towards the hot dog cart.
"Two dogs, please!," says one. The vendor is very pleased to
oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over.
Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'
The mother superior is first to open hers.
She begins to blush, and then staring at it for a moment, leans
to the other Nun and in a soft brogue whispers......
"What part did you get?"
and one says to the other, "I hear that the people
In this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live
In America , we might as well do as the Americans do."
As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling,
"Hot Dogs, get your dogs here," and they both walk
towards the hot dog cart.
"Two dogs, please!," says one. The vendor is very pleased to
oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over.
Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'
The mother superior is first to open hers.
She begins to blush, and then staring at it for a moment, leans
to the other Nun and in a soft brogue whispers......
"What part did you get?"
SacredTHCRitual
Member
short cartoon also a joke
SacredTHCRitual
Member
G
greenmatter
a guy from L.A. is on vacation in australia. as he is walking along the beach one day he finds a magic lamp.
the genie tells him he can have one wish, whatever he desires
the guy says he wants a bridge from california to australia so he can just get in the car when he wants and drive across the ocean.
the genie shakes his head and says " do you understand what you are asking of me? a bridge thousands of miles long over water miles deep covering an ocean floor that is unstable. that is impossible! ask me for something else."
the guy thinks for a minute and says "o.k. i want to understand what makes woman tick, how do they think, what it is that makes them do the things they do"
the genie crosses his arms, shakes his head and says "two lanes or four?"
/////////////////////////////////////////////
and if the genders were reversed you ladies would be laughing your asses off ...... so please remember IT IS JUST A JOKE!!!
the genie tells him he can have one wish, whatever he desires
the guy says he wants a bridge from california to australia so he can just get in the car when he wants and drive across the ocean.
the genie shakes his head and says " do you understand what you are asking of me? a bridge thousands of miles long over water miles deep covering an ocean floor that is unstable. that is impossible! ask me for something else."
the guy thinks for a minute and says "o.k. i want to understand what makes woman tick, how do they think, what it is that makes them do the things they do"
the genie crosses his arms, shakes his head and says "two lanes or four?"
/////////////////////////////////////////////
and if the genders were reversed you ladies would be laughing your asses off ...... so please remember IT IS JUST A JOKE!!!
What is the difference between a PUSSY and a CAT?
......A pussy looks much better than a cat when shaved.....
......A pussy looks much better than a cat when shaved.....
G
greenmatter
DARK AND TWISTED >>>>>> IF YOU CAN"T HANDLE THAT STOP READIN' NOW
Q. what is good on pie but not on pussy?
A. crust......
Q. what is good on pie but not on pussy?
A. crust......
G
greenmatter
Q. what do spinach and anal sex have in common?
A. if you force it on someone when they are young they usually don't care for it when they grow older.
A. if you force it on someone when they are young they usually don't care for it when they grow older.
