nukklehead
Active member
T
tropicannayeah
"Sex on the beach" is not just a drink...some people actually do it on the beach.
though most never do it again or they take a lot more care the next time as there's something about it that rubs against the grain but you just have to grit your teeth and be careful of crabs.
though most never do it again or they take a lot more care the next time as there's something about it that rubs against the grain but you just have to grit your teeth and be careful of crabs.
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
This is alarming!
Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!
Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally, and
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary!
Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer!
Cheers.
Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!
Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally, and
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary!
Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer!
Cheers.
An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please." So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.
The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.
The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.
Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more. The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."
The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.
The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.
Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more. The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."
nukklehead
Active member
ok ok.. lets rag on the irish.. (cus i am one)...lol
irishmen gets into a cab and says " hey cabby, you got room for a twelve pack and pizza in that front seat..??" .. cabby says of course.. irishmen says good.... barrrrffff/puke...)..... (on the front seat if you get it)...
I feel warmer as hell is coming...
irishmen gets into a cab and says " hey cabby, you got room for a twelve pack and pizza in that front seat..??" .. cabby says of course.. irishmen says good.... barrrrffff/puke...)..... (on the front seat if you get it)...
I feel warmer as hell is coming...
ok ok.. lets rag on the irish.. (cus i am one)...lol
irishmen gets into a cab and says " hey cabby, you got room for a twelve pack and pizza in that front seat..??" .. cabby says of course.. irishmen says good.... barrrrffff/puke...)..... (on the front seat if you get it)...
I feel warmer as hell is coming...
my computer says "no, you may NOT give nukklehead any rep, you have used all yer shit up until tomorrow" good one, bro!
Let's try another.... As I'm English....
2 Englishmen ,2 Irishmen and 2 Scotsmen crashed on a deserted island. After a year , a boat turns up to rescue them.
The Irishmen have built themselves a house, nice and comfortable, and started brewing their own beer.
The Scotsmen have built a big log cabin, and fashioned a still to make their own whiskey.
The englishmen are both sitting on a rock, looking in opposite directions.
The rescuers say to one of them "why you two not built a house yet?"
The englishman replies " well, we've not been introduced yet"
2 Englishmen ,2 Irishmen and 2 Scotsmen crashed on a deserted island. After a year , a boat turns up to rescue them.
The Irishmen have built themselves a house, nice and comfortable, and started brewing their own beer.
The Scotsmen have built a big log cabin, and fashioned a still to make their own whiskey.
The englishmen are both sitting on a rock, looking in opposite directions.
The rescuers say to one of them "why you two not built a house yet?"
The englishman replies " well, we've not been introduced yet"
Tipz
Active member
A apartment building 1st floor black, 2nd floor Latino, 3rd floor Jewish, burns down. Only black folk die, Al sharpton screams conspiracy. He confronts the fire chief on TV, with his conspiracy theory. The fire chief says.... There's a perfectly good reason why the only fatalities were black....... It happened during working hours!
T
tropicannayeah
..an Irishman walks into a bar.............then slurringly but surprised said "Fookme, dat hurt, I could of sworn the door was there..and wouldn't you know, it's just there beside the door that wasn't there..."
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An older couple walk into a local Wendy’s fast food restaurant. They seem to be in their early 80s. When they approached the counter they order one hamburger, one order of fries and one soft drink.
Once they get their food they sit down at a table. Then the old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip and then sets the cup down between them.
As he begins to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them keep staring over and whispering “That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.”
As the husband begins to eat his fries a young man comes to the table trying to be nice, offers politely to buy more food for the old couple. The old man replies ” thank you, but we are just fine we are just used to sharing everything.”
The surrounding people noticed the little old lady had not eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the soda.
Again the same young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another meal for them.
This time the old woman says “No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.”
As the old man finishes and was wipes his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks “May I ask what is it you are waiting for?”
The old woman answers with a smile… “THE TEETH”
An ISIS rebel goes to the field doctor and says "I feel terrible."
The doctor examines him and then says:
"You need to pee and put your bowel movements in a bucket for a week, then
throw in a dead fish and some rotten cabbage. Put a towel over your head and
inhale the vapors for three days."
The rebel does this and reports back to the doctor 10 days later and says
"I feel wonderful! what was wrong with me?"
The doctor replied, "You were homesick."
The doctor examines him and then says:
"You need to pee and put your bowel movements in a bucket for a week, then
throw in a dead fish and some rotten cabbage. Put a towel over your head and
inhale the vapors for three days."
The rebel does this and reports back to the doctor 10 days later and says
"I feel wonderful! what was wrong with me?"
The doctor replied, "You were homesick."
Newest ISIS video is KINDA interesting.....
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f08_1424123423#B3pCFKCkpMzQ4DkI.01
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f08_1424123423#B3pCFKCkpMzQ4DkI.01
