Social Anxiety=Really F'in Sick of Humans??

[EatCannabisRaw]

I've dealt with social anxiety my fair share in my 26 years...

When I was a young boy, if strangers would come over to the house I would pretty much run into my room so I wouldn't have to talk to them.

I think I was called "shy" at times..

In college it was getting pretty bad at different times... I even went on Paxil at one point, which helped.

I pretty much bought the whole "social anxiety" party-line, that the makers of Paxil love to advertise. How its a disorder, that needs treatment.

Well, I guess I'm now thinking differently.

I think for people like me, we just don't like being around lots of random-ass strangers. I mean, social anxiety accepts as a premise thats its perfectly NATURAL to be surrounded constantly by complete strangers, in a huge city... always surrounded by people at all hours..

That is definitely NOT NATURAL. It has only been a fraction of our times as humans that we have been so overpopulated...let alone lived in places where we actually don't even know who is around us...

I am more of a sensitive-type. I know that... so I think I'm just more genetically geared not to be in a civilization.

I always used to notice after taking even simply 3 hours or so, going out in pure nature away from everyone... that as I'm driving back...for about the first 10 minutes as soon as we hit civilization...its like it doesn't even bother me... u know driving through bumper to bumper traffic... its like i don't mind the lack of space...

But then slowly it just starts cranking on me again... because its just too congested for my liking..

The thing is I am just the type of person that likes my own damn space. And that doesn't really exist.

So I think social anxiety isn't some big fucking genetic disease... I think thats so fucking sad...we are being led astray by the pharmas...

I think for many of us we are just SO FUCKING SICK OF BEING SURROUNDED BY STRANGERS ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

You can't get your own space.

I know alot of people are like me. We need our own space. We need to be able to yell at the top of the lungs and know that not a single person can hear us or see us...

I mean... I bet you could easily do (and i'm sure they have been done) studies of taking animals into captivity, and seeing how it effects them mentally...

In many ways we are held captive in our lives. We live in cages called homes...take the same roads to work/school/etc... we live in a small little cage called our "city" that we hardly escape from ever. There is no room... We are locked into lines called traffic lanes...with rules all around us restricting us in every direction.

I think we have gone SO far into civilization that we just take for granted and probably don't even THINK for a second how much negative effects civilization has on our mental and physical well-beings. I'm sure it effects some of us more than others, as in the case of people with so called "dis-orders".

Personally I'm finally taking matters into my own hands. I find that drugs do help... for instance alcohol is a good thing to just sorta tranquilize you so that you don't feel like such a bound up caged animal when you are surrounded by people and its gotten too much...

Paxil did the same thing. Just a big fucking giant tranquilizer.. seriously... the withdrawal from that was a bitch.

But for me I'm going to try to make a concerted effort to actually GET my own space out in nature...

Thats why I'm now waking up at 4:30 tomorrow morning to take my dog to a nature area in the heart of the city i live in (disgustingly huge city)... so that hopefully I can pretend that I'm free...

I think many people like me tend to stay up really late in the night...just to get that feeling that most people are asleep...but I don't think thats good enough.

I don't know. Many if anyone of you out there is like me... you could try what I'm doing. Try to get some time out in nature a few times a week. Maybe just a weekend camping trip would help your head for the week in the city. Or maybe you need it to be a daily thing, or thrice weekly...whatever.

Any comments?

 

[wishbone420]

i feel u. i don't like to talk to anyone outside of my little circle so to speak. i hate walmart or anywhere lots of people will be. this feeling can stem from various things etc..

 

[PhenoMenal]

You can be totally free with your own space, you just need to be fully self sufficient

 

[EatCannabisRaw]

Yeah thats the thing. I sorta hate having to be all friendly to fellow humans on trails...when I'm really trying to escape them... its like sometimes I just want to fucking kill the person as they are approaching me...

But I can see both sides. When I have gotten more into hiking...or just have hiked long periods of time... after awhile you do start feeling like you've gotten your space and when a person comes in the opposite direction your actually GENUINELY friendly to them...

Thats the thing. It seems so much time I spend trying to fake being nice to random people you see in stores and stuff. I believe in being nice to people, and being friendly... but in REALITY I just don't even want to...because its just way too much for me... I can see how small towns its easy to be nice to people...because its like your not constantly surrounded by people at all hours so you don't get sick of them as much...hence being friendly and nice is just more natural.

For me it feels like a struggle a lot of the time to be that type of person. And I really hate that. Its not something I'm happy about. I want to be a person people feel like they can talk to...

But reality has its constraints..and thats why I want to get in nature to see what happens if I get lots of space on a daily basis... maybe my personality will change. I'm a psychology major and very observant so I'll be watching closely..

But the problem with city trails is damn...there is no peace... hopefully tomorrow morning I'll find out if its something I can depend on. I already have a place I can go to thats just like this big open field type thing..although its sorta industrial and disgusting...but at least hardly anyone is ever there. But its not really in a nature area...

Thanks for the comment.

 

[guineapig]

I've often thought that certain aspects of the modern world conflict with "human-ness," or whatever it means to be a fully functional human.....

You make some good points about "social anxiety" and how it is the organization of the world that is at fault, not the organization of your brain.....

Remember that some of the greatest artists, scientists, and thinkers in history have been reclusive......they all needed "a room of one's own" in order to survive......

It does help to get into a natural setting every now and then.....the correlation between the rise of the modern world and the rise of mental "dis-orders" such as "social anxiety disorder"......and, of course, in order to escape the madness of the modern world humans will turn to drugs of all kinds and belief systems of all kinds.....

I often feel like an outsider who is trapped in the wrong century......hopefully you can find a situation in which you feel more comfortable.....

kind regards from guineapig

 

[EatCannabisRaw]

Yeah eventually I want to just live in a commune in nature probably...like have a close-knit groups of people and families...where we live off the land...totally off-grid or at least highly self-sufficient.

 

[EatCannabisRaw]

Thanks Guineapig...
I thought a little bit ago about religion...and how I think its easier to be surrounded by people in civilizations when you cognitively train yourself to try to love other people...as in christianity. Not that you couldn't do that in a tribal setting in nature...but I just think its more helpful psychologically when your in a civilization...

I agree with being trapped in a wrong century...i know what you mean.

My idea is that maybe getting out in nature every day or every other day will act like kinda a Paxil effect... so that I will feel less crazy. I don't know. Its not like things are super bad now...its just...I'm always looking for ways to feel better mentally...

My mother ALWAYS wakes up at the crack of dawn and goes on a walk...then drinks coffee. I finally realized why a few years ago.. its her only time to truly get her own space...

 

[GET MO]

I love goin ta wal-mart.... unless Im with my girl, too much ass and I have wandering eyes...

 

[tuco]

Same here. Too much company and I will get antsy. Not so much company...just people talking to me. Silence is golden.

However, if I go overseas and spend time in a country where not many speak English then after about a week I am begging for someone to speak to me and I am much more friendly and personable. Last trip I was in Chang Mai and hadn't conversed with anyone. Some drunk Irishman came up to me on the street, giving me a sob-story about having his passport stolen and no cash. I actually stood there for about 5 minutes and talked to him before telling him to phuck off. No way I would be so sweet back home.

 

[socioecologist]

ECR--nice post. I deal with the same issues, and know quite a few others that do as well. It's tough being a fish out of water in this modern world, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling the way you do.

I think you identified a very real point--this world we live in ain't anything like the one we evolved in. Most research on happiness, anxiety, etc. come to a similar conclusion; the modern, industrialized world (and the US above and beyond all others) is a mentally unhealthy place to live.

Side note: I find it ironic--but telling?--that I'm surrounded by a large percentage of people with social anxiety in my profession as a sociologist.

 

[EatCannabisRaw]

eh

eh

i'm glad i'm not alone in my feelings but i didn't doubt i was..

sociologist - maybe because sociologists are great at observing people...which ends up turning on them when there are way too many people...its just way too much information coming in. thats how i feel a lot of times.

 

[ureapwhatusow]

i avoid being outside because I am afraid of "being watched"

had this issue since i was a very young child

If I am in a low population density natural area, upstate in the boonies, i feel stellar

i think its population density coupled with the american value system transforming to "the material me", I am what I wear and what I own, we are all on display and judged based on what brand we conscribe too.

 

[zeeba amoeba]

Yeah eventually I want to just live in a commune in nature probably...like have a close-knit groups of people and families...where we live off the land...totally off-grid or at least highly self-sufficient.

there are several communes like that, you just need to check it out in your local alternative paper, or get on the internet and google them. I bet you can find a commune within 500 miles of you. I know there is one in Georgia, called Enola or something, it's way out in the boonies. You live on a farm and grow your own food and clothing. You earn "Serva" points by doing things for the community. With enough Serva points, you can buy access to a telephone or time on a computer with internet. You have your own cabin, but can choose to live with somebody else. Since you see the same people all the time, I guess your social anxiety wouldn't kick in. Or would it?

If your answer is "yes, it would," then you cannot live in a commune, and your only option is to be a hermit like the Unabomber living far away from humankind. But do not mail packages to people that explode when they open it, because that is not very nice. Just grow your own and chill.

I used to get anxious outside or when in public when I was a boy. But as I got older, say sixteen or so, then I started cultivating an attitude of not caring. Sort of like growing a thicker skin? You just have to believe in yourself, that you're cool and even dangerous to a certain extent and the world has to make room for you. Look people in the eye and examine them for defects, and behave as though you have nothing in the slightest to fear from anybody.

I mean you have to ask yourself. Do you have a penis? If the answer is yes then the next question is, do you know how to use it? If the answer is yes then what's the problem? You're not a muslim woman that needs to hide away in a veil or in some harem away from the eyes of men. The ultimate problem here may be low testosterone levels, cut out the beer and engage in more exercise such as weight-lifting to build muscle mass.

Exercise for you to do to conquer shyness:

1. when in a restaurant, if there is some little thing not to your liking, complain to the waiter about it. If the waiter doesn't give satisfaction then demand to speak to the manager. Look them in the eye when talking, and believe in what you are saying.

2. approach a police officer on the street and ask for directions. They are there to serve you. Remember?

3. approach an attractive woman and ask her if she has a light for your cigarette. even if you don't smoke, this is a good exercise, because most women don't smoke, and chances are she won't have a light. If she does, ask her for a cigarette, too. Who knows, you might get lucky.

4. If someone is staring at you making you feel uncomfortable, walk over to them and say, "Hey Gonzo! Is that you? Did you just get out of prison?"

5. while people are looking at you, touch your zipper, to make sure it is up. If you need to scratch a little do it. Stare back and look for their reaction.

 

[grapepunched]

I feel the same way everyday.
Social anxiety and regular anxiety feel like they're inescapable at times.

I try to get stoned and be by myself, listen to some music...
I'm in a very big cit, but there's fun activities to do to keep my mind wandering...
When I've had too much of people though, it's always back to my special spot
to make me feel better.

Good luck, I hope one day we will conserve resources and space...
Until then, some jams and some cannabis is my key to expanding my mind...

-gp

 

[whiterabbit9]

zeeba and ureap thanks! it is worth reading there is some advice

for sure I have a bit of the godamn, feminine side, but you know it's about caring, making things grow, love, tranquility, but in this day and age

if you are afraid to walk the streets then my friend
there is a problem

and surely this is how I feel sometimes because I am still a little young

there are solutions

me I had lots of problems with my penis, not really about size, but because it was broken lol, serious there are like 4-5 defects on it, but it's on road to recovery

but I blame it on caring too, it's bad, If you say something to me, I have no choice to reflect on it aye , but ya, we all have problems, let's hope for the best my friends

if you care, it's sort of weakness

but people who care are magical

 

[skylined]

I find myself feeling something similar EatCannabisRaw. Although it's not so much social anxiety (oh it's there all right) but rather just a feeling of raw...disgust at having an enormous number of people always crushing and crowding. That's why I left the city I lived in and moved to a college town (it was high time I had a place of my own anyways). When I'm outta college I'm going to head to the PNW b/c the population density there is very low and there's an enormous amount of woods and space and nature to just enjoy and make you feel at peace. Cities are inherently un-natural and the energy you feel in them is just...sorta dead and indifferent and shallow and glitzy. Only time it's tolerable is when I'm high and I'm able to see the beauty in it (damn all the lights look nice). I'd suggest moving to a place where you won't have to live in a city but you can drive to one in 30-60 minutes (Everyone needs a hydro store lol). Best of luck finding some peace.

~Skylined

 

[EatCannabisRaw]

Well I've had some more thoughts about this and figured I'd post them.

I had a realization the other day in one of my court ordered support groups... and I realized that I actually care alot. I'm a sensitive person. Always have been.

The point is though, since probably I was stabbed over by other people, I've developed a fear of people...and I think one thing I've done since I probably was in 6th grade is constantly protect my own energy from others. Its like I have to put shields up constantly around other people... even "friends"... its like I can't get too close.

Looking back its like wow... So lately I've just decided to accept that I actually do care. And its really changed things. Its like I don't get uncomfortable around other people because I guess... I know that I have their best interests in mind. Like... I respect them...for just being them.

Its really helping me right now... I didn't think such a simple change in mindset could do this... its so powerful its quite amazing. I've dealt with social anxiety for a very long time too...

Sure people might hurt me, but I'm not going to let someone take away my ability to care about other people. Thats just the type of person I am. I've always been like this with dogs and its amazing how most dogs will approach me...even ones that never approach other humans. Its just I've completely shielded myself from humans because.... I guess I got bit by some nasty humans...kinda like some people getting bit by dogs shy away from dogs...

So I'm kinda excited because I hope that this will open up new avenues in my life... because being scared of people sucks. Its like the worst thing in the world... robs you of a lot...

BTW, for any who were following this thread... I have been spending more time in nature. And yes it does sorta give you a break from people and makes you feel good etc etc. However it doesn't seem the solution... since ultimately I think we all crave human intimacy and closeness... I don't know...just some thoughts.

 

[zoolander]

I'm in a glass cage of emotion LOL , I hate being around people and just like to be left alone in my own little world . And I have you guy's and I don't even have to leave me casa.

 

[DitBaMay]

stop smoking weed then

 

[EatCannabisRaw]

It has nothing to do with weed...or at least if that last post was directed to me?