Severe Depression

[Loc Dog]

That's nothing. They used to beat the piss out of me. I was once punched in the face with a closed fist by a 260 pound priest who was a former football player. If that happened now, it would be all over the papers, and he would be arrested. But it was allowed back then. And almost all the priests and brothers were pedophiles. I once got smashed in the face by the principal, who then hugged me and said, "sorry son, but Jesus made me do it". Sounds incredible, but it really happened.

The problem with those assholes, back then, the authorities would always believe them. They are associated with the church, so they must be righteous.

POS's that hide behind religion, for their gain or perversion, should be crucified.

Again, I apologize for going off the positive train of thought AltarNation has brought.

I apologize to all!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Loc Dog]

I was 60-70 lbs in sixth grade, and had racist alcoholic teacher.

Anyone moving in would push me around, to be cool. Mostly those left back or transfers. 7th and eighth grade, would hide during lunch.

They could not get away with that crap, these days.

Racist teacher was Irish (drunk busted a few times, in school), and had very English , first and last name.

Another teacher tried to humiliate me in 3rd grade, putting clip in my hair, because she met my brother at bar, and never called her.

It would be fantastic, if all the great people here, lived in same area.

it is really sad, to me, that the best people I have ever met, will probably never actually meet. Have many not on list, like RG.

I have one semi - friend IRL. Have dozens here, that I know better.

I am in snob crap hole, and 41 children have died from smack, in local towns, in 18 months.

To me, bud is good. Mushrooms are good several times in ones life. Fuck all other including pharm/chem drug pushers. that are not essential.

 

[SPG.]

That's nothing. They used to beat the piss out of me. I was once punched in the face with a closed fist by a 260 pound priest who was a former football player. If that happened now, it would be all over the papers, and he would be arrested. But it was allowed back then. And almost all the priests and brothers were pedophiles. I once got smashed in the face by the principal, who then hugged me and said, "sorry son, but Jesus made me do it". Sounds incredible, but it really happened.

A Priesttt!!! Thats real bad rg! You dont expect that to happen..!!

Priest!!!!!! .. foooook!,
priest with issues eyh! hope he was sacked for that??

 

[Loc Dog]

A Priesttt!!! Thats real bad rg! You dont expect that to happen..!!

Priest!!!!!! .. foooook!,
priest with issues eyh! hope he was sacked for that??

Do not want to be negative, but for that he should be beaten with baseball bat, for abusing a position of trust!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One on one conflict, between people of equal age, and status, is one thing (which is not tolerated anymore), but abuse of a child, should be screwed up ass by elephant.

Sorry for negative post, but that is my breaking point.

 

[AltarNation]

I saw all movies as child in late 60's and 70's. Re-watched again in early 1980's.

Used his idea's to sculpt body, being smallest in class, through school. Ignored biceps, concentrated on triceps, lats, and speed. Also torso shaping from Joe Weider. To get cobra upper body, Very wide traps, and stretched chest. I still have it, in 50's.

The ability to kick ass, and projecting that with out words or actions, is a great thing.

Triceps, lats... check... haha... I really like the idea of that cobra upper body... I have MAJOR issues holding my upper chest up actually... due to complications from the accident I was in I ended up with a lot of muscle atrophy and my shoulder support suffered pretty bad... had a lot of issues with upper back pain around the shoulder blades, on and off, for years.... still trying to get myself situated to conquer it... so far I do yoga to strengthen the area and open the heart center.

I will have to see if I can find any resources for more info on routines to cultivate bruce lee's body style... link me if you got em bro...

 

[AltarNation]

I never really had that problem, been big all my life in 6th grade I was 6ft and 200lbs. As I became older I became heavier but not much taller and as an adult I ended up being built kind of like an offensive guard or tackle. People rarely even try to mess with me because of my size. I did take Martial arts for a while though not for defense so much but rather to try to have better control if I get in a fight. The few times I had been in one before that I'd just go into a berserker rage where I'd go way beyond what was needed.

I have got a little of each variable on my plate... I'm tiny but also berserker... I have been in like two fights and they were both with people I considered friends at the time... I am scared what would happen if someone challenged me... I take a fight as a threat to my life, not a game... I am subconsciously inclined to do everything I can do completely disable the person at the very least...

So I sorta want to study martial arts myself, for these reasons. I have been a pacifist my entire life... bullies provoked me with verbal and mental abuse in school, and I would just try to ignore it. Occasionally I tried to shoot my mouth back but I was too nervous a kid to deliver anything effective to disable the attacks.

As an adult i've lived with a lot of social anxiety about what other people think and have had a lot of challenges keeping my throat chakra open, saying what I need to say, et cetera. I have continued to avoid physical confrontations because I see peace as the best path... but I am starting to realize more and more that maybe I need to test my convictions... I am reminded of the fight club scene at the beginning when he says "how much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?"

I'm not about to go start one to find out... because I'm too rationally minded to pursue that... but I do have antagonistic energy on a subconscious level and people tend to want to spar verbally with me as a result... which sucks, because I prefer to just get along on a conscious level. In order to address the subconscious level, I suspect it would behoove me to study martial arts. I am most interested in tai chi and qi gong currently, but wouldn't settle for the westernized version that's all about exercise... I need a real master who will teach me the wisdom behind the art.

 

[AltarNation]

I am in snob crap hole, and 41 children have died from smack, in local towns, in 18 months.

To me, bud is good. Mushrooms are good several times in ones life. Fuck all other including pharm/chem drug pushers. that are not essential.

Dude, snob crap hole? Heroin epidemic amongst the young? You must be from where I'm from... lol. Or it ain't such an uncommon frame at the least!

I agree with the latter statement too... I think that anything can be abused (I have a friend who, during high school, decided to shroom every day for 2 months...) and to be honest I abuse pot more than anything else! When I don't want to deal with my shit, I consume waaaaay more.

But.. well. It's so much better to do that with pot than with something more destructive. That's what I always tell myself. So I keep Mary close by my side, because she can take the abuse without turning around and murdering me like some substances will.

That being said... pot or mushrooms, if I give it some space, they're way more effective. Pot sends me out farther than shrooms do if I take a tolerance break. I tend to take one a year... usually 3-6 months off. After that, I will be off-planet if I smoke weed. I have to be extremely careful with how much I dose at that point. VERY easy to go over the edge...

Sorry, rambling a little here, just hit the vaporizer to get myself going this morning...

Anyway. Shrooms have really helped me to learn to see myself from outside of myself, so that I can appreciate the good things about me. When I can't remember why I should love myself, shrooms show me. I look in the mirror so nervously... what will I see? ... "Oh, hello. What are you scared of?"... it's only me! And then I realize, how silly I've been, I love me! He's my favorite! Been with me all along! God damn! Why'd I think I didn't like me?!

... very cool substance, imho.

 

[DAT]

wow you guys can really verbalize your thoughts so well through writing. I enjoy reading your posts. Sorry to hear about the abuse and trauma ...those were horrible events.
its interesting how much we have in common on many levels.....I know that exact SCene in the movie ..HempKat.. about the finger and the moon. HA...I like using that quote.
Shrooming is so freakin awesome. So visual , I love looking at patterns everywhere moving and so vivid. I try to recreate what a shroomin trip to me is like through my art.

Bruce Lee is buried here in Seattle at a beautiful cemetery up on a hillside.
We visited his grave . Its in a very crowded spot but its a nice site.
There is presently an exhibition of his life downtown and his wife and daughter gave talks the opening day.

I have the C99 Sativa strain and it smells really fruity.
I got it from a friend so don't know the origin. They were Regs though.
I started Flushing yesterday and I used a new product for Bloom Enhancing im very happy with. Humboldts Own Sonic Bloom with Vitamin B. I attempted a mainline with her in the beginning, u might be able to see in the 2nd picture. No likey mainlining, never again.lol

 

[Ph-patrol]

I see so many people around my area getting on the pharmaceutical drugs and then transitioning to heroin. A nurse friend tells me its out of control. These people have money to boot. Shame on the DR , They know better. To many DR incentives. Shameful.

I am hearing you on the taking a break from smoking. I do the same Alter. You loose the tolerance and its more of a treat for me. I love smoking and experiencing life.

 

[AltarNation]

Those look a good bit like mine! But if they are regs they must not be from female seeds But glad to see there is similarity across the different varieties available out there. Female Seeds prides themselves on their genetics being connected legitimately in this case, and it looks like yours is too, whatever breeder it came from.

Really nice beautiful buds, how long did you veg before flipping if you don't mind me asking?

 

[AltarNation]

I see so many people around my area getting on the pharmaceutical drugs and then transitioning to heroin. A nurse friend tells me its out of control. These people have money to boot. Shame on the DR , They know better. To many DR incentives. Shameful.

I am hearing you on the taking a break from smoking. I do the same Alter. You loose the tolerance and its more of a treat for me. I love smoking and experiencing life.

Pharma is a big problem for sure. It's a large aspect of how control is maintained, so to speak...

I am about due for a break... but I also managed to stretch through and avoid it and have my new crop drying, any day now, lol.

So I think this time what I am going to do is really re-double my efforts towards self-healing practices and let myself keep going, because I don't really feel like I am down with stopping for an extended period right now anyway. So, lots of water, good food intake, and exercise! That's the plan.

One of the problems for addictive personality types is that we tend to scapegoat something and use it as a martyr. We nail it to a cross in representation of our own faults, and decide that now that we've done away with it, we are free. Whether it's addiction to a specific drug, or to coffee, or addiction to cigarettes, or food, or whatever.

I think that most people are addictive personality types in denial, really. First world anyway.

Because people are capable of creating their own realities, this false martyrdom creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and convinces them that they are free. But at the expense of an aspect of reality that gets demonized in the public eye through a group denial effort. (See: marijuana legislation!)

The reason creative energy is important is that we can use it as a (willing) martyr in place of aspects of the collective opinion that get demonized like pot is. (To be clear, what gets demonized or judged are the people who do it, so the martyrdom ends up being a falsely-focused witch hunt more often than not. That's why we can't simply demonize X behavior we disagree with and leave it at that.)

This "creative energy" is sometimes referred to as "Jesus Christ", or more aptly, "Christ Consciousness."

 

[DAT]

Thanks Altar!
I don't remember about the veg. I mainlined it and it seemed to take forever to veg. I never like veggin over 4 weeks.. , and this girl is super super stretched out I had to pull all her buds together with some wire to even get it to look like that in the 2nd picture. yeah i think it does look a bit llike urs minus the red branches...
yeah I wish I could get more info on these B33ns. Ill I know is it is a 6-7 week Sativa Dom strain. I gave him this drawing as a gift and he gave me the C99s.

 

[Ph-patrol]

I believe in controlling my life and always listening to my inner voice. I have not drinken alcohol in 13+ years. I got into this whole thing because my queen has bipolar 2 and cannabis is a huge relief for her when things get bad. She expressed her feelings and wants so I started to read and read about cannabis. I feel blessed that I can now help her some how.
My state became friendlier at the right time for us. Plus I love to Grow. I have a Huge Vegetable garden. Years Ago `I shit when I started to find all these seed companies that mail killer genetics straight to you. I have Bodhi gear at the moment. Oh I have a nice Chocolope in flower too.
We are into eating well too. No processed foods, fish, less red meats and tons of vegies.
Its great for positive mental health. Being Proactive.

With best of intentions PH-Patrol

 

[AltarNation]

Thanks Altar!
I don't remember about the veg. I mainlined it and it seemed to take forever to veg. I never like veggin over 4 weeks.. , and this girl is super super stretched out I had to pull all her buds together with some wire to even get it to look like that in the 2nd picture. yeah i think it does look a bit llike urs minus the red branches...
yeah I wish I could get more info on these B33ns. Ill I know is it is a 6-7 week Sativa Dom strain. I gave him this drawing as a gift and he gave me the C99s.

That drawing is bad ass. I love the detail/fill work you're doing. That is what makes awesome art, an attention to fine detail. I like to do stuff like that when I'm drawing. I usually don't have the patience to fill a whole page, though. I came pretty close a few times when I was abusing adderall in my college years but haven't found the commitment to long drawing times very often since then. Maybe it was the nice angled art table... or maybe it was the speed.. hah.

Anyway. I dig it, that's what I was saying. Right? Right. haha.

 

[RetroGrow]

A Priesttt!!! Thats real bad rg! You dont expect that to happen..!!

Priest!!!!!! .. foooook!,
priest with issues eyh! hope he was sacked for that??

No. He wasn't sacked, as I never reported it. At that time, priests, or anyone wearing a robe could get away with anything. The Catholic church has paid out incredible amounts of money in law suits against pedophile priests. Why do you think they become priests? They were gay, which was not accepted at the time, and they got to work around children. A dream job for them! They could abuse children without consequence. At my school, which was on the campus of Fordham University, they had a large, indoor, Olympic sized swimming pool. They used to make us swim naked once a week. That's right. Naked in front of the pedophile Latin teacher. If that happened now, you can imagine the uproar in the news media. These were truly sick people hiding behind the cloth.
I wish they weren't all dead, so I could kill them personally.

 

[Ph-patrol]

No. He wasn't sacked, as I never reported it. At that time, priests, or anyone wearing a robe could get away with anything. The Catholic church has paid out incredible amounts of money in law suits against pedophile priests. Why do you think they become priests? They were gay, which was not accepted at the time, and they got to work around children. A dream job for them! They could abuse children without consequence. At my school, which was on the campus of Fordham University, they had a large, indoor, Olympic sized swimming pool. They used to make us swim naked once a week. That's right. Naked in front of the pedophile Latin teacher. If that happened now, you can imagine the uproar in the news media. These were truly sick people hiding behind the cloth.
I wish they weren't all dead, so I could kill them personally.

My Dad told me the same story about the priest having kid swim naked and A priest knocked his front teeth out by pushing him down a set of stone stairs .I think it created an opinion on the catholic church that was not favorable. The trust and respect that family put into these monsters at that time is outrageous.
Monsters are the pedophile priest and the church for protecting them.

 

[RetroGrow]

My Dad told me the same story about the priest having kid swim naked and A priest knocked his front teeth out by pushing him down a set of stone stairs .I think it created an opinion on the catholic church that was not favorable. The trust and respect that family put into these monsters at that time is outrageous.
Monsters are the pedophile priest and the church for protecting them.

You're dad went to Fordham Prep?

 

[Ph-patrol]

No He did not. But I looked up your school and its not that far away. North East coast. He is 70 now.

 

[RetroGrow]

No He did not. But I looked up your school and its not that far away. North East coast. He is 70 now.

I thought we were the only ones forced to swim naked!
But it doesn't surprise me. These were very sick individuals. They ruled by fear. Our principal would roam the halls with a scowl on his face. When you were in "trouble", they would page you over the school intercom system, which went to all classrooms, and say, *** ***, report to the principals office. This would mean you were getting a beating, and it kept all the students in fear.

 

[Loc Dog]

What does it say, that many of us are from NYC, tri-state area, and have depression???

My town is highly catholic, with only church in area, especially in 1960's. They were very racist, looking down on other religion, and Irish blamed anyone with an English name, for problems there. Did not realize my ancestor's left, for a reason.

Regarding Bruce Lee, and his teachings, the basis, of Jeet Kune Do, is use what works for you, and discard the rest. That goes both in fighting, and living.

He studied all fighting methods, and used what worked for him. Study your life, and use what works!!!

His martial arts started with Wing Chun, which was created by a woman priest. The basics are dissolving attacks, then hitting vital areas, if needed. It is based on defense, as opposed to offense.

Forget if it was zen, or Buddhist philosophy, that resorting to violence is harmful to your true being. If violence is your answer, you are stupid. There are exceptions, in case of violent crime.

Best wishes to all!!!