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need some help with confidence and women.

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G0d5hand

Member
Hello people. I am in my late 20's and Lately I have been feeling, well, a lack of confidence, which has been affecting me meeting new women. I find I stare down at the ground often and Just wondering any of you have ever gone through this? I am not out of shape and not unattractive, but I feel the lack of confidence maybe the reason I have a hard time talking to women, but maybe it is my not knowing how to talk to unfamiliar women (i mean meeting women to) that I have a lack of confidence. This problem has arisen in the last 4 months and it is starting to piss me off. So this is sorta a duel question. any advice on getting women/ meeting women, and ways to boost self confidence? Thought I would ask here as there are so many people from so many backgrounds maybe would help. Anyways, Thanks for any advice.
G0d5hand
 
funker

funker

Active member
dude u gotta play to win, just talk to the chicks...i'm kind of reserved when meeting new people but i just play a game where i convince myself in my head that any girl i talk to is into me and proceed until i am informed otherwise...

think of it this way, if u don't think ur the shit and can't make interesting conversation then what girl is gonna think otherwise? also it might sound chincy but why not check out a couple of dating sites if u don't like starting conversations with strangers? no harm no foul...
 
G

G0d5hand

Member
the main problem is I had a tight group of friends, like 14 years of being close friends, and this last year they moved for school and work. I don't really go to bars, and just graduated, as well my work is a sausage fest. I wander around smiling at women but nothing ever happens. Maybe I just need to dress better or . . . . ( i dont dress like a skid or anything and always wearing fresh kicks).
 
WonderWoman86

WonderWoman86

Member
It's always hard meeting new people, especially when we're not acting like "ourselves". You just have to go w/ the flow. Listen to funker, and sign up for a dating site. Or check out the personals ads in your local newspaper. = ) Stay strong!
 
WonderWoman86

WonderWoman86

Member
Maybe try joining a local co-sex sports team? Or maybe city singles events? It would be an easy way to meet new friends, and potential girlfriends! haha
 
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G0d5hand

Member
Also what can you talk about to someone you dont know. dont know what to say, really want to talk, but lack of convo.
 
WonderWoman86

WonderWoman86

Member
Hmmm . . . talk about anything! The weather for starters, no matter how cheesy that sounds. haha Talk about music, and traveling? Your hobbies, and what are hers? That sorta thing. It's always good to make sure you have similar interests. = )
 
funker

funker

Active member
smiling won't cut it man, u gotta start a conversation...don't talk about the weather or stupid shit like that though...

to be honest i think what u really need is to spend a week in amsterdam and hit up the red light district...have at it with 5 or 6 girls from all over the world and when u get back to where ur from u won't be trippin out over some triflin females...

edit-

rec sports leagues are a good call, bascially any activity that is geared towards ending in drinking...
 
funker

funker

Active member
the RLD girls are pro, its like the difference between purpose-built racecars and daily drivers....
 
F

Funky Donkey

"How can I be right for somebody else if I'm not right for me?" ........

It's the oldest question since the beginning of cilvilized man. How can I get laid with the least amount of effort?

But really, it's human nature to lack confidence when meeting new people. That is, unless you've been through it many times and know the game. The reason many people have a problem with new relationships is that they:

1. Fear rejection (bad for ego)

2. Lack a sense of humor

3. Lack humility

4. Want someone to approach them first (ego, rejection, humility, pride, etc)

5. Don't want to be just themselves, when that's only what others want

6. Don't have the financial status they think they require

and you can go on and on.

You have to honest, be yourself, have a sense of humor (not a sarcastic one), be willing to understand others, not be pretentious, control your emotions, have a set of personal goals and know what you want.

People can see your emotions, your weaknesses, your lack of confidence. When you are relaxed and have a real sense of purpose, others will take notice.

I find that when I simply go about my business and act as if I have no interest in others, people notice this. Most people want to be noticed, but they don't want to be stalked or stared at. It makes them uncomfortable.

There's that little game that is played between people. If you completely ignore them, they will feel offended. People want attention, but not too much. If you don't know the rules of the game, you'll never win.:joint:


FD
 
G

G0d5hand

Member
yb v2.0. whats this mean?

I stare, I smile, I blush. So if I see a pretty girl just walk up and ask her how her day is going?
 
H

hunt4genetics

Active member
Veteran
I have zer0 confidence with the ladies. I do know that it's all about confidence, so I fake it. I draw on my drama club experiences. I pretend that I am playing the role of a confident guy. That's what works for me. There is a sort of mental distance that allows me to be that confident guy. I wish I just had it naturally, but that's life. Some people have fake boobs, hair, chins, eye lashes, etc. I have fake confidence.

Just fake it untill you make it.

peace
 
funker

funker

Active member
in the end what is fake, really? what is real? with regards to boobs i say, "if i can see them they're real"...same with confidence, it don't really matter if u are feeling confident as long as the female perceives you to be confident...

all the world's a stage...
 
barletta

barletta

Bandaid
Veteran
You see a hot girl, and you say "Wow, you are beautiful. (smiling and blushing, and looking her in the face) My name is Yummy, would you like to rub my tummy?" Then laugh, and she will laugh. Then tell her your real name, and ask her hers and how glad you are to have the honor of just BEING around such a vibrant individual (smiling and blushing the whole way). Then she will smile and blush, and you can whip it out. Let nature handle the rest.
 
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