gramma watt
Member
yes we do...
yes we do...
we are only hearing one side of the story..so I have nothing else to say...
except that with the emotions the OP is displaying here..and the language used...I have to wonder how much of her behavior he has provoked..brought on himself...
its a 2 way street...
yes we do...
i am blessed with a marriage of thirty years...Notice how women don't complain nearly as much about their partners? Guess we suffer in silence.
we are only hearing one side of the story..so I have nothing else to say...
except that with the emotions the OP is displaying here..and the language used...I have to wonder how much of her behavior he has provoked..brought on himself...
its a 2 way street...
the Rock
Active member
im goin on 23 happy years,,,,,,your thoughts are my exact thoughts
I didn't read through the whole thing. IMHO that's too much stress for the kid to be living under. The divorce will be tough and it will be a "broken home," but you stand to really do some damage if BOTH of y'all keep acting like this. You should learn how children learn and process information. He is getting to the age where he can understand things, but the argument's, stress, and tension is being written to his subconscious brain. You are teaching him how mother and father interact.
Silence, ha!
Silence, ha!
That is because woman are busy complaining about everything else to their man!!! The sky is too blue, why dont we have a bigger house, why dont you like to cuddle after we do it. bla bla bla.bitch bitch bitch.....
Silence, ha!
Notice how women don't complain nearly as much about their partners? Guess we suffer in silence.
That is because woman are busy complaining about everything else to their man!!! The sky is too blue, why dont we have a bigger house, why dont you like to cuddle after we do it. bla bla bla.bitch bitch bitch.....
That is a good point. but even if you get divorced you dont have to give up less than 50% custody. that is pretty much all she can get if you stand your ground. Also it doesnt have to feel like a broken home. both parents just have to be very active in his life.
You can make custody work and maybe that's exactly what both of y'all need so you can best serve his interest. It sounds like a very hostile situation. There comes a point when resolution is not feasible and you are doing more harm staying together than good. IMO. Now what that point is? Fuck if I know. But I know it exists and you have to start having the courage to change your life if you want to really help your boy.
Kush its great that you think things are working out. But in reality this is the best time to start finding ways you can retain custody of your son. If you were to proceed with this grow she just has to report you and you'll be bent over like stripper working that poll. A lot of us are speaking from experience.
Arguement+Angry Female+Menstrual Cycle+Grow=
Wish you the best of luck.
sad but true
OP I didn't read through all 18 pages...but I can certainly tell you this:
There is more damage being done if you stick with your current relationship rather than moving on and get out of it.
Your kid will be paying the price either way.
All you can hope is when your son gets older he will be asking his own questions no matter what his Mom has been telling him...and eventually find out the truth.
Good luck man!
There is more damage being done if you stick with your current relationship rather than moving on and get out of it.
Your kid will be paying the price either way.
All you can hope is when your son gets older he will be asking his own questions no matter what his Mom has been telling him...and eventually find out the truth.
Good luck man!
Shit, I didn't even think about the grow. You gotta get some shit off your plate. Way too much instability. Unstable people and situations land you in the pokie real quick. Then what is the kid going to do. C'mon bro. You have a family to think about. You got to start thinking about the consequences of what you are doing. Because they effect a lot more than just you now. Get your house in order before you partake in jailable activity or that's where your are going to end up. You may get probation, but do you really want your boy to see SWAT kicking down the door when he is five.
I'm not hating on people who grow legal with kids and what not, but you better damn well know you are in a very stable situation to do that. Otherwise, you are playing with some very hot fire.
I'm not hating on people who grow legal with kids and what not, but you better damn well know you are in a very stable situation to do that. Otherwise, you are playing with some very hot fire.
How do you know the boys yours? Maybe get a paternity test. You sound like someone that will always love this kid but getting the facts might help your decision. She sounds like someone you CAN'T trust! This bitch might have set you up. If she refuses to the test I would really wonder why. If she comes to you with divorce papers make signing contingent on her taking the test. Think about some of the shit you posted it could be used against you in a court of law!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I
IE2KS_KUSH
Well, update, we are separated ATM, probably going to file for divorce. Things are much better now. Life is looking up, and we are both doing well w/ my son and he seems to be happier. Been separated for a little over a month, she wants to stay together and believes that time apart will get us on track to getting back together, I don't believe that, I do believe this is by far the best for my son, and again, his attitude is drastically different now. I hated to do it, but at the same time, it really was the best thing to do.
smokesalot420
Member
Glad to hear life is looking up for you all, I hope it continues to do so!
man reading this thread makes me never want to get married and have kids....
Blckbrd
Member
I grew up in a home where my mother said the only reason she stayed was for me and my sister ... repeatedly, amidst really ugly fights and through sobs and over many sleepless nights over many many years. A horrible anti-relationship between parents who lived under the same roof for nothing more than selfish reasons.
Fast-forward ... now happily (though any partnership has its issues!) married 11 years with 2 beautiful young boys. As I said alone to myself as a young child, and as a young adult, and now as a grown parent - I really really really wish that my parents had split up. Growing up in that environment CAN'T be less destructive than having separated/divorced parents. DON'T stay "for the kids"! IMHO and IME, you will lose the chance to have a beautiful adult relationship with your son if you stick around thinking you are making it better for him now.
marziano
Member
As a son of divorce parents i totally agree with bb
It hurts at the very start, then comes the 13 and the new wonderful world of girls.
Do you remember when you was 13/16?
Do you really think at anything but sex?
Watch you feet...SEX
Watch TV...SEX
Watch the floor..seeeeeexxxxxx
This is how it worked for me.
Then i grow a little old...
And what i can say is just THANK YOU MA & PA
I got a beatiful relationship just 'cause they learn me how i can make step forward in my life.
That's your fucking job buddy
WorkOut hurts everybody, but i can bet on it, one day your son will come to you and says Thank you daddy, no mather that you'll be 80, it will be happens!!!
We are all with you, bro!!!
Yah man, Im pretty sure most kids come from a broken home these days, thats way worse than puttin him through the hell of watchin yall go through it all the damn time, might be hard for him to have a normal relationship in the future if thats all he knows... then again he might know what not ta look for. Good luck in your future, let that broad know you run shit man, u should be the one who decides your fate, not her. Woman respect a boss.
OMountainMix
Member
I'm worried that you're divorcing and growing at the same time. I would never grow in the same state as that woman again. And if you want to see your son, you're going to have to give up growing OR grow stealth at a separate site. Please consider putting everything in storage and waiting to start up again. It's not like she was your partner. If you were growing together, you'd BOTH have something to love if she reported you. She has nothing to lose, but you have a lot!
Hang in there and STAY SAFE!
Hang in there and STAY SAFE!
SoCaliSmoker
Member
I'm sorry, I wanted to read past the first page but I couldn't make it far enough without having to leave a comment on this situation. So I apologize if I'm repeating something that has been said before.
In one of the posts you left you said "No, don't feel sorry for me, I'm the retard that married her". I wanted to leave a completely different post for you but I have a new found respect for you. A gentleman that understands and takes responsibility for his actions.
You are divided between two roads:
1) Stay with the woman and terrorize yourself (with a possibility of literally losing your sanity)
2) Leave her with the possibility that YOUR life might be better off but it will jeapordize the future of your child
These are two very difficult decisions but are decisions that thousands before you have went through. When you choose to "stay" with her for the sake of the child, sometimes the arguements between the two of you and the constant fighting are so bad that it can be heard through walls or seen firsthand by your son. Something that will probably sit with him for the rest of his life.
On the other hand, if you leave (and you're right, she will say that you walked out on him and try to slander you) your son might grow up to be something completely different than what you hoped for him. The only thing you can do is the best that you can and make YOUR life as well as possible.
It's time to find a job regardless of pay (possibly two jobs) even if it means sacrificing time with your child. It will hold up in front of a judge and make it look like your trying your best to support your family. I'm not suggesting you work two jobs to support them, I'm suggesting you work two jobs to save enough money to get the hell out of there and take your son with you. You know how expensive this life can be just for ONE person, adding another mouth is that much more difficult.
You can have your cake and eat it too but it all begins with YOU my friend. Do as best as you can for the next two years and save as much as possible. Hide it from her. As you progress, you can purchase a cheap car, save enough to move, then file for divorce and take your son with you where you can work out an arrangement to see his Mother as the courts allow. Maybe every weekend.
But I can offer you a sound piece of advice though: DON'T KILL THE WOMAN! LOL. I don't mean to make a joke out of it but you do kinda sound like any minute someone is going to get a first-hand glimpse of the kitchen knife and then EVERYONE is fucked. Mommy is dead, Daddy's in jail, and baby boy is in adoptive care.
Do your best for the time being and take a breather! Smoke a nice joint, let her bitch all she wants and smile underneath. Just think to yourself, "I'm almost out of here". It's like saving up for a vacation. If I know a year in advance that Cancun will cost me $5,000.00 for an all inclusive vacation, I can save the money no problem. If you knew in two years that you need at least $20,000 to make a move out of there, then that breaks down to $833.00 a month or $208.00 a week. With two jobs you can have that kind of money without blinking!
Good luck my friend -
(again, don't kill her! LOL)
In one of the posts you left you said "No, don't feel sorry for me, I'm the retard that married her". I wanted to leave a completely different post for you but I have a new found respect for you. A gentleman that understands and takes responsibility for his actions.
You are divided between two roads:
1) Stay with the woman and terrorize yourself (with a possibility of literally losing your sanity)
2) Leave her with the possibility that YOUR life might be better off but it will jeapordize the future of your child
These are two very difficult decisions but are decisions that thousands before you have went through. When you choose to "stay" with her for the sake of the child, sometimes the arguements between the two of you and the constant fighting are so bad that it can be heard through walls or seen firsthand by your son. Something that will probably sit with him for the rest of his life.
On the other hand, if you leave (and you're right, she will say that you walked out on him and try to slander you) your son might grow up to be something completely different than what you hoped for him. The only thing you can do is the best that you can and make YOUR life as well as possible.
It's time to find a job regardless of pay (possibly two jobs) even if it means sacrificing time with your child. It will hold up in front of a judge and make it look like your trying your best to support your family. I'm not suggesting you work two jobs to support them, I'm suggesting you work two jobs to save enough money to get the hell out of there and take your son with you. You know how expensive this life can be just for ONE person, adding another mouth is that much more difficult.
You can have your cake and eat it too but it all begins with YOU my friend. Do as best as you can for the next two years and save as much as possible. Hide it from her. As you progress, you can purchase a cheap car, save enough to move, then file for divorce and take your son with you where you can work out an arrangement to see his Mother as the courts allow. Maybe every weekend.
But I can offer you a sound piece of advice though: DON'T KILL THE WOMAN! LOL. I don't mean to make a joke out of it but you do kinda sound like any minute someone is going to get a first-hand glimpse of the kitchen knife and then EVERYONE is fucked. Mommy is dead, Daddy's in jail, and baby boy is in adoptive care.
Do your best for the time being and take a breather! Smoke a nice joint, let her bitch all she wants and smile underneath. Just think to yourself, "I'm almost out of here". It's like saving up for a vacation. If I know a year in advance that Cancun will cost me $5,000.00 for an all inclusive vacation, I can save the money no problem. If you knew in two years that you need at least $20,000 to make a move out of there, then that breaks down to $833.00 a month or $208.00 a week. With two jobs you can have that kind of money without blinking!
Good luck my friend -
(again, don't kill her! LOL)
