And most women are mothers and a few men are actually Mr Moms these days while wifey earns the bacon.
But I had 5 children and only one was a daughter. I had her at 17 and technically we grew up together in some ways. But our problem I have DX'd as WE ARE TOO MUCH ALIKE!
Happens in lots of cases. We look alike ...or I looked like her when I was her age and she fears she will look like me when she gets old....te he and I ain't all that bad.
But I noticed when I was visiting her home recently that she had a pillow needlepointed that said "Mirror Mirror on the wall...I am just like my mother after all!"
So that is prolly the problem with her and I seeing things on an equal basis.
But we do dearly love each other and would actually die for each other.
SOOOO I did some research into MOM/DAUGHTER conflict and why it exists and want to run the idea by some here who MIGHT wish to respond. I know the women here won't prolly post on this thread as I think I have annoyed the women and that can happen when Madre shows up as I am a little outspoken and occaisionally piss ppl off...especially my fellow women.
But I had the opportunity to work many years in a traditional "mans" job and had to teach about 4,000 redneck men in Texas to accept WOMEN in the male dominated work force in the oil refineries in Texas R/T Affirmative action laws in 73......and I worked there 11 years before I became a nurse in my forties here.
Which was one hell of a career switch INDEED! But to make long story short I was mostly socializing with men at work in my early career and mostly women in my second career. So I have some real insight into social situations and the pecking orders.
And I had the same problem on another weed board I posted on for four years. BUT the moderation was not near as good and fair as it is here.
but back to Mothers Day and my research on Mother/Daughter conflict.
Dr. Midita Rastogi a psychologist and prof at a university says estrangement between mom and daughter is a combination of individual, familial, and societal factors...
Moms generation may have included social aspects such as economic depression, nuclear family, early marriage, and basic education.
As society changes and evolves a daughter may grow up in a completely different culture of a robust economy, varied family structures, delayed marraige, immediate focus on career, and higher education.
The doc says significant variations exist between ethnic groups in mom/daughter relations.
Euro-Americans want to have fun with their mom....but maintain certain boundaries.
Asian-Indian women generally turn to their moms for support, wisdom, and advice.
Mexican-Americans want to be dutiful daughters and help mom.
Some societal conditions lay the groundwork for the development of these conflicts.
Society EXPECTS US to be good moms! If we fail....we are "bad moms"
Moms more than dads are held responsible for good parenting responsibilities.
"Daughters always need their mom to be parents"
AND EXPECT MOM to mend the relationship.
'"Mothers, on the other hand, need great understanding from their daughters given the inequities in some of society's expectations."
SOOO these are the tips to amend according to this doc.
For minor conflict: daughter should try to understand the life circumstance challenges and choices that were made available to their moms.
Realize that ALL relationships have downsides.
Moms and daughters this Mothers Day should focus on the positive aspects of their relationship and invest time and energy into it.
They both should recognize that all choices can come with negative and positive results.
Regardless of social or ethnic backgrounds, pay attention to the INTENTIONS behind the choices.
Mother/daughter relationships run the gamut, but one common denominator....this relationship is prolly the most powerful and influential relationship in a womans life.
So the doc says!
True whether mom is present OR absent...loving or abusive....birth mom...stepmom...or adoptive mom/
Mothers matter more than many women will admit. "Many look in the mirror and see our mother staring back"
We speak to our children and hear our moms words coming out of our mouth. As a group MOMS are held to very high expectations.
WE DEMAND....moms love perfectly...live selflessly...AND NEVER MAKE MISTAKES!
Yet moms are just women with the same needs as everybody else....the same self-estem issues...weaknesses...and strengths...as everybody else.
DAUGHTERS tend to lay on mom the expectation of being SUPER-MOM.
While moms tend to displace their own needs on their daughters.
THUS THE CONFLICT....
The void felt by a woman whose mom died very young can become a starting place. The awareness of that void can lead her to look at herself and let it become a catalyst in her search for identity...
It can be a call to action and an opportunity to develop and affirm self-worth and determine who she wishes to be...
A woman whose relationship with her mom is filled with conflict presents different challenges. Friction is inevitable.
two different women from two different generations each with their own HX history ...needs///and agenda....and are likely to clash.
But even HX history of battles can ultimately lead to insight, growth, and even closeness....if properly done.
Swallow ones pride....put differences aside...and take the first step to end the cycle this Mothers Day.
ULTIMATELY acceptance of each other becomes the key to mending and healing.
If we remove expectations and understand that each person is just another human being hopefully doing their best at any given moment...
Then the chances for forgiveness and friendship is quite possible.
NOT TO SAY IT IS EASY!
relationships are complicated and moms and daughters are the MOST complicated of all/
But in each relationship is a wonderful opportunity.
Hope I did not bore you guys with my ranting but this is the womens forum where it is a good place to chat about this. And men also as I don't expect much of a response here...te he
Well gotta go this baby is sqirming in my lap and hard to type right now....forgive the typos.
Call your mom on Mothers Day and tell her you love her.
But I had 5 children and only one was a daughter. I had her at 17 and technically we grew up together in some ways. But our problem I have DX'd as WE ARE TOO MUCH ALIKE!
Happens in lots of cases. We look alike ...or I looked like her when I was her age and she fears she will look like me when she gets old....te he and I ain't all that bad.
But I noticed when I was visiting her home recently that she had a pillow needlepointed that said "Mirror Mirror on the wall...I am just like my mother after all!"
So that is prolly the problem with her and I seeing things on an equal basis.
But we do dearly love each other and would actually die for each other.
SOOOO I did some research into MOM/DAUGHTER conflict and why it exists and want to run the idea by some here who MIGHT wish to respond. I know the women here won't prolly post on this thread as I think I have annoyed the women and that can happen when Madre shows up as I am a little outspoken and occaisionally piss ppl off...especially my fellow women.
But I had the opportunity to work many years in a traditional "mans" job and had to teach about 4,000 redneck men in Texas to accept WOMEN in the male dominated work force in the oil refineries in Texas R/T Affirmative action laws in 73......and I worked there 11 years before I became a nurse in my forties here.
Which was one hell of a career switch INDEED! But to make long story short I was mostly socializing with men at work in my early career and mostly women in my second career. So I have some real insight into social situations and the pecking orders.
And I had the same problem on another weed board I posted on for four years. BUT the moderation was not near as good and fair as it is here.
but back to Mothers Day and my research on Mother/Daughter conflict.
Dr. Midita Rastogi a psychologist and prof at a university says estrangement between mom and daughter is a combination of individual, familial, and societal factors...
Moms generation may have included social aspects such as economic depression, nuclear family, early marriage, and basic education.
As society changes and evolves a daughter may grow up in a completely different culture of a robust economy, varied family structures, delayed marraige, immediate focus on career, and higher education.
The doc says significant variations exist between ethnic groups in mom/daughter relations.
Euro-Americans want to have fun with their mom....but maintain certain boundaries.
Asian-Indian women generally turn to their moms for support, wisdom, and advice.
Mexican-Americans want to be dutiful daughters and help mom.
Some societal conditions lay the groundwork for the development of these conflicts.
Society EXPECTS US to be good moms! If we fail....we are "bad moms"
Moms more than dads are held responsible for good parenting responsibilities.
"Daughters always need their mom to be parents"
AND EXPECT MOM to mend the relationship.
'"Mothers, on the other hand, need great understanding from their daughters given the inequities in some of society's expectations."
SOOO these are the tips to amend according to this doc.
For minor conflict: daughter should try to understand the life circumstance challenges and choices that were made available to their moms.
Realize that ALL relationships have downsides.
Moms and daughters this Mothers Day should focus on the positive aspects of their relationship and invest time and energy into it.
They both should recognize that all choices can come with negative and positive results.
Regardless of social or ethnic backgrounds, pay attention to the INTENTIONS behind the choices.
Mother/daughter relationships run the gamut, but one common denominator....this relationship is prolly the most powerful and influential relationship in a womans life.
So the doc says!
True whether mom is present OR absent...loving or abusive....birth mom...stepmom...or adoptive mom/
Mothers matter more than many women will admit. "Many look in the mirror and see our mother staring back"
We speak to our children and hear our moms words coming out of our mouth. As a group MOMS are held to very high expectations.
WE DEMAND....moms love perfectly...live selflessly...AND NEVER MAKE MISTAKES!
Yet moms are just women with the same needs as everybody else....the same self-estem issues...weaknesses...and strengths...as everybody else.
DAUGHTERS tend to lay on mom the expectation of being SUPER-MOM.
While moms tend to displace their own needs on their daughters.
THUS THE CONFLICT....
The void felt by a woman whose mom died very young can become a starting place. The awareness of that void can lead her to look at herself and let it become a catalyst in her search for identity...
It can be a call to action and an opportunity to develop and affirm self-worth and determine who she wishes to be...
A woman whose relationship with her mom is filled with conflict presents different challenges. Friction is inevitable.
two different women from two different generations each with their own HX history ...needs///and agenda....and are likely to clash.
But even HX history of battles can ultimately lead to insight, growth, and even closeness....if properly done.
Swallow ones pride....put differences aside...and take the first step to end the cycle this Mothers Day.
ULTIMATELY acceptance of each other becomes the key to mending and healing.
If we remove expectations and understand that each person is just another human being hopefully doing their best at any given moment...
Then the chances for forgiveness and friendship is quite possible.
NOT TO SAY IT IS EASY!
relationships are complicated and moms and daughters are the MOST complicated of all/
But in each relationship is a wonderful opportunity.
Hope I did not bore you guys with my ranting but this is the womens forum where it is a good place to chat about this. And men also as I don't expect much of a response here...te he
Well gotta go this baby is sqirming in my lap and hard to type right now....forgive the typos.
Call your mom on Mothers Day and tell her you love her.
. I'm sure she will call me tho.
My Mother passed away this past December. I will have to keep myself extra busy that day.
