It dies with you.

[smokefrogg]

i reject my dad's promiscuity

i reject my mom's hard drug usage/addiction

i reject the thousands of gods i was being led into following at the hindu temple by my godmother with my mom and dad's okay

i reject the hardcore drinking that took my godmother's mind then took her to the grave

i reject my dad's weird way of having coffee without any cream or sugar

i reject the way of letting welfare and ssi pay for everything instead of working that my mom showed me

 

[Easygrowing]

My " 2 Cent" to those..

remember,the soceity general nearly all over is chancged of many reasons,also the Mom,srolls and Dadroll,s.For generation,s back,where was our parents from a time,there everythings,was very harsh-compared,to our livingstyles-we got those day,s.
It shall not beeing an apology,for bad behavour..But in "those" time and generation,it was "naturally" men dominated in many places and the women,s,was behind the men and
dependent at there,s Men...
Today it,s totally different in many many ways and thanks for that..and so there was an second world war-there our parents,was a part of those or their,s pareants was and it goes from parents to their kids,in some way..the "social heritage" as we call in here,there im from..today all can get to an psychologist,or some can for getting help and so on..

But try to think just 20 years back,it was very different than today..The "roles" for beeing an parent or just an human-are very changed.Just try to keep this in memory,,
just that..Good Christmas anyway

 

[el dub]

My papa was a rolling stone.
Where ever he laid his hat was his home.
And when he died, all he left us was alone....

My father had families all over the country. My mother is on her fourth marriage. I hope to be with my (first) wife until death do us part.

lw

 

[grozzef]

good song el dub, i feel it.

the things i'm leavin behind would be the alcoholism, christianity, and letting the material things control the direction of life.

 

[Yes4Prop215]

my parents were good except my grandmas side of the family is kind of insane about education. they pretty much dictated where i had to go to college...had no choice. for me it wasnt too bad, i had a good college experiance. but my brother backfired. he wanted to work on cars and go to wyotech, my mom stepped in and forced him to go to a regualr college. well two years in, and he missed out on a good job offer at subaru, and is failing college because he is not the "academic" type...

so if i have kids...i will NOT force them to go to a certain school. they will be able to choose whatever they like. wanna go to art school, mechanic? whatever.....not forcing my kids to go to college its their own choice.

 

[bendoslendo]

Parents instill things? Weird.

I was raised by TV and the internet soo... things I've rejected:

1. I'm special Even if I could morph into a turtle, I'll never hone my ninja skills to the degree Raphael and Michelangelo have.
2. Consumerism it is a losing battle against yourself.
3. Constant contact I don't need to be accessible via 5 different vehicles of communication at all time.

 

[KRD]

Respect for cops thats it, Other than that they pretty much let me find out the hard way and I am very thankful for that.

 

[ROJO145]

I thought this thread was gonna be a "band camp" one,where I get to read all the homo shit yas did and now confess,instead its a homo thread where yas all blame yer parents and everyone else about ya problems!Go figure

 

[dread]

hmmm two things that was instilled in me by my folks, that I now reject..... hard work and respect for the law. lol fuck both of those.

same here Hashzeppelin,fuck the law & work as little as possible!!

grtz
D.

 

[GET MO]

I reject one woman one man. I need three woman.

 

[Ganja D]

same here Hashzeppelin,fuck the law & work as little as possible!!

grtz
D.

Whats wrong with hard work? Working hard builds is good for you.
If there's things about your parents you don't like then make a decision to be different. It's that easy. My dad is kind of cheap,so I'm generous and always tip at least 20%,so what,not a big deal.
Try to be positive.
Merry christmas and happy holidays.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Why the hate? you wouldn't be here without them...give them props for that at least.

Your life is YOUR responsibility...not anyone else's. You don't like it? Change it! Why do you EXPECT so much from parents? Maybe we're as selfish as you are? You take take take and expect us to give give give. And then you disrespect us? And you expect us to keep being nice?!?

Hey, maybe they didn't WANT you...selfish, I know, but wait until YOU are in their situation...it's EASY to judge others until you are placed into their situation. Their whole life "ended"...maybe "changed" is a better word...because you showed up.

you know...IF we spent as much time deciding whether or not to have children as much as we spend deciding what car to buy...we'd be better off as a people.

Oh...MANY of you kids turned out to be huge disappointments...remember that when you wonder why they treat you like they do. You act like we OWE you something.

We are many times just as frustrated with you as you are with us. Our job is to ready you for your own life of independence...nothing more.

You kids seem to think you have a "right" to everything your parents have. NO...you don't. IF you act nice, you "usually" will get more and nicer things...curse us, talk about us behind our backs...HATE us...and what the fuck do you think we're doing to do?

Unconditional love MAY work with your mother...but watch out for dad...in the animal kingdom...we EAT our young if they don't watch out! We don't have that "all warm and fuzzy unconditional love hormone"...we'll fuck you up if you fuck with us.

The trouble with kids...is they're kids. They CAN'T understand the subtleties of life and relationships. They don't have the "big picture".

If you treat your parents like shit...you're LUCKY they still talk to you.

Oh...and EVERY kid is different, don't treat them ALL the same, and they're all like chocolates in a box...you NEVER know how they'll turn out. Remember, your job as parent isn't to be their friend...it's to get them ready to go out on their own as a productive, independent person to make their own way.

So...I'll agree with "the beating stop here", ONLY if it's "dad's a fucker, he beats us for NO reason"...because sometimes, just about everyone needs a good beating to keep them in line. I sure did. And I've given a few too. "Abusing mom ends here"...again, with limits. Some women abuse mentally just as much as men do physically...she needs a good beating to keep her in line...just like the abusive father needs a good beating to make HIM stop abusing...to keep him in line.

Bottom line...many parents didn't want to be parents, many weren't ready for it, and some of you kids are real scumbags...nobody's perfect, and you can't expect your life to be either.

Here is your hand...how are YOU going to play it?

Don't allow others to rule your life.

At 52, I can't think of anything that "dies here". I was allowed to make my own decisions and my kids are allowed (and have to live with most times) to make their own decisions. One child is and has always been a joy, and has reaped the rewards because of it. Another has been a fight from day one...and as such, has little in reward. To each their own...you reap what you sow. The thing is...they're both happy in their own way.

I just thought I'd add a few words explain the other side of the coin a little. Give you another perspective. Think CAREFULLY before having a kid. For you AND them. Go out and LIVE before you tie yourself down...you WILL regret it later...and it WILL have an effect on your family. I've seen it over and over...teens and twenty y/olds married with children...and all fucked up because of it. There ARE stages in life...don't rush...prepare for the next.

Just MY thoughts...don't take it as gospel.

I take it as... 52 years old and can't resist the id.

Listen to your ego and super-ego. Your ego and super ego champion actionable coping-mechanisms. Your ego is your ability to reason like an adult. More complex decisions like morals, ethics and resisting primitive, id impulses is what our super ego deals with.

Id just craves dopamine, it doesn't evaluate the reality principle.

"Day one" (for the child) is the id. Id is a part of the child at birth and develops until age 7. The ego develops from a portion of the id. The id can be damaged from abuse, i.e. "fighting from day one" (with an adult!) A damaged id can challenge the child's ability to reason and relate.

If you bake a cake while jumping up and down on the kitchen floor, don't blame the cake when it falls.

Seek counseling. Learn the difference between actionable and non-actionable coping mechanisms. Non-actionable coping mechanisms hurt others because you're hurting too much to deal in actionable ways. Right now, your ego tells you that actionable methods will hurt YOU. Counseling will tell you it's not your fault and ease your pained ego. Then you can assist easing your child's pain. Who knows, maybe your kid will lead you toward healing.

Lots of us are victims of non-actionable child rearing. Many of us share your pain. Some of us pass these challenged aspects on to our children.

That's what this thread addresses, ending coping mechanisms that don't work. If we do, our kids aren't as likely to fall into the same trap(s) themselves.

You also mention hate several times... potential anger management area. Hate needs to be addressed, not used.

You allowed your "joy" to thrive. You crawled your "fight from day one's" ass because you're afraid of something you can't admit nor deal with. Instead, you blame somebody that didn't possess the ability in the formative years.

Learn to accept your circumstances. Your child should feel accepted in the macro (even if you still have micro-management aspects.) Too many parents tell themselves they "love", they don't have to "like". In this circumstance one must SHOW love or suffer the potential challenges.

Here's my biggest concern. You mention (we) regarding fathers eating their young. You're too uncomfortable with making this cannibalistic metaphor your own.

A surprising lack of empathy is often one of the first signs of a challenged psyche.

 

[MickeyBlue42]

My father mixed business with pleasure sometimes, and I believe it cost him a lot of good, close friends.

James Bond was onto something in my opinion I will rather look after my close friendships then risk losing them over a business matter, you can always find another route!

 

[MickeyBlue42]

My father mixed business with pleasure sometimes, and I believe it cost him a lot of good, close friends.

James Bond was onto something in my opinion I will rather look after my close friendships then risk losing them over a business matter, you can always find another route!

 

[ROJO145]

Holy Shit Disco!!Now theres two people I dont wanna be in front of,You and judge judy!!LOL

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Holy shit! Thanks for the post, ROJO, Judy is the last person I wish to emulate. Her hubby must like it brutal.

Troubled relationships don't often meet in the middle. Self reflection helps avoid the propensity to project. Self reflection is encouraged by good counselors. They remind us the golden rule isn't a silly afterthought.

The Judge Judy I grimace over is the good counselor that cracks the shell of pain. Sometimes we feel like the egg. Sometimes that's too inconvenient to consider helping heal others (and ourselves.) But it's a first step toward healthy relationships.

 

[Hash Zeppelin]

Whats wrong with hard work? Working hard builds is good for you.
If there's things about your parents you don't like then make a decision to be different. It's that easy. My dad is kind of cheap,so I'm generous and always tip at least 20%,so what,not a big deal.
Try to be positive.
Merry christmas and happy holidays.

it's just a joke. I work hard enough. lol