How Have You Changed ??
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The_Leader said:
Hey, TL:
Thanks for the site referral. I did check it out and it seems to be another form of low impact resistance training. I used to train often and sometimes heavily, in weight training. I cannot aggressively workout as I once did because this body cannot stand the resistance like it once could. Now I am doing Tai Chi, which is much more easy on this body.
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asa42
Anime n Stoner Aficionado
hey... i do her stretches too! there are a few movements i cant/ wont do like sit ups, but all the different stretches i love! i find it an awesome way to self massage!The_Leader said:
as for how i've changed... i recently have been forced to change my diet.
edit: it is one of MANY changes. & i actually like my new diet.
a big help is i have gotten better at trying new things.
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asa42 said:
Asa42, glad you could make it. Interesting that you do the exercises too. At least you try, unlike many who just complain. It is true that as we age we change and so must recognize the fact and then reinvent ourselves. The state of youth is so forgiving. If I were to afflict upon this body the abuse that I once did almost daily, I would be dead now is short order. Now one of the changes I have had to adopt is self-discipline, which I do not like but now know is totally necessary to my overall well-being. One upside of self-discipline I have discovered is that it opens one's eyes to new possibilities, such as what I am truly capable of as in finding the limits of what I can do if I firmly set my mind to it. In many ways I was a self-indulgent weenny in my early years, putting few restrictions on my appetites and behavior. Maybe wisdom = discipline or maybe discipline = wisdom. As far as trying new things goes, thanks for bringing this up, because I was quite put off by my stogie old relatives who did not keep up with whatever was contemporary. I make the effort to know who is who in arts and entertainment. I read what's new in world affairs, and the latest gadget, and discoveries, and I am interested in sampling the foods of other cultures, and so forth. I know I don't know it all, but try to stay current. I think you do too, so what else do you have to offer?
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asa42
Anime n Stoner Aficionado
1st post of 2
1st post of 2
tryin new food can be so odd yet possibly very rewording. i use to turn my nose up at the thought of clams & mussles. then i found myself collecting them, preparing them, & enjoyin them. my love & i went to a restaurant thinkin it was mexican as we got closer we realized it was paruvian (sp?), clueless as what to order we picked out a couple dishes. it is now a regular place for us. most recently i tried soy milk... still not sure what i think about it, but i tried it.
aside from food there are endless...
1st post of 2
tryin new food can be so odd yet possibly very rewording. i use to turn my nose up at the thought of clams & mussles. then i found myself collecting them, preparing them, & enjoyin them. my love & i went to a restaurant thinkin it was mexican as we got closer we realized it was paruvian (sp?), clueless as what to order we picked out a couple dishes. it is now a regular place for us. most recently i tried soy milk... still not sure what i think about it, but i tried it.
aside from food there are endless...
asa42
Anime n Stoner Aficionado
... new things to try. one thing i tried once before that i'd love to do again even tho many think it's nuts is skydiving! it was awesome!
anyway, yes it does take discipline to do certain things... not real sure where mine is coming from. *shrugs* just tryin to keep my mind & body happy.
coarse that in itself is a change cause i used to do what i thought was expected of me.
anyway, yes it does take discipline to do certain things... not real sure where mine is coming from. *shrugs* just tryin to keep my mind & body happy.
coarse that in itself is a change cause i used to do what i thought was expected of me.
asa42 said:
Good day, asa42, and thanks for responding.
I think that trying new things is part of what helps to keep us young in mind and spirit. It is an attitude really that we either keep as we age or else must make the conscious effort to develop. You know, when traveling abroad part of the fun is to emerse yourself in the local culture and that includes eating exotic dishes, sampling this and that, even if you find you don't like one dish or another, at least you tried it and then can talk about it later. To add a little something new to your life experience you can go to a local foreign resturante and do exactly what you describe in order to stay out of the eating rut. And you can do this with clothing, jewelry, music, furnishings, etc. Maybe doing this is not so much change as it is expansion, although if you are not normally into expanding your boundries then it could be called change. You mention skydiving, which I have not done, but I used to think I would not want to go whitewater rafting. But after doing it once, I was hooked. It was awesome on many levels, presenting a level of danger not encountered during one's usual day. Skydiving, whitewater rafting.... it surely makes you feel alive in a way that cannot be explained adequately, but must be experienced to be appreciated. Primitives hunting dangerous beasts must have had this exhilerating experience daily.
Yeah, breaking the mold, the status quo thinking, can not only change one's self but may even inspire others to sample change too. Anyway, good for you. I think that you may grow old but you don't have to get old.
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So many interesting answers! One thing I've learned is that "less is more" as far as materials things goes. I listen more, talk less. I don't feel the need to respond or react to everything like I used to, now I reflect more before I talk.
I find alot of pleasure in my dogs, in just being outside. I don't make these crazy "to-do lists" anymore, I just make my efforts count for something, even if it's for my own sense of laziness! I quit trying to be perfect & just started learning to be myself.
I find alot of pleasure in my dogs, in just being outside. I don't make these crazy "to-do lists" anymore, I just make my efforts count for something, even if it's for my own sense of laziness! I quit trying to be perfect & just started learning to be myself.
peacenik said:
Welcome to this interesting thread, peacenik. It is folks like you who make it so because you contribute worthwhile observations and commentary - the kind that results from experince gained from years of real living, as opposed to the utopian theories inherent with youth. I know because I certainly believed all the '60s bumper sticker slogans. But real living - butting heads, getting smashed by bigotted and selfish and idiotic bosses, office backstabbing, fairweather friends, immature girl/boyfriends, the death of loved ones, and all the rest of human interaction - leaves one no quarter. So each of use is forced to decide which value system to embrace, which usually means taking the hard road of the good guy or the easy road of being a prick. And, really, who cares what I or you think of something, just as should I care what someone else thinks? Is it so bloody necessary that I agree or disagree with anyone, anymore than thinking someone must agree with my opinions? Of course not. It's nothing more than flexing one's ego, and I find that I don't need to waste my energy on this exercise. Sure, it is nice to have another agree with you, but to what end, a moment of satisfaction that changes nothing? I now know that I do not need to have my ego propped up, especially now that I know my ego has always been my enemy. So, yeah, now I can just sit back as an observer and listen to what others are saying, realizing so often that what is being said is self-grandizement also known as bullshit. I don't need anymore of that in my life. So, it is quite a shock to discover that there is wide gulf between what or who your ego has led you to believe about yourself and the truth of what you are. And believe me, the truth is crushing and disheartening, but it can also be liberating if you are pursuing brutal honesty. As opposed to how I used to view myself, I painfully but humbly now know that on the ladder of perfection I am trying to jump to reach that first rung. Peacenik, from your comments, I think I can say that you agree to some degree, for I too am stumbling along that long road called "learning to be myself".
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RED145
Member
When I was in my twenties,I could take both hands and try as I mite I couldnt bend my penis!
In my middle thirties I could take one hand and give it a crank and bend it a good inch!
I'm in my middle forties now and with three fingers I can bend it right in half..
You think I'm gonna get any stronger???
In my middle thirties I could take one hand and give it a crank and bend it a good inch!
I'm in my middle forties now and with three fingers I can bend it right in half..
You think I'm gonna get any stronger???
G
Guest
lol! omg....
good one!
good one!
I can see now how much I can learn by putting my ego in my purse & letting someone else be "in charge". I used to think that whoever talked the most & the loudest was in charge! I was never ambitious at making money, never had that big career. Not that I didn't think that I needed to follow that path, I knew that was not for me. I guess I've been just searching, waiting. Like there's always been this "big nebulous something" that was coming, some purpose that I was yet to fulfill. And I pray alot more.
Here's another change: I can undress faster during a hot flash than I could have ever done for hot sex!
Here's another change: I can undress faster during a hot flash than I could have ever done for hot sex!
peacenik said:
Hi, peacenik. Thank you for more input. You remind me that I too was not as ambitious as others or as I could have been; its just that I was not raised that way. As a child I was expected to basically be seen but not heard in a home where the rod was never spared, so for survival I learned at a very early age to stay small, to keep quiet, to keep out of the way, to do as I was told, to not ask for anything, and to expect harsh punishment. As a four year old – my escape fantasy - I once had the ambition to grow up to be a prince, only to be severely crushed and demoralized upon realizing that princes come from royalty, which my parents certainly were not. My crippling low self-esteem followed me for many years until I was able to get a new perspective and hence a grip on myself. Also, I too felt that I was destined for something elusive but special – if only I could discern what it might be…… But neither riches nor importance found its way into my life, but the hard knocks did, so my vault contains hard-won experiences, the truth of worldly reality. All of which has taught me that I don’t want to be just another poor slob ass-hole looking for an opportunity to take advantage of someone else. The operative word is karma. As far as your speed goes for getting naked, well, who in their right mind would want to prolong a hot flash anyway? So how do you feel about being older?
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freeatlast
Member
I have become more caring of other,s feelings and also realized that everything is not about me.after doing some jail time.I appriciate things more and let other,s know how grateful I am for their help .Peace
freeatlast said:
Hi, freeatlast. Good to have you join in. Sorry about the jail time, but if that was what was needed to inspire a change for the better, then we must accept that reality. It's just that some people require harder knocks to get the point. In looking back, considering my activities, I think my avoiding jail was not so much being cautious as it was just luck. Thankfully, my changes occured as I aged, because I cannot imagine being incarcerated. It is simply to horrible a punishment for someone like me who was never a hard-ass to have endured. I am pleased to hear you use the words caring, appreciate and grateful. No one with a top-heavy ego would admit such attributes, so I applaude you and your personal growth. I think your shared thoughts, concise as they are, inspire me and others to embrace our development as human beings as well as make us encourage others to grow and become better beings.
Thank you for adding your positive energy.
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Hello to All!
Feeling better & ready to share again
A point that has really hit home recently is how I view my relationships with others. When there's disagreements or hassles within the family, I guess I'm not so eager anymore to be "the fixer". I'd be that person that'd do most anything just to keep the peace, solve the problem, etc. Growing up in a home where alcohol was a problem, I was the one who took that role. And I see other family members still playing out these out-dated roles, like there's been no growth in all these years. Guess it's natural to fall back into comfortable personas rather than to acknowledge & deal with change. It's sad, but I'm just not easy to manipulate that way so I guess I'm now "difficult"!
I question if I'm seeing things through those rose-colored glasses or being objective, when I feel that way I just shut down. Over-medicated perhaps? My own personal paranoia I guess, am I interpreting the signals correctly?
But I'm certainly not unique in questioning myself!
I enjoy reading everyone's responses here, it's a good feeling to share these tidbits of our lives.
Keep spreading the love out here folks!
Feeling better & ready to share again
A point that has really hit home recently is how I view my relationships with others. When there's disagreements or hassles within the family, I guess I'm not so eager anymore to be "the fixer". I'd be that person that'd do most anything just to keep the peace, solve the problem, etc. Growing up in a home where alcohol was a problem, I was the one who took that role. And I see other family members still playing out these out-dated roles, like there's been no growth in all these years. Guess it's natural to fall back into comfortable personas rather than to acknowledge & deal with change. It's sad, but I'm just not easy to manipulate that way so I guess I'm now "difficult"!
I question if I'm seeing things through those rose-colored glasses or being objective, when I feel that way I just shut down. Over-medicated perhaps? My own personal paranoia I guess, am I interpreting the signals correctly?
But I'm certainly not unique in questioning myself!
I enjoy reading everyone's responses here, it's a good feeling to share these tidbits of our lives.
Keep spreading the love out here folks!peacenik said:Hello to All!
Feeling better & ready to share again
A point that has really hit home recently is how I view my relationships with others. When there's disagreements or hassles within the family, I guess I'm not so eager anymore to be "the fixer". I'd be that person that'd do most anything just to keep the peace, solve the problem, etc. Growing up in a home where alcohol was a problem, I was the one who took that role. And I see other family members still playing out these out-dated roles, like there's been no growth in all these years. Guess it's natural to fall back into comfortable personas rather than to acknowledge & deal with change. It's sad, but I'm just not easy to manipulate that way so I guess I'm now "difficult"!
I question if I'm seeing things through those rose-colored glasses or being objective, when I feel that way I just shut down. Over-medicated perhaps? My own personal paranoia I guess, am I interpreting the signals correctly?
But I'm certainly not unique in questioning myself!
I enjoy reading everyone's responses here, it's a good feeling to share these tidbits of our lives.
Hi, peacenik:
So nice to have you back in this zone for another chat, and I am glad that you are feeling better.
In response to your comments - since I don’t know your specifics, other than growing up in a home with alcohol – let me respond in general psychological terms. I have learned that in growing up in a dysfunctional household, a child soon realizes subconsciously that he is in a situation in which, as a child, he has no power and his well being is threatened, and he is not nourished with love. His circumstance becomes one of survival on several levels, so she has to quickly learn how to cope with the overall situation, as well as how to relate to individuals who comprise the threatening situation. The child’s response mechanism becomes part of his personality which is part of his identity. In my case, as with you, I have a view of myself, I have a view of each of my family members, and each of them has a view of me. So, this “view” becomes ingrained as a knee-jerk reaction. It is the role you speak of. This role is how you see yourself and is your false identity. When you and your family get together, each of you expects the other to behave in a certain way, in spite of how you have grown and matured since childhood. And, you are also expecting each family member to act as you have known them to all your life. This is not real, but people continue to act out dysfunctional roles. Sometimes a strong person will break out of the old role, shed the old ineffective identity, which then threatens the rest of the family dynamic. But this challenge to the old sense of family identity is exactly what is needed in order for the family to evolve away from its dysfunctional identity. So, we, you and I, have to consciously decide to respond to one another in new ways, in better more healthy ways. We have to change how we see ourselves so that we can change our identities. It’s not through rose-colored glasses that we are seeing the world anew; it is making an effort to re-invent ourselves into who we know in our hearts we really are. And by doing so, we create a different personal aura that in turn attracts a different response from the world. It’s all just spiritual physics at work through which you begin to see and realize - once you step away from your old self - that there is a grander view of the world, one in which you have more control and more confidence because you are being true to your true identity, and not some false identity you had to adopt for survival.
Peacenik, everything you said is dead-on right. The mental confusion comes from the new you trying to act like the false old you when you get around people who expect you to present yourself as they have thought of you forever and still do. There are not two yous, but you are dragging around this old persona baggage. You have two different sets of vibrations trying to occupy the same space. This is against the laws of physics, and creates mental confusion or chaos. Screw conforming to old expectations imposed on you by past relations, both your view of yourself and that of others. I know you are experiencing this because you are aware of it. I am too, believe me. I also know how hard it is to drop the past and accept a new identity, but doing so sure feels better. This is why people feel alive and reborn when they move to a new city or travel. You are not around people who expect anything from you. They don’t know you, so you give yourself the freedom to behave more like the real you that you know on a deep level you are.
I have to thank you for bringing this up, because what you describe is true of virtually everyone. There is a very knowable reason why the world is full of chaos, which is that the world is full of people who’s mental states are chaotic storms which clash into one another. At least some of us realize what is happening and make the effort to correct the situation, starting on the personal level. So, thanks again for creating an opportunity for me to respond by sharing my thoughts on a common problem.
Logos
Logos,
What a beautiful reply that was & SO TRUE! We're all at the age that our places in the family structures have changed. By this time we've probably lost atleast one grandparent, and now our parents are passing on. Personally, both of my parents are gone, both of my husband's parents have now gone. So there's a void to fill there for each of us. I really saw this void during this big in-law visit recently. My mother-in-law has been dead almost 3 years now & the whole family dynamics is shot. The "favorite" is feeling so lost & powerless as the person who gave her that dominating position is gone now. She put so much energy into being the pet that there's little reason for that attitude now. Nobody's buying it anymore. I see this same situation with my friends as their parents pass away.
You were spot on about me, thank you so much for your insight. It's true I have moved to a new area within the past 4 years, were in a more isolated place with a small population. Just dealing with mother nature has changed alot of my priorities in life! And the people I've met, the friends I've made, I feel "home" here you know? I am grateful that I feel accepted here as I know how hard that can be.
I do believe we all have that choice once you've dealt with alot of truths about the realities of your childhood. When you've become older than the age that your parents were at during hard times, you can relate better to the reasons behind their decisions, see them as people. You can say "I made it!" & move on, or carry that with you as your excuse.
It's so true that any real cooperation in our world can only come from people who are in harmony within themselves, in their communities & their environments. And since I do believe in God, being in harmony on that level can make alot of the rest of it happen. What a wonderful dream that is! To no longer be in confict. We're being given the tools to work on ourselves all the time, we just miss the point alot.
We have to remember that what is in our hearts is true, that what our senses tell us sometimes can mislead.
We've also seen relatives, friends, etc. change their attitudes about us just because we use mmj. People who could've really cared less about our well-being are now very interested! It's the nature of that beast, it could become part of our illnesses if we let that get to us too much. You become their "expert sick-person" who going to do them right. The value of the medicine clouds their eyes to what we're going through to have it. Well that sounds like almost another topic so I'll just end right here! Peace to all
What a beautiful reply that was & SO TRUE! We're all at the age that our places in the family structures have changed. By this time we've probably lost atleast one grandparent, and now our parents are passing on. Personally, both of my parents are gone, both of my husband's parents have now gone. So there's a void to fill there for each of us. I really saw this void during this big in-law visit recently. My mother-in-law has been dead almost 3 years now & the whole family dynamics is shot. The "favorite" is feeling so lost & powerless as the person who gave her that dominating position is gone now. She put so much energy into being the pet that there's little reason for that attitude now. Nobody's buying it anymore. I see this same situation with my friends as their parents pass away.
You were spot on about me, thank you so much for your insight. It's true I have moved to a new area within the past 4 years, were in a more isolated place with a small population. Just dealing with mother nature has changed alot of my priorities in life! And the people I've met, the friends I've made, I feel "home" here you know? I am grateful that I feel accepted here as I know how hard that can be.
I do believe we all have that choice once you've dealt with alot of truths about the realities of your childhood. When you've become older than the age that your parents were at during hard times, you can relate better to the reasons behind their decisions, see them as people. You can say "I made it!" & move on, or carry that with you as your excuse.
It's so true that any real cooperation in our world can only come from people who are in harmony within themselves, in their communities & their environments. And since I do believe in God, being in harmony on that level can make alot of the rest of it happen. What a wonderful dream that is! To no longer be in confict. We're being given the tools to work on ourselves all the time, we just miss the point alot.
We have to remember that what is in our hearts is true, that what our senses tell us sometimes can mislead.
We've also seen relatives, friends, etc. change their attitudes about us just because we use mmj. People who could've really cared less about our well-being are now very interested! It's the nature of that beast, it could become part of our illnesses if we let that get to us too much. You become their "expert sick-person" who going to do them right. The value of the medicine clouds their eyes to what we're going through to have it. Well that sounds like almost another topic so I'll just end right here! Peace to all
dreaded
Active member
I'm feeling everyone here
I'm feeling everyone here
I won't get on my past , cause i don't have the time,& i don't really like to type that much. " LOL".
I recently moved from my home town of 47 yrs. & i know what you mean when you say that there's no expectations.
Logos.... you ever think about being s shrink ... I'm serious.. I mean that in a good way .
peace.
I'm feeling everyone here
I won't get on my past , cause i don't have the time,& i don't really like to type that much. " LOL".
I recently moved from my home town of 47 yrs. & i know what you mean when you say that there's no expectations.
Logos.... you ever think about being s shrink ... I'm serious.. I mean that in a good way .
peace.
