Lol. that's funny^^^
Hey, y'all, my IC FAM, help me be happy again!!!!
- Thread starter castout
- Start date
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by a cop for speeding. After he tells the driver of his offense he notices a few odd items in the speeders back seat, "What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."
"Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Lets see you do it, impress me and I won't write you up for your speeding offense." The juggler quickly gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "Am I ever glad I quit drinking, look at the roadside sobriety test they're giving now!"
haha thats a good one^^^
1
187020
What's your stripper name?
Just wanted to thank everyone for the jokes and the links. Everytime I think I am going to be ok, and make it through this, something knocks me back down. I know how blessed I am to have my other half here with me, but sometimes, we are on opposite pages. Neither of us is really able to tell or show the other, how we are feeling......neither wants to make the other hurt anymore, than we already are. So there is alot of silence between us. I could never do this alone, and he is the most amazing strong man I have ever known. This situation has taken a toll on our relationship. Sometimes we don't see anybody or talk to anybody, but each other, for weeks at a time. I miss being social. I miss the way we used to be. I am a pretty strong person, but this has brought me to my knees. My strength always came from having to be there for my kids, and now, they are living lives, that I am not a part of. I miss the smell of my kids...each one, had a different smell. I miss holding them in my arms, and talking to them and soothing their pain. I miss being a Mom. I know I am going to miss being there when grandchildren come along......I am tired of hiding my pain. This is the only place I feel ok, saying how bad this is. I cry alot....I cry alone, alot. I so want to have some comfort, but this is where I come for that. I don't deserve any comfort.....all the pain I have caused to my kids. Self loathing sucks. I miss looking in the mirror and seeing a happy face....now all I see is a ghost. I dunno where this road is going, but I sure hope the town of PEACE, in the state of HAPPY is just around the corner. I could use a vacation there. Thanks for taking the time to read this, it really does help, to hear the words of encouragement. Stay HIGH, it's better than being low!!!
S
sweetestsin420
The bride tells her husband
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
terribleone
Member
this should cheer you up.
probably about 5 years ago, Castout,toh and i went to a really nice bakery. the woman in line before us was admiring the fruit tarts. she decided she REALLY needed a closer look.
BONG!
this bitch hit her forehead on the squeeky clean glass display case. castout and i lost our shit and couldnt stop laughing. being the kind person she is, cast offered up some wisdom to the old woman to make her feel better........." its ok i do it all the time!". WOW. i was a few giggles away from pee dripping out. we both were laughing like maniacs when we came out. toh was in the car looking @ us like we were crazy people.
probably about 5 years ago, Castout,toh and i went to a really nice bakery. the woman in line before us was admiring the fruit tarts. she decided she REALLY needed a closer look.
BONG!
this bitch hit her forehead on the squeeky clean glass display case. castout and i lost our shit and couldnt stop laughing. being the kind person she is, cast offered up some wisdom to the old woman to make her feel better........." its ok i do it all the time!". WOW. i was a few giggles away from pee dripping out. we both were laughing like maniacs when we came out. toh was in the car looking @ us like we were crazy people.
I know it's tough but please don't do this to yourself. Maybe how things have worked out has caused pain for your loved ones but that was never your intention. The things you did, were always with the intention of providing your family with what they needed as best you knew how, in a world where the cost of living is slave to greed and corruption. If anything has brought pain to your kids it is this riddiculous prohibition that harms so so many people's lives. Don't let this misfortune beat you down. Rather let it remind you of the injustice of it all and steel your resolve to see the day it ends.
Thanks Hempy, your words mean so much....I will take any comforts!!!! This prohibition is killing me......well maybe not killing me, but sapping my strength, both physical and emotional. I am trying to keep my chin up, but it is hard. Everything in my new life is hard....I don't want wine, roses and sunny days, just some peace, from time to time. I want to KNOW my kids are ok......that they aren't hurting......sometimes I think it would be easier if I would just die. But then what would TOH do with my body? Does he turn it in, and risk his safety?? I can't kill myself, because my children would be horrified. I have RSD, and they call it the suicide disease, cause killing yourself is the only cure, but I have battled RSD for years, and never given up, so I can't let the govt be the reason I give up. BUT.......if I get cancer again, I won't fight it....just let the cards fall where thay may. Then I think about TOH, all alone, and that plan isn't so good. I know we could not do this, without each other....and the thought of leaving him alone, sucks!!!! No easy answers, and nothing but sadness ahead................
I hear you and if it were within my power I'd gladly remove all your woes and grant you that peace from time to time and throw in some wine, roses and sunny days for good measure. Oh and pretty much anything TOH wanted too for being such a good and loving partner. Does he fully understand what an exceptional partner he is, compared to most of his generation?
Alas I have no such power to make any of that happen and can only pray that karma will make it all right in the end. The two of you are good people and don't deserve any of this, I've met you and seen how you two handle yourselves so I am certain I'm right on that score.
Unfortunately for TOH, he feels so bad about this situation. In the beginning, we were like the 2 people in that movie "Open Water" and we fought and blamed the other, then we just had to start accepting and stop blaming. Now, like I said, when we talk about everything, it is like fucking with a wound, so we avoid talking about stuff. Neither of us wants to hurt the other, but the silence is what really hurts. We both know how lucky we are to have each other, and could not do this without one another. He is like my siamese twin....if he isn't close, I get nervous, and vice versa. He is the most decent person I know, and even though we have our moments, this would unimagineable without him.
I'm still tryin' to make ya giggle hun.......
1
187020
Maybe some buttery mild wings?
Or tangy wangs wit medium sauce?
Stay crispy with peace!
Or tangy wangs wit medium sauce?
Stay crispy with peace!
This post had expired.roflmao, this shit made my stomach hurt!
didnt know what RSD was until i just googled it. thats heavy sis, i really feel for you on that one.
i wouldnt worry about growing meds so much though, since thats what you have to do at this point. the pain is the cause of everything else. its hard as hell to look past it so the most i can say is u and hubby have to try.
you guys need something to talk about, it is soooooo very important! my wife and i are guilty of not speaking to each other/being in separate rooms at times, the most we have to worry about is our weight health, and we're not even mad at each other most of the time.
please i beg you guys to try and mix it up somehow, anyhow/whichway you can. maybe some boardgames? i know you offered cuts, but now i just wanna come out and hang with you guys. where i am in NJ, im kinda cut off from all my friends/fam in NY. the times being what they are have had a great help in that. gas and tolls being what they are make a simple visit a true financial burden for some (what is simple for some is nt simple for others these days), while others are just lazy. im in that lonely boat as well 'cause of all that
well cravenmore hasnt helped me at all, i was supposed to start that "INSANITY" series a couple of days ago and havent gotten around to it, so yeah thanks for the "inspiration"! lmao; but stoner4life's pic was the shit though!!
if that didnt make you at least chuckle then "we" need to do a party intervention for you guys somehow/someway
i wouldnt worry about growing meds so much though, since thats what you have to do at this point. the pain is the cause of everything else. its hard as hell to look past it so the most i can say is u and hubby have to try.
you guys need something to talk about, it is soooooo very important! my wife and i are guilty of not speaking to each other/being in separate rooms at times, the most we have to worry about is our weight health, and we're not even mad at each other most of the time.
please i beg you guys to try and mix it up somehow, anyhow/whichway you can. maybe some boardgames? i know you offered cuts, but now i just wanna come out and hang with you guys. where i am in NJ, im kinda cut off from all my friends/fam in NY. the times being what they are have had a great help in that. gas and tolls being what they are make a simple visit a true financial burden for some (what is simple for some is nt simple for others these days), while others are just lazy. im in that lonely boat as well 'cause of all that
well cravenmore hasnt helped me at all, i was supposed to start that "INSANITY" series a couple of days ago and havent gotten around to it, so yeah thanks for the "inspiration"! lmao; but stoner4life's pic was the shit though!!
if that didnt make you at least chuckle then "we" need to do a party intervention for you guys somehow/someway
