herei am at 49...and friendless.
- Thread starter mtbazz
- Start date
Hi, I'm in 32 right now and I don't have any friends either.
The biggest reason for that is that I never learned how to correctly interact with other people. The reason for that is how I was raised. I always needed to shut up, don't ask, don't look and I never 'heard' anything.
I know for some here this will sound very recognizable who are just like me born and raised in the 'world of organized crime'. I managed to escape that world but I find it very hard to act normal. I have currently a regular job for 10 years now but things lately don't go well there. I received a new chief and he hates my guts. A year ago he was giving me a hard time and something snapped in me. I then opened up my mouth and the shit I used to say and do in such situation in the past came out of my dumb mouth. Needless to say he is damn scared of me now. But whatever, I learned a lot in these 10years I think I can manage to find another job and start over again.
To satisfy my need for social interaction I use internet forums. Nobody knows me here, judges me or even gives a damn. And maybe I can find some people here who can relate and understand me. Who knows. Plz pm me is you can.
The biggest reason for that is that I never learned how to correctly interact with other people. The reason for that is how I was raised. I always needed to shut up, don't ask, don't look and I never 'heard' anything.
I know for some here this will sound very recognizable who are just like me born and raised in the 'world of organized crime'. I managed to escape that world but I find it very hard to act normal. I have currently a regular job for 10 years now but things lately don't go well there. I received a new chief and he hates my guts. A year ago he was giving me a hard time and something snapped in me. I then opened up my mouth and the shit I used to say and do in such situation in the past came out of my dumb mouth. Needless to say he is damn scared of me now. But whatever, I learned a lot in these 10years I think I can manage to find another job and start over again.
To satisfy my need for social interaction I use internet forums. Nobody knows me here, judges me or even gives a damn. And maybe I can find some people here who can relate and understand me. Who knows. Plz pm me is you can.
brown_thumb
Active member
Don't feel guilty, CVH. I had a horrific sociopathic (cruel) boss for a few years and twice I threatened to beat him to within an inch of his life and mop the floor with his limp body.
N
noyd666
cvh , you sound like most people I know. your normal.lol.
brown_thumb
Active member
CVH, I think what you 'might' have is called Asperger's Syndrome. It's a very mild form of social autism that's caused by environmental conditions at a young age. It's completely normal given the circumstances and is treatable. Do a little research for Asperger's Syndrome. It might be enlightening for you. Once you understand what is the cause... you can research the condition and begin treating yourself. It's not easy but doable.
I had/have it, as does one of my brothers and my son. I think my father probably had it.
I had/have it, as does one of my brothers and my son. I think my father probably had it.
HazyBulldog
Member
I was gonna make friends, then I got high.
Genghis Kush
Active member
;
brown_thumb
Active member
You may be right... and maybe not. It's up to CVH to research and decide.
I could not find any while visiting the coast. The result of my extensive cubensis and especially cyanescens experiments on a single subject does not support mushrooms as any form of treatment in this area. Plus, mushrooms are very introspective, which can be pretty depressing for someone with good reasons to be depressed. I did not try microdosing though. But everyone should try at least a dose high enough to make surfaces real interesting for a couple hours.
Certain phenylalkylamines are or could be commonly indicated for social problems, and there are several of those that everyone should try too.
Most all of my posts here are arguing with someone just like that. It doesn't seem to be helping me.
"You have to give up, you have to realize that some day you will die" - Tyler Durden, Fight Club
I am mid 30s, and i concur it is quite the frightening realization when you get to the point that you really realize this IS your life and it is ending one minute at a time. Instead of focusing on what one does not have, instead focus on being grateful for the things you do have. I realized a long time ago i didn't want nor need many friends in this life, ironically i make friends very easily because im quite a friendly guy in real life, but i found it too much for me on many levels to pursue all these relationships / friendships that seemed like a chore.
Nowadays i have a few close friends, a girl i see once or twice a week, and 2 cats and a dog. I spend most of my time alone. Do i get lonely sometimes? Yes, of course! Humans are social creatures and we need socialization in our lives sometimes. I have personally taken isolation to the extreme (because of growing) and i know that ultimately it is not healthy.
@ MTBazz hey bro i love your honesty its very poignant to me reading your honest portrayal of your life at 49. Im sure you are a good dude man, so keep your head up and don't be too hard on yourself. Most humans are absolutely miserable IMO, and they are probably not deserving of your friendship. If you do want to make some new friends even just one or 2 just take it slowly, be yourself, and get out there and do some more activities you are interested in. Woman?? Thats another way for some companionship. There are some great girls out there in the same boat as you looking for a chilled down ass smart guy to hang with. You just gotta seek them out and find them. It takes effort on your part to do this
Don't go sacrificing your entire social life for growing either. I did this for a number of years. Now i just live less afraid but still with a high level of paranoia and security (that will never change) Sometimes people cannot even see what is right in front of their nose (or behind a close door). Always be careful of course but you can have both if you play it carefully
Also, mushrooms, hell yeah! Nothing like a strong trip from some legit psilocybin to COMPLETELY alter your perceived view of yourself
I am mid 30s, and i concur it is quite the frightening realization when you get to the point that you really realize this IS your life and it is ending one minute at a time. Instead of focusing on what one does not have, instead focus on being grateful for the things you do have. I realized a long time ago i didn't want nor need many friends in this life, ironically i make friends very easily because im quite a friendly guy in real life, but i found it too much for me on many levels to pursue all these relationships / friendships that seemed like a chore.
Nowadays i have a few close friends, a girl i see once or twice a week, and 2 cats and a dog. I spend most of my time alone. Do i get lonely sometimes? Yes, of course! Humans are social creatures and we need socialization in our lives sometimes. I have personally taken isolation to the extreme (because of growing) and i know that ultimately it is not healthy.
@ MTBazz hey bro i love your honesty its very poignant to me reading your honest portrayal of your life at 49. Im sure you are a good dude man, so keep your head up and don't be too hard on yourself. Most humans are absolutely miserable IMO, and they are probably not deserving of your friendship. If you do want to make some new friends even just one or 2 just take it slowly, be yourself, and get out there and do some more activities you are interested in. Woman?? Thats another way for some companionship. There are some great girls out there in the same boat as you looking for a chilled down ass smart guy to hang with. You just gotta seek them out and find them. It takes effort on your part to do this
Don't go sacrificing your entire social life for growing either. I did this for a number of years. Now i just live less afraid but still with a high level of paranoia and security (that will never change) Sometimes people cannot even see what is right in front of their nose (or behind a close door). Always be careful of course but you can have both if you play it carefully Also, mushrooms, hell yeah! Nothing like a strong trip from some legit psilocybin to COMPLETELY alter your perceived view of yourself
Friends are overrated. Family all you need!
Genghis Kush
Active member
all you need is Love
If i didn't have weed in my life, the isolation would probably be too much. Had some homemade edibles last night, just pottering around home chatting online, watching some videos on the internet, eating some nice food high as fuck chuckling away over nothing, it was bliss. Then had a solid 10 hour sleep to top it all off.
Hey MTBazz you said you stopped smoking earlier in the thread?? Perhaps that is making you far too aware of your "reality" I think you need some weed in your life mate
Hey MTBazz you said you stopped smoking earlier in the thread?? Perhaps that is making you far too aware of your "reality" I think you need some weed in your life mate
D
Dioni
Oh man, been having fun with liquid mushrooms for the past few months...
I believe every person over 35 should dose at least once a year...
MelloYello
Active member
I experienced only the cubensis, large with blue stems, a couple times before my liberty cap experience.
There was no comparing the experiences.
My brother-in-law hunts edible mushrooms for a living and he says he is keeping his eye out for the liberty Caps. I'm hopeful
From the trials with Liberty Caps I have read, a smaller dose is beneficial
